It kind of irks me...

[Ms Lala]

I don't think relaxers are bad or the source of everyone's problems but they did not work for me. No matter what strength of relaxer was used on my hair or how much basing of the scalp was done it always impacted my skin and scalp negatively. I think it was an allergic reaction because I was previously diagnosed w/psoriasis and there are many things they my skin cannot tolerate. My hair was actually pretty healthy but my skin could not take it. I used to get horrible break outs and they went away very soon after I stopped relaxing. And I must add that my mother is a professional stylist and she did my relaxers for me and was always gentle as could be. I only had 1 bad experience w/a relaxer in terms of how it impacted my hair and I'm convinced that it was either old or my hair didn't like that brand.

 

[Daughter]

I hear what you're saying missbritt1986, but in my experience more women blame everything BUT the relaxer, as they would not consider not having straight hair. This is only my personal observation, however.

 

[missbritt1986]

I hear what you're saying missbritt1986, but in my experience more women blame everything BUT the relaxer, as they would not consider not having straight hair. This is only my personal observation, however.

Yikes, that's really sad. That did, however, just made me realize that I don't have straight hair & I relax. Is your hair supposed to be bone straight? Because mine definitely isn't. I can still rock a BAA if I wanted. And I still have a hard time detangling. Not as bad as when I was natural, but it's no picnic. Maybe I'm texlaxing & don't know it?

 

[*CherryPie*]

It sounds like you're texlaxed.

QUOTE=missbritt1986;9473122]Yikes, that's really sad. That did, however, just made me realize that I don't have straight hair & I relax. Is your hair supposed to be bone straight? Because mine definitely isn't. I can still rock a BAA if I wanted. And I still have a hard time detangling. Not as bad as when I was natural, but it's no picnic. Maybe I'm texlaxing & don't know it?[/QUOTE]

 

[PPGbubbles]

Even though I'm natural I don't think that relaxers are the bane of hair care. As many relaxed heads running around here with beautiful hair?

However, relaxers don't work for some people, even when used properly. Everyone with a bad relaxer experience didn't misuse relaxers. I can see how this line of thought could irk other people too.

I'm happier with my natural hair than I've ever been with relaxed hair. I'm happy that I went natural... but when I say these things, I'm just stating how I feel about my own hair and my own experiences. I have absolutely nothing against people who choose to relax their hair OR the relaxers themselves

Just not what I want to do right now and it's not the best thing for my hair/scalp/overall health.

I agree with the bolded and I am natural too. A lot of women who have bad relaxer experiences did not take proper care of their hair to begin with. BUT it is unfair to blame it all on them because even some professionals misue relaxers and do not teach their clients proper hair care between relaxers.

For me I see that a relaxer does not equal a death sentence for your hair (I used to think that B4 this board). Yes, the realaxing process does damage the strand but there are methods to maintain healty relaxed hair. The problem is some of the wonderfull methods on this board aren't known by the masses!

I see 50-11 threads about newbies who come and confess to having unhealthy realxed hair care practices and within months of being on this board their hair does a 360. So OP I understand your frustration but please realize that some people arent armed with the same knowledge you have.

My mother has irreversible damage done by a "licensed" professional who knew nothing about relaxed hair care

 

[topnotch1010]

I too notice this trend and I'm ITA with OP.

 

[Solitude]

Yikes, that's really sad. That did, however, just made me realize that I don't have straight hair & I relax. Is your hair supposed to be bone straight? Because mine definitely isn't. I can still rock a BAA if I wanted. And I still have a hard time detangling. Not as bad as when I was natural, but it's no picnic. Maybe I'm texlaxing & don't know it?

I just wanted to point out that pre-LHCF I didn't know that some people don't relax their hair all the way straight (bone straight). I always thought the goal was to get one's hair as straight as possible....

I only knew a few girls who, um, "texlaxed" or "texturized." I always thought they did it to pretend to have "mixed" hair....(yes, my views have changed)

I always tried to take pretty good care of my hair, but I realize now how ignorant I was about hair care pre-LHCF. I agree that sometimes it's the product, but mostly it's the user. I abused flat irons and curling irons and relaxed way too often. I only DC'd when I went to the salon, and I jerked through my hair with a blow-dryer and comb attachment, basically IGNORING the LITTLE HAIRS ALL OVER MY SHIRT AND THE BATHROOM SINK. I knew that wasn't normal, but never did I look at myself as the culprit. The only reason why my hair still looked nice was frequent trips to the good stylists, trimming off the damage often, and black rinses.

