Ladies i need to vent.....

****HUGS**** I'm going through a similar situation. I just cry too and ponder what I could have done diiferently. Everything happens for a reason(doesnt sound too good now). Give him space...dont call or text (very hard to do..TRUST ME). Maybe in a 2-4 weeks...give him a call. Men are just strange creatures. Dont beat yourself up too much.
 
Im sorry you are going through heart ache as well. I wont ever contact him again and i deleted his number out my phone, i just feel really betrayed and rejected right now. I opened myself up to love and now im feeling the pain.

Im turning 30 years old, and i want to meet a husband so bad.
 
First of all calm down. After break up most people feel like they will never find love again. But you will there are like what 7 billion people on this planet. You are bound to find someone! This is coming from someone who has NEVER had a serious relationship and I am 26 almost 27. imagine how I feel. Take my advice or not clearly I know nothing. lol
Chitowncutie81 said:
He called everyday about 10 times a day, and he paid me more attention than I have ever had.
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I had a guy I was dating do this, he was like a supernova, quickly lit and quickly snuffed out.

Chitowncutie81 said:
I was so happy that I ignored a lot of flaws in him…..he was very stubborn, would not compromise, everything had to be his way. He didn’t really seem to care about my opinions. When I would tell him a concern he would ignore me and would not respond.
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Please remember all these negatives when you are crying about him. I guarantee he isn't crying about you. Also read this thread http://www.longhaircareforum.com/showthread.php?t=141205

You didn’t think he’d change, did you? Too many women marry men expecting them to change and they don’t; too many men marry women expecting them not to change and they do. (Take a second to let that digest.) Or maybe you ignored them because you were too enamored with the thought of finally being with someone that you neglected to consider whether you were with the right one.
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Chitowncutie81 said:
I always had to drive to his house because he said he was too tired to pick me up…he lived 10 minutes away.
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This is so incredibly lame of him. You should not have dealt with this crap!

Chitowncutie81 said:
After he dumped me he still called for a few days, which gave me a glimmer of hope that he would take me back...He said that we shouldnt have arguments in a relationship that is ony 2.5 months.
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At the bolded, this sounds so desperate of you. STOP. I also think that 2.5 months in should still be the honeymoon phase. Next time you argue too soon with someone, maybe you should evaluate why you like them and if you two really are compatible.

Chitowncutie81 said:
How can I move on. I keep crying. Help me make sense of this situation.
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Try not to make sense of anything, you will never get the answers that you want. Learn how to find what YOU enjoy that does not have a penis. Chin up.:grin:
 
Honey this man did you a favor :yep: I know you're hurting, but you said yourself that you saw signs of selfishness in him. This was not the man for you. You will find someone who will respect you, honor you, and love you for you.

Don't feel like because you're 29 years old that it's too late for you to find a good man.
 
*hug* the pain is still fresh, is all. You will be fine. You just need time and to step back and focus on YOU and not a relationship, per se. When you focus on simply having a relationship, you tend to rush in with high expectations, do things you normally wouldn't do and end up hurt. Not good.
 
He put a lot of demands on me. He would get mad because I didn’t want to spend the night at his house, cook or clean for him…it was just too soon for that.
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He said that he was tired of arguing with me and that we are 2 different people….and that we moved to fast and needed to develop a friendship.
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He's full of crap. He says yall moved too soon but yet he still had demands of you playing wifey to him (i.e. cooking, cleaning etc.). Betcha $5 imaginary dollars that this conversation between the two of you wouldn't have happened if you would have been his doormat. Don't fall for the okie doke.
 
carcajada said:
He's full of crap. He says yall moved too soon but yet he still had demands of you playing wifey to him (i.e. cooking, cleaning etc.). Betcha $5 imaginary dollars that this conversation between the two of you wouldn't have happened if you would have been his doormat. Don't fall for the okie doke.
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Very true. I didn't really read that part. But....yeah. that's true. He realized he couldn't control you and figured he'd move on to easier prey.

Again, in time, you will be fine.
 
Chitowncutie81 said:
Im kinda ashamed at mysef now because i just accepted a lot of Bull$hit from this guy. The guys from my long term relationships treated me like a queen, but i lowered my standards to this. My life was perfectly fine before i met him. Im in school finishing a second masters degree.....But i got kinda lonely. I see people around me on facebook getting married, and i just wanted the same
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You had a moment where you slipped because you wanted something so bad and you settled for less. It happens sometimes. Don't beat yourself up, just be glad that it ended before you married this guy, had children by him and it situation got worse.

Once you get over the hurt, you're going to look back and ask yourself "What was I thinking?" "What did I see in this man?"

Be patient, and don't let the fact that you see others getting married make you lower your standards for someone that you know is not worthy of you.
 
