Jealous Hairdressers

[brandy]

When I look at my hair today, I just wonder how long it would have been if a jealous hairdresser did not hack off 4 inches in April!!
I went to a hair salon that was raved about here in London only to come out 4 inches shorter with some insults too.

I had my hair relaxed by this woman whom I told to base my scalp because of its sensitivity. Did she listen to me? Hell no! She started ranting about how long she's been relaxing hair (20 years) and how she was an expert... I foolishly trusted this woman since she was the owner of the so called salon.

I did not only have a burnt scalp with underprocessed hair, I also had my hair abused by heat. She tried to get my hair looking straight by using a blow drier, and all sorts of heat appliances without using a heat protector. I offered her my silk and seal by Keracare but she refused. I did not want to create a scene to avoid looking stupid since she had all these posh looking clients there.

She started talking very loud so that every body could hear how I should look after my hair and not leave it for 4 months b/4 relaxing and other blah blah blah. I couldn't take the indirect insults anymore and just wanted to get out when she shouted that I needed to trim my hair every 6 weeks and since I had my last relaxer 4 months ago, that I needed a trim to take off split ends!
I made a great mistake and agreed to have a trim. I told her to trim only an inch off she agreed and started trimming only an inch off at the begining so I relaxed and stopped looking at what she was doing and engaged in a discussion with another client. You could guess what happened, that was an opportunity for her to wreck havoc on me. When I realised what she did I screamed at her and pushed her hands off my hair fuming. Her reply was "your hair was too long anyway and what do you need long hair for".


I hope to be brastrap hopefully in March 2006 if I do not experience anymore set-backs. I feel better now after letting you lovely ladies know what happened to me. Happy hair growing everyone.

 

[mscounselor]

What is it about us that doesn't want to make a scene when it comes to hair dressers? We will demand proper service anywhere else but the minute someone touches our hair, we tend to hold our tongue.
I empathize with you...although I didn't lose 4 inches, she might as well cut it off because my hair is damaged now because of someone like yours.
Its a learning experience....

 

[MissYocairis]

MsCounselor....that story really pisses me off. How dare that woman tell YOU how long your hair should be! And, I cannot believe she had the nerve to insult you and comment on your hair to other patrons and stylists right in front of you! Girl, I am not sure I would have made it out of there without things turning uglier.

Your story is precisely the reason I'd rather do my own touchups, styling, sets, everything! There is no way I am paying someone to ignore my preferences.

You didn't pay her did you?

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

When I realised what she did I screamed at her and pushed her hands off my hair fuming. Her reply was "your hair was too long anyway and what do you need long hair for".

OMG! How DARE that lady tell you your hair was "too long anyway"! What the heck?? Oh...like our hair shouldn't be long?? What kind of stupid reasoning is that? Don't even get me started...

I hate jealous people.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

Man oh Man....I'd be fuming!!! And i wonder the same question...what is it about hair salons that make us so afraid to speak our minds??? I am the same way....i am soooo scared and embarassed to specifically tell them my opinion of the techniques and type of products they use. I just dont get why?
I hope you didn't pay for your service...I think thats the only way they'll learn that when a customer says 1 inch...they mean 1 inch...because if you don't pay then it's hurting their pockets, otherwise they don't care what u say. I think it is a huge issue and very unprofessional that she agreed to the 1 inch and she took off 4 inches without letting u know. I would try to file a complaint with someone. I don't know why stylists think that just because they are giving u a new look (by hacking off inches of hair), that you will automatically be satisfied. Man, i simply don't let anyone cut my hair except ME!!

 

[brandy]

MsCounselor....that story really pisses me off. How dare that woman tell YOU how long your hair should be! And, I cannot believe she had the nerve to insult you and comment on your hair to other patrons and stylists right in front of you! Girl, I am not sure I would have made it out of there without things turning uglier.

Your story is precisely the reason I'd rather do my own touchups, styling, sets, everything! There is no way I am paying someone to ignore my preferences.

You didn't pay her did you?

I painfully paid her cos I did not want another scene where I would end up hitting her and end up having a criminal record for assault.

 

[UmSumayyah]

I learned my lesson but good. No one touches my hair but me.

