I love you 'Sweet Mocha'. Each day is a new day of growth for each of us. But Babygirl, you are going to have to be prepared for your feelings and emotions are about to go onto a 'rollercoaster' ride. And angel, it has to. In order for God to strengthen you against all odds, you are going to experience facing some 'odds'. And who/where better to start than with the ones you love and are closest to. For once you pass thru this hurdle, you're going to be unshakable and a terror to hell and all of its cohorts.
And angel, you
WILL suceed this test. But you cannot expect each day to be a 'good' emotional day. For one day, or even days/weeks you'll have a good word from the Lord, but the 'issue' unresolved with your feelings will still be there and in need of being dealt with.
Mocha, I have to share this, for it I don't the devil is going to have a 'hay day' with your feelings, as I've been there and God blessed me with some serious Spiritual Mentors who kept me in prayer and encouragement and most of all, I was 'forewarned' with what to expect and what to do.
You see, I had to understand the plan of spritual growth in order to pass the course of it. That's why I'm so 'fixed' upon God's word. It took some tough pulls on my emotions to strengthen them and me to the point of not yielding to defeat...not fainting in battle, no matter how weary I began in well doing.
The Biblical examples are Job (of course), Abraham (his travels and the sacrifice of Issac), The Apostle Paul, and there's a woman in the Bible named, Rispah. I will share her story a little later.
I need to tell you something extremely important.
In your prayers,
do not ask God for
restoration. This is so 'key' for each of us when things begin to shift in our lives. Restored means back to the same way it was..... "key words" --- back to the same way it was.... it was... same way, it was. Now, do we really want this? And is this what God is trying to give us...the same as it was?
* God's word says to 'put off the 'old' man and put on the
new.
* All things have become
new....
* Forgetting those things which were behind and pressing on to the mark
which lies before us.
* For I will do a
NEW thing....
Mocha angel, we've outgrown the way things were before. We are no longer the same. Ever try putting last year's clothing on our children?
From the summer alone, they've outgrown all they've owned and it's time for new garments.
Mocha, you have outgrown the way things used to be with you and your husband. Love has matured in your growth with the Lord. The reasons you fell in love with your husband years ago, are no longer the same reasons you love him now. They can't be. Jesus said that we cannot put new wine into old wine skins. The old wine skins will burst, for they are no longer viable to contain the new growth of the new wine.
Both you and your husband have become new wine, new creations in Christ Jesus, a new beginning of life and love hereafter. Your prayers can only be, "Lord, regeneration for me and my husband and our marriage. Take us into the new level of growth and deeper love and committment which you have prepared for us. You are the strength of our lives, our hearts, our souls and our minds, which will lead, guide and keep us there, all with you. We are ready for this change for we have it in you, not just with each other, in Jesus's name, Amen.
Mocha, the reason you want to leave your husband is because the love you once felt for him is no longer there. And that love will never be there ever again. It can't, for it began it shed it's feathers, as the two of you grew and now your feathers are all anew with the ones God has given you. Just as the eagle sheds it's feathers, so do we, so does marriage, so does life.
Marriage cannot not sustain itsself upon 'old' love. It's has to grow or it will never survive.
Mocha, the new love awaits you and your husband. God has made 'all things' new for the two of you. It's your choice to discover it and receive it and rejoice in it. For this new love is a much better love, a much greater love, a much stronger and deeper love; it is love eternal. Forever and always, for the rest of your lives as the two of you promised one another on your wedding day.
Mocha, don't look for those 'old' feelings anymore; for they are gone forever. You are now in the Valley of Re-generation (new creation). This is a place where many, many couples make it or break it, for they think the marriage is over, when in truth, their marriage is only beginning, but this time, much stronger. The Valley is where the greener grass grows and flourishes, when we realize being there is worth it.
hugs and blessings precious sister
erplexed 
Please pray for me before I do something foolish that I will regret.
