Is it too much?

LovingLady

LovingLady

Well-Known Member
An interesting discussion was brought up and I would honestly like to know how you feel on this issue, please feel free to respond.

Do you feel that Christians place too much of an importance on marriage.

For me personally, I don't think so. I have only been to one church that highlighted it, and that was for one day. The most that I hear from church members is find a Christian spouse and call it a day. To me it seems like once you find a man (or a man find a woman) no one tells you how to keep a godly marriage, and no one prays for you about your marriage if conflict arises. We learn how to do everything else successfully, why can't we learn how to properly have a godly marriage, or pray for one another when they need help in this area.
 
I think so. In fact I don't feel like my reading of the Bible has led to an interpretation that marriage SHOULD be given such emphasis. When it is given that kind of emphasis, God is lost somewhere in the mix.


There is a local church here and the pastor did an entire series on relationships and marriage. It seems like more of the seminars offered by the church are discussing marriage in some form or fashion. it is overkill.

I wish more churches would just be like find a Christian spouse and keep it moving.

However, I feel that the emphasis comes about because women are becoming too pressed about getting married. Ministers see this and they want to please the congregation so they start highlighting it.

And as I said in the other thread, I get tired of women saying they want to be "blessed to be a wife so they can give glory to God with their marriage." If this is true, then that is great, but most of them know they are trying to fool themselves and God. Their desire to be married has nothing to do with glorifying God. If they want to glorify God, there are many ways to do it besides marriage.

Also, in placing such emphasis on marriage, Christians don't address how hearts become divided in marriage leaving little room for God. That's one reason I'm not interested in marriage right now. I want my whole heart to be for God.
 
what is going on in the other thread is an attack on marriage.. i see it daily with my Christian friends a hedge to protect. this is something the devil attacks.

I would be no less passionate if in my spirit that YHWH has led a call to battle for children, our country, and other things. I would be JUST as passionate.THis is NOT an exclusionary thing...... this is something YHWH himself has put in MY SPIRIT and other HE'S CALLED TO LEAD. THIS AIN' T ABOUT ME, MY DESIRE FOR A HUSBAND, OR ANY OTHR MOTIVE. THis is about answering the call that YHWH has placed on my heart and other women who's had this call. WHICH IS WHY i don't understand why people have issues with it? if YHWH calls you to intercede IN SOMETHING ELSE. by ALL MEANS DO SO. I would never question it or disagree with it. I would have given you the courtesy of PMING you in PRIVATE seeking understanding. NOT blasting AND DIVERTING the purpose of a thread because you disagree with it?
DOESN'T make any SENSE to me!
 
luthiengirlie said:
what is going on in the other thread is an attack on marriage.. i see it daily with my Christian friends a hedge to protect. this is something the devil attacks.

I would be no less passionate if in my spirit that YHWH has led a call to battle for children, our country, and other things. I would be JUST as passionate.THis is NOT an exclusionary thing...... this is something YHWH himself has put in MY SPIRIT and other HE'S CALLED TO LEAD. THIS AIN' T ABOUT ME, MY DESIRE FOR A HUSBAND, OR ANY OTHR MOTIVE. THis is about answering the call that YHWH has placed on my heart and other women who's had this call. WHICH IS WHY i don't understand why people have issues with it? if YHWH calls you to intercede IN SOMETHING ELSE. by ALL MEANS DO SO. I would never question it or disagree with it. I would have given you the courtesy of PMING you in PRIVATE seeking understanding. NOT blasting AND DIVERTING the purpose of a thread because you disagree with it?
DOESN'T make any SENSE to me!
Click to expand...

which thread has an attack on marriage?
 
I think that discussing marriage can be to much if an individual gets to the point where they spend more time praying for or discussing getting husbands than for the poor, than salvation for others, finding ways to please God, etc etc. Or it becomes a problem when people are willing to compromise what God standards are to have a relationship.

On the other hand: marriage is exceedingly important. You will be united to that person for life. And I have seen how devastating it can be when a christian is yoked to someone who is not a strong christian or a non-believer. It has disastrous effects on the children and on the christian's ministry and relationship with God. Marriage should be highly discussed on the pulpit and amongst believers, and I do buy the whole "it will bring glory to God arguement." It really does dbring him so much glory. HOWEVER....

