Is there a type of man...

[SvelteVelvet]

..that keeps eluding you?

I'm a light brown complexion. My dating history consists of men either my complexion or light bright or white. Just once can I get an Idris Elba or Lance Gross? Is that too much to ask? I almost get frustrated when I catch one of them on t.v. but then I can't keep my eyes off them. I sat through that awful Tyler Perry show today just so I could watch Lance for a half hour.

I almost had a chance with two in college. Both were football players and they were players off the field too so neither got past one date.

I'm thisclose to joining an online dating service strictly to find one to date. It may sound superficial but it's to the point where the type of guys I've dated in the past don't do a thing for me attraction-wise anymore.

Has anyone felt this way about a type? What did you do? Did you become more forward concerning that type even if it wasn't your usual style to approach men?

 

[BeautifulFlower]

Most men I date have been dark brown to dark skin. There not that hard to find.

Only type of man I've wanted to date more but havent is white men. I have a date with a white guy in a couple weeks. I had someone tell him I was interested and he took care of the rest.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

They aren't too prevalent in my area. Most of the ones I do come across are taken. Meanwhile I'm beating every other type of man off with a stick. An available dateable dark skinned man is a rare sight for me.

Oh and good for you for making the move!

Most men I date have been dark brown to dark skin. There not that hard to find.

Only type of man I've wanted to date more but havent is white men. I have a date with a white guy in a couple weeks. I had someone tell him I was interested and he took care of the rest.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Wow. This is an interesting problem...

Might I ask why the types you attract no longer interest you? Is it through heart break that's made you decide these "types" are not right. Could it be the person's interior more than exterior that is just not right for you...and you need another "type" of guy but more "internally" then externally?

Or is it really just a complexion issue?

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Wow. This is an interesting problem...

Might I ask why the types you attract no longer interest you? Is it through heart break that's made you decide these "types" are not right. Could it be the person's interior more than exterior that is just not right for you...and you need another "type" of guy but more "internally" then externally?

Or is it really just a complexion issue?

Why the types I attract no longer interest me is not a decision I came to but rather a phenomenon I've noticed with myself. Over the last year the types that I would have gone for in my earlier twenties have turned me off more than turned me on.

At the bolded, it's more of an attraction issue that involves complexion for me.

It's a bit hard to explain. As I've gotten older I'm definately looking more past the external into the internal as far as mate prospects go. But at the same time visual stimulation is still a factor. For a long while now the only men I see that make me think bad thoughts are the dark chocolate men..which I can't seem to find or catch.

Since you've asked and I've thought about it, I believe it has a lot to do with past failed relationships but it's like a been there done that feeling. Like I've had my fill. I'm on a Sanaa Lathan "Something New" in reverse.

 

[SvelteVelvet]

Let me just also put out there that I know that the internal qualities of a man trumps the external and good and bad men come in all complexions and I'm not going to pass up a good quality man if he isn't dark-skinned. This topic isn't all that deep. It's strictly about physical attraction.

 

[Renewed1]

I'm the same as Prettyface. Dark skin men are all over the place in Chicago.

Good for you, Prettyface on the date.

Most men I date have been dark brown to dark skin. There not that hard to find.

Only type of man I've wanted to date more but havent is white men. I have a date with a white guy in a couple weeks. I had someone tell him I was interested and he took care of the rest.

 

[luckiestdestiny]

Why the types I attract no longer interest me is not a decision I came to but rather a phenomenon I've noticed with myself. Over the last year the types that I would have gone for in my earlier twenties have turned me off more than turned me on.

At the bolded, it's more of an attraction issue that involves complexion for me.

It's a bit hard to explain. As I've gotten older I'm definately looking more past the external into the internal as far as mate prospects go. But at the same time visual stimulation is still a factor. For a long while now the only men I see that make me think bad thoughts are the dark chocolate men..which I can't seem to find or catch.

Since you've asked and I've thought about it, I believe it has a lot to do with past failed relationships but it's like a been there done that feeling. Like I've had my fill. I'm on a Sanaa Lathan "Something New" in reverse.

I guess this is what I was thinking about. Like you start to associate the complexion with the type of man because you've had problems in the past (etc). The reason I asked is I did something based on physical in the beginning (when I was very young). I wanted tall men who were really light or really dark (the opposite of my dad who is brown and short and a jerk...I wanted a guy NOT like my dad.). But I found I still attracted the same person "internally" until I realized it wasn't the package but the type of man. Glad I got over that my fh is average height and dark skinned. If I was sticking to my 6'2 requirement I would've never met him and he is such a wonderful person.

STILL....if it is truly just attraction that's another thing. You like what you like right?

 

[SvelteVelvet]

I guess this is what I was thinking about. Like you start to associate the complexion with the type of man because you've had problems in the past (etc). The reason I asked is I did something based on physical in the beginning (when I was very young). I wanted tall men who were really light or really dark (the opposite of my dad who is brown and short and a jerk...I wanted a guy NOT like my dad.). But I found I still attracted the same person "internally" until I realized it wasn't the package but the type of man. Glad I got over that my fh is average height and dark skinned. If I was sticking to my 6'2 requirement I would've never met him and he is such a wonderful person.

STILL....if it is truly just attraction that's another thing. You like what you like right?

I totally get you on the opposite of my dad thing! Funny thing is, that one significant relationship that I had that ended up being a real doozy had all the physical stuff that was opposite of my dad, but internally they ended up being soooo similar it was scary. I was like, WTF?

My type has broadened much like you, living and learning, but on the attraction tip, yes..I like what I like. I've just gotta make sure I don't fall into the same trap I did in the past though with the physical. Gotta keep the internal stuff at the forefront with everybody. I'm confident I will. I almost don't know how to operate without looking past the exterior due to my past experiences.

ETA: Congrats on your fh!

 

[SvelteVelvet]

^^It looks like I should add Chicago and the D.C. metropolitan area to my travel plans since you all have dark skin men to spare.

 

[nique3]

OP this is a good post. It's funny because I'm a a brown skin girl and I only attract guys lighter than me (Caramel, Light skin, and white), but not to many dark skin brotha's approach me. I wish they would because I love all colors. I wonder why that is???? Maybe it an thing where opposites attract???

 

[BGT]

Anyone I find attractive.

 

[ArrrBeee]

..that keeps eluding you?

I'm a light brown complexion. My dating history consists of men either my complexion or light bright or white. Just once can I get an Idris Elba or Lance Gross? Is that too much to ask? I almost get frustrated when I catch one of them on t.v. but then I can't keep my eyes off them. I sat through that awful Tyler Perry show today just so I could watch Lance for a half hour.

I almost had a chance with two in college. Both were football players and they were players off the field too so neither got past one date.

I'm thisclose to joining an online dating service strictly to find one to date. It may sound superficial but it's to the point where the type of guys I've dated in the past don't do a thing for me attraction-wise anymore.

Has anyone felt this way about a type? What did you do? Did you become more forward concerning that type even if it wasn't your usual style to approach men?

Yes. A rich one.

 

[YasashiiSekai]

I don't have a skin preference, i like all shades of men as long as they look attractive to me, but I think where you live might have something to do with it because I've noticed in my area most men like certain shades over others which is crazy, but it's kind of obvious.

i think i need to move. erplexed

 

[EccentricRed]

I love all shades of men. I am about as bright as they come as far as black people go...but rarely do lightskin men approach me. Most of my friends say I have a thing for brown to darkskinned dudes, but that's not the case! It's just who approaches me!

When I was younger white dudes would approach,that has changed as well.