I'm thankful for the knowlege that I've gained and I try to share it, but most of the people around me who need the help are still in haircare denial, blaming a bad weave, or a bad perm, or a bad stylist....

 

[Eluv]

I agree, and I also wish I had found LHCF before going natural, so I could have known and used better hair care practices to see my hair full potential relaxed.

Well I'm 100% natural and I just love my hair too much now to turn back.

 

[sharifeh]

At first, I wanted to start my HHJ by transitioning but I didn't want to blame all of my hair problems on being relaxed. It hurts, because the relaxer + bad haircare practices made my hair go from waist length to barely shoulder length as a child, but of course I thought it was only the relaxer. But maybe it was...Anyway I have had thriving relaxed hair even before this board(thick, swang, decent length APL), I just could never get that loong length back. So far, I've only had waist length and beyond hair before I relaxed it when I was a kid. Now I'm trying for that again. Though I would like to transition someday, maybe. I also would like to see what length I can get to, relaxed. Besides, I love straight hair so much for me, call me what you will, but I do.

 

[nathansgirl1908]

When ladies blame chemical relaxers for their previous or current hair setbacks. A relaxer is obviously a strong chemical treatment that should be tested on a few strands first to see what your processing time should be. These chemicals are no joke. I've noticed that a lot of people who experience trouble with relaxers have either over processed, :burning: didn't use a base on scalp, relaxed their whole head every time (not just new growth), scratched, combed, washed their hair right before a relaxer, or the ultimate no no, slapped a relaxer in after getting braids taken out. Let's also not forget the ladies who have no business trying to self relax, but do so anyway & hope for the best (usually with the wrong strength. Not everyone can use SUPER), or simply DON'T need to relax their hair in the first place. Almost forgot bleaching or coloring hair & then relaxing, or letting that "salon professional" put her hands in your hair when you know better than to let just any old body mess with your head. Bye bye hair.
Now, I'm totally guilty of most (if not all) of these mistakes myself.
But I'd be pretty naive to think that it's all the relaxers fault. I think it makes us feel better to blame the Dark & Lovely rather than admit our own mistakes. Now that I'm more informed, my hair hair is healthy, strong, and relaxed. Same chemicals, but now I'm taking care of my hair like I should have been the whole time. Relaxing isn't for everybody, but I think a lot more ladies would have success with relaxers if they took the time to do it properly.

You're right. Relaxing isn't for everyone.
My relaxers were put in properly by trained professionals. I did not scratch, and I have never had color in my hair a day in my life. My scalp was based, and my stylist did not relax my whole head. The bottom line was that the relaxers were damaging my hair. They were thinning it out and wreaking havoc on my scalp.

 

[Bachelorette]

Thanks missbritt. Completely agree with your Post.

 

[jamaraa]

Too many people are too lazy to strand test from harvested hair. If you wanna know how something will work on YOUR hair, that's the answer...not going by what others say it does for THEIR hair.

It's a little too easy for it always to be the fault of something or somebody else.

 

[KynniB]

untrue. I treated my hair like gold when it was relaxed. Nothing but salon products touched my hair and I deep conditioned/reconstruCted my hair on the regular. Since I have extremely sensitive skin it always burned my scalp no matter how much I based it. then it would scab and my hair would break off in the scabbed area. I use the same practices for my natural hair and my hair and scalp are much healthier

 

[Br*nzeb*mbsh~ll]

........................................

 

[missbritt1986]

untrue. I treated my hair like gold when it was relaxed. Nothing but salon products touched my hair and I deep conditioned/reconstruCted my hair on the regular. Since I have extremely sensitive skin it always burned my scalp no matter how much I based it. then it would scab and my hair would break off in the scabbed area. I use the same practices for my natural hair and my hair and scalp are much healthier

I really hope this doesn't come off the wrong way but, why would you even think of relaxing in the first place if you have an extremely sensitive scalp/skin? I'm not surprised that it turned out so negatively. This goes back to what I said earlier about listening to your body/hair. You wouldn't use harsh soap on your skin, so why use a chemical treatment anywhere near your delicate scalp?