Chitowncutie81 All that glitters ain't gold. You don't know what type of relationship is going on between your facebook friends and their marriages. Just focus on what you want for yourself.

I think you already realized your mistakes. There's no use in beating yourself up about it. You've experienced enough in life to know how to heal, deal, and move on. This was just another learning experience that almost got the best of you due to vulnerability. It happens like that sometimes.
 
~~HoneyComb~~ said:
You had a moment where you slipped because you wanted something so bad and you settled for less. It happens sometimes. Don't beat yourself up, just be glad that it ended before you married this guy, had children by him and it situation got worse.

Once you get over the hurt, you're going to look back and ask yourself "What was I thinking?" "What did I see in this man?"

Be patient, and don't let the fact that you see others getting married make you lower your standards for someone that you know is not worthy of you.
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Thank you, i promise i will get myself together. Im starting to see all the mistakes i just made in a short amount of time, and i feel stupid. But i hope the pain will go away in a few days or week. I almost failed my midterm exams dealing with this creep.
 
Don't beat yourself. People in general are weird. He did you a favor and one'd himself. I recently went through a bad separation and know the heartache you feel from recent experience.

You deserve a good man and he is already out there making his way to you. When you do get involved with another man, do not let the excitement throw you off course. Establish a friendship first and in the meantime do what you can to make YOUR life better. If that means finishing school, do that. If it means getting a better job or saving money, do it. There are tons of men out there that are praying for a woman like you. Good luck!
 
Learn from this situation. He sounds like an abusive man and is testing you to see if he can control you. He sounds manipultive emotionally. This does not sound good.


I know exactly how you feel about being in a relationship and wanting marriage. There is no harm in being choosy and waiting longer. It seems like he really only fits some qualities that you desire in a mate. I would advise for you to determine what you truly want in a mate and what you desire in terms of affection, communication and long term goals( child rearing etc) is he fitting the bill? Or is he only soothing your loneliness for right now? Really do some soul searching and stand for what you really want.

I wish you the best.

Sent from my T-Mobile myTouch 3G Slide using Long Hair Care Forum App
 
If you keep calling him, then you're annoying him. He keeps telling you that he doesn't want a relationship with you other than being friends, and to be perfectly honest, I don't know why you'd want to be friends with a man that is treating you this way.

You have to move on, you can't be his friend---you're setting yourself up for more hurt by trying to continue to be in his life when he doesn't really want you in it.

You gotta face it, this man didn't love you the way you think he did :nono:
 
I'm sorry that this happened but try treating it as a learning experience. He sounded arrogant and controlling but you put that aside, now you know what not to do when you meet the next one. It's either his way or the highway.

*hugs*
 
Chitowncutie81 said:
Thank you, i know that i cant be his friend. He lead me on and rejected me, and after i hung up the phone with him i believe i got the clousure that i needed...I needed to hear how mean he was and how much he didnt care. I just wanted to beieve that he was a great person that cared, but he didnt. I deleted his number and will not go back to retrieve it again. I love myself, so i wont contact him again. He only cared about himself and his wants.
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Good for you Chitowncutie for making the steps necessary to move on with your life and forget about him :hug3:
 
I'm so sorry you are in pain but this guy is not good for you period. What he said about you guys being different is obviously true. He wants way too much while he ain't givin up shiznizzle. You deserve much better than that loser user taker. You should consider yourself lucky he dumped you. Time will heal your wounds. Don't stop dating cuz of this fool either.
 
Glad to hear you're moving on. Focus on healing yourself and asking the hard questions: Why did I put up with this? What is it about me that may need to change? If you don't get that closure for yourself then you might repeat the situation.

You will find love and this wasn't it. Your heart still wants this and you're worried about turning 30 husband-less but don't let desperation decide for you and make you put up with behavior that is degrading. Any old relationship will not do.

Thank him for the favor he did you (not literally- don't call him!)tell yourself that you deserve much better and you'll get it.
 
There were lots of red flags in your relationship with him, but you ignored them because you were in love.

It's a learning experience that you don't have to repeat in the future.
 
You gave too much and he gave too little, period. And he is a jerk, you working on your 2nd master's but just because you are living at home, you aren't good enough? Whatever Negro, he can kiss my booty right now. Wouldn't pick you up, wanted sex, and wanted you to clean house, and y'all hadn't even been together 3 months? I know some don't like Steve Harvey, but next time don't give away the cookie too soon because it makes YOU become too invested and attached. Wait a few months (at least) next time, that rule there would rule out a lot of fools. Brush yourself off and KIM. He did not deserve you:nono:. And sit down ahead of time and decide what you want from a man. If he ignores important requests and makes no effort to work with you, he is not worth your time, no need to keep asking, just KIM.
 
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