I think it is the individual's responsibility to check their hearts. We are to be likeminded about the things God cares about. Can I be honest? If someone where to post a prayer thread for marriage vs. a prayer thread about homelessness, which one do you think will get more of a response?
 
when you guys were posting in the thread that I ORIGINATED. this was an intercessory thread. this had no other purpose. I understand that you guys had questions and you felt that this was not in your spirit to pray. NO issue with that. but i admit the way you guys went about it was extraordinarily RUDE and disrespectful. You made it seem like you were NEGATING what we were trying to put forth. EVEN IF you DON'T agree, or you think it's silly to focus on then KEEP IT MOVING. If you have questions PM the OP. Now the thread is diverted. i am NOT usually this blunt and straightforward but honestly I'M truly offended...HONESTLY. that is how i feel about it.
 
At the bolded, thank you Lord for the marriage ministry at churches.. and the people gifted to speak on relationships. EVERYTHING that we experience in life -- good or bad -- is the result of some "relationship" with someone. Lights got cut off?? Well, a lack of communication with the good folks at the electric company caused that. :)


So NO, it's never too much, talking about relationships.


Abdijz said:
An interesting discussion was brought up and I would honestly like to know how you feel on this issue, please feel free to respond.

Do you feel that Christians place too much of an importance on marriage.

For me personally, I don't think so. I have only been to one church that highlighted it, and that was for one day. The most that I hear from church members is find a Christian spouse and call it a day. To me it seems like once you find a man (or a man find a woman) no one tells you how to keep a godly marriage, and no one prays for you about your marriage if conflict arises. We learn how to do everything else successfully, why can't we learn how to properly have a godly marriage, or pray for one another when they need help in this area.
Click to expand...
 
luthiengirlie said:
when you guys were posting in the thread that I ORIGINATED. this was an intercessory thread. this had no other purpose. I understand that you guys had questions and you felt that this was not in your spirit to pray. NO issue with that. but i admit the way you guys went about it was extraordinarily RUDE and disrespectful. You made it seem like you were NEGATING what we were trying to put forth. EVEN IF you DON'T agree, or you think it's silly to focus on then KEEP IT MOVING. If you have questions PM the OP. Now the thread is diverted. i am NOT usually this blunt and straightforward but honestly I'M truly offended...HONESTLY. that is how i feel about it.
Click to expand...

That was not an attack on marriage. And to be truthful, that's just the kind of thing I am talking about. Everything is not an attack on marriage. That certainly wasn't and it is baffling as to why someone would see it as so.

I'm sorry if you are feeling sensitive on the issue of marriage, but you should not be offended when people want to have discussion. And if you want people to join you in your prayer, you should be willing to make it clear to them what they are praying for. I don't pray blindly and I know there are others who don't as well.
 
I don't see anything wrong with the thread. You know where your heart and motives reside and if you feel lead to pray for marriages you should do so. Praying for the success of christian marriages will always be in God's will. I think those with opposing arguments brought up a good point in general, but you know what your heart was for that thread so I would continue if you feel God is leading.

luthiengirlie said:
when you guys were posting in the thread that I ORIGINATED. this was an intercessory thread. this had no other purpose. I understand that you guys had questions and you felt that this was not in your spirit to pray. NO issue with that. but i admit the way you guys went about it was extraordinarily RUDE and disrespectful. You made it seem like you were NEGATING what we were trying to put forth. EVEN IF you DON'T agree, or you think it's silly to focus on then KEEP IT MOVING. If you have questions PM the OP. Now the thread is diverted. i am NOT usually this blunt and straightforward but honestly I'M truly offended...HONESTLY. that is how i feel about it.
Click to expand...
 
this is not the way this opinion was stated. This was an offshoot of a discussion that other people had. If that question was HONESTLY asked in that way.. I would have had NO ISSUE explaining. I have no issue with discussion about why I'm explaining what I desire to pray for and other people desire to pray for. but they way ya'll went about it was honestly very rude. HONESTLY. It';s not the discussion or the sensitivity that i have with marraige that's the problem. I realize not everyone will have a consenseous on marriage or agree with me. THAT IS FINE. but I do have issue with how people bring across THIER issues with it.
 
Then, that thread wasn't for you or the others...that's all this means.

