I've cried my eyes out...now I'm moving on.

[Chaosbutterfly]

Bella, I'm really sorry that this happened to you.
And it's not your fault...the only thing you did that I wouldn't have was not to wait for your regular stylist to come back. You showed her how much to trim, and she deliberately ignored you and cut way more. As a stylist, she needs to be doing what the client asks. And if she wanted to cut more, she should have asked you first and gotten your okay, instead of just chopping away however she wanted. But your hair will grow back, and it'll be just as beautiful as before!

And NaturalDetroit, I feel like you're living in a dream world. I hope that it doesn't take an AA stylist lopping off 3 inches of your hair to wake you up out of it, either.
Nobody's saying that all AA stylists are incompetent, jealous, or evil. But I've done a fair bit of salon hopping (trying to find the perfect one), and I've witnessed AA stylists unnecessarily jacking up longer-haired BW. I've seen my own family members go to the salon with APL hair and come back just brushing SL. And when I come on LHCF, I'm seeing people posting about how they've had their hair brutalized by an AA stylist. These occurences are not coincidences, and they are precisely why I don't let AA stylists come at me with scissors. I won't say that it's always jealousy or hate on their parts...sometimes, it's just ignorance. But whatever the reason, the end result is the same: jacked up hair, tears, and curses upon the stylist's bloodline for generations to come.
So I will go to AA salons, but they are definitely not giving me a trim, unless I know and trust them absolutely. If that makes me racist, then okay. As far as I'm concerned, it's just me noticing a trend and acting accordingly. Common sense. *shrug*

 

[Bella_Atl]

I think its immature to assume that every black stylist "be hating on" your hair and texture just because of the experiences you've had with a few. No I dont think that there is a conspiracy for black stylist to cut off black women hair. I do believe that people have had bad experiences with INDIVIDUALS. I also know alot of people stop going to salons for MANY different reasons, one of the more popular is because of $$$. What I do believe is that there are horrible stylist in every demographic and across every color line, I dont believe that its just in AA salons. If you dont see this attitude of *all* black stylist are like this and *all* black stylist are like that as one that reflects social steretypes and colorism then thats your fault.

I do believe that we all have a responsibility to research and seek out highly skilled people to help care for things that we see as dear to us. I dont believe that the more highly skilled individuals dont look like me but then again maybe you guys have been to every black salon and had every black stylist do your hair and thats why you can group everyone in this negative self hating stereotype. So then by all means carry on, but dont say a word when other races do the same thing to blacks and believe stereotypes about YOU because of your skin color.

As for thinking that my colors are showing because i called your hair precious, if that makes you feel better then by all means believe it, but trust me when I say i wont lose sleep over you or your hair or even your views on long hair and black stylist. I was being sarcastic in tone but the easy way to deal with things is to say someone is hating on you or jealous of you when that could be the furthest thing from their mind. smh.

When you say your "colors" are showing it is meant to say you are being nasty or a tart. It's a Caribbean saying since I am Dominican..Yo veo sus colores... Literal translation: I see your colors. (Stop being nasty)

Maybe it got lost on you in translation since green is only ONE color.
You claim jealousy is the furthest thing on your mind but you insist on coming back to it.. so maybe green is your color..

 

[pearcey]

I feel your pain. 10/07, was the day I ,too, went to a different stylist, and paid dearly for it. A horrendous cut, that even after it was corrected still affected my hair. I big chopped. The moral of this story is I survived. You will too. ((((((hugs))))))) Unlike my mishap, at least one side of your hair isn't HALF the length of the other.

 

[jamaraa]

No Bella is it's not YOUR fault some stylist got scissor happy and hacked off 4 in (I didn't realize it was so much ) Of course, it'll grow back, but I'm tired of stories like yours being so frequent. This drama has happened to BOTH relaxed and natural heads and it's time it stops.

Being that you're natural, I don't know if that played a role (shrinkage). I'm really convinced that natural African textures, no matter how loose or tightly curled, are just a mystery for too many beauticians out there!

Nope, not all AA stylists are like this. Dontspeakdefeat is marvelous, but too bad she's in Florida! A sistah can't drive to the East Coast, Chitown, or Florida just to get her "huah did"!