 

[simplycee]

So sorry about your hair troubles. I know all stylists are not like this but I as far as I'm concerned the good ones are few and far between. I will say that I would have gotten up and walked when she refused to base my scalp. I had a run in with a stylist this past Feb where she gave me a no lye relaxer instead of the lye relaxer I requested. Yes I did walk out of the salon with a wet head (after she rinsed, neturalized). Good thing I lived 5 mins from the salon. And I didn't pay her either.

The progress I have made in my 18 months of healthy, hair growing was hard come by. If I'm paying for a service then the service has to be done correctly. I am a firm believer that people treat us how we let them. Let this be a learning experience for you and NEVER and I do mean NEVER stay in the chair while someone you are paying disrespects you. Her attititude alone would have caused me to bounce. Next time you will be able to speak up or get up cause you learned from this experience, right?

It'll be ok. Let's look at the positive... you 've got a great restart. Hopefully, your ends are in top condition now and its full speed ahead to bra strap.

 

[Porsche19]

That's why I don't go to hairdrssers.

If I tell them exactly what I want and they don't give it to me, I'm creating a scene.

Not some ghetto scene, but I'm definitely going to speak up.

If she didn't base my scalp after I asked her to, there would've been a problem. We wouldn't have even gotten past that part I would've probably just left if she wanted to argue about it.

The stylist is doing YOUR hair for YOU. She doesn't have any real say in how you choose to do your hair or how long your hair is. She can give advice, but you don't have to take it. If she isn't comfortable doing what she is asked to do, then she doesn't have to do it.

The nerve of some people.

My advice would be to get the hell out as soon as one thing goes wrong and doesn't look like it's going to be corrected... for the health of your hair.

 

[brandy]

Thanks ladies for your comments and advice. I have definitely learnt a lesson from this experience and would never be a victim to such again.

 

[greenidlady1]

Brandy,
How awful I know what it's like to see all your progress on the floor. How terrible not to be listened to. You know the condition of your hair better than anyone.
Is your scalp still burning? Please use an antibiotic if it is, because you don't want that problem on top of everything else. Here's hoping your hair grows back extra quickly!
Have you posted your experience on the salon review board? Maybe you can save another member from having her hair chopped off...

 

[brandy]

Brandy,
How awful I know what it's like to see all your progress on the floor. How terrible not to be listened to. You know the condition of your hair better than anyone.
Is your scalp still burning? Please use an antibiotic if it is, because you don't want that problem on top of everything else. Here's hoping your hair grows back extra quickly!
Have you posted your experience on the salon review board? Maybe you can save another member from having her hair chopped off...

Thanks greenidlady1.
Yeah that's a good idea posting the name of the salon in the salon review board to save others from this nasty experience.

 

[aileendq]

I learned my lesson but good. No one touches my hair but me.

I'm with you on this one! I was considering going to a lady that a friend of mine (who has similar hair as mine) but this made me re-think it.

I'll stretch until I can't do it anymore, then I'll have my Mom help me do the back.

Brandy, so sorry to hear about your experience! I would send a letter to a Better Business organization, or whatever equivalent you have in the UK. I would also CC the owner. I hope to God you didn't tip the crazy woman.

God bless.

 

[sylver2]

What is it about us that doesn't want to make a scene when it comes to hair dressers? We will demand proper service anywhere else but the minute someone touches our hair, we tend to hold our tongue.
I empathize with you...although I didn't lose 4 inches, she might as well cut it off because my hair is damaged now because of someone like yours.
Its a learning experience....

This is soo true
I use to go to this hairdresser every single week and every single week she would cut my hair. I asked her why she keeps cutting it, she said you have to, to keep it healthy, I said but every week. She said yes. I didn't say anything. So for almost a year I was going to this women, hair never grew past shoulders and she was relaxing it every 4 weeks, it felt kinda thin too, but I never said a word. So I told myself the next time I go in there I'm going to ask her not to cut my hair this week. I went in and sure enuf she brought out the scissors, I said, I don't think I want my hair cut this time, this lady got LOUD, and told me my hair needed it, it was damaged etc etc. Whole shop was looking at me. I let her cut it. Cried when I left and hubby gave me tounge lashing. He said u let her walk all over you and your hair isn't like it use to be, STOP going there..lol. So I never went back.

