Interview w/Author: "The Best Sex of My Life" (Abstinence 'Til Marriage)

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Not just a "religious" thing....:look:

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=16614617

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Author: 'The Best Sex of My Life'

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Dr. Lindsay Marsh




Tell Me More, November 26, 2007 · Dr. Lindsay Marsh says it's worth waiting until marriage to engage in sexual activity. A virgin, Marsh urges abstinence for the sake of both health and spirit and advises men and women to avoid masturbation. She runs the program "Worth The Wait," which promotes abstinence.
Dr. Marsh discusses her book, The Best Sex of My Life: A guide to Purity.

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sonce said:
Is this lady married or engaged yet?
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According to the audio clip she's single. No BF/SO/DH.





Thanks for posting this! I'm going to pass this own to a bunch of people. Maybe send out some of the t-shirts as Christmas gifts... or maybe the book. Waiting is not easy to do. People make you feel abnormal. Nice to see there are others out their waiting too.

Lys
 
MissAlyssa said:

According to the audio clip she's single. No BF/SO/DH.





Thanks for posting this! I'm going to pass this own to a bunch of people. Maybe send out some of the t-shirts as Christmas gifts... or maybe the book. Waiting is not easy to do. People make you feel abnormal. Nice to see there are others out their waiting too.

Lys
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I agree :yep:
 
caligirl said:
Her future husband better break her off. She's put the sex on a pedestal.
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:yep::yep::yep: I think many people take sex too seriously. I definitely agree that it is something that would be better to save until marriage or at least until you find the person you know you are going to marry, but when you wait too long it's like you're asking for trouble! Is that healthy?? Will you be able to even enjoy sex once it actually happens? People definitely need to be careful with exhaulting sex. I waited a long time compared to most people that I know, and it was difficult at first. I can't imagine if I would have waited until my 30's or 40's to have sex... :nono:
 
gabulldawg said:
:yep::yep::yep: I think many people take sex too seriously. I definitely agree that it is something that would be better to save until marriage or at least until you find the person you know you are going to marry, but when you wait too long it's like you're asking for trouble! Is that healthy?? Will you be able to even enjoy sex once it actually happens? People definitely need to be careful with exhaulting sex. I waited a long time compared to most people that I know, and it was difficult at first. I can't imagine if I would have waited until my 30's or 40's to have sex... :nono:
Click to expand...

Really? Wow.... Hmmm....

I gotta admit that caligirl's "pedestal" comment was intriguing...to an extent....

Sex is serious... (serious=intense) or else why does it cause so much emotion, anxiety, pleasure, horror, etc.? I think when it stops being "serious", that becomes a big, big problem or it's a sign that maybe the sex stopped being a good as it once was...and to downplay the seriousness of sex just makes them feel better about that unfortunate circumstance.

I think when sex is happening between two people who love and are devoted to each other , sex can be good at any grown-up, matured age (I'm hoping).... Also, there are serious outcomes when people engage in sex WAY BEFORE the "right" time. I get that the "right" time is going to be different for everyone but at the same time, there is a "reasonable" age when a person can be held accountable for their choices and decisions. Just like marriage and other major life instances, sex should not be entered into lightly (no pun intended).

There are some people in their 30s (and 40s) even who have CHOSEN to wait for what they see as good reasons to do so.... I think it's quite immature and narrow-minded to put down or mock somebody's choice for doing so....
 
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RelaxerRehab said:
Really? Wow.... Hmmm....

I gotta admit that caligirl's "pedestal" comment was intriguing...to an extent....

Sex is serious... (serious=intense) or else why does it cause so much emotion, anxiety, pleasure, horror, etc.? I think when it stops being "serious", that becomes a big, big problem or it's a sign that maybe the sex stopped being a good as it once was...and to downplay that just makes them feel better about that unfortunate circumstance.

I think when sex is happening between two people who love and are devoted to each other , sex can be good at any age (I'm hoping)....