 

[jamaraa]

Bella, I'm really sorry that this happened to you.
And it's not your fault...the only thing you did that I wouldn't have was not to wait for your regular stylist to come back. You showed her how much to trim, and she deliberately ignored you and cut way more. As a stylist, she needs to be doing what the client asks. And if she wanted to cut more, she should have asked you first and gotten your okay, instead of just chopping away however she wanted. But your hair will grow back, and it'll be just as beautiful as before!

And NaturalDetroit, I feel like you're living in a dream world. I hope that it doesn't take an AA stylist lopping off 3 inches of your hair to wake you up out of it, either.
Nobody's saying that all AA stylists are incompetent, jealous, or evil. But I've done a fair bit of salon hopping (trying to find the perfect one), and I've witnessed AA stylists unnecessarily jacking up longer-haired BW. I've seen my own family members go to the salon with APL hair and come back just brushing SL. And when I come on LHCF, I'm seeing people posting about how they've had their hair brutalized by an AA stylist. These occurences are not coincidences, and they are precisely why I don't let AA stylists come at me with scissors. I won't say that it's always jealousy or hate on their parts...sometimes, it's just ignorance. But whatever the reason, the end result is the same: jacked up hair, tears, and curses upon the stylist's bloodline for generations to come.
So I will go to AA salons, but they are definitely not giving me a trim, unless I know and trust them absolutely. If that makes me racist, then okay. As far as I'm concerned, it's just me noticing a trend and acting accordingly. Common sense. *shrug*

One of the great things about sites like ours is that we try to inform people of what's out there and how to deal w/ it. For naturals, they are always encouraged to never get anything like a "dusting" or a time w/ their hair in it's naural state given the nature of "shrinkage". They must straighten it bone straight or face losing far more hair than anyone might even anticipate. sad: The major dilemma here is do you trust the beautician to heat straighten it w/o damaging it? Even this is a fraught question. Many women do their own straightening too cuz they know fully well a sylist and delibrately sabotage them w/ heat.

So what about relaxed heads? Why are THEY getting hacked up w/o the shrinkage issue?

The amazing part is, so many women go in prepared to the best of their ability for something as basic as a "dusting" and STILL come out jacked. It's THIS part that's like ...something's afoot here. If I didn't know any better, I'd wonder if it were an unreasonable expectation that a BW can get her hair done w/o having some major trauma involved!

I'm sure some of this is plain ignorance/incompetance (cold comfort ) but it's really noticable that almost all of our longhairs who've gone to a new stylist have walked away at least 4 in shorter. Their REGULAR stylists were fine, but the new ones hack them up. I have a feeling that as more BW get lengths past APL, more of this will happen for reasons

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

Sorry was reading both posts by OP and posted in the wrong one...this post will got the other thread not this one...my bad ya'll...

 

[fatimablush]

Heavenly Touch Salon in Clarkston. All I wanted was a 1/4" trim. NOT a hair cut. I thought if I showed her what I wanted it would be fine. But once she cut into my hair all I could do was hope that if I didn't like the length that the cut itself would be ok and it would just grow out. I got BAD hair cut. It won't style and the front is even worse..

I literally know how you feel..this was done to me at the beginning of the month..my hair won't style either..i have to wear it slicked back..

Your hair looks heck of lot better than mine...hang in there your hair looks good.

 

[goodmorningruby]

Bella, I'm sorry you have to go through this and glad you're "moving on". Keep your head up. I'm a DIYer, not because I've experienced something like this, but because I know that nobody is better suited to do my hair than me at this point.

Racial/social constructs, personal experience/observations and all that aside, it is just unfortunate on its own that a person, any person, would deliberately ignore a specific, yet simple set of instructions provided by a paying customer. Even in the event that there was a misunderstanding, it is a professional's job to ensure the consumer is understood and they're satisfied as a result. It's hard to pass off these recurring salon mishaps as coincidence. Four inches is not a trim; it is a cut by most standards. If any number of inches, four, five, six, three, or even two is cut off and it's not what the customer wanted when the customer was very clear, there is some volitional BS on the stylist's part against the client's wishes, period. Don't tell me that when you go to beauty school they teach you that chopping off four inches is the standard trim.


