Is he basically telling her that he is/will cheat on her?

[ChasingBliss]

My Coworker and I were having a conversation that quickly made her defensive.

She told me that she and her SO were having a conversation about friends of the opposite sex...particularly male friends. He said that he didnt mind her having them, but he is not gonna lose sight of the fact that all men are predators by nature. He then said that even he was a predator...but stated that he didnt mean it in the sense that he preys on women while he's in a relationship (preying meaning going after someone he's interested in); he is just stating the nature of men. She told me that she said that she wanted to know more about what he meant by that ....and he told her that's the way life is...people will see and be attracted to the opposite sex. He may see a woman, he may look at her twice, he may even be attracted to her, but he wouldnt act on it because he respects his relationship.

I dunno, it just didnt sound right to me....so I told her...SHe didnt agree with me at first but got mad at me for introducing the notion. I mean I kind of felt like it meant that she should have something to worry about.

How would any of you take a conversation like that. According to her, overall he's a very good guy who adores her. He also tends to be extremely blunt and real... But was still looking sideways at that convo.

 

[Nayna]

Meaning other men won't necessarily respect his relationship. His point was pretty clear and it doesn't mean he's going to cheat on her.

What did u find sideways about it?

 

[JFemme]

I did not get that at all.

He's letting her in the nature of men. All men.

Its something women do not want to know, for the most part...

What notion did you introduce her to...?

 

[LostInAdream]

Meaning other men won't necessarily respect his relationship. His point was pretty clear and it doesn't mean he's going to cheat on her.

What did u find sideways about it?

ITA, He was just stating what he knows as man not meaning thats what he does in while in a relationship.

 

[Ediese]

It's the way of life. Of course, he as a man will be attracted to other women. It's a natural thing. That's not going to change just because he's in a relationship with your friend.

I find a lot of women to be a little naive thinking that because they're in a relationship their man isn't going to find other women attractive. That's the way of the world. He's being truthful. The difference is, like he said, what you do with that attraction. He respects his relationship enough to only look and keep it moving.

 

[ChasingBliss]

Meaning other men won't necessarily respect his relationship. His point was pretty clear and it doesn't mean he's going to cheat on her.

What did u find sideways about it?

I dont know, I just put myself in her place. I personally never had a guy tell me that...well not so bluntly. I suppose he was just being real.

I did not get that at all.

He's letting her in the nature of men. All men.

Its something women do not want to know, for the most part...

What notion did you introduce her to...?

I made her feel like he might cheat on her....I regret it now.

Yeah, as she told me the story, I was like, why the hell is he telling you that he would look twice at a woman. I guess, after that, I didnt "hear" anything else...

ITA, He was just stating what he knows as man not meaning thats what he does in while in a relationship.

I understand...maybe youre right. I feel bad that I made her feel bad.

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

I think he was keeping it real.
I hope this doesn't start an argument between them.
We are all attracted to other people, but we don't act on it.
Him having a Y chromosome won't make him act on it any more than a woman would

 

[jamaicalovely]

It's the way of life. Of course, he as a man will be attracted to other women. It's a natural thing. That's not going to change just because he's in a relationship with your friend.

I find a lot of women to be a little naive thinking that because they're in a relationship their man isn't going to find other women attractive. That's the way of the world. He's being truthful. The difference is, like he said, what you do with that attraction. He respects his relationship enough to only look and keep it moving.

ITA.

I was not bothered my his comment either.

 

[tinkat]

Like previously stated, he was just stating the truth. I actually respect his answer bc he was being honest. Its ok to be attracted to another, just don't act on it. I did not pick up anything suspicious from the statement.

 

[discobiscuits]

.......yes.......

 

[DMJ's Mom]

I don't see anything wrong with that. My dad (well a father figure after mine passed) told me all men are dogs and have dog tendencies even him. I don't see that as saying "I may cheat"

 

[gabulldawg]

I don't see anything wrong with what he said... Heaven knows I break my neck doing triple takes at guys sometimes. I find guys attractive in day to day life, but that doesn't mean that I will ever step outside of my relationship. I look, but I don't touch. I would hope that my SO can do the same.

Saying that he looks at women does not mean your coworkers' SO is cheating on her. Do you honestly think that men in a committed relationship don't find other women attractive?

 

[ChasingBliss]

I don't see anything wrong with what he said... Heaven knows I break my neck doing triple takes at guys sometimes. I find guys attractive in day to day life, but that doesn't mean that I will ever step outside of my relationship. I look, but I don't touch. I would hope that my SO can do the same.

Saying that he looks at women does not mean your coworkers' SO is cheating on her. Do you honestly think that men in a committed relationship don't find other women attractive?

Nah, never said that...I'm too old to be that naive

It was what he said, how he said, and perhaps how it was relayed to me....but I understand all you guys and I'm gonna apologize to her tomorrow. Shoot my intuition aint always right. I can admit that.

 

[FemmeCreole]

what the man stated was the truth..... hell women do it too. I see guys I find atttractive all the time but I just won't act in that because I value my relationship.

Same thing the guy was saying to your friend.

 

[hopeful]

...
I made her feel like he might cheat on her....I regret it now.

...

I understand...maybe youre right. I feel bad that I made her feel bad.

HoneyLemonDrop, I don't think you should feel bad. I think she brought this to you because it was bothering her as well and she wanted you to somehow have a response that made her feel better about the conversation. The person she should have been talking to was him since he was the one who made the statements.

If I were you I would probably apologize too but I wouldn't listen to her anymore about the private conversations she and her SO have.

I don't really have a problem with what he said but like you I have never had a man talk to me so bluntly. I think that is what threw you.