Is It Too Soon To Want Out of My Relationship??

[Cincysweetie]

First let me start off by saying that I don't do relationships and it's been by choice. They scare me ever since my first boyfriend broke my heart. I have had 3 "boyfriends" (I hate that term) my entire life (including the one now) and I'm 24. The previous two have been relatively short relationships (months as opposed to years) and I've ended both. I have been single since the winter of 2006 and that has been my choice up until recently. I met a guy last April that I really fell hard for and we became close and it was the first time in the past year and half that I wanted to settled down and was actually interested in being in an exclusive relationship. I thought that our relationship was heading that way, come to find out he had some skeletons in his closet that I just could not deal with (I posted about it).

Anyway, there was another guy that I had met over the summer and we re-connected after me and the other guy went our seperate ways, and after some back and forth about where our relationship was going HE decided he wanted to be exclusive. I wasn't sure what I wanted, maybe because I'm still a little damaged from the previous relationship, but I went along with it I think mainly because I for once had been relationship focused (just not with him). We came to this decision LESS than a WEEK ago...and to say things have been rocky would be an understatement.

Now I don't know what to do. I don't know if I'm having doubts or maybe he's having doubts or maybe we're both having doubts. Or maybe because this is all so foreign to me I'm looking into it way too much. I can't stop thinking about the other guy and it's not so much that I want to be with him over the guy I'm with now, it's more that I don't FEEL nearly as strongly about my current SO as I did my previous SO. Is it too early to get out of this relationship? Am I just running away from problems? Is it too soon to have problems? And questions that you all can't answer but that I keep asking myself...why am I having such a hard time calling him my boyfriend? Why do I kinda not even care what happens? Why do I keep thinking that it might be a relief to just end things? Why am I so afraid of relationships and will I ever get over it?!

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Cincy, it's OK not to be ready. You know how to be on your own {since 2006}. Use your alone time to CALL IN THE ONE. You've seen/read that thread?

 

[bravenewgirl87]

You an I are in the same position. I will find EVERYthing wrong with a guy before I settle down. Go figure! But, if you are not ready then you are not. When it was right for me, I jumped the gun and went for it. Same story with you because you did manage to fall in love with someone. Don't lose hope.

 

[frizzy]

Be true to yourself and follow your heart. It is never too early to end a relationship if you don't want to be in it. Don't compromise your feelings, please yourself, not him.

 

[Spongie Bloom]

i think it wud be better to end it now than 5 months later when something has actually begun happening for you or the guy, right now u r in the beginnings of a relationship so it wud be easier to change ur mind

 

[Cincysweetie]

Thanks ladies for all of your responses. I appreciate you all taking the time to read my thread and deal with my issues, lol.

I have not read the calling in the one thread. I guess I should check it out.

I think I did jump the gun and go for it...and he happened to be the one that was there. He seems safe b/c I know I'm not as emotionally invested with him as I was with the other guy.

Anyway, I get the sense that he's not really feeling this either...although it was HIM who suggested taking our relationship to the next level. I think I may try to bring up the issue and see how things go from there. Thanks again for all the input.