Just So Sad Right Now

[janiebaby]

Update for those who read the original thread: I don't know what happened with my mom. My phone was completely unuseable for 2 days. When I got a new phone some of my voicemails and texts transferred over. I saw a voicemail from my mom from new year's about 30mins after I had tried to call her. I don't know why I didn't get the missed call or the voicemail originally. I called her back and she picked up and we talked but I didn't mention what happened.

I also got a text from my friend asking me if I got texts and telling me that her phone isn't acting right.

Moral of the story: I guess I can overreact sometimes

 

[*Happily Me*]

I don't have any advice. I just want u know that I read your post and I want to give u a big e~hug.

Sent from my iPhone using LHCF

 

[kweenameena]

Ok, so I've only read the 1st paragraph about your mom (ADD kicked in) but I wanted to say: please have someone go to your mom's house to check on her, if you can't do it yourself. Just as a precaution, dear. (((hugs to you)))

 

[Funmiloves]

1) I agree with kweenameena Get someone to go check on you mum if you can't physically get to her house.

2) Regarding your friend, I think you are reading too much into it. I'm no familiar with the whole 'Block number' thing (I'm in the UK), but I'd suggest you call back in a few hours or in a day or so

All the best hun

 

[*CherryPie*]

The part about your mother not responding kind of scared me. You should really check on her...like now.

 

[janiebaby]

Thank you everyone

as for my mom....let me just say that I hate being manipulated absolutely positively hate it and find it difficult to tolerate. I will do what I feel is best.

 

[BrandNew]

Sorry I have no advice.. I can totally relate to putting more effort into relationships with other people than they put into their relationship with me.

This quote came to mind while reading your post "some people will try to convince you that their issues are your issues. Have the wisdom to know the difference". I think as long as you know that you genuinely haven't done anything against your mom and your friend then it's not about you, they have to work their issues out on their own.

 

[venusfly]

I'm sorry. It feels like the world is ending right now with your Mom and BFF acting out but things will work out. Take a deep breath and know that a week or month from now this will be just molehill not the mountain it seems at this moment. It will be ok.

 

[Le Papillon]

Big hugs! This is just a storm.... It shall pass. Try to focus on YOU and keep yourself busy doing things that make you happy. Also get someone to check on you're mom.

 

[LiftedUp]

 

[JewelleNY]

Hi janiebaby,

Sorry you are going through this with your mom and friend. Your story sounds a little familiar and I would recommend you check out codependency. Codependent people often feel the need to take care of others before themselves and often feel responsible for others' issues.

You have not written too much about your history with your mother but if she is on and off with her contact with you, there may be something going on with her. At the extreme of this, people who do this type of thing with those close to them may have either severe interpersonal issues or possibly borderline personality disorder. You may want to consider talking to a counselor or therapist about this, it seems this has been on your mind for some time now.

Feel free to PM me if you would like to talk more. I know it is difficult sharing with such a large group.

{{{{{{{janiebaby}}}}}}}

 

[Lucie]

I am sorry you are going through this. I hope your mom is safe and sound that is first and foremost. If she is just ignoring, know that she has the issue(s) not you. So many people think parents are perfect and mature and many are not. I know that for a fact.

As for your friend, I see it like this. You NEVER lose a friend. You ONLY find out who your TRUE ones are. I would give her benefit of the doubt for a while before I come to any rash conclusions.

Also, as a woman who had a rocky upbringing whatever was done to you in the past is in the PAST. Yes, it can affect how you form friendships, behaviors, et cetera. But your childhood is the SHORTEST part of your life. What you make of it or have been making of it, is all up to YOU now. I understand that your friend knows about your past but that does not mean she will make any concessions in how she treats you for it. Perhaps, this is a lesson for you to choose better friends and refine your process on who becomes your friend.

You seem like a sweet woman. I truly wish you all of the best and I do hope your mom is okay safety-wise. (((HUGS)))