I don't see how someone posting a prayer thread is forcing anyone to pray?




nathansgirl1908 said:
That was not an attack on marriage. And to be truthful, that's just the kind of thing I am talking about. Everything is not an attack on marriage. That certainly wasn't and it is baffling as to why someone would see it as so.

I'm sorry if you are feeling sensitive on the issue of marriage, but you should not be offended when people want to have discussion. And if you want people to join you in your prayer, you should be willing to make it clear to them what they are praying for. I don't pray blindly and I know there are others who don't as well.
Click to expand...
 
Laela said:
Then, that thread wasn't for you or the others...that's all this means.

I don't see how someone posting a prayer thread is forcing anyone to pray?
Click to expand...

No, it means that she wasn't clear. I was not the only one who was confused.


I remember a thread started by someone about praying for people in other countries that were experiencing war (or something along those lines). She was very clear about what we were praying about and she provided insight into what problems were going on that we could pray about. When we come boldly to the throne, we must also be specific and clear when possible.

And no one said it was forcing anyone to pray. But people wanted to perhaps join in.
 
This is how I feel:

I think it is exceedingly important to pray and discuss Christian marriage. A lot of the Christian community is based on the "traditional family" with marriage being at the center ideally. Marriage is a wonderful thing. I also agree that the world does not really value marriage, and that many Christian communities are not seriously viewing marriage as a picture of Christ and His Church. I am sorry for diverting that thread.

BUT, the way I sometimes see people in the Christian Forum fret over marriage makes it seem like marriage is some kind of Holy Sacrament that MUST be performed as a religious duty. Almost like marriage is a prerequisite for salvation. Unlike other Abrahamic religions, it is NOT imperative for Christians to get married. Our very founder, Jesus Christ, who left us an example of how to live, wasn't even married.

I think the problem is that many Christians, especially Christian women, feel that they HAVE to get married. It is because society/family drill it into our heads since we are born. Women are always told that without a man romantically in our lives, we are nothing. I feel that people should discuss Godly Christian marriages as well as provide lifestyle advice on how to serve God as a single person for life without becoming a monk or a nun.
 
let me make my points clear.
1. we are interceeding for the current Christian marriages that are under attack in a variety of ways
2. We are interceeding for husbands to truly understand thier role because they are our first line of defense in many ways.

3. We are interceeding for the CHILDREN of those marriages so that thier parents can represent to them a part of YHWH'S LOVE.

4. We are interceeding against the enemy who wants to destory marriage by adultery, strife, conflict.

5. we are interceeding for women that are single... to lose themselves in YHWH and if Adonai desires to bring them a mate that they are spiritually, emotionally, mentally prepared and the men heed the call to be leaders and to hfollow the stirring in thier heart to obey YHWH and if so called to find a wife and not play around...

6., we are interceeding against the statistics that bring fear and drive women to settle for less than HIS best whether that is singlehood or marriage.

7. we are interceeding against those who try to slyly speak against YHWH's Word against how marriage should be sought
 
SND411 said:
This is how I feel:

I think it is exceedingly important to pray and discuss Christian marriage. A lot of the Christian community is based on the "traditional family" with marriage being at the center ideally. Marriage is a wonderful thing. I also agree that the world does not really value marriage, and that many Christian communities are not seriously viewing marriage as a picture of Christ and His Church. I am sorry for diverting that thread.

BUT, the way I sometimes see people in the Christian Forum fret over marriage makes it seem like marriage is some kind of Holy Sacrament that MUST be performed as a religious duty. Almost like marriage is a prerequisite for salvation. Unlike other Abrahamic religions, it is NOT imperative for Christians to get married. Our very founder, Jesus Christ, who left us an example of how to live, wasn't even married.

I think the problem is that many Christians, especially Christian women, feel that they HAVE to get married. It is because society/family drill it into our heads since we are born. Women are always told that without a man romantically in our lives, we are nothing. I feel that people should discuss Godly Christian marriages as well as provide lifestyle advice on how to serve God as a single person for life without becoming a monk or a nun.
Click to expand...

Well said. Especially the part in bold. I actually raised this point once and I thought I would be stoned. Then people start "comforting" me telling me my husband was "on the way."

