is it ok for him to look???

NO, it is never okay for your guy to look at other women. NEVER! My SO keeps his eyes to himself, like he should.
 
Conterria said:
NO, it is never okay for your guy to look at other women. NEVER! My SO keeps his eyes to himself, like he should.
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He would never turn his head to look but I always catch his eye s on the Asian girl
 
Tell me why I get jealous when my SO and I are watching a movie and there's nudity?.....smh.



Anyways, this whole thing being bad depends.
Have you talked to him about this?
During your relationship has he done this, and you've been just letting it slide?

If he knows it bothers you and still does it (especially in front of you) then he doesn't care about how you feel, so if he does this and he knows you don't accept it then....yeah. Not good.

But if you haven't talked to him and he's been doing it all this time without knowing how you feel, then I would say it's not bad. You have to talk, and if theres no communication then you can't blame him for looking because in his mind it's ok.
 
Conterria said:
NO, it is never okay for your guy to look at other women. NEVER! My SO keeps his eyes to himself, like he should.
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I'm going to agree with this but qualify it to never in my presence. If he looks when I'm not around okay, he's human -but he should never disrespect me by doing it when we're together.
 
When I'm not there I don't mind if my partner quickly looks if someone is very attractive. Even I look at women if they are particularly stunning and I notice if a man is too. I don't want to hear no stories about him downright staring anyone down like he wants to sop them up with a biscuit:nono:.

When I am there, again I don't mind if his attention is caught for a second occasionally. Its like when they have those big pictures of women on billboards, it's eyecatching! I need to feel though that the effort is made not to stare at women in my presence and if he does look its only a quick slip.

I remember when my friend changed her hairstyle and her SO hadn't seen her yet. She was walking home in the neighbourhood and she noticed him breaking off his neck obviously staring at her for some time in the distance and as he came towards her. He didn't recognize her at all until close up. If my partner did that to me it would be a deal break.
 
i have not had to deal with this behavior yet, but i am pretty sure it wouldn't be okay with me and that i would voice that opinion. like looking at someone who passes by, that wouldn't really been an issue, but making eye contact/silent communications with other women, that wouldn't be okay with me.
 
He definitely makes the effort to not look but its like he can't help it. Its not starting by any means because id it was then this thread would be about being single but still I don't like three way it makes me feel. I have weight issues and I noticed I only care when I feel intimidated by the girls looks. if we both see a girl with a nice rump we discuss it because we can't help to notice but I know him well enough to know when he recognizes something pretty and I don't like it
 
Just because a man is in a relationship doesnt make him blind. Naturally he may look and linger..however its about respect. I dont mind a look..however if its too long or he turns his head..its an issue for me. Fortunately my man doesnt look at other women when we are together..
 
Its disrespectful period. Yes just because he is in a relationship doesn't make him blind but the same way he has to control his Johnson, he needs to control his lustful eyeballs if his woman is uncomfy. I maybe a hypocrite because I point women out to my guy. LOL I point out super duper duper donkey butts, long legs and huge boobs.:lol:

I can understand your pain because I know someone personally who's man cannot control his eyes and says slick sh!t to other women when she is in the room. It does nothing for her low self esteem but she isn't pristine herself. Hell if you have a 3some how da hell you expect your man not to look at other women disrespectfully in your presence. LOL
 
I haven't had to deal with this problem since I'm SO-less but I'd expect the guy not to look and linger in my presence. It's disrespectful and if I caught my SO doing it I'd have a serious re-think of the relationship. If I'm not around sure I guess so long as I don't hear about it later and looking doesn't lead to more.
 
My DH and I are the odd balls I guess because we'll joke about how big some girl's butt is or how buff a guy is. I'll joke that a random good looking girl is his type and he'll point out a guy he thinks is my type. We both look sometimes but don't gawk. It would be naive of me to think he doesn't look, even in my presence. I totally trust him and vice versa, and I'd much rather he be open about it than do it behind my back.
 
What if they look at Faceobok pictures? On and off the friends list. Is that the same thing? I was just having this conversation with some friends earlier this week! I get annoyed with text messages back and forth...I don't want to ask who it is but hmmmmm that burns me!
 
Being human is something we can't help so I understand the looking sometimes but I still want him to knew I don't like it and that I don't want to see him do it in front of me again. I texted him "if you look at another girl in my face again you will regret it...dont forget that I warned you". I hope he gets the message!!
 
