"Is Your Husband Okay with You Cutting Your Hair?"
- Thread starter Supergirl
- Start date
Holla
Well-Known Member
Who are the people asking you this? Men?
When I was relaxed and BSL, random men on the street would tell me, "Don't cut your hair." WTF! Don't know me from Sheila but they felt comfortable enough to tell me that. Women rarely made that comment to me. They would compliment my hair and keep it moving.
When I was relaxed and BSL, random men on the street would tell me, "Don't cut your hair." WTF! Don't know me from Sheila but they felt comfortable enough to tell me that. Women rarely made that comment to me. They would compliment my hair and keep it moving.
okange76
Well-Known Member
It could be serious especially if it is a major part of what physically attracted him to you. Sometimes drastic physical changes can throw off the other partner and major conflict can arise. Just keep him in the loop and he eventually will get used to the idea especially if it makes you happy.
Holla
Well-Known Member
So if your husband was attracted to your sexy legs and for some reason they got amputated....I'm sorry but hair just seems so petty to me. Especially since so many men go balf or hair thins as they age. No one makes them ask for permission.
There is a difference between that which you can control and that which you have no control over.
Going bald naturally is one thing. Deciding to rock a platinum blonde mohawk is another.
Ravenhairedbeauty
Well-Known Member
I've BC'd 4 times in the past sometimes leaving myself with an inch of hair and even though I thought it looked cute and my husband agreed with me at the time, to be honest I think he lied. Now that I've grown my hair out we joke and he says if I BC again we gone sign them papers lol 
but in all honesty if he thought he had the power to tell me if I could cut my hair or not he would say no. But ultimately its up to me.
but in all honesty if he thought he had the power to tell me if I could cut my hair or not he would say no. But ultimately its up to me.
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BEAUTYU2U
Well-Known Member
There is a difference between that which you can control and that which you have no control over.
Going bald naturally is one thing. Deciding to rock a platinum blonde mohawk is another.
But cutting your hair shorter and rocking a platinum blonde mohawk is another too lol.
ElevatedEnergy
Rooted Yet Flowing
Speaking from experience: My hubby and I have been together over 12 years so he has watched me go through many hairstyles...chin length bob, Halle berry cut with the shaved back, color, long hair down my back etc. Through it all, he's never really expressed that much interest in any of it. (As long as I seem to like it) When I ask his opinion, his standard answer seems to be "It's as beautiful as you" So...#kanyeShrug. I guess it just depends on your relationship.
From things I've read on here it seems to be common for some to "consult" with their SO. I honestly cannot understand this. It makes no sense to me. It's MY hair not his and so what if he doesn't like it. If a hair cut "may" cause problems to arise in a marriage then I say the couple already had bigger problems before that.
Lilmama1011
Well-Known Member
I think ultimately its your decision, but I figure your man would be happy with you asking him how he feels about the change you are about to take. Ask him and if he says no and you still want to, cut it! at least he felt special for those couple of minutes lol
at least he felt special for those couple of minutes lol
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Lilmama1011
Well-Known Member
I just recently just went through something like this. I am always complaining about my thin ends and had the way the ends look in curl formers because it seems to make my ends stick out more and flexi rods don't and my sets look so fresh but my ends were hideous. So I told my SO i am about to chop it off to SL(my hair was a little passed APL so basically APL), he had a serious attitude. Like most men he loves long swinging hair which I don't even wear straight anyway, I always have curls and you can't tell my length. Needless to say, 2 nights later, his @ss was sleep and I cut some off and much happier with it, I didn't chop off to shoulder length, probably CBL now. He don't know a thing and probably won't even notice. He doesn't understand that you can have long hair and if it looks like crap to me, I rather chop it off and have short healthy hair any day, well at least to my chin(that's the shortest i want to go), and still don't know how my hair will look in my curl formers and hope i don't have to cut more, it looks ok though looking at it now...