1. I didn't raise the point because deep down I feel like I won't get married. I raised it because it is a legitimate issue that should be discussed and appreciated.
2. I hate when people say, "your husband is on the way," as if he's just stopped off at a store or something or they know "where" he is. lol
 
luthiengirlie said:
let me make my points clear.
1. we are interceeding for the current Christian marriages that are under attack in a variety of ways
2. We are interceeding for husbands to truly understand thier role because they are our first line of defense in many ways.

3. We are interceeding for the CHILDREN of those marriages so that thier parents can represent to them a part of YHWH'S LOVE.

4. We are interceeding against the enemy who wants to destory marriage by adultery, strife, conflict.

5. we are interceeding for women that are single... to lose themselves in YHWH and if Adonai desires to bring them a mate that they are spiritually, emotionally, mentally prepared and the men heed the call to be leaders and to hfollow the stirring in thier heart to obey YHWH and if so called to find a wife and not play around...

6., we are interceeding against the statistics that bring fear and drive women to settle for less than HIS best whether that is singlehood or marriage.

7. we are interceeding against those who try to slyly speak against YHWH's Word against how marriage should be sought
Click to expand...

I agree with all of your points and forgive me for diverting your thread. All of those seven areas desperately need prayer.
I guess what I said in the other thread was a response to observing almost half of all threads in the Christian Forum always related someway to marriage.
 
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nathansgirl1908 said:
Well said. Especially the part in bold. I actually raised this point once and I thought I would be stoned. Then people start "comforting" me telling me my husband was "on the way."

1. I didn't raise the point because deep down I feel like I won't get married. I raised it because it is a legitimate issue that should be discussed and appreciated.
2. I hate when people say, "your husband is on the way," as if he's just stopped off at a store or something or they know "where" he is. lol
Click to expand...

I get this response each time I state I want to remain single for life. It is as if people cannot fathom a Christian life with a "man."
 
it's cool and it may have been a good idea to post this in the beginning... it just bothers me when people are trying to infer that i'm being selfish.. if i was YHWH would have checked me... and HE has..
 
I believe more Christians can fathom this, including me, than you care to admit. The greatest apostle was a lifetime bachelor..there are people called to do God's work and marriage isn't a desire or maybe God doesn't want them to. That is all great and honorable....

.... and the connection to intercessory prayer against spiritual warfare on marriage is??


SND411 said:
I get this response each time I state I want to remain single for life. It is as if people cannot fathom a Christian life with a "man."
Click to expand...
 
nathansgirl1908 said:
Also, in placing such emphasis on marriage, Christians don't address how hearts become divided in marriage leaving little room for God. That's one reason I'm not interested in marriage right now. I want my whole heart to be for God.
Click to expand...

That is why I feel it should be discussed. This is something that couples need to know how to do successful (with God as the center). I also feel that it will show people who are really Christians and who are not, then you have a better idea of who to be involved with. My friend was taught at church that when he is dating someone, it has to be done in a group setting (4 or more people). If he wants to get to know one of the girls, he would have to do it in front of everyone. They have even told couples not to sit together during service and that kissing is something that only married people do. If more churches started doing this, it will help weed people out who are 1. not interested in you personally and 2. who are not followers of Christ.

nathansgirl1908 said:
We can and we should. But there is a difference between this and what is going on in the other thread.
Click to expand...

I am sorry it is didn't accross off that way but that was the intention.

luthiengirlie said:
WHICH IS WHY i don't understand why people have issues with it? if YHWH calls you to intercede IN SOMETHING ELSE. by ALL MEANS DO SO. I would never question it or disagree with it. I would have given you the courtesy of PMING you in PRIVATE seeking understanding. NOT blasting AND DIVERTING the purpose of a thread because you disagree with it?
DOESN'T make any SENSE to me!
Click to expand...

Very true. What God might lay on one person's heart to do, He might not lay on another.

sidney said:
I think it is the individual's responsibility to check their hearts. We are to be likeminded about the things God cares about. Can I be honest? If someone where to post a prayer thread for marriage vs. a prayer thread about homelessness, which one do you think will get more of a response?
Click to expand...

This is very true. In the "Will you pray now" thread (the one nicen'wavy started"), I post articles about Christians being persecuted in the Middle East and Asia, and I ask for people to keep others that are in those areas in their prays . . . I don't know if people do it.


nathansgirl1908 said:
That was not an attack on marriage. And to be truthful, that's just the kind of thing I am talking about. Everything is not an attack on marriage. That certainly wasn't and it is baffling as to why someone would see it as so.