There are some people in their 30s (and 40s) even who have CHOSEN to wait for what they see as good reasons to do so.... For one, how can you miss what you never had and for second, it's immature and narrow-minded to put down or mock somebody's choice for doing so....
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Dang, everyone's been so touchy on the boards this weekend... :spinning:

I don't recall mocking or putting down anyone's choice to wait! I gave my opinion about it. It wasn't something I CHOSE to do! It is not healthy to exhault anything (except God). You give it too much power over your life! I already said that I felt that sex is something that should be reserved for marriage or close to it, which obviously doesn't mean it's casual or downplayed. I chose to wait, and I am glad that I did. I am also glad that I didn't wait too much longer. All I said was that it's going to make for an awkward situation if you wait too long and have this whole idea in your head of what it's going to be like, which can cause problems... :perplexed
 
gabulldawg said:
Dang, everyone's been so touchy on the boards this weekend... :spinning:

I don't recall mocking or putting down anyone's choice to wait! I gave my opinion about it. It wasn't something I CHOSE to do! It is not healthy to exhault anything (except God). You give it too much power over your life! I already said that I felt that sex is something that should be reserved for marriage or close to it, which obviously doesn't mean it's casual or downplayed. I chose to wait, and I am glad that I did. I am also glad that I didn't wait too much longer. All I said was that it's going to make for an awkward situation if you wait too long and have this whole idea in your head of what it's going to be like, which can cause problems... :perplexed
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Nope, not touchy, just very clear about what I'm saying.

Allow me to point out your wording that looks like mocking TO ME:
--"but when you wait too long it's like you're asking for trouble!"
--"I can't imagine if I would have waited until my 30's or 40's to have sex... :nono:" (smilie also in original text).

It would seem to me that waiting to have sex does not put sex above God, it actually puts God in the proper perspective and place, especially since "God" said (if we're talking about the Lord Jesus Christ and the Christian Bible) says to wait until marriage to have sex. And I would gather that part of the reason for that is because sex is SO SERIOUS, that to engage in sex with someone who has not openly or publicly demonstrated their love and devotion to you is a dangerous thing. Sex is SO SERIOUS, that sex requires each person to give all of themselves (body, soul, spirit) toward and to give all of that to another who has not proven that they are willing to care and sacrifice for you hurts beyond measure.

How could you know that waiting too long makes sex awkward? I understand that the first sexual experience for (almost) ANYONE is going to be awkward.

It appears that your definition of wait is different from the woman in the story, as well as the OP's (mine), and to speculate that myself or the lady in the NPR story are EXALTING sex over God is inaccurate. You can say all day that is your opinion, and sure, it is and you are entitled to it. And my response to your opinionis that your opinion is UNINFORMED.

Finally, you said that it wasn't something that you CHOSE to do. I'm not exactly sure what that means but if your first sexual experience happened under harmful circumstances, I'm so sorry to hear that and it offers a bit of insight as to your opinion on this matter. I hope things have become better for you.
 
RelaxerRehab said:
Nope, not touchy, just very clear about what I'm saying.

Allow me to point out your wording that looks like mocking TO ME:
--"but when you wait too long it's like you're asking for trouble!"
--"I can't imagine if I would have waited until my 30's or 40's to have sex... :nono:" (smilie also in original text).

It would seem to me that waiting to have sex does not put sex above God, it actually puts God in the proper perspective and place, especially since "God" said (if we're talking about the Lord Jesus Christ and the Christian Bible) says to wait until marriage to have sex. And I would gather that part of the reason for that is because sex is SO SERIOUS, that to engage in sex with someone who has not openly or publicly demonstrated their love and devotion to you is a dangerous thing. Sex is SO SERIOUS, that sex requires each person to give all of themselves (body, soul, spirit) toward and to give all of that to another who has not proven that they are willing to care and sacrifice for you hurts beyond measure.

How could you know that waiting too long makes sex awkward? I understand that the first sexual experience for (almost) ANYONE is going to be awkward.

It appears that your definition of wait is different from the woman in the story, as well as the OP's (mine), and to speculate that myself or the lady in the NPR story are EXALTING sex over God is inaccurate. You can say all day that is your opinion, and sure, it is and you are entitled to it. And my response to your opinionis that your opinion is UNINFORMED.

Finally, you said that it wasn't something that you CHOSE to do. I'm not exactly sure what that means but if your first sexual experience happened under harmful circumstances, I'm so sorry to hear that and it offers a bit of insight as to your opinion on this matter. I hope things have become better for you.
Click to expand...

Okay, I'm going to have to walk out of this thread before someone really gets their feelings hurt... I still only stated MY opinion and MY experience. You have no authority to judge someone else's opinion or life experience. You DO sound touchy, maybe because you regret YOUR choice or experience. I don't regret my experience and you cannot conclude how MY first sexual experience was and how dare you for trying. If you are so regretful of a decision you made, it would be better to see a therapist to work through that rather than attack an innocent bystander who did nothing but provide her OPINION about an issue. :nono::nono::nono:
 
gabulldawg said:
Okay, I'm going to have to walk out of this thread before someone really gets their feelings hurt... I still only stated MY opinion and MY experience. You have no authority to judge someone else's opinion or life experience. You DO sound touchy, maybe because you regret YOUR choice or experience. I don't regret my experience and you cannot conclude how MY first sexual experience was and how dare you for trying. If you are so regretful of a decision you made, it would be better to see a therapist to work through that rather than attack an innocent bystander who did nothing but provide her OPINION about an issue. :nono::nono::nono:
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My feelings are not contingent on your words so please, open up and share!