 

[misscrystal]

Can you imagine if you went to McDonalds and they handed you a Big Mac when you ordered a cheeseburger, saying "What do you need with such a little hamburger anyway?" Well that's exactly what that hairdresser did and I would have stormed out and NOT paid!

 

[WesternEyes]

Gosh. I can't believe some hairdressers. How do they stay in business? The last time i went to get my hair done, was ridiculous. The lady had no idea how to do my hair(or anyones hair for that matter) and she had my hair looking horrible. She tried to cut it(so she could get some extra money) but i told her no. She then said, "that's the problem, your hair needs a trim". I told her no again. I was so angry, paid her and left. And said, NEVER again.

 

[jasmin]

Unbelievable. I can't believe one finally admitted they have a problem with someone else who has long hair.

 

[sugaplum]

I learned my lesson but good. No one touches my hair but me.

I couldn't agree more UmSumayyah.

 

[tenderheaded]

We are entitled to get whatever we PAY for!!! Black hairdressers are the only ones who treat us like this. Even my dr. of 15 years listens to me. When I got my virgin relaxer in April the stylist actually got angry when I said no cut. She used that old trick "it's dry and will split up the shaft". I still said no cut. Then she started combing it out really hard - the comb was scraping my shoulders!!!

Thank goodness for LHCF. I now do my own relaxers and color, and not scalp burns either!!!!

 

[CaribbeanQueen]

This is sad... almost every black woman i know has a "hairdresser from hell" story. I have had relaxer dropped in my eye, 4 inches chopped off of my hair (even though it had been trimmed a month before), scalp burns etc.etc.etc..

On Wednesday I got my hair relaxed for the first time in 2 years because I was tired of crappy hairdresser. I made sure that she didnt trim more than a 1/2 inch off my ends. The overall experience was good but still I want to learn how to relax my hair myself.

 

[CandiceC]

I had to leave a stylist that I went to for four years because she was cutting on my hair too much. I'm going to a new stylist who I let trim my hair because I needed it. Next time I'm not getting a trim. I'll see how she responds.

I won't get to friendly or familiar with a stylist ever again. I just sit there and stay quiet while they work. I want them to wonder if I'm going to go off on them if they don't do as I wish.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Brandy, I'm sorry this happened to you. Like simplycee said, you've got a new starting place and you can bravely move forward to bra strap...plus you've learned an invalauble lesson for the future.
I had a similiar situation with a stylist. I told her that it was time for protein and she argued me down that it wasn't. Then she said, and I quote, "Too much protein can break your hair off. If you wanna complain, then you should do your hair at home." I promptly got up with Emergencee in hand and left. I haven't been back since.
Like the other ladies have said, when somebody starts to ACT like they might not wanna perform services as requested, in the words of Jay-Z, "just grab your Coach bag and get the %^#$ outta there"

 

[godzooki]

I'm sorry this happened to you! It's happened to me quite a few times. I hate to say it but I'm starting to get nervous around my current hairdresser the longer my hair gets because she keeps mentioning how my hair needs to be trimmed on a regular schedule and I don't need to have it too long and what would I do with super long hair. The last few times I was there she told me my hair was at the perfect length and like an idiot I got cajoled into "tiny trims" which left me at a stand still growth wise. My hair is thicker all around for it since it gave one problem section time to catch up but still I wonder where I would be if I'd stood my stance. I just got a touch up 2 wks ago and told her I did not want a trim since she'd trimmed it the last two times and there were no more shorter sections that needed to catch up. She seemed miffed. Maybe it was my imagination but there was another client there oohhing and ahhhing over my hair and I swear it seemed to make my stylist want to pick up the scissors even more! I love her work up until she tries to pick up the scissors. Why can't stylists be just as eager to see how far we can take our hair as we are?

On another note, my previous hairdresser whom it took an extreme amount of courage for me to up and leave after yrs of abuse and vicious, unrequested (she did'nt even bother asking and I'd be too frozen in horror and shock to stop her then run home to hubby in anger at my letting her) scissor whackings everytime my hair touched my shoulders somehow tracked down my number and called leaving a message on my phone asking me to come in since it's been a while. yeah! 2 yrs! 2 yrs and as a result I have hair finally growing down my back! I could'nt even bring myself to give a courtesty call back. I wish I could do my own touch ups and skip the stylists all together! They're worse than abusive men! Ya know your *** needs to up and leave but they do that mental crap on you and you're back again and again...