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GroovyMama
Well-Known Member
My husband doesn't "let" me do anything, and I don't "let" him do anything. However, we do take each other's concerns into consideration. My husband prefers I don't cut my hair. I do take that into consideration, and weigh my decision. Right now I have no desire to cut it anyway, but if that time comes I'll have to weigh my decision. For example, I wanted to relax my hair, and my husband did not want me to because he thought it would break off. I took several months to weigh my decision. I believed my hair would be more manageable, and ultimately more healthy if I relaxed. I was beginning to resent my hair as it grew longer, because it was such a hassle. 8 weeks ago I relaxed. He wants to lock his hair back up, and I don't want him to. Last time he had locks he just did not maintain them at all. I told him I would be okay with him getting locks if he maintained the upkeep. He hasn't gotten them, but ultimately it's his decision. I wouldn't resent him if he did. It's his hair.
I don't think there is anything wrong with taking into consideration one's spouses view on your hair. My husband had opinions on my hair over the years and I took them into consideration. But, ultimately I made the decision best for me.
Heck, when he gets a haircut I will tell him sometimes that the barber cut it too low and too make sure the next time he leaves a little more.
However, ultimately the decision is yours.
Heck, when he gets a haircut I will tell him sometimes that the barber cut it too low and too make sure the next time he leaves a little more.
However, ultimately the decision is yours.
EnExitStageLeft
Well-Known Member
My SO preferred my bob, so if I cut it he'd jump for joy. He had a thang' for Kelly Rowland back in the day, so the shorter the better for him .
.Funny you should bring this up, Supergirl.
I was this close to cutting my hair off into a bob and getting a relaxer(made the appt, which was yesterday, and everything). I got the go ahead from everyone but Dh( and he was the last to know) Now usually he does not care about length. He has seen me with every hairstyle and hair length and he always said that I look good with short hair. Well, the last time I asked what he thought if I were to cut it and relaxed and he gave me the "talk". He was not having it
, especially since he was just getting use to my new long bushy lengths. So, I left it alone
. I think maybe on some uncousious level I knew he would stop me and I think on some deeper level, I wanted to be stopped.
Just to add, Dh isn't "crazy" about long hair, natural hair? YES!! But long hair? Meh. So if I were to cut is a bit, he wouldn't be as upset as if I were to relax it.
I was this close to cutting my hair off into a bob and getting a relaxer(made the appt, which was yesterday, and everything). I got the go ahead from everyone but Dh( and he was the last to know
) Now usually he does not care about length. He has seen me with every hairstyle and hair length and he always said that I look good with short hair. Well, the last time I asked what he thought if I were to cut it and relaxed and he gave me the "talk". He was not having it, especially since he was just getting use to my new long bushy lengths. So, I left it alone. I think maybe on some uncousious level I knew he would stop me and I think on some deeper level, I wanted to be stopped.Just to add, Dh isn't "crazy" about long hair, natural hair? YES!! But long hair? Meh. So if I were to cut is a bit, he wouldn't be as upset as if I were to relax it.
Saludable84
Better Late Than Ugly
My husband already expressed he would like my hair short. I just asked him "Would you like it if I cut my hair short?" He said "How Short?" I said "Like Yours!" He looked at me, was taken back and said "You would really do that?" I said "Hell no!" He said "Okay then!" It's not that hard.
Please excuse my iPhone; it's trying to get it together
Please excuse my iPhone; it's trying to get it together
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GreenBloodyShoe
Well-Known Member
Only If he's paying the bills.
Lilmama1011
Well-Known Member
Even then, you shouldn't feel you have to do what he wants or suggests unless you feel the same way
reeko43
Well-Known Member
Marriage is a partnership. If you don't give a darn about or don't want to take your spouses feelings into consideration, it is best to stay single. No one want a husband who would treat them that way.
My dh loved my hair and would pay to have it done. When I decided to go natural, I considered the fact that this was different for him and wouldn't like it. I took the time to explain why I was making a change and told him how important it was to have his support. He felt respected and gave me full support. I could have had the attitude of "I am going to do what I want and if you don't like it oh well". But my outcome was better and my dh loves my natural hair and brags about my transition to coworkers.
There are things I will compromise on like wearing braids with hair extensions which He hates. But he compromises too and does not make any big changes without consulting me as well.
There are reasons why so many divorce and a lot of it is because we don't consider and respect our spouses.
Sent from my SAMSUNG Galaxy Note 2
My dh loved my hair and would pay to have it done. When I decided to go natural, I considered the fact that this was different for him and wouldn't like it. I took the time to explain why I was making a change and told him how important it was to have his support. He felt respected and gave me full support. I could have had the attitude of "I am going to do what I want and if you don't like it oh well". But my outcome was better and my dh loves my natural hair and brags about my transition to coworkers.