I'm sorry if you are feeling sensitive on the issue of marriage, but you should not be offended when people want to have discussion. And if you want people to join you in your prayer, you should be willing to make it clear to them what they are praying for. I don't pray blindly and I know there are others who don't as well.
Click to expand...

Are you referring to the other thread or what you said in it?
 
sidney said:
We are to be likeminded about the things God cares about. Can I be honest? If someone where to post a prayer thread for marriage vs. a prayer thread about homelessness, which one do you think will get more of a response?
Click to expand...

Around here I think the one about marriage would get the most responses. And THAT is troubling to me.
 
We should be praying constantly about the things God has put on our hearts.

The other thread was an offshoot of someone in the random thoughts mentioning an attack on Christian marriages. Some of us also agreed and decided to become more intentional in the war. It was good for me to see a couple other christians that have had this burden placed on their hearts at the same time it is on mine. About half of the Christian marriages I know are on the verge of divorce (with children involved). So this season...I KNOW that God has called me to intercede for everyone whose marriage is suffering (not just my own). It is true that he may not place the same burden on everyones heart so it is important to follow the prompting of the Holy Ghost so that you pray with a pure heart.
 
I'd think Christian conduct according to the Word is supposed to establish a lot of this. And the elder women and women are to teach the younger ones. Are you talking specifically about classes at churches to groom young men/ women for marriage?

Abdijz said:
That is why I feel it should be discussed. This is something that couples need to know how to do successful (with God as the center). I also feel that it will show people who are really Christians and who are not, then you have a better idea of who to be involved with. My friend was taught at church that when he is dating someone, it has to be done in a group setting (4 or more people). If he wants to get to know one of the girls, he would have to do it in front of everyone. They have even told couples not to sit together during service and that kissing is something that only married people do. If more churches started doing this, it will help weed people out who are 1. not interested in you personally and 2. who are not followers of Christ.
Click to expand...
 
SND411 said:
This is how I feel:

I think it is exceedingly important to pray and discuss Christian marriage. A lot of the Christian community is based on the "traditional family" with marriage being at the center ideally. Marriage is a wonderful thing. I also agree that the world does not really value marriage, and that many Christian communities are not seriously viewing marriage as a picture of Christ and His Church.
Click to expand...

That is sad to hear and I hate that it is true. Why do you think (anyone can answer this) Christian communities don't view marriage the way you described?

SND411 said:
I am sorry for diverting that thread.
Click to expand...

It is ok.

SND411 said:
I think the problem is that many Christians, especially Christian women, feel that they HAVE to get married. It is because society/family drill it into our heads since we are born. Women are always told that without a man romantically in our lives, we are nothing. I feel that people should discuss Godly Christian marriages as well as provide lifestyle advice on how to serve God as a single person for life without becoming a monk or a nun.
Click to expand...

I think this really should be done. Jesus didn't have time for a marriage because He had to save the world. For some people, it might not be in God's plans.

Laela said:
I believe more Christians can fathom this, including me, than you care to admit. The greatest apostle was a lifetime bachelor..there are people called to do God's work and marriage isn't a desire or maybe God doesn't want them to. That is all great and honorable....

.... and the connection to intercessory prayer against spiritual warfare on marriage is??
Click to expand...

I believe it.
 
I do think in some Christian circles, a whole lot of emphasis is placed on marriage. This is not necessarily a bad thing as marriage is important; however sometimes it seems like marriage validates a woman and it should be every womans desire and if it isn't at a particular time then it is a bit hard to accept. I have noticed that the lack of marriage seems a lot in Christian circles and I do not think this lack of marriage itself is an attack per say and i'll tell you why.

1) There are way more women in the Church than men. Women are more involved in the Church than men and women cannot marry themselves or do not want to marry outside of the body of Christ. The problem is a lack of true Christian men that really embrace God like we do.

2) I feel the attack on singleness is Christian women feeling they are validated by marriage, that this is the ultimate blessing and that it will finally make them happy. This makes Christian women very hungry for a husband and sometimes I wonder if the proportion of single Christian women is really that much higher or the women are just so much more keener than others. The second attack is the lack of men in the Church in comparison to women and this needs to be prayed for.
 
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