You know what's funny? We throw out the "it's just my opinion" and we think that disclaimer leaves the opinion untouchable or free from being scrutinized when in fact, it's the exact opposite. I explained very clearly the aspect of your opinion that I addressed. I did not say that your opinion was bad or wrong. I said it was UNINFORMED, which is defined as "lacking in knowledge or information".

Now as you say that "you cannot conclude how MY first sexual experience was and how dare you for trying.", let me remind you again of YOUR WORDS: "I don't recall mocking or putting down anyone's choice to wait! I gave my opinion about it. It wasn't something I CHOSE to do!" And here's my response to that: "Finally, you said that it wasn't something that you CHOSE to do. I'm not exactly sure what that means but if your first sexual experience happened under harmful circumstances, I'm so sorry to hear that and it offers a bit of insight as to your opinion on this matter. I hope things have become better for you."

So as you can see, I said that I did not know exactly what these words meant, but IN CASE your first sexual experience was out of your control, then I'm so sorry that happened to you. See? That's called EMPATHY...me attempting to be sensitive to your situation. But yet you respond with MUCH HOSTILITY...threatening to hurt my feelings? Tsk! Tsk! Tsk! TRUST; you will NEVER have that much power as long as you live on Planet Earth.

You don't know ME or the lady in the NPR story to make such declarations as "but when you wait too long it's like you're asking for trouble!" or "I can't imagine if I would have waited until my 30's or 40's to have sex... :nono:" (smilie also in original text)." when you don't know enough of my story.

I'm in the best place with regard to my sexual experience (or lack thereof). I am waiting on the right man, the God-sent man. And I am no longer in my 20s. And my Lord, it's gets tough to wait but I thank GOD because I know I have been spared much heartache, pregnancy scares, STI, etc.

My primary motivation for posting the NPR story was to share another perspective on the matter. This lady must be doing something noticeable, newsworthy, and (dare I say) RIGHT to get such national news coverage.
 
Gabulldawg, maybe I'm putting words into your mouth, but did you mean to say sometimes people forget about God when they wait to have sex? I knew a lot of girls in high school who made being a virgin about being better than everyone else rather than about personal choice, honoring God and protecting their relationships. They actually went out of their way to make the non-virgin girls feel like damaged goods, worthless people etc.

Now, I would ask you what you meant by waiting too long as asking for trouble.

All I can say though, is I've heard about 100times more people say they wish they waited than say they wish they hadn't.
 
RelaxerRehab said:
Nope, not touchy, just very clear about what I'm saying.

Allow me to point out your wording that looks like mocking TO ME:
--"but when you wait too long it's like you're asking for trouble!"
--"I can't imagine if I would have waited until my 30's or 40's to have sex... :nono:" (smilie also in original text).

It would seem to me that waiting to have sex does not put sex above God, it actually puts God in the proper perspective and place, especially since "God" said (if we're talking about the Lord Jesus Christ and the Christian Bible) says to wait until marriage to have sex. And I would gather that part of the reason for that is because sex is SO SERIOUS, that to engage in sex with someone who has not openly or publicly demonstrated their love and devotion to you is a dangerous thing. Sex is SO SERIOUS, that sex requires each person to give all of themselves (body, soul, spirit) toward and to give all of that to another who has not proven that they are willing to care and sacrifice for you hurts beyond measure.

How could you know that waiting too long makes sex awkward? I understand that the first sexual experience for (almost) ANYONE is going to be awkward.

It appears that your definition of wait is different from the woman in the story, as well as the OP's (mine), and to speculate that myself or the lady in the NPR story are EXALTING sex over God is inaccurate. You can say all day that is your opinion, and sure, it is and you are entitled to it. And my response to your opinionis that your opinion is UNINFORMED.