There are things I will compromise on like wearing braids with hair extensions which He hates. But he compromises too and does not make any big changes without consulting me as well.
There are reasons why so many divorce and a lot of it is because we don't consider and respect our spouses.
Sent from my SAMSUNG Galaxy Note 2
TLC1020
Well-Known Member
My husband don't mind my hair being cut, however he prefer the salon do it and not me.lol .. When I bc'd in 2010 he though I was going thru postpardum depression as our daughter was 4 mths old. I had one of those Waiting to Exhale moments where I just went in the bathroom with hair and came back with little to no hair. The next time was a about a month or so ago where it was a decent length then I came out of the bathroom again but with a neck length hair. He would prefer me go to the "beauty salon" and get it cut versus me being a kitchen beautician on myself. lol
naija24
Well-Known Member
i'm not married (yet) but my bf would absolutely not be okay with me cutting my hair. we just started dating when I bc'ed and he nearly broke up with because my buzzcut was such a huge turnoff for him. he doesn't mind like Halle Barry pixie cuts as much but his minimum is like NL/SL hair, which is okay so I prefer that length as well.
I used to think it was super vain, but then I think about things I would hate for him to do, like get tattoos all over his face/body or gain 100 lbs in a year or something.
I used to think it was super vain, but then I think about things I would hate for him to do, like get tattoos all over his face/body or gain 100 lbs in a year or something.
I think it depends on the relationship you have with your significant other and your personalities. If I sit my spouse down to have a conversation on whether to cut my hair or not, he would think I am nuts.
If I am planning to cut my hair, he would know about it because I will be talking about it, doing research, selecting styles and getting his opinions on various styles. I would not seek his permission on whether to cut it or not and he would not expect it.
If I am planning to cut my hair, he would know about it because I will be talking about it, doing research, selecting styles and getting his opinions on various styles. I would not seek his permission on whether to cut it or not and he would not expect it.
Lilmama1011
Well-Known Member
It really does sound vain, because some would say if hair makes him go the other way then he isn't for you. But I understand, when he met you something reeled him in and then all of a sudden you get rid of it. Attraction does play a major role in a relationship. That's just like I don't care for my man to have hair. Sometimes we talk about it and he says he misses his hair like when he had it when he was younger and his hair would be so long but I told him for a man, I think cutting the hair is a sign of maturity, if he gets hair again I feel he is traveling backwards. I'm not going to want to do his hair and that means another expense and him getting his hair done every week. But honestly if he does decide to grow his hair i would just have to love with him looking like a teenage boy lol naija24
Ravenhairedbeauty
Well-Known Member
I've been married to DH for 10 yrs. with him for 11 and we have a great marriage we discuss everything, every little decision. Knowing what I know now and didn't know then, no I wouldn't cut my hair to an inch or fade or buzz cut it because he really likes to run his hands through my hair and play with it and he's proud of how much hair I got now opposed to a couple of yrs ago when I BC'd it. At the same time when I did BC it had a lot to do with my personal beliefs as a black woman that we need to stop trying to be what we are not and accept the hair we were given and at that time a train couldn't stop me from going natural. But anyway my statements are not meant to be offensive to anyone on the board who uses chemicals to treat their hair. I'm of the mindset now to do what makes you feel happy. My credo is live and let live. But my husband and I have now talked about it and he prefers me with the hair I have now, and I prefer him without a beard lol!
I agree with what you said but the situation you outlined above describes one in which you are letting your spouse know you WILL be doing something and you would like his support. Nowhere did I see you say you would ask his permission.
Honestly when I hear phrases like "would your husband LET you...?" I get confused and frankly, a little annoyed. I mean, seriously? Considering a spouse's feelings is understandable. But we are talking about HAIR! These are not life altering decisions. I personally just don't see the big deal. If not discussing personal decisions about your physical appearance with your spouse is what contributes to the divorce rate then I don't know what to say.
I would ASK my spouse if it is ok to spend our money on a new car. I would ASK my spouse if I could remodel our house. I would TELL my spouse I am cutting my hair, assure him that it would grow back if we both hate it and that would be that. But again, that's just me.
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