I've decided....I'm relaxing

Ms_Twana

Ms_Twana

New Member
Okay. I know that there are ladies that relaxed after being natural. I need you ladies to chime in here, please. I just can not handle the thickness and courseness of my hair in its natural state anymore. It just takes WAY too much to wash and style it, unless I do a ponytail all the time. I love twists and twistouts, and they became my staple; but they are too time consuming for me. So, if I'm not rocking the cute natural styles that I went natural for, why stay natural? I miss having straight flowing hair. But even straightening my natural hair is too time consuming for me, then it reverts. So, I have decided to just relax again. Plus, I have learned how to better care for my relaxed hair now, thanks to LHCF.

So, my questions to all of those that have relaxed after being natural are below:

Why did you relax?
How did you prepare your hair before you got the relaxer?
How have you maintained the health of ur hair (Regimen)?
Can u see progress since relaxing?
What relaxer did you use?
Do u think u will go back to being a natural?

If I think of more I will add them. TIA!!!

ETA: Keep in mind, I've was relaxed for most of my life. So I know my hair can handle the relaxer, it's just how I care for it that makes or breaks me.
 
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Have you thought about trying the BKT first? It may be a better option than to go down the relaxer route.
 
I haven't been natural since I was like 4 years old :ohwell: but I can answer some of your questions if you don't mind :)

To prep your hair before relaxing, it's always good to do a good proetien treatment. If you want more predictable results clarify a week or so before relaxing and don't use heavy products that will interfere with the relaxer processing. If you want to be more texlaxed, add oil to the relaxer to slow the processing down.

I maintain my hair by rollersetting. Since my hair is relaxed, I don't wanna cause any further damage by constantly using heat. Rollersetting gets my hair straight and bouncy. It's also softer than when I flatiron anyway, so it's the best option for me. I moisturize twice daily, in the morning and when I baggy at night. Baggying is my best friend :love2:

I also stretch my relaxers 12 or more weeks to avoid overlapping and overprocessing. I use Vitale Life & Body lye relaxer and love it. It's very gentle, no burning and no stinky "relaxer" smell. It almost has no scent at all. I really like that the second ingredient is aloe :yep:

I must advise you to really think hard about relaxing. There's no going back (unless of course you transition, but you know what I mean :lol: ) Make sure you have no doubts or fears in your head before taking the plunge :)

Hope I was of some help, sorry so long
 
You should PM Sparkling Flame. She'll be able to help you out.

I wish you much luck and I hope you get beautiful results!
 
I relaxed after about a year natural and I'm now transitioning back.

You have to find what works for you. :yep: If you've found the way you prefer your hair to be styled requires straight hair, this may help.

I would try BKT first, however or the Keratin Treatment available at Sephora.com and your local Ulta.

Remember, (thought I know you know this all to well having been natural far longer than I) all hair requires maintenance. I realized I just cannot come to terms with blow-drying and flat-ironing...and I'm good at it!

It just doesn't work with "me". Relaxed hair requires it's "pound of flesh" so to speak as natural hair does. It's a choice of which type of maintenance seems less like...well, maintenance. Neither one is an "escape".

I hope whatever you decide, you end up with exactly what you desire.

ITA with previous posters that suggested building up your hair with a couple intensive protein treatments, a great deal of deep conditioning and some oil treatment to prepare your scalp and hair and have all your new products in place and your relaxed regimen set before hand to make the transition as easy as possible.

I pray you have great success in your hair care goals whether relaxed or natural.
 
Cream Tee said:
Have you thought about trying the BKT first? It may be a better option than to go down the relaxer route.
Click to expand...

LittleGoldenLamb said:
I would try BKT first, however or the Keratin Treatment available at Sephora.com and your local Ulta.
Click to expand...

What is that?? Is that the Brazilian thing?? Isn't that super expensive?? I'm not tryna go broke to "test" whether or not I want a relaxer. :lachen:

tiffers said:
I maintain my hair by rollersetting. Since my hair is relaxed, I don't wanna cause any further damage by constantly using heat. Rollersetting gets my hair straight and bouncy. It's also softer than when I flatiron anyway, so it's the best option for me. I moisturize twice daily, in the morning and when I baggy at night. Baggying is my best friend :love2:
Click to expand...

Do you baggy after rollersets?? You must wear your hair in protective styles all the time?

tiffers said:
I must advise you to really think hard about relaxing. There's no going back (unless of course you transition, but you know what I mean :lol: ) Make sure you have no doubts or fears in your head before taking the plunge :)
Click to expand...

LittleGoldenLamb said:
Remember, (thought I know you know this all to well having been natural far longer than I) all hair requires maintenance. I realized I just cannot come to terms with blow-drying and flat-ironing...and I'm good at it!

