Just when I thought I was out, They pull me back in- "Sex and the single black woman"

[Glib Gurl]

Re: Just when I thought I was out, They pull me back in- "Sex and the single black wo

Ever since the Obama's took office, the media has gone into overdrive bashing black women/relationships.

They are so afraid that we will recognize our own power, and overtake them.

Bluntly, nope...White America has little to fear on this account. However...

I've said this several times before, but here's a good place to repeat it!

Mrs. O, Susan Rice, Condi, Desiree Rogers, etc...are visual representatives of BW of a certain class/income (professional/educated/single/high power married/no-few kids)) that are being specifically targeted for marketing purposes. IOW, BW's money is now where it's at! To date, this group hasn't been particularly sought out in the past, for many reasons...racist and otherwise, BUT now they can't be ignored.

(For fun we can even put Nene and the "Housewives"/balla/celeb girl crowd in this convo too...they have $$$$$$$$$$$ and they spend it too.)

The existence of a previously untapped group w/ growing affluence, education, and disposable income is too good to pass up, esp. given BW's well known desire to be "seen" as opposed to "invisible". I have nothing against BW being specifically marketed to, on the contrary, but it's HOW it's being done that bugs me. (Y'all happy now? We're being seen alright! There's a thing about being careful what you ask for cuz you just might get it!) Be it the lonely BW meme (tons of books/tv/cosmetics/fashion), the "expand your options" crowd (see how many are NOW selling "Date a WM" books :scratchch ), OR the totem pole-bottom of the barrel meme...it's all about $$$$$$$$$

If BW feel "undesirable" they can go buy X products to make themselves feel/become more so...if they feel lonely, they can join online groups and go to expensive restaurants,...they can date/marry a non BW = more disposable income between them...if they are too fat they can spend at gyms-diet foods, etc...feel me now?

It really bothers me that so few BW make the connection between this "sudden" coverage in the mainstream media (it's been all over the Black media for decades) and the economic aspects of it. There's money to be made by someone or else they wouldn't bother. It saddens me that so many BW seem to take this stuff to heart too. Know when you're being hustled sistahs!

The fact that "The Ecomonist", of all rags, decided to jump on this bandwagon surely proves my theory MIGHT have some merit after all, if I may say so myself!

I actually think both of these theories fit together . . . they're marketing to us because it's clear we have mass purchasing power, but at the same time they're putting us down and attacking us because that's what marketing is all about - creating an insecurity that can only be remedied by some product (whether it be a magazine article or the latest beauty fix).

Just my $.02.

 

[jamaraa]

Re: Just when I thought I was out, They pull me back in- "Sex and the single black wo

I actually think both of these theories fit together . . . they're marketing to us because it's clear we have mass purchasing power, but at the same time they're putting us down and attacking us because that's what marketing is all about - creating an insecurity that can only be remedied by some product (whether it be a magazine article or the latest beauty fix).

Just my $.02.

Well they don't have to create this insecurity. It's already there. In fact, they are picking up on the memes that have been around in the BC for decades and putting them in the mass media. In short, we're handing them the stick to beat us over the head w/, but what's new? (Any music fans here? The blues comes to mind here...who's making the money off it now? )

This time Black folks, esp. BW, need to be careful of what hype we're buying AND fueling.

Of course, marketing is all about a "carrot-stick" approach, and it's done to all people of all backgrounds. Magic product will cure ya and all that jazz.

Do they fear us "over taking" them in a certain sense, yes...but mostly no.

 

[jamaraa]

Re: Just when I thought I was out, They pull me back in- "Sex and the single black wo

Where are these self-hating black men getting the idea that most non-bw want them? They talk all this smack about how non-bm don't want us, yet most non-bw don't want them.

Most bw don't even like non-bm--so the argument that 'other' men don't want us has no affect on the majority of bw. Those of us who do date out have options--contrary to what some self-hating black men think.

Other race women are more likely to have access to luxuries most black women can only dream of because of this.

So ask yourself this, why does an abuser tell his woman that she can't leave because nobody else wants her? If he knew for a fact that this was true, he'd have no reason to tell her.


He'd set her loose to find out for herself because he knows that once she finds this to be true, she'll be right back and more subservient than ever. He tells her this because he knows it is not true. He knows she can do better.
WE need to wake up and realize when others are projecting their insecurities on to us.

It's a mind game really. I'd think most BM know that most non BW ain't checkin' for them because it's pretty obvious that they ain't. If they were, there'd be far more BM w/ them then are. If anybody knows BW it's BM and they know what emotional buttons to push. They also know that most BW are very culturally isolated by how they were raised (after all, they grew up in the same environment) and simply don't know otherwise. BW assume it to be true because of their own hangups about their looks. Example, if you ask the average BW, she might believe that most- all rich BM are w/ non BW. This is false, but the perception works in BM favor. As I said, BM know BW and how to manipulate them too easily and too often.

