interview dating. lol

[Glamorous_chic]

hi ladies. I'm wondering if I"m overreacting or if this is indeed "weird". i met someone about 2 weeks ago, we've talked a bit, but during our first conversation, one of his questions was do you rent or own. erplexed is this what people are asking now??

so today he calls and asks me out, but then he proceeds to ask me to send him a pic. i'm verryy paranoid, and told him i neither send pics out, nor do i have any pics on my phone, and with my carrier i cant send pics to other carriers (which is true). so we get into an arguement b/c he doesnt understand why i cant just send him a picture. so that makes me start to erplexed b/c of his arguementative tone, when i told him no. so then im thinking do you not remember what i looked like when u met me? then he starts asking, so what exactly do you do at work. i tell him general info, but nothing to specific. but he wants specifics and asks if im a file clerk. well at that point, i told him i'd call him back. i started thinking if maybe i overreacted and am being irrational. but, i was getting very irritated, and realized that i was getting upset b/c of his line of questioning. it wasnt conversational, it was more like an interview, which is what make me not really want to get into specifics. this is why i hate dating. ugh.

 

[ThickHair]

I wouldn't ask the rent or own question, but I see no reason to not ask important questions. You don't have to tell him where you work, but what is the problem with you telling him what you do, unless you got an undercover, secret job.

Yes, I get all the important questions out of the way by date 3, the latest. That is me though.

 

[Ramya]

There's a way to do it like instead of asking "Did you go to college?" ask "What was your college experience like?" or instead of "Where do you work" ask "What do you like about your field?" Conversational v. yes/no checklist questions. It can make a world of difference.

 

[Dellas]

People are doing that now to eliminate people. My friend was asked how much she had in student loans one the first date. She got angry. There was not a second date. I have to admit I use to do this: Do you have Children? Where did you graduate from College? Do you have a business degree or Professional degree? ....I am perplexed about it. I missed out on some good guys out of fear but they were not ready for a relationship at that time. I kinda wished someone else could ask these questions for me before we even meet. That is my problem with eharmony....they have preset questions.
They don't even allow me to eliminate guys with kids just guys that have kids that stay at home with him.

 

[LiberianGirl]

There's a way to do it like instead of asking "Did you go to college?" ask "What was your college experience like?" or instead of "Where do you work" ask "What do you like about your field?" Conversational v. yes/no checklist questions. It can make a world of difference.

ITA, there's nothing wrong with asking questions in order to get to know someone better but you need to be tactful about it. This guys sounds really rude and demanding.

 

[Dellas]

There's a way to do it like instead of asking "Did you go to college?" ask "What was your college experience like?" or instead of "Where do you work" ask "What do you like about your field?" Conversational v. yes/no checklist questions. It can make a world of difference.

I agree with you.... You have to phase it in a roundabout way:

Do you think a college degree is necessary in life?
What's your 5 year plan?
What your most important accomplishment in your life?

I don't know how to ask ...Do you have kids in a roundabout way.

 

[Glamorous_chic]

I wouldn't ask the rent or own question, but I see no reason to not ask important questions. You don't have to tell him where you work, but what is the problem with you telling him what you do, unless you got an undercover, secret job.

Yes, I get all the important questions out of the way by date 3, the latest. That is me though.

my problem is we haven't been on date 1 yet. this was our first phone conversation that he asked if i rented or owned. i dont have a problem telling him what i do, i think it was moreso the way the question was asked that completly turned me from to erplexed. i should add he is Caribbean, so perhaps its a cultural difference. but still. i felt like i was on a job interview, not having a conversation.

 

[Taliah]

Too many questions in two weeks. Too soon to be starting an argument because you said no.
He's a jerk.

 

[Duchesse]

I agree w/Taliah. It is a very bad sign if before you even really know someone you have a slight argument due to his tone. Personally, I'm getting tired of the "interview" tone that many men seem to have these days. There is nothing wrong with finding out info, but I don't like feeling like I'm being sized up and categorized so early on.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

Let this pass...no date and he's already arguing...we get mad when we look down the line and see we wasted 8 months on someone who showed their true colors from the beginning

 

[laCriolla]

NEXT!!

you didn't overreact. he has no tact, pretty much what everyone else said.
This is becoming quite common.

I had a guy ask for a 'headshot and resume' to SEE if he wanted to date me. he already knew I went to a top 10 school and that I have a professional degree. But he wanted the resume and headshot nonetheless.

I politely told him that he was going into this the wrong way, (in a controlling way) and that anyone I'd consider dating would see me as his equal and give me a chance to evaluate whether I, too wanted to open up to him, instead of it being so one sided. The thought of 'winning' a chance to ask HIM questions, I just couldn't get with that. Yes, my resume is great, but I have a good heart and mind and you can't see that on a resume. I am an asset to people in other ways that won't appear on a resume. His elitism shown by the request just blows me out the water. Everyone has wroth and value.

well, after that note he said he wanted to date me. too late.

 

[Glamorous_chic]

thanks ladies. thats apart of the reason why i got off the phone. i was getting really irritated. this btw is not the first "arguement" we've had. he went off on this tangent about why christians go to church on sunday vs saturday. and i gave my opinion, and he went off about how i obviously dont know anything about the bible nor do i go to church. so today was the final straw. and you're right, people show you who they are. its up to us to watch and listen. and i've listened. no way no how. lol thanks ladies.

 

[lux10023]

i would check him real quick and break it down for homeboy---and then if he doesnt change after that one convo--then on to the next

some ppl feel ike their delivery is the best--even my butt--but when someone checks me--and i actually care--i alter my tone and etc a bit

 

[LadyPaniolo]

I'm glad you are letting this one go. He's shown you already that he is arrogant, demanding and snide. Those are character traits that do not make for a happy relationship,

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

He is a insecure man.When you can't communicate without arguing there is a serious problem.Im glad God put the warning signs out early and you had a discerning spirt to pick them up and run like hell..I had a incident with a man early this year who within 48 hours had some serious drama..I politely declined all calls,emailed him and went on my way..

 

[moonglowdiva]

Your first reaction was the right reaction. From what you have said, his motives might need to be questioned.I wouldn't go out with him at all and I wouldn't answer my phone when he call. Argument are a bad sign and you just met this guy . This was a sign that he may not be the one for you. Keep praying and keep watching . Good Luck on the dating scene.