is it ok for him to look???

it should never be obvious that he is staring nor should his eyes linger....what is more of an issue is his fixation with asian women as the ladies stated upthread. most men i know just like attractive women period or they have a preference for a person that is the same race as them....when this is not the case men get varying side eyes from me for numerous reasons. self hatred and fetishes are just a few things that come to mind.
 
I don't know why everyone is in a bunch. I look, every time I go to this business I frequent seldom, I check out this guy every time. Just want to look not touch that is all.

We are all human and believe me they are looking even harder when you are not around.
 
My eyes did not fall out of my head when I got married and neither did his. I notice attractive men and women and DH does as well. He has never been the type to stare at women but noticing an attractive woman and glancing at her is not something that would bother me.
 
It's something men are going to do. I find it hard not to look at pretty women or attractive men. If your SO is obviously trying to make eye contact and woo her with his coyness, that's a problem. But looking is fine. Chances are the girl sees and is flattered but unnerved by the fact that he has the balls to do it in front of you (slimy).

Anyway, my SO will look. And what do I do? I drag him to see a movie with me with a nakey Michael Fassbender.
 
abcd09 said:
It's something men are going to do. I find it hard not to look at pretty women or attractive men. If your SO is obviously trying to make eye contact and woo her with his coyness, that's a problem. But looking is fine. Chances are the girl sees and is flattered but unnerved by the fact that he has the balls to do it in front of you (slimy).

Anyway, my SO will look. And what do I do? I drag him to see a movie with me with a nakey Michael Fassbender.
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I'm having trouble connecting these two thoughts:
Looking is fine but the recipient of the looks would/should be upset because it's slimy. If it's OK why would you think the recipient would be unnerved?
 
Fine 4s said:
I'm having trouble connecting these two thoughts:
Looking is fine but the recipient of the looks would/should be upset because it's slimy. If it's OK why would you think the recipient would be unnerved?
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I didn't say the recipient should be upset. I'm saying sometimes I've observed them looking upset and annoyed/confused when the guy is with a girl. Sometimes they are flattered.

What I'm trying to say is that just because he is looking, doesn't mean anything is going to happen, and if he is looking too hard it may not go down well with everyone else because he is with a woman already.
 
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abcd09 said:
I didn't say the recipient should be upset. I'm saying sometimes I've observed them looking upset and annoyed/confused when the guy is with a girl. Sometimes they are flattered.

What I'm trying to say is that just because he is looking, doesn't mean anything is going to happen, and if he is looking too hard it may not go down well with everyone else because he is with a woman already.
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Thanks for the clarification!
 
i hate when guys do this. every guy i have dated except my current has been a looker. my most recent ex used to ask me if i was attracted to the girls he was looking at -____-
anyways, i am glad I don't have to deal with that anymore. I thought i was cool with it but its almost a relief now.
 
SummerSolstice said:
i hate when guys do this. every guy i have dated except my current has been a looker. my most recent ex used to ask me if i was attracted to the girls he was looking at -____-
anyways, i am glad I don't have to deal with that anymore. I thought i was cool with it but its almost a relief now.
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Whaat. where did he get those cajones :spinning:
 
I wouldn't be with a man that straight up stares down other women but I notice the extremes in women and men's appearances and will comment on them to my dh lol. He only makes comments about busted teeth, poor dress and the grotesquely obese.
 
Fine 4s said:
I'm having trouble connecting these two thoughts:
Looking is fine but the recipient of the looks would/should be upset because it's slimy. If it's OK why would you think the recipient would be unnerved?
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I, as a receipient, of looks the lingered a bit too long was unnerved & rolled my eyes in dissaproval at the guy every time. I can't stand men that do that because it's really disrespectful, unkind, and thoughtless. I've seen one woman elbow her SO in the side and I giggled inside about it. Another time I saw one woman place her hand on top of her SO's head and turn it towards her in a swift motion.
Good for those ladies as I would do the same.
 
OP sounds like your man is hungry for some Asian meat. I would be more worried about him stepping out to satisfy that curiosity. You can train a man not to look when you're in his presence, it's a bit harder to train him to not want/desire something.
 
As others have said, I think it's normal for both sexes to notice attractive men and women. Glancing is OK. Staring is not. I'm not naive enough to think DH won't find other women attractive. But I've told him that I appreciate that he doesn't go all out with the look when he's with me.
 
I don't like it and I noticed that I only have a problem with it when I'm feeling more insecure than normal. I am on a new not quite so comfortable hair journey, dealing with acne and worst of all I have 60lbs to lose so my feelings are definitely affected by this which leads to my next post. Stay tuned
 
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
Thank you! I don't know his deal with the filipinas but he definitely had a thing for them. When we were younger and dating he told me that he would sleep with my Asian friend if he had to choose between all of them, out off all my friend he picked the one I never thought he'd pick. One time when we were separated he dated a non American Filipino and posted pics of them on fb and everything. I don't know why if he loves them so he doesn't just be with them. Now i'm mad all over again
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Because he loves you. He loves you so he's with you.

OP unless he's drooling at the mouth when he sees an Asian woman walk by, I think you're overreacting. I think you're just aware of the type of woman he's attracted to so whenever an asian girl walks by you check to see if he's gawking.

The man I'm dating now LOVES long kinky natural hair. Not the 3b/3c curls but the long 4as he thinks its stunning. So I know if we walk past a girl with hair like that he's going to look. I don't check to see if he's looking and he's never slowed up his pace or started foaming at the mouth or broke his neck either.

There's a certain type of man I'm attracted to that different from him and if I see one I'm going to look. How can you stop yourself from seeing something when it walks by? I see it acknowledge the beauty God made and keep it moving.:lachen: I don't think I wish my man looked like that or i wish I was with a man that looked like that. That's just silly.

People are attracted to a lot of different things. I find white guys with dark hair and blue eyes and a strong jaw line to be attractive, I've even dated one that looked like that and he was from Britain. I also find dark milk chocolatey men to be very attractive(my SO), but my attraction to type A has nothing to do with my attraction to type B. I can be attracted to both.

If he had such a problem with how you looked he wouldn't have proposed to you. No man wants to spend the rest of his life with a chick that's not his type just because.
 
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MaryJane. You have a point but its a respect thing for me. He can be attracted all he wants but he doesn't have to look if he knows I don't like it
 
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