Ladies, I'm struggling...

[Evolving78]

Hi Babygirl... Come here little sister. I want to tell you something.

Did you really and truly think that this came as a surprise to you?

Sweet Mocha, you've been growing in the Lord, actually you've had a spiritual growth spurt. And with each measure of spiritual growth comes a 'challenge' attached to it. Yes, my lovely one, a challenge 'attached'.

Mocha, as a minister, you are called to share things that you KNOW from experience how to guide those you are called to minister to. This is NOT about your husband; neither that much about being tired.

God is preparing you for the next level of ministry that He has called you to. And there is no couch for you to hide behind. None... Mocha, you have matured to the level where Despite the Odds, Despite your feelings, despite your weariness, God has called to you to 'handle' this correctly and HIS way. Not our way which is being ruled by the flesh and our emotions.

It's not about your husband. It's not about your husband. It's not about your husband....Sweet Mocha, this is not about your husband.

Neither is it about the devil. It's about looking beyond the 'natural' realm and allowing yourself to do what you know is right to do and then REJOICE in it. Asking God to replace your weary feelings with HIS JOY; HIS Peace; HIS Wisdom, HIS marriage healing balm of regeneration.

Mocha, it's time to get past and look past what your feelings have been and allowing the Holy Spirit to flow within. It's time to be as Jesus, who when we were yet in sin, He still chose to STAY and not give up on us. To not forsake the love that He knew He still felt for us, though we were not worthy. For, didn't Jesus show and express His weariness with us, when He said, "How long must I tarry with you...". Yet, He tarried and fulfilled the plan to the very end. How often did God want to give up on us and even called the Children of Isreal, 'as stiff-necked' generation. Yet He did not leave.

The heart of the matter is staying not because you want to, but because you know better. This is what our Spiritual Walk is going to entail. Going past our feelings and doing what we know is right. And you have grown spiritually to do this.

Now doing something for yourself, is fine, so is fasting and prayer, but it still won't address what the real issue is. Leaving your husband and your marriage is not the answer, either; it's actually a compound to your currents feelings. The answer lies within your spiritual growth. It's graduation and promotion time, and God is saying, 'Pass this test'. I know you can and you will, for I am right there to receive you unto myself and comfort you through this entire experience."

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I love you Sweet Mocha....

ETA: Counseling is necessary, for this allows you to release the emotions attached to your heart and it allows you husband to release himself as well. You need to 'share' so that you can both heal. For you two will always be one. You'll both be again. This time, beyond the flesh. And you will be a testimony unto God.

You better get on your knees right now and pray like nobody's business. What do you have going on for yourself? All I have is my husband and kids and I'm going through some things right now, but for the next year coming up I will be doing some things for me. I don't want to get lost in my family. I wonder if this is what you are going through as well. You have been in the game a lot longer than me though. This is still all new to me.

 

[Mocha5]

Sweet Mocha, here's the thing. It IS the end. The end of what the two of you used to be, but can never be again.

Remember in your opening post, you said,



Mocha, this is why is feels like the 'end' and not the beginning. AND this is where FAITH comes in. Faith, which is the EVIDENCE of things hope for; the EVIDENCE of things not seen (or FELT).

Remember how all Abraham and Sarah had was Faith. Believing beyond hope,

Romans 4:18

(Abraham) ...who against hope believed in hope, that he might become the father of many nations, according to that which was spoken, So shall thy seed be.

Sweet Mocha, it only feels like the end because it's a new degree of Faith which God has already prepared you for long before you were born.

Write down all of the things that would happen if you left your husband...to him. Not you, but him.

When you have a chance view the classic Christmas movie, "It's a Wonderful Life" (starring James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore). Had George Bailey (the movie's character) not have fulfilled his Destiny in the lives of others....

Sweet Mocha, you have a Destiny to fulfill with your husband that no one else will ever have nor can ever fill...for your husband, Mr. Expresso (his name for Mocha5)

Yep. Faith was my word yesterday. Hebrews Chapter 11. I was blown away with the examples of faith. After reading those examples, you would think this would be easy. And I absolutely Love It's a Wonderful Life. "Daddy, teacher says everytime a bell rings an angel get his wings."

Praying that Mr. Expresso and I can fulfill our destiny.

 

[Mocha5]

You better get on your knees right now and pray like nobody's business. What do you have going on for yourself? All I have is my husband and kids and I'm going through some things right now, but for the next year coming up I will be doing some things for me. I don't want to get lost in my family. I wonder if this is what you are going through as well. You have been in the game a lot longer than me though. This is still all new to me.

Yeah, I think I'm going to go learn to shake my hips like Shimmie.

 

[Shimmie]

Yeah, I think I'm going to go learn to shake my hips like Shimmie.

