InterOffice Romance :)

JewelleNY

JewelleNY

Well-Known Member
Anyone care to share your experiences??? :)

I am currently dating a coworker and it is so strange at times. We go out at night and the have to act like virtual strangers the next day.

It is frustrating, my decision, but I don't like it :(

Anyone else have a similar experience? how did you handle it??
 
I have one, although it wasn't an "office".

My 40 y/o ex was my supervisor at Marshalls. I worked there during my breaks from college between 19-21. I developed a crush on him, for some reason got bold enough to tell him (I thought he was gonna say I was too young for him, I was 21, he was 32). I was wrong- he started asking me out and I turned him down for 2 months.

We kept it on the low but people suspected there was something going on. All the older women were in like in love with him so they hated me. When we both worked nights, I would wait down the street and around the corner so we could leave together. I wasn't used to having to do all that so it was awkward.
 
I'd share my story BUT I'd have to go into the witness protection program.:driver:

Naw, thanks...:giggle:

Hey, Jewelle...:wave:
 
dlewis said:
Who are you dating JNY?
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A coworker, my 3 year crush :look: We have been dating about a month but the "at work" part is a bit of a challenge:ohwell: I feel like everyone knows and I hate for my business to out there like that at work.
 
MzLady78 said:
I have one, although it wasn't an "office".

My 40 y/o ex was my supervisor at Marshalls. I worked there during my breaks from college between 19-21. I developed a crush on him, for some reason got bold enough to tell him (I thought he was gonna say I was too young for him, I was 21, he was 32). I was wrong- he started asking me out and I turned him down for 2 months.

We kept it on the low but people suspected there was something going on. All the older women were in like in love with him so they hated me. When we both worked nights, I would wait down the street and around the corner so we could leave together. I wasn't used to having to do all that so it was awkward.
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How did it end, do you feel that having to be in that environment caused more problems for the relationship?

That is similar to my office. Mostly women and he is a cutie. I told him I want to be nuetral at work but people keep asking questions because he is so obvious. I don't think he cares because he is a guy but I do. I want this to work so I am concerned.
 
dlewis said:
3 year cruch. Go head girl.:grin: I'm sure no one knows.
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nah, they do :rolleyes: My office mates tease me whenever he stops by to say hi. He watches me so hard that once he ran into the janitor and a few people saw :giggle: Quite a few girls like him so I don't want any issues in that area. But, I hate having to be so neutral around a guy that I really like, especially after being so intimate with him the day before :ohwell:
 
JewelleNY said:
nah, they do :rolleyes: My office mates tease me whenever he stops by to say hi. He watches me so hard that once he ran into the janitor and a few people saw :giggle: Quite a few girls like him so I don't want any issues in that area. But, I hate having to be so neutral around a guy that I really like, especially after being so intimate with him the day before :ohwell:
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This sounds like it would be frustrating. :ohwell: I guess I see why companies have that no fraternization rule. Are there any job-related consequences for the two of you putting your relationship out in the open? That may be the best thing if you don't want to sneak around. If there are consequences, I guess it's better to pretend like it's not going on. But I do think that would put stress on the relationship.
 
I have not, but I work for a large organization and there are many, many married and dating couples here. Both of my supervisor's husbands work here. One of my co-workers husband works here and another co-worker is dating someone here. In my dad's office two of his co-workers just got married and their offices are right next to each other. It can work I believe you just have to work not to show a whole lot of emotion in front of everyone and don't tell co-workers anything about your relationship (although they are going to have fun speculating and teasing you all because this is what happened with the couple in my dad's office)
 
gabulldawg said:
This sounds like it would be frustrating. :ohwell: I guess I see why companies have that no fraternization rule. Are there any job-related consequences for the two of you putting your relationship out in the open? That may be the best thing if you don't want to sneak around. If there are consequences, I guess it's better to pretend like it's not going on. But I do think that would put stress on the relationship.
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I don't think there are any consequences to us dating but it is just very awkward. I am such a private person on the job.
 
spelmanlocks said:
I have not, but I work for a large organization and there are many, many married and dating couples here. Both of my supervisor's husbands work here. One of my co-workers husband works here and another co-worker is dating someone here. In my dad's office two of his co-workers just got married and their offices are right next to each other. It can work I believe you just have to work not to show a whole lot of emotion in front of everyone and don't tell co-workers anything about your relationship (although they are going to have fun speculating and teasing you all because this is what happened with the couple in my dad's office)
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Wow, that's a lot of interoffice romance, what type of organization is that? :lol:

My office is pretty small and we all know each other. Good to hear that it can work out though :)
 
I had a similar experience as Mzlady, at least the age thing. He was 32 I was 21, and I was an intern and he was an attorney. there was no consequences to us being public with us dating, but we mutally decided not to since it would've looked way worse for me. It was very difficult to maintain the friend thing while at work when I would spend so much time with him outside of work. It was a touch complicated, but it was also really fun since we would do little stairway meetups and sending each other fun texts, and we still had lunch together.