Now as far as the whole "AA" stylist conspiracy theory , while I agree that it's not wise to generalize an entire demographic based on personal experiences, we can still observe trends. Yes, we know that there are dependable, professional stylists and incompetent, unrelenting stylists of all/different circumstances. Not everyone is good at what they do. And it's not very well thought-out to say that a factual growing number of women (AA) are simply paranoid and subscribe to notions of "colorism" because someone of their ethnicity jeopardized their hair. It happens often; it is a trend. From what I've read and gathered, that's the gist of what's being suggested in this thread---that it's an observable T-R-E-N-D, not an absolute. I doubt anybody here truly believes that all AA stylists are out to get them drawn from an impression that they're jealous, incompetent or for whatever other reasons, even if that's the case sometimes. And if they do, well then....

 

[kayte]

I did not read through all the posts but do NOT cut your beautiful hair..
do anything BUT that..it will grow and it is still lovely hair


We women who get our hair cut instead of the trim we requested
need to begin taking some serious action....this happens way too much..and the stylists know they can get away with it

 

[Bella_Atl]

Bella, I'm sorry you have to go through this and glad you're "moving on". Keep your head up. I'm a DIYer, not because I've experienced something like this, but because I know that nobody is better suited to do my hair than me at this point.

Racial/social constructs, personal experience/observations and all that aside, it is just unfortunate on its own that a person, any person, would deliberately ignore a specific, yet simple set of instructions provided by a paying customer. Even in the event that there was a misunderstanding, it is a professional's job to ensure the consumer is understood and they're satisfied as a result. It's hard to pass off these recurring salon mishaps as coincidence. Four inches is not a trim; it is a cut by most standards. If any number of inches, four, five, six, three, or even two is cut off and it's not what the customer wanted when the customer was very clear, there is some volitional BS on the stylist's part against the client's wishes, period. Don't tell me that when you go to beauty school they teach you that chopping off four inches is the standard trim.


Now as far as the whole "AA" stylist conspiracy theory , while I agree that it's not wise to generalize an entire demographic based on personal experiences, we can still observe trends. Yes, we know that there are dependable, professional stylists and incompetent, unrelenting stylists of all/different circumstances. Not everyone is good at what they do. And it's not very well thought-out to say that a factual growing number of women (AA) are simply paranoid and subscribe to notions of "colorism" because someone of their ethnicity jeopardized their hair. It happens often; it is a trend. From what I've read and gathered, that's the gist of what's being suggested in this thread---that it's an observable T-R-E-N-D, not an absolute. I doubt anybody here truly believes that all AA stylists are out to get them drawn from an impression that they're jealous, incompetent or for whatever other reasons, even if that's the case sometimes. And if they do, well then....

You hit the nail right on the head! And thank you guys VERY much for the support. I'm starting to settle into my new "haircut" lol! Once I get it evened up I'll feel even better.

 

[kayte]

Oh yeah that hefa did it on purpose. I'm sorry no more AA hair salons. And it's a shame too. At first I thought they (AA stylists) were just hating on the texture of my hair, because I'm a 3a/2. But since I've joined this board I think most (not all) AA stylist are jealous of ALL healthy long hair.

Caucasion hair salons love long healthy black hair! It's almost like they are amazed by it. And for them to have a black client with long beautiful hair glorifies them as talented stylists. My stylist/friend left her salon and now works in a "white" hair salon. She hated the drama. It's sad because I make it a point to support black businesses.

Never say never but I am saying it now: I WILL NEVER SET FOOT IN A AA HAIR SALON AGAIN!

You have you a right to go where you feel comfortable. Period.
It's your hair. your length... protect however as you feel is best

I'm sorry that your hair cut was jacked up but I hate to see you group all black people together in one big melting pot. We are the only people who do that to our own. If we have a bad experience with another AA we will completely stop going to AA owned businesses. Instead of realizing that our experiences are just that, our experiences and they dont reflect the experience that we may have with other AA businesses. You wont see Asian people, white people or ____ people saying that because they had a bad experience with a ______ (their own race) that they wont step foot in a _______ business again.

I hate hearing that mess from my own people and I see alot of that on this site. Every black stylist aint jealous because of your texture or length (thats such an immature way of thinking and it falls into colorism) how about YOU (you should never just jump into a chair out without researching a person) picked a bad stylist. How about that INDIVIDUAL stylist did not possess the skills needed to satisfy your needs? The responsibility falls on TWO set of shoulders (of course more so on the stylist) but you cant fully escape your part because you jumped into her chair instead of waiting for your normal stylist. Now you want to dog out a whole race of people in a particular category because of your experience with one (or a couple). Please believe that those sacred white salons have just as many inadequate white stylist as black owned salons with black stylist.... its across the board. Its an individual thing, NOT a race thing, its about that individuals training and skill level. Its up to you to do your research.