Finally, you said that it wasn't something that you CHOSE to do. I'm not exactly sure what that means but if your first sexual experience happened under harmful circumstances, I'm so sorry to hear that and it offers a bit of insight as to your opinion on this matter. I hope things have become better for you.
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You weren't the only one who got that impression :nono:
 
The title is a moot point, IMHO. It's the only sex of her life, so of course it's the best. That doesn't mean it's going to be good sex. I greatly appreciate her putting sex in it's proper prospective, but I know more than a few ladies that waited until marriage that are pretty disappointed w/their mates in the bedroom. I don't advocate sex before marriage; I wish I had waited, but I also don't believe one can say how great it will be before they've done it. Good sex requires a lot of communication, an unselfish partner, and a person who is teachable, especially if neither one of them has had sex before. A person can't know for sure if they will have a partner like that until they are in the situation. JMHO.
 
gabulldawg said:
:yep::yep::yep: I think many people take sex too seriously. I definitely agree that it is something that would be better to save until marriage or at least until you find the person you know you are going to marry, but when you wait too long it's like you're asking for trouble! Is that healthy?? Will you be able to even enjoy sex once it actually happens? People definitely need to be careful with exhaulting sex. I waited a long time compared to most people that I know, and it was difficult at first. I can't imagine if I would have waited until my 30's or 40's to have sex... :nono:
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I see what your saying but I believe (not sure) that she is waiting because of religious beliefs. If that's the case then I think God will help her out in that department:lol:
 
How does a virgin know whether waiting is worth it or not? No disrespect, but it seems to me that you can only make that claim, if you waited are now married, and the sex is satisfying.

Also no disrespect, but her views on self-pleasure (I'm not sure if we can use the m-word here) are a little suspect to me. I fully accept that there are reasons (good ones) to wait, but I really can't see how it beenfits you or you future partner to purposefully stifle your natural sexual responses. It may be a little different for men, but I know that women can train themselves to be frigid but shortcutting certain natural responses.

Also, another question, in a world where over 40% of black women have never married (and may never marry) at what point do you cry "UNCLE!"? I didn't catch how old the abstinence lady was, but she strikes me as being in her mid-to-late 30s. That's not the most hope-inspiring situation, IMO.

Also, for the record, I mock no one's choices.
 
sea1980 said:
How does a virgin know whether waiting is worth it or not? No disrespect, but it seems to me that you can only make that claim, if you waited are now married, and the sex is satisfying. .
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You hit it on the head. The author is selling speculation as truth and I find that more than a little unethical.

sea1980 said:
Also, another question, in a world where over 40% of black women have never married (and may never marry) at what point do you cry "UNCLE!"? I didn't catch how old the abstinence lady was, but she strikes me as being in her mid-to-late 30s. That's not the most hope-inspiring situation, IMO.
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:lachen:@ the bolded.
BTW - I'm not mocking anybody's choices either.
 
Y'all watch out. Someone may come in here and jump down your throat, calling your OPINIONS misinformed... :look:
 
gabulldawg said:
Y'all watch out. Someone may come in here and jump down your throat, calling your OPINIONS misinformed... :look:
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I call it all DIRECTLY BY NAME so that there's no room for misunderstanding.

Forgive my incompetency to multiquote, but to Jcoily and sea1980:
my brief response to your points would be that there's a big difference between "stifling" and practicing healthy self-control of one's healthy sexual desires. With regard to the point about the virgin's obvious unawareness about sexual satisfaction, well two things: 1) even a virgin can know what feels good as she (or he) begins their sexual relationship and just like with everything else, such things take time and communication and so on and so forth; and 2) I think locabouthair's response applies, especially if one's choice to wait is on religious/spiritual focus: if one can trust and believe and have faith in the Lord to wait until marriage to have sex, then one has to also trust and believe and have faith that the Lord can bless that sexual relationship.

Finally, with regard to the age factor, all I can say is that I've been there, and I admit that am there, and that's a different conversation that I think needs to occur in a more, how can I say, nurturing, supportive, and conscious environment than this.

I find it unfortunate that this thread has taken the turn it has. Sigh....

Peace out.
 
RelaxerRehab said:
I call it all DIRECTLY BY NAME so that there's no room for misunderstanding.

Forgive my incompetency to multiquote, but to Jcoily and sea1980:
my brief response to your points would be that there's a big difference between "stifling" and practicing healthy self-control of one's healthy sexual desires. With regard to the point about the virgin's obvious unawareness about sexual satisfaction, well two things: 1) even a virgin can know what feels good as she (or he) begins their sexual relationship and just like with everything else, such things take time and communication and so on and so forth; and 2) I think locabouthair's response applies, especially if one's choice to wait is on religious/spiritual focus: if one can trust and believe and have faith in the Lord to wait until marriage to have sex, then one has to also trust and believe and have faith that the Lord can bless that sexual relationship.