 

[Mahalialee4]

"REMOVE THE CHAINS FROM YOUR MINDS"...Marcus Garvey
WE MUST FREE.... OURSELVES...FROM MENTAL SLAVERY" Bob Marley

The shearing of ones hair is done to sheep and slaves....without permission and with a purpose. Abuse is heaped upon our HEADS...remember that. When this is done to a black woman...the purpose is to either prevent you from rightfully wearing a crown or removing one from your head....remember that...it is a form of mutilation....when someone takes a sharp instrument and violates your will...it has the same soul and spiritual implication as any other form of violation against your will and body. How do you feel when you walk out? Shamed, degraded, insulted...and robbed of something precious to you. The motive is often hatred over something you have...covetousness...jealousy and envy or just the intent TO SHOW YOU WHO IS BOSS! and to get and keep control over you... always remember that...stop submitting to the abuse..and stand your ground by leaving and not permitting them to go one step further in the abuse. Would you pay someone to strike you or violate you? Did you know that "scalping did not begin with the Indians? Did you know that Indians practiced "counting coup?" stealing an object of value while you were lying helpless and sleeping and when you woke up you realized they had come right into your camp and robbed you...It was to demoralize the enemy!!!!...aha....gotcha!!!!!
It is almost like a Dominatrix, Submissive mentality going on with some of these stylists.....and look how easily many just cave in and say..."yes Mistress!"



My comments may sound radical and over the top, but I really want us to get it!!!! Bonjour

 

[Millahdoowop]

Has anyone had a bad experience with a male hairdresser? I'm thinking about going back to one, even though he's all the way in l.a. But I don't think it'll matter because I won't be getting my hair done all that often.

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

ITA. I would have left the minute she decided not to base my scalp, that was the first red alert signal going off, Ladies I strongly advise that when seeing a stylist especially a new one let them know exactly what your looking for and what you want, because anytime a stylist just flat out tells you I know what I'm doing, in reality they really don't, and alot of us have come too long to have someone come along and savatage our hair.

MsCounselor....that story really pisses me off. How dare that woman tell YOU how long your hair should be! And, I cannot believe she had the nerve to insult you and comment on your hair to other patrons and stylists right in front of you! Girl, I am not sure I would have made it out of there without things turning uglier.

Your story is precisely the reason I'd rather do my own touchups, styling, sets, everything! There is no way I am paying someone to ignore my preferences.

You didn't pay her did you?

 

[bluediamond0829]

I havent too much heard bad things about male hairdressers i use to go to one for a little while he was good with doing short hair cuts...but just slow as a snail...but i think this experience and others stop alot of people from going to hair salons and this is reason why some people rather do their own hair at home...if i damage my hair i just blame myself for doing so..and then i told myself that if i ever get a good length to my hair that i would start going to a hairdresser to get my hair "trained" i think i read that in shamboosies book..so its hard to do a process of elimination of the good hairdressers and the bad ones...but i dont think anyone should tell you what to do and walk all over you just because theyve been doing hair for years that doesnot mean that the green eyed monster(jealousy) cant step in...

 

[sylver2]

I saw the stylist that kept my hair cut short. I have to go to the nail salon right next door and I try not to run into her. Well she past me and glanced quickly, then glanced agin and her mouth dropped wide open. I said umm, hi, how u doing. She said yeh I remeber u and just turned away..lol

 

[MzTami]

Like the other ladies have said, when somebody starts to ACT like they might not wanna perform services as requested, in the words of Jay-Z, "just grab your Coach bag and get the %^#$ outta there"

ROFL..I Agreee.

 

[MzTami]

I will only go to a hairdresser as a last result. The hair dresser that I use to go to a long time ago, couldn't make up her mind on what to charge me. One week, I would pay this, the next week, I was paying more for the same thing. I was like forget that no wonder she don't have prices listed anywhere or many customers, her prices are based on how she feels when she wakes up in the morning.