 

[BostonMaria]

Relaxers just didn't agree with me. I admit that I'm guilty of going to hair dressers that had no idea what they were doing. I can't even tell you if they over processed me because I wasn't paying attention. Looking back at old videos of myself today just makes me so glad I had that last set-back exactly 3 years ago today, which forced me to go natural.

 

[msMicaela]

When ladies blame chemical relaxers for their previous or current hair setbacks. A relaxer is obviously a strong chemical treatment that should be tested on a few strands first to see what your processing time should be. These chemicals are no joke. I've noticed that a lot of people who experience trouble with relaxers have either over processed, :burning: didn't use a base on scalp, relaxed their whole head every time (not just new growth), scratched, combed, washed their hair right before a relaxer, or the ultimate no no, slapped a relaxer in after getting braids taken out. Let's also not forget the ladies who have no business trying to self relax, but do so anyway & hope for the best (usually with the wrong strength. Not everyone can use SUPER), or simply DON'T need to relax their hair in the first place. Almost forgot bleaching or coloring hair & then relaxing, or letting that "salon professional" put her hands in your hair when you know better than to let just any old body mess with your head. Bye bye hair.
Now, I'm totally guilty of most (if not all) of these mistakes myself.
But I'd be pretty naive to think that it's all the relaxers fault. I think it makes us feel better to blame the Dark & Lovely rather than admit our own mistakes. Now that I'm more informed, my hair hair is healthy, strong, and relaxed. Same chemicals, but now I'm taking care of my hair like I should have been the whole time. Relaxing isn't for everybody, but I think a lot more ladies would have success with relaxers if they took the time to do it properly.

I think Its pretty closed minded and naive of YOU to suggest this... HOW is it suprising that relaxers just dont work on some peoples hair- PERIOD.

It is a chemical! If you alter the natural texture of the hair you were born with, your rolling the dice that your hair is strong enough to withstand the BREAKDOWN of the hair shaft... yes, breaking down the hair is what you are doing. sugar coat it all you want.

I see some beautiful results with relaxers, and thats great if your hair is strong enough combined with the correct application to withstand...but i think its foolish to think that those that just cant take a relaxer is doing something wrong-- like our hair was meant to be relaxed or something

 

[KynniB]

I really hope this doesn't come off the wrong way but, why would you even think of relaxing in the first place if you have an extremely sensitive scalp/skin? I'm not surprised that it turned out so negatively. This goes back to what I said earlier about listening to your body/hair. You wouldn't use harsh soap on your skin, so why use a chemical treatment anywhere near your delicate scalp?

this is when i first got my a relaxer. I was like 13 at the time. I didnt know anything about sensitive skin. I didnt know anything about how the relaxers work or what a strong chemical it is. Once i realized what was in a relaxer and what it does to my hair i didnt want it anywhere near my head.

 

[Southernbella.]

but i think its foolish to think that those that just cant take a relaxer is doing something wrong-- like our hair was meant to be relaxed or something

Hmmm...good point.

 

[Vintageglam]

I think this post is a little unfair as it ignores those for whom relaxers may not really be suited to. I have super fine hair which I have to baby all the time. Whilst texlaxing has made my hair more manageable I too have noticed that relaxers have contributed to the thinning of my hairline. Even adopting a no relax hairline policy has not worked because untimately when you wash out the relaxer some will migrate towards the hairline (if even briefly).

I have had my hair relaxed professionally for the last 3 years (strand tests and all) I have used Phyto, Mizani, and ORS and whilst they are all great products I find that they all eventually over time have sapped the strength out of my fine hair (something strand test could never have revealed). I have also comitted to bi-weekly steams and do not use heat on my hair. So in the end your genetics are your genetics and so everyones hair reacts differently.

In any case I am thinking of transitioning next year as I feel that I need to find other options for my fine 4a/b hair

 

[topnotch1010]

I think Its pretty closed minded and naive of YOU to suggest this... HOW is it suprising that relaxers just dont work on some peoples hair- PERIOD.

It is a chemical! If you alter the natural texture of the hair you were born with, your rolling the dice that your hair is strong enough to withstand the BREAKDOWN of the hair shaft... yes, breaking down the hair is what you are doing. sugar coat it all you want.