 

[Shimmie]

Having a hobby is a wonderful idea and it releases endorphins (sp?) regenerates the blood, regenerates the mood, and clears and regenerates the head; it's the best medicine next to prayer.

It's good to be out with 'just the girls.' I have a wonderful blend of friends (some married, the others are 'married to be'). We're in the same dance class and we make it a point to get together outside of class at least once a month. We have monthly prayers gatherings as well, rotating each other's homes. We cook, pray, share and act like silly girls until as late as 2 in the morning.

BUT...I still have realities to face. I can't use my social fun as an escape; or to push my home challenges under the rug. But having a hobby and being with my 'girls' makes dealing with life a lot easier.

 

[klb120475]

I luv you Mocha!

 

[Mocha5]

Having a hobby is a wonderful idea and it releases endorphins (sp?) regenerates the blood, regenerates the mood, and clears and regenerates the head; it's the best medicine next to prayer.

It's good to be out with 'just the girls.' I have a wonderful blend of friends (some married, the others are 'married to be'). We're in the same dance class and we make it a point to get together outside of class at least once a month. We have monthly prayers gatherings as well, rotating each other's homes. We cook, pray, share and act like silly girls until as late as 2 in the morning.

BUT...I still have realities to face. I can't use my social fun as an escape; or to push my home challenges under the rug. But having a hobby and being with my 'girls' makes dealing with life a lot easier.

Yep. We have to keep things into perspective. I have an aquaintance who is completely consumed with her beely dancing.

Sounds like you have some great friends, Shimmie!

 

[Mocha5]

I luv you Mocha!

I love you too, K. Kisses!

 

[Shimmie]

Yep. We have to keep things into perspective. I have an aquaintance who is completely consumed with her beely dancing.

Sounds like you have some great friends, Shimmie!

And you are among my 'Dearest' Treasures of friends, Sweet Mocha.

You're going to be okay. All of us at one time or another want to hit our 'dearly beloved' husbands in the bottom. Or give them a beat down It brings out the Karate Kid in us when we have to tell them this over and over..... "Honey, if you leave one more sock on the floor....

Oh, and then don't let them ask us where their socks are when they need them...

Oh...the 'Dears' Yet we still love them, we really do.

Yet God still has His glory. He blesses us with new socks.

 

[Shimmie]

I luv you Mocha!

I love you, KLB...

Here's one for you too, Precious Wavy...

And to everyone :blowkiss:

 

[Mocha5]

I love you, KLB...

Here's one for you too, Precious Wavy...

And to everyone :blowkiss:

Ok, Shimmie. You are sooo sweet You about to give me a cavity. Guess we're gonna have to take our love fest to real life at some point. God will work it out.

 

[Mocha5]

A small update:

Last night was DH's Christmas party. He wanted me to go. I didn't want to go. Didn't feel like smiling and making intelligent conversation with his coworkers. We went round and round about me going because everything is an argument now. So I decided the night before that I wasn't going. Texted him and told him. So I call a couple friends from church and tell them I'm not going so they don't have to watch the kids. I talk to one and leave a message for the other one.

DH picks the boys up from school and the boys come in all excited, talking about, "You and daddy going to a Christmas party! Who's going to watch us?" I'm like mommy's not going. And I'm mad cause I'm like why did he tell them that. He KNOWS I told him I wasn't going. So of course we argue about that. I tell him, "Listen. Go to the party alone. You will survive without me!"

So he's pouting and taking so long to leave and I'm thinking if he doesn't get out of here! Next thing I know the doorbell rings. It's my girlfriend from church. I'm like you didn't get my message. She's like what message?

Come to find out her battery was dead so she hadn't checked her messages. So guess what?? I had to go. I was like look at you God. Why don't you just push me out the door!!!

 

[Evolving78]

A small update:

Last night was DH's Christmas party. He wanted me to go. I didn't want to go. Didn't feel like smiling and making intelligent conversation with his coworkers. We went round and round about me going because everything is an argument now. So I decided the night before that I wasn't going. Texted him and told him. So I call a couple friends from church and tell them I'm not going so they don't have to watch the kids. I talk to one and leave a message for the other one.

DH picks the boys up from school and the boys come in all excited, talking about, "You and daddy going to a Christmas party! Who's going to watch us?" I'm like mommy's not going. And I'm mad cause I'm like why did he tell them that. He KNOWS I told him I wasn't going. So of course we argue about that. I tell him, "Listen. Go to the party alone. You will survive without me!"

So he's pouting and taking so long to leave and I'm thinking if he doesn't get out of here! Next thing I know the doorbell rings. It's my girlfriend from church. I'm like you didn't get my message. She's like what message?

Come to find out her battery was dead so she hadn't checked her messages. So guess what?? I had to go. I was like look at you God. Why don't you just push me out the door!!!

I heard that! Amen!