Finally, with regard to the age factor, all I can say is that I've been there, and I admit that am there, and that's a different conversation that I think needs to occur in a more, how can I say, nurturing, supportive, and conscious environment than this.

I find it unfortunate that this thread has taken the turn it has. Sigh....

Peace out.
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I think you may have missed my point. I don't doubt that a virgin can feel sexual satisfaction, I just don't feel that a over-30, unmarried, virgin is the right spokesperson for this movement. Not to put too fine a point on it, you wouldn't take tax advice from a person who had been declared bankrupt, right? I'm not saying that this woman is bankrupt, I'm just saying that she has no basis to 'KNOW' whether their is any truth in what she is selling. I undersatnd that she, and millions of other women are taking this on faith, and that's fine, but I think me and others who commented in this thread see a fundamental disconnect here.
 
gabulldawg said:
:yep::yep::yep: I think many people take sex too seriously. I definitely agree that it is something that would be better to save until marriage or at least until you find the person you know you are going to marry, but when you wait too long it's like you're asking for trouble! Is that healthy?? Will you be able to even enjoy sex once it actually happens? People definitely need to be careful with exhaulting sex. I waited a long time compared to most people that I know, and it was difficult at first. I can't imagine if I would have waited until my 30's or 40's to have sex... :nono:
Click to expand...
I can't believe what I just read. :drunk::drunk::drunk: You are entitled to believe what you believe, however.............

Darlin' it IS serious. To be more honest Sex is Sacred and it is a precious gift to be cherished and it should always be regarded as such. The most beautiful treasure that a woman has is her 'Virtue.' Why spread it around like cheap mayonaise.

Sex is also one of the strongest weapons that a woman has over a man. Try and withhold it from him or place him in front of a naked woman.... Ummm Yeah! It's that important, for it brings him to full 'attention."

Not taking sex seriously is why relationships are such a mess. They've taken sex for granted and it's treated more like a trip to McDonalds for a happy meal. It's like french fries, people can't wait to eat them as soon as they get the bag, while they are hot. Yet once they get cold, no body wants them. And you can't re-heat them, for they taste like rubber.

People are sleeping with whoever, whenever, wherever. Where's the beauty in it? Where's the respect? Sex is a beautiful union that brings a man and woman together and it makes them one. Yet, with a loose attitude and regard for sex and its intended purpose, sex has been contaminated. The spreading of STD's should be proof enough.

It's a dangerous thing not to take sex and it's consequences seriously, for it destroys peoples lives...innocent lives. For example, one of the saddest 'love' songs is 'Me and Mrs. Jones' by Billy Paul----

Me and Mrs.Jones -- we got a thing goin'on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it go now

We gotta be extra careful
That do we don't build our hopes up too high
Because she's got her own obligations and so, and so, do I
_________

And people really caught on to this song....:nono::nono::nono::nono::nono:

Red Flag Alert...SEX IS SERIOUS !!!! It's not a Snickers Candy Bar Break. :nono:

How many hearts are broken each day because the sanctity of sex was violated by one's dearly beloved?

The one thing that my husband will know and respect me for is that there was no one else before him. It's THAT SERIOUS! :yep:

I share this in love....Sex does belong on a pedestal. Otherwise no one will respect it. :giveheart:
 
Shimmie said:
I can't believe what I just read. :drunk::drunk::drunk: You are entitled to believe what you believe, however.............

Darlin' it IS serious. To be more honest Sex is Sacred and it is a precious gift to be cherished and it should always be regarded as such. The most beautiful treasure that a woman has is her 'Virtue.' Why spread it around like cheap mayonaise.

Sex is also one of the strongest weapons that a woman has over a man. Try and withhold it from him or place him in front of a naked woman.... Ummm Yeah! It's that important, for it brings him to full 'attention."

Not taking sex seriously is why relationships are such a mess. They've taken sex for granted and it's treated more like a trip to McDonalds for a happy meal. It's like french fries, people can't wait to eat them as soon as they get the bag, while they are hot. Yet once they get cold, no body wants them. And you can't re-heat them, for they taste like rubber.

People are sleeping with whoever, whenever, wherever. Where's the beauty in it? Where's the respect? Sex is a beautiful union that brings a man and woman together and it makes them one. Yet, with a loose attitude and regard for sex and its intended purpose, sex has been contaminated. The spreading of STD's should be proof enough.

