Interview w/Author: "The Best Sex of My Life" (Abstinence 'Til Marriage)

[AfroKink]

I think many people take sex too seriously. I definitely agree that it is something that would be better to save until marriage or at least until you find the person you know you are going to marry, but when you wait too long it's like you're asking for trouble! Is that healthy?? Will you be able to even enjoy sex once it actually happens? People definitely need to be careful with exhaulting sex. I waited a long time compared to most people that I know, and it was difficult at first. I can't imagine if I would have waited until my 30's or 40's to have sex...

I think people do not take sex seriously enough.

Of course abstinence is healthy, you decrease your risk or AIDS, STDS, cervical cancer... possible depression and heartache if you realize a man was just using you

Why wouldn't you be able to enjoy sex once it happened? It's not like the parts stop working.

Lys

 

[AfroKink]

The title is a moot point, IMHO. It's the only sex of her life, so of course it's the best. That doesn't mean it's going to be good sex. I greatly appreciate her putting sex in it's proper prospective, but I know more than a few ladies that waited until marriage that are pretty disappointed w/their mates in the bedroom. I don't advocate sex before marriage; I wish I had waited, but I also don't believe one can say how great it will be before they've done it. Good sex requires a lot of communication, an unselfish partner, and a person who is teachable, especially if neither one of them has had sex before. A person can't know for sure if they will have a partner like that until they are in the situation. JMHO.

A person should know the communication abilities of potential partners before they become actual partners. If you can't talk openly and freely with a person why are you laying down together? You should be able to discuss your likes, dislikes, things you want to try, fantasies etc. If a person is selfish and not willing/able to learn or be taught, that would manifest itself in other parts of your relationship with that person. When you see those signs, you should realize this is not the type of person you should spend your life with. You don't need to have sex to determine that, and it should actually be determined before you have sex.

Lys

 

[Shimmie]

I believe sex is sacred as well, so we can agree on that. My issue, for lack of a better word, is the messenger and the title of her book. I'm all for virginity going into marriage, but for her to say "The Best Sex of My Life" is like a girl coming out to do your hair on her first day of beauty school, talking about how great of a job she's about to do on your hair. She ain't seen no parts of nobody's hair, and yet, she's about to slap on a relaxer. Um, how about, no thank you, you're not qualified erplexed . I'd be more receptive to the authors' message had she already been married, was writing to tell others the value of waiting, how she made it through the temptation, and how she and her husband have created a beautiful sexual relationship. I do believe she's more than qualified to teach about how to wait for your husband, though, and maybe that IS what the book is about, but the title throws off something altogether different. JMHO.

I 'hear' you and I'm glad you shared this, as the article itsself never phased me, as I never read it. As I was reading through this thread, it was the comment which was posted that, sex isn't serious that surprised me so much and to which I responded.

I also understand your view preferring to receive this from a married woman versus a single woman who wrote it. Yet, it doesn't take rocket science for one, either married or single, to see the values of waiting until marriage for sex. Hence sex at its Best...

We can see all around us the heartaches that women (and men) go through having sex outside of marriage. The pregnancies, baby mama drama, std's, ho' down drama, insecurities of one's status in the relationship, instability of committment, and the like. This forum and the OT forum are a perfect example of it and it's so sad. You'll see more threads of heartache from the single women versus the married. Why is that? Sex wasn't put in its right perspective.

Again, I understand your viewpoint and it's valid; and I like how you used the 'hair/perm example' -- excellent ...our mama's didn't make no fool when it comes to taking care of our hair.

Blessings angel...

 

[Crackers Phinn]

I believe sex is sacred as well, so we can agree on that. My issue, for lack of a better word, is the messenger and the title of her book. I'm all for virginity going into marriage, but for her to say "The Best Sex of My Life" is like a girl coming out to do your hair on her first day of beauty school, talking about how great of a job she's about to do on your hair. She ain't seen no parts of nobody's hair, and yet, she's about to slap on a relaxer. Um, how about, no thank you, you're not qualified erplexed . I'd be more receptive to the authors' message had she already been married, was writing to tell others the value of waiting, how she made it through the temptation, and how she and her husband have created a beautiful sexual relationship. I do believe she's more than qualified to teach about how to wait for your husband, though, and maybe that IS what the book is about, but the title throws off something altogether different. JMHO.