I actually wonder if that's true (ie large #s of BW being not attracted to non BM)...I'm thinking that this may be true for many, but how much of that is a reaction to the idea that non BM are taboo and/or not attracted to BW? :scratchch: BW are getting this idea from somewhere and it ain't all from non BM either! After all, most BW aren't really socializing outside of mostly Black environments.

If most BM have any one advantage over most BW, it's that they are no where near as socially/culturally isolated as BW. In some ways, education and all that mean little if you are socially inept in a non Black environment as most people in the US/the West ain't Black. BM seem to have a far easier time going back and forth between "worlds"...they know this and use it as a weapon against BW. The stories are legion! More BW have to recognize and break out of this social/cultural isolation. Black men have nowhere near the amount of the so called "loyalty" a Black women seem to pride themselves on. That "loyalty" is killing off many women's chances for happiness, even w/ quality BM. The great irony here is that many of the so called "good Black men" tm want women that can function OUTSIDE of all Black environments.

Truthfully most BM aren't any real option from a non BW's standpoint. They can do better w/in their own group or w/ other minorities. Anyone that's familiar w/ non BW know fully well that most of them ain't checkin' for da brothers ...most wouldn't even consider it even for sexual purposes.. It's the rare non BW that's "nuthin' but a brotha" and those are the ones BM are usually w/ from my experiences. There are "average" WW/etc who are open are to BM (they usually get the wealthier ones ), but it's usually the ones w/ a major preference you see w/ your average BM.

I find it odd that sistahs think so many other women are checkin' for BM when half the time they don't want them themselves!!! If you as a woman don't like certain behaviors in men, why do you think other women will be like :woohoo: at the same behaviors?

 

[TrueBeliever]

Re: Just when I thought I was out, They pull me back in- "Sex and the single black wo

I actually wonder if that's true (ie large #s of BW being not attracted to non BM)...I'm thinking that this may be true for many, but how much of that is a reaction to the idea that non BM are taboo and/or not attracted to BW? :scratchch: BW are getting this idea from somewhere and it ain't all from non BM either! After all, most BW aren't really socializing outside of mostly Black environments.

I'm inclined to think it's a bit of both and incidentally it's vice versa for Wm too. If I think someone is not attracted to me that in turn makes them a little less attractive in my eyes.
But then again, most BW that I know do not know any WM other than on a professional basis. In America, people put up these racial barriers like 'oh, she's black then she's a no-go so I can't even get to know this chick even as a friend'.

 

[jamaraa]

Re: Just when I thought I was out, They pull me back in- "Sex and the single black wo

I'm inclined to think it's a bit of both and incidentally it's vice versa for Wm too. If I think someone is not attracted to me that in turn makes them a little less attractive in my eyes.
But then again, most BW that I know do not know any WM other than on a professional basis. In America, people put up these racial barriers like 'oh, she's black then she's a no-go so I can't even get to know this chick even as a friend'.

People put up racial barriers across all races it's sad, but it is what it is.

However, these barriers don't seem to stop BM on a social level tho. Part of the reason they more frequently date/marry out is that they socialize w/ non Blacks far more. If anything, BM face very vicious stereotypes given their gender, but for some reason they don't see this is something insurmountable. On this, they are right.

Maybe some BM don't doubt their universal appeal like some BW do, but many BM have positioned themselves to be sought out across the racial map. IOW, they know fully well that they have many more options than most BW and they exercise them. Can BW really complain about this legitimately if they are unwilling to leave their comfort zone?

 

[ambergirl]

Re: Just when I thought I was out, They pull me back in- "Sex and the single black wo

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I actually think both of these theories fit together . . . they're marketing to us because it's clear we have mass purchasing power, but at the same time they're putting us down and attacking us because that's what marketing is all about - creating an insecurity that can only be remedied by some product (whether it be a magazine article or the latest beauty fix).

Just my $.02.

Interesting discussion

But what tould they be trying to sell us other than hopelessness and despair? As a group we already drop mad duckets on clothes, beauty products, and HAIR I mean how much more market share are they going to get with articles like this?

I actually think it's more about perpetuating stereotypes of black women so as to remind us of our place in society (don't think you can have the life we have) then trying to sell us crap or fear that we'll take over.

 

[jamaraa]

Re: Just when I thought I was out, They pull me back in- "Sex and the single black wo

[


Interesting discussion

But what tould they be trying to sell us other than hopelessness and despair? As a group we already drop mad duckets on clothes, beauty products, and HAIR I mean how much more market share are they going to get with articles like this?

I actually think it's more about perpetuating stereotypes of black women so as to remind us of our place in society (don't think you can have the life we have) then trying to sell us crap or fear that we'll take over.

These stereotypes are nothing new. I mean, how many average people of any race is reading The Economist? Frankly it would be a waste of ink to tell BW of what their place in society is and/or you can't live as "they" do. The average BW needs no reminding of this....they see what's going on and know just how far they are from living the lifestyle of your average WP.

I don't disagree that White dominated society has some stake in the awful position that many BW face, they certainly gain in many ways from it, but I think these articles don't necessarily stem from that. They are deliberately targeting a specific SES of the BW population.