southernchocolate
Well-Known Member
Ok. I have a friend that I've recently met. We've only been friends for a few months but from the first day we just clicked. Here is the situation (and yes this really is my friend's situation not mine 
) Let's call her Lisa. Lisa just recently broke up with her SO. She is hurt because she felt that she'd finally met the man that she was looking for (GS job, no children, nice guy and a man that wanted to start a family). There were a few issues that she just could not get past.
First he could rarely ever "perform". He told her that it was a testosterone issue and that before her it only happened every now and then. Also when he did perform, she said it was wiggity wiggity wack. Like his face pressed up against her's and one motion during the whole 10 minutes. I didn't want to laugh but that was funny. She also said that the only way that he could arrive is when he did it to himself. 
erplexed She looked passed but for her sex was that important.
Second he lied quite a bit. For her, one lie is one too many.
Third, she would catch him looking at other women right in front of her. Before she came to work her overseas, they lived in an area with a low black population. According to her, he loved black women and nothing else (he's biracial she's blk also). She noticed that whenever there was a another blk woman around, he would break his neck looking. She said that she didn't want to think anything of it at first but when your head is automatically turning in that direction EVERYTIME, she knew it was a problem. According to her it wasn't just a glare. It was a full on 5 to 10 second stare. I asked her was she just seeing things and she said no.
Fourth she would wake up in the middle of the night and catch him looking at other women on the internet. The desk was not too far from their bed so all she had to do was open her eyes and there he was. She said that she would fake a cough and as soon as he heard her he would minimize the screen.
Fifth, she said that he called her by another woman's name twice on two different occasions when he was introducing her to his coworkers. Same name (Ouch!!!) She wanted to let him know how it made her feel. His response was "What's the big deal. People call each other by other people's names all the time!!!"
Now me................at this point I'm like..................why in the hell were you still there. I'm not done.
What really did it for her were the times that she called home and he started arguments with her. Sadly I was around for the last argument and it was totally unnecessary. The argument was so stupid. I didn't even know this guy and I didn't like him. Your fiance is over in Afghanistan and you want to start arguments with her while you're at home dining out and scuba diving?? Bastard!!!
I asked what kept her with him. She said that when she was laid off, she moved in with him and didn't have to pay a dime with bills. He would help her buy little things here and there. He cooked her breakfast. He helped prepared her to come over here. And that she did love him. Honestly a combination of all of that crap would have been a dealbreaker for me but now she's second guessing herself because he's telling her that he's sorry for all of that and he'll work on everything................to give him another chance. What do you all think??
) Let's call her Lisa. Lisa just recently broke up with her SO. She is hurt because she felt that she'd finally met the man that she was looking for (GS job, no children, nice guy and a man that wanted to start a family). There were a few issues that she just could not get past. First he could rarely ever "perform". He told her that it was a testosterone issue and that before her it only happened every now and then. Also when he did perform, she said it was wiggity wiggity wack. Like his face pressed up against her's and one motion during the whole 10 minutes.
I didn't want to laugh but that was funny. She also said that the only way that he could arrive is when he did it to himself. erplexed She looked passed but for her sex was that important.Second he lied quite a bit. For her, one lie is one too many.
Third, she would catch him looking at other women right in front of her. Before she came to work her overseas, they lived in an area with a low black population. According to her, he loved black women and nothing else (he's biracial she's blk also). She noticed that whenever there was a another blk woman around, he would break his neck looking. She said that she didn't want to think anything of it at first but when your head is automatically turning in that direction EVERYTIME, she knew it was a problem. According to her it wasn't just a glare. It was a full on 5 to 10 second stare. I asked her was she just seeing things and she said no.
Fourth she would wake up in the middle of the night and catch him looking at other women on the internet. The desk was not too far from their bed so all she had to do was open her eyes and there he was. She said that she would fake a cough and as soon as he heard her he would minimize the screen.
Fifth, she said that he called her by another woman's name twice on two different occasions when he was introducing her to his coworkers. Same name (Ouch!!!) She wanted to let him know how it made her feel. His response was "What's the big deal. People call each other by other people's names all the time!!!"
Now me................at this point I'm like..................why in the hell were you still there. I'm not done.
What really did it for her were the times that she called home and he started arguments with her. Sadly I was around for the last argument and it was totally unnecessary. The argument was so stupid. I didn't even know this guy and I didn't like him. Your fiance is over in Afghanistan and you want to start arguments with her while you're at home dining out and scuba diving?? Bastard!!!
I asked what kept her with him. She said that when she was laid off, she moved in with him and didn't have to pay a dime with bills. He would help her buy little things here and there. He cooked her breakfast. He helped prepared her to come over here. And that she did love him. Honestly a combination of all of that crap would have been a dealbreaker for me but now she's second guessing herself because he's telling her that he's sorry for all of that and he'll work on everything................to give him another chance. What do you all think??
I hear what you're saying but honestly I don't think she used him. I felt as though she REALLY wanted her relationship to work. According to her she turned down two jobs for the sake of their relationship. One was in Kuwait and the other was in Fla. I saw the offer letters for both and the emails where she turned them down so I know she was telling the truth. Plus she was drawing unemployment. So she really didn't need him I guess. She wanted to work but he convinced her that Fla was such a bad place. He'd lived in Miami for 13 years. The job was in Clearwater. 