Charz said:
I think your problem is that the women he's glaring at are Asian
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That's definitely part of it, I could never satisfy that curiosity and I don't want him to want that satisfied
 
Fine 4s said:
What if they look at Faceobok pictures? On and off the friends list. Is that the same thing? I was just having this conversation with some friends earlier this week! I get annoyed with text messages back and forth...I don't want to ask who it is but hmmmmm that burns me!
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If he is in contact with the Facebook girl then yeah its a problem. I often look at the pics on fb randomly though but if he's one of the ones who try to hook up on fb then you guys need to have a sit down ovi
 
Fine 4s said:
I'm saying he looks at pictures
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I'm saying what if the man only looks at pics online? In the case of FB let's say he trolls his friends list and looks at other women's albums. Let's say the man even looks at pictures of women he isn't friends with. Since the people are online would it make you feel the same way if you notice it that he does this? How about random photos online? What's the difference with FB, online (Internet) TV or in real life? I know men who do this all the time. What's the difference with watching porn (soft or hard, pictures or movies)? Are they looking for entertainment or inspiration? I'm probably taking this wayyyyyy too far lol
 
OP, I would certainly watch him around Asian women if he only have eyes for them. Why didn't he just find him an Asian girl if he is so obsessed with them?

On that note, do you think he would leave you if he had a chance with an Asian girl? I would be concerned with that too. Only Asians huh? Hmmm.... Have a serious talk with him OP.
 
There is nothing wrong with the usual glance but staring or neck rolling to follow dat arse ain't gon work. It might get a kneegrow cut. LOL Well unless ya'll into some agreeable freaky deaky smit like the fool couple I know.

Good luck OP. I hope your threats work because if not you could do what ole southern mama's do pinch dat arse real hard each and e'rytime he demonstrates no woman training. LOL
 
Fine 4s said:
I'm saying what if the man only looks at pics online? In the case of FB let's say he trolls his friends list and looks at other women's albums. Let's say the man even looks at pictures of women he isn't friends with. Since the people are online would it make you feel the same way if you notice it that he does this? How about random photos online? What's the difference with FB, online (Internet) TV or in real life? I know men who do this all the time. What's the difference with watching porn (soft or hard, pictures or movies)? Are they looking for entertainment or inspiration? I'm probably taking this wayyyyyy too far lol
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I think that would be odd and I think its odd to spend so much time browsing the net just to look at women porn or otherwise especially when you're in a relationship.
 
*CherryPie* said:
OP, I would certainly watch him around Asian women if he only have eyes for them. Why didn't he just find him an Asian girl if he is so obsessed with them?

On that note, do you think he would leave you if he had a chance with an Asian girl? I would be concerned with that too. Only Asians huh? Hmmm.... Have a serious talk with him OP.
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Thank you! I don't know his deal with the filipinas but he definitely had a thing for them. When we were younger and dating he told me that he would sleep with my Asian friend if he had to choose between all of them, out off all my friend he picked the one I never thought he'd pick. One time when we were separated he dated a non American Filipino and posted pics of them on fb and everything. I don't know why if he loves them so he doesn't just be with them. Now i'm mad all over again
 
If he's looking to the point that it's noticeable then that's unacceptable. Some of ya'll try to sit and linger and look at another man while out with your man since it's natural to look and see if they think it's ok. It's not.
 
For me, it's not so much what you do, but how you do it and I hold DH to same standard that I hold myself: When you're around people, you will notice and look at them. But there's a difference between looking at/noticing someone because they're in your field of vision and :shocked: when they walk by. Your SO does, however (IMO), need to get a handle on this:
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
...But he is a charming guy and a natural flirt who always looks at the opposite sex a little too long for me...
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And based on this:
ZLUVSNEWZEE said:
Thank you! I don't know his deal with the filipinas but he definitely had a thing for them. When we were younger and dating he told me that he would sleep with my Asian friend if he had to choose between all of them, out off all my friend he picked the one I never thought he'd pick. One time when we were separated he dated a non American Filipino and posted pics of them on fb and everything. I don't know why if he loves them so he doesn't just be with them. Now i'm mad all over again
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even though his wandering eyes are a problem for you, I don't think they are your real issue.
 
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I dunno... it doesn't really bother me. As long as they are not ogling or flirting. I've caught an SO a couple of times, but they usually have tried to keep it to themselves. Usually I'll just catch their eye and stare them down and we'll laugh about it and move on. Most of the time its been someone who was actually very striking or had a really notable..... asset so it was understandable.

Now if they were staring at Asian women regularly, I think I would have to have a conversation with them about that. Like... what is that about?
 
He is human and so are you. If you see someone HOT I am sure you would too. Its about being sensitive enough to the other person when you are out together.
 
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