keep coming back

[chebaby]

my very first boyfriend was my first everything. we broke up after 2 years and it's been five years since then. he always pops up after not hearing from him for a while. why? i have no idea. part of me thinks he still misses me and the other part says he loves to play games.
he just called and came by on the very day that would have been our 7 year anniversary. why?
he's the first guy i've ever loved and the first to break my heart.
the second guy to break my heart was just recently. i thought we were happy but he did a 360 and dissed me for his baby momma who he's now living with "but we not back together" he keeps saying. to top it off we see eachother every day and he keeps starring at me and he's constantly smiling at me.

why do they always leave me but stay so close?
does this happen to anyone else or am i the odd exception?

 

[Filmatic]

My ex was like that. He was my first love and I always let him come back. When I stopped he kept trying. I wanted to think that he came back because he missed me or because he regretted losing me. That wasn't true. He wanted to see how weak I would be and if I would take him back. He even let it slip once. He would come to me when he couldn't be with some other woman.

Stay strong and cut him off. If he was worth anything, you would still be with him. He is trying you. I don't care if you see him everyday, he is toxic. Ignore him.

 

[noemi]

They always keep coming back to me. Even when I repeatedly tell them no leave me alone. Nothing stops them. Its like they slow down but don't actually stop. Its like they do their dirt, find out the grass ain't so green, and then come back. I don't know why. I don't take them back. Not even under some type of special circumstance.

 

[cocoberry10]

It's the age old "I may not be with you, but I don't want anyone else to have you" syndrome.

DO NOT FALL FOR IT!

Men love the chase. Women, we must stop making it "convenient" for them to crawl in and out of our lives. It will only be much more difficult for you in the long run. If you can have a genuine friendship with these guys, then great, stay friends. But if you continue to have romantic feelings for one or more of these guys, I would distance myself from them until I could "get over these feelings." If you continue to have these feelings and stay in constant communication, it's like pouring salt or re-opening the wounds every time they come around. I think eventually, you will be okay seeing them, etc. But it sounds like there are still feelings or emotions there, so I would work on overcoming that before I would see them again! They probably want you to have feelings, so that's why they come back. It's like, some guys get a rise out of "knowing I could still have her, if I wanted to."

 

[Cloud06]

THis happens to me too. Fight the urge and stay strong to resist. Just say NO! Youll feel stronger in the end. I have to push ignore on my phone all the time! Pray for me!

 

[chellero]

You keep letting them stay close. Why not just cut these people out of your life completely? Don't answer their calls or the door when they come knocking.

 

[Connie]

You keep letting them stay close. Why not just cut these people out of your life completely? Don't answer their calls or the door when they come knocking.

OKAY?

I think I might just be a spiteful b**ch, because if a guy tells me he wants to move on I have no problems moving him the f*** on and losing his number and erasing his messages and letting him knock on my door even if he can see my car in the driveway (if I had a car and a driveway..LOL). If he pushes the issue, I'll tell him I had company and didn't want to be disturbed.

 

[chebaby]

You keep letting them stay close. Why not just cut these people out of your life completely? Don't answer their calls or the door when they come knocking.

well it depends.
i've had plenty lol, of guys leave me and i dont return their calls after that with no problem. but these two guys are different. the first guy i never stopped loving even after all these yrs. i know thats a long time but i honestly think he is my soul mate. i can live with us not being together just because im use to it now but the love never died. along with that love for him i care about him like i do my best friends and if he ever needs me i would never leave him to die.
the second guy i work with. we broke up last yr and just got back on speaking terms like three weeks ago. i never spoke to him, when he said hi i walked the other way but then i ended up in a situation where i thought i was going to die so i called him because life is too short. i'm not worried about us getting back together but i'm tired of being uncomfortable at my job. things are smooth now.

but the first guy.........i dont know what to do