It just doesn't work with "me". Relaxed hair requires it's "pound of flesh" so to speak as natural hair does. It's a choice of which type of maintenance seems less like...well, maintenance. Neither one is an "escape".
Click to expand...

Thanks for the advice ladies. When I was relaxed before, I dealt with a lot of breakage (which caused my hair to not retain length). This was due to not caring for my hair properly (moisture, protective styles, minimium heat). I'm not worried about my hair not handling the relaxer. I know some ladies choose not to relax because their hair can't handle it. That's not the case with me. I just needed to take proper care of it. So, I realize that it's going to take maintanence, just like natural hair. But as a relaxed head, maintanence will not require an hour of detangling with sore arms and cramps in my hands. :lachen:I think it would be easier for me to care for my hair, because I wouldn't have as much to deal with. I dread wash days now. So, essentially, I'm not washing and moisturizing my hair the way that I should because of that. If I don't feel like washing my hair while natural, I have to get over it because once it's a mess, it's a mess. If I don't feel like washing my hair while relaxed, I can just throw it in a ponytail.


LittleGoldenLamb said:
ITA with previous posters that suggested building up your hair with a couple intensive protein treatments, a great deal of deep conditioning and some oil treatment to prepare your scalp and hair and have all your new products in place and your relaxed regimen set before hand to make the transition as easy as possible.
Click to expand...

Sooooooo...........what would happen if I didn't do all of that!!! :look:

Ya'll seriously, I don't think I could take having to wash and deep condition and do protein treatments several times before the relaxer. :nono: :perplexed
 
I would say try BKT first. Expensive, but not so permanent. (I haven't been natural since I was very young, so I can't answer your other questions....sorry!)
 
hey girl! i've been natural for going on 7 years now. in the fall i was thinking about relaxing again but for now have decided against it. I got the mild brazilian chocolate tx in december and also started the ayurvedic regimen and honestly i haven't had any complaints so far as detangling or styling but i do support whatever u decide and im sure it will look fly!!!

like u said, u have the tools now to grow great and healthy hair no matter what!!! Good luck!
 
I have the same issues as you OP, only I NEVER where my natural hair out, so whats the point really? Please give updates asap! HHG!!!
 
You don't have to wear protective styles all the time as a relaxed head. I just do it cause I got goals, girl! :lol: After rollersetting, I sometimes wear it down for a day. Most of the time, I put it right back in a bun. I like the smoothness of my hair after rollersetting, and my hair is easier to manage than when I airdry. It's like my hair holds moisture better when I rollerset or something. Weird.

You don't have to do 50-11 protein and dc's before relaxing. I'd say two weeks before, do a protein treatment and one week before do a moisturizing dc. You might wanna spray some Infusium leave in on your hair daily for about a week to make sure it's as strong as possible. Of course this isn't mandatory and won't hurt anything if you don't do it. Just wanna take extra precautions ;)
 
Why did you relax? - I'd been natural all my life (18 years!) and needed something different.
How did you prepare your hair before you got the relaxer? - i dowsed it in silk amino acids and tried not to scratch!
How have you maintained the health of ur hair (Regimen)? - every other day cowashing and airdrying in buns pretty much.
Can u see progress since relaxing? - yup! Although I'm still learning my relaxed hair and it's been almost a year since I got my virgin relaxer.
What relaxer did you use? - started out with ors no-lye
Do u think u will go back to being a natural? - Definitely. Have to get the relaxing out of my system first, though!
 
I relaxed last summer after 2-3 years of natural hair and I've never regretted it once. My hair has grown out so healthy, in better shape than it's ever been and it's all due to that 2-3 year break from relaxers.

Why did you relax?
I just found my natural hair hard to handle and the texture was nothing close to what I expected. I found myself wearing protective styles all the time, just so I wouldn't have to deal with it. I just wasn't happy.

How did you prepare your hair before you got the relaxer?
I didn't. I just hopped my butt in the chair and told my stylist to go for it. She did a great job.

How have you maintained the health of ur hair (Regimen)?
Other than some minor breakage from extending my touchup for too long, I've had no problems. I've fallen right back into relaxed hair care. I've been wearing a wash n go with absolutely no heat, no color, nothing that might damage the growth I've had. My hair's growing out nicely.

Can u see progress since relaxing?
Yes! My hair has never been this long and healthy. I've got to update my photos.

What relaxer did you use?
She used Mizani No Lye. I usually prefer a lye relaxer but this worked well for me.

Do u think u will go back to being a natural?
Maybe someday if I feel like my hair's getting out of control again. That break from relaxers is what helped me turn the corner to really healthy hair.

Good luck to you, OP, whatever you decide.
 
Okay, I'm done with rehab. I'm on my way to go get my first hit (in almost 3 years) of some creamy crack!!!! :grin:
 
Go 'head Ms Twana! I know exactly how you feel. I was hating dealing with my natural hair, too. Since texlaxing my hair is so much easier to deal with.