You said what I wanted to say, but much more eloquently.

I agree with all, except that while I do think sex is serious, it's not sacred.

 

[janiebaby]

:Run:

 

[caligirl]

:Run:

LOL! Some people need to breathe, stretch, shake and let it go! Don't take it personal. But I agree that I would rather read a book by a MARRIED woman who waited to have sex.

 

[Xerxes]

Not just a "religious" thing....

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=16614617

Books
Author: 'The Best Sex of My Life'

Listen Now [6 min 43 sec] add to playlist


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Dr. Lindsay Marsh




Tell Me More, November 26, 2007 · Dr. Lindsay Marsh says it's worth waiting until marriage to engage in sexual activity. A virgin, Marsh urges abstinence for the sake of both health and spirit and advises men and women to avoid masturbation. She runs the program "Worth The Wait," which promotes abstinence.
Dr. Marsh discusses her book, The Best Sex of My Life: A guide to Purity.

Web Resources

• Worth the Wait

BOT

This thread made me laugh. However, I would like to read responses too.

I find this woman and her cause to be highly suspect! Her website seems dedicated to making money and I saw no scripture at all. Also, I doubt that she's really a virgin now or even when she first started her movement. All of the pics seem particularly ghetto and not Christian-like.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I don't think Jesus would approve of this pic or her site.

 

[honeyflaava]

BOT

This thread made me laugh. However, I would like to read responses too.

I find this woman and her cause to be highly suspect! Her website seems dedicated to making money and I saw no scripture at all. Also, I doubt that she's really a virgin now or even when she first started her movement. All of the pics seem particularly ghetto and not Christian-like.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I don't think Jesus would approve of this pic or her site.

I have to be honest that I find your post very offensive because I have known Dr. Lindsay for over 10 years and her example and testimony has definitely been a contributing factor to me maintaining my virginity for marriage. She is in fact a 32- year old VIRGIN and she practices exactly what she speaks about in her book, which I would highly recommend you read before judging. She is an awesome woman of God with a powerful anointing on her life to spread this message of sexual purity. I don't understand why you assume that she's not a virgin or that her website is dedicated to making money or that there is no scripture on the site (which actually if you bothered to read the entire first page you would have seen scripture quoted) How about checking the "U Waiting" tab on the site to read the testimonies of people's lives that she has influenced with this sexual purity revolution.

All of the pics seem particularly ghetto and not Christian-like.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I don't think Jesus would approve of this pic or her site.

I have also been modeling for Worth the Wait since it's inception and opinions like this are EXACTLY why we are out here promoting the message of sexual purity with contemporary style and urban class because so many young people associate sexual purity, abstinence, and virginity with meaning that you have to be an unattractive, style-less, frumpy mess and that's not the case at all. We can be saved, committed to sexual purity and still be fly.

 

[NeeSee]

I think many people take sex too seriously. I definitely agree that it is something that would be better to save until marriage or at least until you find the person you know you are going to marry, but when you wait too long it's like you're asking for trouble! Is that healthy?? Will you be able to even enjoy sex once it actually happens? People definitely need to be careful with exhaulting sex. I waited a long time compared to most people that I know, and it was difficult at first. I can't imagine if I would have waited until my 30's or 40's to have sex...

Yes it's healthy and if more people took sex more seriously so many of us would not be running around here infected with HIV and AIDS and Herpes and everything else.

 

[Radianthealth]

Does the Bible say that we shouldn't masterbate?