I see some beautiful results with relaxers, and thats great if your hair is strong enough combined with the correct application to withstand...but i think its foolish to think that those that just cant take a relaxer is doing something wrong-- like our hair was meant to be relaxed or something

I don't think you read her post correctly because just before the sentence you bolded she clearly stated that relaxers aren't for everone.

 

[TCatt86]

I agree with you, most times unhealthy hair is because of people abusing it and chemicals. Whether you be natural or relaxed, most people I see with chewed up hair aren't doing the "proper" things to it. I have a cousin that doesn't use conditioner AT ALL!!!! And she wonders why her hair is breaking, when I suggested she deep condition she looked at me like I was crazy. It wasn't the relaxer she was using that was drying her hair out, it was not putting moisture in it.

 

[TCatt86]

untrue. I treated my hair like gold when it was relaxed. Nothing but salon products touched my hair and I deep conditioned/reconstruCted my hair on the regular. Since I have extremely sensitive skin it always burned my scalp no matter how much I based it. then it would scab and my hair would break off in the scabbed area. I use the same practices for my natural hair and my hair and scalp are much healthier

That was my reason for stopping, but I will say though I had scalp woes, my hair was relatively healthy. If I could have withstood the chemical burns, my hair would have been healthy as a relaxed hair. But I was one of those no matter how I based my scalp whether it was with grease, oil, basing conditioner that relaxer would eat through it and burn me. I'm cringing thinking about it, excuse me y'all.

 

[msMicaela]

I don't think you read her post correctly because just before the sentence you bolded she clearly stated that relaxers aren't for everone.

then why is she irked?!

 

[pookaloo83]

Relaxers are irritating my scalp right now. That's why I'm transitioning back to natural. I permed again because I said natural hair was too difficult to take care of. But since being on the boards I think I have more knowledge on how to take care of it. Relaxers aren't for everyone. I have a bald spot on top of my head right now that I didn't have while I was natural. But everytime I get a perm that spot starts falling out again. My sisters whole head of hair fell out the last time she had a relaxer. I think the girls in my fam have a very sensitive scalp. I based my scalp all the time, sis too, but the relaxer is just not healthy for me.

 

[Embyra]

interesting thread op...

 

[jamaraa]

For those who CAN'T take a relaxer, they just can't. For many of them it's a scalp issue as opposed to a hair one. It is what it is. This is why you do strand/skin tested BEFORE you apply the chemicals...EACH TIME you are going to use it. After all, body chemistry is an issue here.

However most of the jacked relaxed heads, I suspect, can take relaxers and simply care for them improperly. After all, how many of these folks clearly do things to the hair that creates problems? If you put a ton of gel on your head and simply yanks it out w/ a comb...it's clearly something other than a scalp issue.

 

[jamaraa]

BTW folks, shampoos and conditioners (not to mention hair dyes) are FULL of chemicals. So even if you aren't using a relaxer, you can still have a chemical reaction. Let's not pretend that relaxers are the only chemicals people are exposing themselves to.

 

[bludaydreamr]

OP, I agree to a certain degree, for the most part relaxers aren't the problem, but the misuse of them.

For me I never had a "bad" relaxer to where I lost a lot of hair, or experienced serious chemical burns, but I saw that my edges were disappearing and declining condition of my hair over years of (so called taken care of it) allowing stylist to care for my hair. Four months into my transition my stylist asked if I wanted to relax, but the condition of my hair was the best it had been in 3-4 years. I also vowed no matter what it took, I would have edges when I was 40.

ETA: If I were to relax again, with all I have learned; I am confident that I would be able to maintain a healthy head of relaxed hair.

 

[bludaydreamr]

I hear what you're saying missbritt1986, but in my experience more women blame everything BUT the relaxer, as they would not consider not having straight hair. This is only my personal observation, however.

My BFF is this way. She has always had thin hair, over the years it has just gotten thinner. I was even more concerned when I realized that her mother is now completely bald(improper hair care techniques). I suggested to her instead of her relaxing every four weeks, and gluing a track in the back, to try growing her hair out, and getting it pressed. She made the comment "what would that look like?". The worst part is she is going to be bald before she realizes she needs to do something different.