I completely agree 100 per cent w/this post ^^^
I don't think the poster was being mean or a hater....
she felt like we did ..sorry about your hair ...but
was also blunt in expressing her dislike of the targeting of AA's.......
but not of targeting......you..
which you did with her

you do not have to agree with her at all,tho
but woman to woman..I'm telling you right now
white stylists are not inherently any more enamored of our hair
than the AA, the Dominican,Asian the African,the gay guy,etc
and they've ALL done my hair

it.... is..... a.... roll.... of.... the..... dice
with any of those people to find a non sadistic caring professional
and THAT is the truth..jealously cruelty caring professialism cuts across
all race lines...one group does not have the corner of it

I can give many examples of white stylists that not only did not know what heck they were doing.... but also ultimately did not care

NOT a race thing, its about that individuals training and skill level. Its up to you to do your research

she's absolutely right.... color is a lie.....
and it is up to us..to do the homework...
consider re-reading this post?

because if we do not heed the excellent
advice...anyone of us could come back with jacked up
hair from a white or fill--in--the blank- stylist..
But I think,thank God as more stories about stylists surface
there's going to be MORE preventative measures taken

 

[KnottyGurl]

I'm sorry that happened to you, but try not give up. Maybe you can learn to be a DIYer so when your usual stylist isn't available, you can manage without her. Other than that, if you go to someone you don't know, just let them earn your trust by doing small jobs and working their way up, like start with rollersetting only for a while. Watch and see how they apply themselves when doing something that simple. Scissors and chemicals can be requested later down the road when you feel more comfortable and have built a relationship. I, personally, am 97% DIY unless I need some assistance with something I can't handle and even then I wait until the stylist I like is available.

I'm glad that you're feeling better about your hair.

 

[tomnikids3]

Hang in there sister, i think alot of us have been victim to lousy stylists and you will be ok and you hair will certaintly grow back. I admire your positivity about you health and family still being there. As far as the butt kicking u would like to give her, shes not worth it, she certaintly needs to be fired or at least demoted to shampoo girl till she can get some more training. But 2010 is right here and you will be fine. This forum will certainly be supporting you to getting you hair back to where it was.

 

[Miss Monae]

Glad you are moving on. Stay encouraged!

 

[Galadriel]

So sorry to hear about that ((big hug)). I remember my own crazy hair cut two years ago (which led me to LHCF). Witch cut my hair up to neck length and it was so uneven that I had to hide under weaves for five months before finally wearing my own hair in a decent style.

There is only one stylist I trust and currently go to, and the only reason why I trust her is because she does my mom's hair and my mom is a gorgeous and healthy BSL.

I'm glad that you're still up for the 2010 challenge, though!

 

[BostonMaria]

Bella, if anything you could probably use this setback to learn how to dust/trim your own hair. I've had 26 years of setbacks. Some were from my own mom LOL Other times it was self inflicted (those don't hurt as much), but I'd say 90% of my setback were from Dominican stylists with long beautiful hair. Now before you say anything, I'm 100% Dominican born and raised. I don't think these ladies were hating on me, especially since their hair was way nicer than mine. I just think they didn't give 2 sh***s about me or my hair. I was a dollar sign to them.

I won't even let my own mom cut my hair. Trust me, she asked me last week and I laughed so hard while I was saying no that you'd think I was crazy ahahaha I've learned that the only person I trust with my hair is myself. We shouldn't trust just anybody with our hair. Especially when it comes to a hair cut. I'm glad you joined the challenge and happy hair growing to you, prima.

 

[princessnad]

I think a lot of stylist don't respect the client's wishes. They feel like "artistes" and who are we to get in the way of their work?

With Dominican salons they sometimes don't respect your wishes of less heat and will go ahead and run that brush through *very roughly* while holding a blow dryer really close. With AA salons, sometimes they have no concept of what "1 inch" means and will cut however they see fit.

Of course for many of us the heat is the lesser of two evils because it is not guaranteed that you will immediately get heat damage. But with a bad and/or too aggressive cut, you will always be unhappy.

Either way, I don't see it as an AA issue when it comes to not following directions but there does seem to be an AA trend when it comes to hacking off too much. However, to say it is some sort of conspiracy or out of jealousy is making too many assumptions IMP.