It's a dangerous thing not to take sex and it's consequences seriously, for it destroys peoples lives...innocent lives. For example, one of the saddest 'love' songs is 'Me and Mrs. Jones' by Billy Paul----

Me and Mrs.Jones -- we got a thing goin'on
We both know that it's wrong
But it's much too strong to let it go now

We gotta be extra careful
That do we don't build our hopes up too high
Because she's got her own obligations and so, and so, do I
_________

And people really caught on to this song....:nono::nono::nono::nono::nono:

Red Flag Alert...SEX IS SERIOUS !!!! It's not a Snickers Candy Bar Break. :nono:

How many hearts are broken each day because the sanctity of sex was violated by one's dearly beloved?

The one thing that my husband will know and respect me for is that there was no one else before him. It's THAT SERIOUS! :yep:

I share this in love....Sex does belong on a pedestal. Otherwise no one will respect it. :giveheart:
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I believe sex is sacred as well, so we can agree on that. My issue, for lack of a better word, is the messenger and the title of her book. I'm all for virginity going into marriage, but for her to say "The Best Sex of My Life" is like a girl coming out to do your hair on her first day of beauty school, talking about how great of a job she's about to do on your hair. She ain't seen no parts of nobody's hair, and yet, she's about to slap on a relaxer. Um, how about, no thank you, you're not qualified :perplexed . I'd be more receptive to the authors' message had she already been married, was writing to tell others the value of waiting, how she made it through the temptation, and how she and her husband have created a beautiful sexual relationship. I do believe she's more than qualified to teach about how to wait for your husband, though, and maybe that IS what the book is about, but the title throws off something altogether different. JMHO.
 
Much2much41 said:
I believe sex is sacred as well, so we can agree on that. My issue, for lack of a better word, is the messenger and the title of her book. I'm all for virginity going into marriage, but for her to say "The Best Sex of My Life" is like a girl coming out to do your hair on her first day of beauty school, talking about how great of a job she's about to do on your hair. She ain't seen no parts of nobody's hair, and yet, she's about to slap on a relaxer. Um, how about, no thank you, you're not qualified :perplexed . I'd be more receptive to the authors' message had she already been married, was writing to tell others the value of waiting, how she made it through the temptation, and how she and her husband have created a beautiful sexual relationship. I do believe she's more than qualified to teach about how to wait for your husband, though, and maybe that IS what the book is about, but the title throws off something altogether different. JMHO.
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Ok this is the first post that makes sense to me. I get it now.
 
So how many of you have actually read the book? Yes she's a 30-something unwed virgin, that doesn't mean she doesn't no anything about sex in marriage. For all we know, Chapter 3 of the book could be testimonials from women and men who have waited until marriage to have sex. Chapter 4 could be about those who had sex before marriage, entered into a period of willful celibacy then got married and can compare the two sexual experiences. In her 30 something years of virginity she may have amassed a great deal of knowledge about sexual relationships through research and conversations with other people.

As per a poster in my Grade 5 classroom:
A wise man learns from the mistakes of others
An average man learns from his own mistakes
And a fool never learns.

You can also substitute "triumph" for "mistake" and it still applies. I think it's very wise of her to have the foresight that so many people do not have. She is truly inspirational and I will be reading her book soon.

Lys
 
RelaxerRehab said:
I call it all DIRECTLY BY NAME so that there's no room for misunderstanding.

Forgive my incompetency to multiquote, but to Jcoily and sea1980:
my brief response to your points would be that there's a big difference between "stifling" and practicing healthy self-control of one's healthy sexual desires. With regard to the point about the virgin's obvious unawareness about sexual satisfaction, well two things: 1) even a virgin can know what feels good as she (or he) begins their sexual relationship and just like with everything else, such things take time and communication and so on and so forth; and 2) I think locabouthair's response applies, especially if one's choice to wait is on religious/spiritual focus: if one can trust and believe and have faith in the Lord to wait until marriage to have sex, then one has to also trust and believe and have faith that the Lord can bless that sexual relationship.

Finally, with regard to the age factor, all I can say is that I've been there, and I admit that am there, and that's a different conversation that I think needs to occur in a more, how can I say, nurturing, supportive, and conscious environment than this.

I find it unfortunate that this thread has taken the turn it has. Sigh....

Peace out.
Click to expand...

I guess you haven't read the other threads about virginity and abstinence. Someone, generally a non-virgin or someone who is not trying to practice abstinence often comes with discouraging words.

Lys
 
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