I hope you LOVE your relaxed hair. :grin:
 
Maynnnnn, we coming back full circle cuz I remember your BC!

Why did you relax? I was losing wayyyyy too much progress to single strand knots


How did you prepare your hair before you got the relaxer? I spent about 3 months reading all the relaxer threads on this piece. super vs mild/regular, texlax vs relax, maintenence, etc.

I decided to texlax (texturize using a relaxer)

The week before the relaxer, I did an aphoghee treatment (the hard hair one). The night before the relaxer I based the hell out of my scalp with vaseline and went to a stylist that I'd prescreened to have it done.


How have you maintained the health of ur hair (Regimen)? I wore a puff when I was natural, I wear a bun now that I'm relaxed. I don't often get the urge to wear my hair down cuz it gets caught in everything. But when I do feel like wearing it down, I do.

regimen - wash twice a week, alternating between protein/moisturizing conditioner. More times than not I airdry in a ponytail. If I know I'll be wearing my hair down, I'll rollerset. Add a bit of leave-in daily. Occaisionally I'll baggy.

Can u see progress since relaxing? Yep - I see all my progress. I've been able to retain my length better since I no longer have a knotting problem.

What relaxer did you use? Affirm regular.

Do u think u will go back to being a natural? If ever I decide that I'm done with long hair and will be cool with no longer than a twa, then I'll return to natural hair.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I started out texlaxed so that I'd have a loosened curl pattern. At my last t/u, the stylist did a whole lotta smoothing and so I'm pretty much bone straight. I was pissed when I first discovered it, but after a few weeks I'm a convert.
 
Why did you relax? - I had transitioned to Natural after serious breakage and thoguh I loved my Natural curl I mainly wear my hair out and since I am a sweater my hair was always completely poofy or if not i constantly had a halfro... (half straight half fro)... My had gotten health again and I thoguht it was time.. (ps Im not relxe bone straight. I am telaxed

How did you prepare your hair before you got the relaxer? -I used the ladies advice and did a hard protein treatment. I used Aphogee 7 days before my relaxer and the next wash after. Those are the only 2 times I do a hardcore protein treatment unless im coloring.

How have you maintained the health of ur hair (Regimen)? - Now that my hair is more manageable I rollerset. I DC with oil (usually castor oil) and Aphogee 2 min reconstructor (only twice a month). I wrap at night and seal with LTR leave in and jojoba oil. I also bun once a week once a month

Can u see progress since relaxing? - Definitely. It is so much more easier for me to manage. I dont use heat half as much. and I dont cut out of frustration anymore

What relaxer did you use? - I used Affirm Moisure plus mild

Do u think u will go back to being a natural? - Eventually when I can meet my goal of MBL. at the time of being natural I wasnt full SL and I (in my opinion) couldnt make a decent ponytail or bun. I think once my hair is longer and more versatile I will def go back

I think your hair is gonna be amazing and though you may wanna try BKT first, if you relax... try telax first then get straighter gradually if you want less curl... Good Luck
 
SoOoNY said:
try telax first then get straighter gradually if you want less curl... Good Luck
Click to expand...

Thanks. I didn't think of that. I was debating whether or not I wanted her to process it completely.


Well, I got to the salon, and my stylist wasn't there yet. So I called her. How bout she forgot and I had to reschedule for tomorrow. So now I'm like, was that a sign?!?! :lachen:

So for those of you that are texlaxed, do you still have to use a lot of heat to straighten?? In another thread, someone suggested that I just relax bone straight because texlaxing requires more heat to straighten. So, using a lot of heat on top of the chemical would not be good. What do you think?
 
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Okay, my stylist uses Elasta QP. I just did a search and most ladies said they didn't like it because it didn't get their hair straight. When I went to her before, I do remember a time when my new growth didn't get straight.

So, now I'm like, do I have her use another relaxer so that my hair can get bone straight. Or do I let her use it so that I can have texlaxed hair?
 
Ms_Twana said:
Thanks. I didn't think of that. I was debating whether or not I wanted her to process it completely.


Well, I got to the salon, and my stylist wasn't there yet. So I called her. How bout she forgot and I had to reschedule for tomorrow. So now I'm like, was that a sign?!?! :lachen:

So for those of you that are texlaxed, do you still have to use a lot of heat to straighten?? In another thread, someone suggested that I just relax bone straight because texlaxing requires more heat to straighten. So, using a lot of heat on top of the chemical would not be good. What do you think?
Click to expand...


That was a sign of possibly 3 things... 1. YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT... 2. YOU HAD MORE TO LEARN... 3. YOU NEED A NEW HAIR DRESSER... Imma go with 2 & 3.