This is something I have always wondered :scratchch

 

[Xerxes]

I have to be honest that I find your post very offensive because I have known Dr. Lindsay for over 10 years and her example and testimony has definitely been a contributing factor to me maintaining my virginity for marriage. She is in fact a 32- year old VIRGIN and she practices exactly what she speaks about in her book, which I would highly recommend you read before judging. She is an awesome woman of God with a powerful anointing on her life to spread this message of sexual purity. I don't understand why you assume that she's not a virgin or that her website is dedicated to making money or that there is no scripture on the site (which actually if you bothered to read the entire first page you would have seen scripture quoted) How about checking the "U Waiting" tab on the site to read the testimonies of people's lives that she has influenced with this sexual purity revolution.

All of the pics seem particularly ghetto and not Christian-like.

Maybe I'm old fashioned, but I don't think Jesus would approve of this pic or her site.

I have also been modeling for Worth the Wait since it's inception and opinions like this are EXACTLY why we are out here promoting the message of sexual purity with contemporary style and urban class because so many young people associate sexual purity, abstinence, and virginity with meaning that you have to be an unattractive, style-less, frumpy mess and that's not the case at all. We can be saved, committed to sexual purity and still be fly.

I maintain that I find her site to be suspicious. Could you quote her on anything spiritual? I'd love to hear/read something that actually is spritually relevant and not a bunch of pics of teens/young adults in suggestive poses and links to amazon.com to buy her book.

I don't know her at all and from what she displays on her website, I question the sincerity of her cause. Please look at her link and find scripture on sexual purity. It should be prominent on the home page and I still can't find anything that would make me feel comfortable with connecting myself to that site or giving her money for her book or t-shirts.

As far as being unattractive and frumpy, just always consider would Jesus approve of what you or her are doing or are insinuating for others to follow. Do you think any of the pics from her site, especially the one I posted would make Jesus smile? Seriously?

When you claim to be a Christian advisor for youth, you have got to come "correct" and leave no room for doubt. Leaning over motorcycles and whatnot is unnecessary. Even sinners would think that's a bit much! LOL

I have no tolerance for fake prophets making a profit off of young/misguided people, neither does God (Matt 7:15-20). So I call it like I see it and she seems false to me (like a $3 bill). Shoot, I know women who thought Juanita Bynum was legit until all of her stuff came out in public. Yet, Juanita still is making money. SMH

 

[JustKiya]

Wait - she hasn't had sex yet, but she's talking about the "Best Sex of Her Life"? How does that work? That would be like me writing a book "I'm the Best Mother in the World" without having nary a kid.

And who said it wasn't a religious thing? Based on the comments about this woman, she's definitely coming from a religious viewpoint.

Starting out with even slight falsehoods makes the whole thing look suspect.

 

[saved06]

Can someone who has actually read the book come forth lol and explain the title

 

[Xerxes]

Wait - she hasn't had sex yet, but she's talking about the "Best Sex of Her Life"? How does that work? That would be like me writing a book "I'm the Best Mother in the World" without having nary a kid.

And who said it wasn't a religious thing? Based on the comments about this woman, she's definitely coming from a religious viewpoint.

Starting out with even slight falsehoods makes the whole thing look suspect.

I totally agree with you! I think her title is a joke and it's supposed to make you want to buy the book and then be let down by her advice on remaining a virgin perpetually and not touching yourself. lol

I want to get advice from someone who saved herself, then got married and has kids and stuff.

 

[Bunny77]

I want to get advice from someone who saved herself, then got married and has kids and stuff.

Hey, this is an oldie-but-goodie!

I haven't read the book, but I'm sure that it's been helpful for a certain group of women and that it can be helpful and uplifting for others.

But like everything, I think some things won't appeal to everyone. I have to admit, if I'm under 30 and still waiting for marriage, the idea of reading about a woman still waiting MIGHT not make me feel all that great. Then again, it could. Who knows.

Maybe if I'm already in her age range, it could keep me hanging on and inspired. Again, I don't know... I can't judge because I haven't read the book, but I too admit that the title is kinda like, to me... I'd rather her call it "Worth the Wait," but that's just me.