I dont use more heat... I have never been bone straight so I dont know but I love the versatility of being able to still have some curl and fullness... Its all about preferance
 
I still think you should give the BKT a whirl. It's what I would do if I were considering going back to relaxed. It seems to be the best of both worlds. It's also healthy for your hair since it is made up of the same components that hair is, from what I understand. It wouldn't be "practicing" for a relaxer as you stated, but rather an alternative way to have straight, easy to manage hair without the harshness of lye.

If I ever did go back to relaxing however, I would go with Phyto, which again, has been shown to be easier and healthier for the hair.
 
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SoOoNY said:
That was a sign of possibly 3 things... 1. YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT... 2. YOU HAD MORE TO LEARN... 3. YOU NEED A NEW HAIR DRESSER... Imma go with 2 & 3.

I dont use more heat... I have never been bone straight so I dont know but I love the versatility of being able to still have some curl and fullness... Its all about preferance
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:lachen::lachen::lachen:Girl, she's giving me a VIRGIN relaxer for $60, so I ain't trippin!!! She just lost her $10 tip though!!! LOL!!!

See, when I was relaxed, I like my hair bone straight and full with curls. When I got tired of it just being straight, I got some curls or layers. So, I already know that at some point, I'm gonna wanna do both. I plan to just wear my hair in a bun most of the time though. I have to retain all this length that I've gotten while I've been natural. :grin:

Morenita said:
I still think you should give the BKT a whirl. It's what I would do if I were considering going back to relaxed. It seems to be the best of both worlds. It's also healthy for your hair since it is made up of the same components that hair is, from what I understand. It wouldn't be "practicing" for a relaxer as you stated, but rather an alternative way to have straight, easy to manage hair without the harshness of lye.

If I ever did go back to relaxing however, I would go with Phyto, which again, has been shown to be easier and healthier for the hair.
Click to expand...

I'll do more research on BKT, because I don't know much about it. I may even order Phyto and have her use that. Are you texlaxed or natural??
 
SoOoNY said:
That was a sign of possibly 3 things... 1. YOU SHOULDN'T DO IT... 2. YOU HAD MORE TO LEARN... 3. YOU NEED A NEW HAIR DRESSER... Imma go with 2 & 3.

I dont use more heat... I have never been bone straight so I dont know but I love the versatility of being able to still have some curl and fullness... Its all about preferance
Click to expand...

I think I agree...
:look: :naughty:
 
I was natural from 2000 to January of this year.

Why did you relax? I texlaxed. I was bored with my natural hair. I had been thinking about texlaxing for 2 years, and I finally did it. Texlaxing my hair provided me with more options.

How did you prepare your hair before you got the relaxer? I used protein treatments for 2 weeks. I also used a protein treatment after I rinsed the relaxer and before I applied neutralizer.

How have you maintained the health of ur hair (Regimen)?
Con wash once a week or every 5 days, DC, protein treatment (a must because I have fine fragile hair), sometimes porosity control treatment. For leave-in, I use a combo of Aubrey's white Camelia hair conditioner and whatever oil I have on hand. I try to moisturize my hair everyday, but I am bad, oftentimes I forget.

For the first 4 weeks after I texlaxed, I did wash and go, and it was wonderful. I could never do that with my natural hair. I am 12 week post, and wash and go is no longer possible. So now, depending on my mood or the weather:

--I can flat iron my hair after letting it air dry in a bun. I have been wearing my hair down with zero manipulation, so I have not experienced breakage, and I think it's because I am using a protein treatment. It makes my hair strong.
--Or I can air dry it in 2 or 4 plaits/twists, then I wear a bun for the rest of the week.
--The other day, after washing my hair, i wore a puff, and i looked like I was totally natural. :drunk: I love texlaxing.

My new growth does not look much different than my texlaxed hair, and I will be stretching for 6 months.

Can u see progress since relaxing? I haven't lost any hair yet. lol. In fact, it seems that my hair is finally growing after stalling for a couple of years. I don't know if it's because my hair is not tangling so much at the ends, or because I am no longer stressing about my studies. Stress can make you lose hair.

What relaxer did you use? Silk Element Lye Relaxer, regular.

Do u think u will go back to being a natural? One day, I may get bored with texlaxed hair and go back to being natural. For me, never say never.
 
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Why did you relax?
I relaxed because of knots and it taking forever to straighten my hair. Plus straight styles didn't last as a natural
How did you prepare your hair before you got the relaxer?
I didn't really prep it but since i texlax i did put tons of conditioner on it before applying the relaxer
How have you maintained the health of ur hair (Regimen)?
I cowash a ton, wear buns, twist outs, wash n go's, etc. I flat iron my hair maybe once a month.
Can u see progress since relaxing?
Absolutely!
What relaxer did you use?
Silk Elements Mild
Do u think u will go back to being a natural?
I actually might because i miss my naps. And after i transition back to naps i'll likely relax again. I am too wishy washy with my hair :rolleyes:
 
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