I don't know if anybody knew... Some ppl asked him questions, but he always brushed them off. He ended up quitting like two months after we started "dating", for unrelated reasons, but we still kept things under wraps. We were together about 8 months after that and have been on and off, but I've still never said anything to any of my co workers. It's messed up though b/c he'll still stop the office just ot get a rise out of me.:nono:
 
sunnydaze said:
LOL..cute!!:grin:
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Yea, I try to pretend I don't notice but once he was walking by looking at me and I am trying not to look at I hear a loud bang and he has run into the janitor and knocked his broom and dust pan over :grin: My coworker says when she is talking to him he is looking at me, both my office mates say it is so obvious but I continue to deny! :nono: I want to tell him to be more careful but it is kinda cute
 
It can be difficult especially if the company has rules against it - fear of getting caught can make you paranoid. However this is the fun part. The reason it's not such a good idea is when the "honeymoon period" is over and there's trouble in your relationship and you have to deal with seeing him and communicating with him in a conducive manner when really all you feel like doing is throwing a book at his head:lachen: Enjoy the good part while it last and be careful. :grin:
 
bLackButtaFly said:
I had a similar experience as Mzlady, at least the age thing. He was 32 I was 21, and I was an intern and he was an attorney. there was no consequences to us being public with us dating, but we mutally decided not to since it would've looked way worse for me. It was very difficult to maintain the friend thing while at work when I would spend so much time with him outside of work. It was a touch complicated, but it was also really fun since we would do little stairway meetups and sending each other fun texts, and we still had lunch together.

I don't know if anybody knew... Some ppl asked him questions, but he always brushed them off. He ended up quitting like two months after we started "dating", for unrelated reasons, but we still kept things under wraps. We were together about 8 months after that and have been on and off, but I've still never said anything to any of my co workers. It's messed up though b/c he'll still stop the office just ot get a rise out of me.:nono:
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Do you feel having to be secretive about the relationship had any effect on the outcome of the relationship?
 
trini_rican said:
It can be difficult especially if the company has rules against it - fear of getting caught can make you paranoid. However this is the fun part. The reason it's not such a good idea is when the "honeymoon period" is over and there's trouble in your relationship and you have to deal with seeing him and communicating with him in a conducive manner when really all you feel like doing is throwing a book at his head:lachen: Enjoy the good part while it last and be careful. :grin:
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trini rican i love your new picture. you are so pretty.
 
JewelleNY said:
Do you feel having to be secretive about the relationship had any effect on the outcome of the relationship?
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No, not really. We broke up for age difference reasons. The secret part made it really fun, and something neither of us will ever forget, but on the otherhand it probably wasn't something I could've done too long term. Once i fell for him it was really hard to keep it to myself, so I don't think I would've been able to hide it if he was still working with me.

I think the workplace is a great place to meet someone with similar interests and mate potential. If it's allowed in the company,
 
JewelleNY said:
A coworker, my 3 year crush :look: We have been dating about a month but the "at work" part is a bit of a challenge:ohwell: I feel like everyone knows and I hate for my business to out there like that at work.
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Jewelle! Is this the guy we were discussing in the thread about not being able to attract "the good ones"? The thread you started a little over a month back? That's awesome! :yep:

I have dated a man in my workplace. We dated for 2 years while keeping it secret and then another half a year it was out in the open then six more months after he left our place of business and moved out of state. It was TOUGH. :sad: One thing I will say is definitely keep it top secret in the office like your life depended on it. People have a way of wanting in on the action when they find out...they wanna be in your business or shake up what you have going. Also, you don't want anyone looking to see how the relationship will affect the dynamics in the office (who is favoring whom and whatnot) And, you guys have to agree to have a very authentic and honest relationship where you put a lot of work into the friendship part so that if it breaks up, it won't be because someone was being grimy and you both and continue to show respect to each other in the workplace.
 
CantBeCopied said:
Jewelle! Is this the guy we were discussing in the thread about not being able to attract "the good ones"? The thread you started a little over a month back? That's awesome! :yep:

I have dated a man in my workplace. We dated for 2 years while keeping it secret and then another half a year it was out in the open then six more months after he left our place of business and moved out of state. It was TOUGH. :sad: One thing I will say is definitely keep it top secret in the office like your life depended on it. People have a way of wanting in on the action when they find out...they wanna be in your business or shake up what you have going. Also, you don't want anyone looking to see how the relationship will affect the dynamics in the office (who is favoring whom and whatnot) And, you guys have to agree to have a very authentic and honest relationship where you put a lot of work into the friendship part so that if it breaks up, it won't be because someone was being grimy and you both and continue to show respect to each other in the workplace.
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Hey CBC, it is the same guy :grin: Who knew, life is funny like that :)

That's too bad that yoru relationship did not work out, long distance is extremely challenging to a relationship. I agree with people wanting to be in on the action so to speak, I don't like the idea of being office gossip, I have been there already and it is no fun.

I really agree with the bolded, I think that is somethin I really need to address, great advice, thanks! :)
 
hi jewelle!

im glad you found someone you like. But like CBC said keep it as private as possible. don't tell your coworkers ANYTHING!!:nono: and try to be as discrete as you can.
 
Jewelle, I'm so happy for you. :yep:

I vote for keeping it private except it looks like the jig is up. :lachen: Its great when the guy is so smitten like this. My concern is if keeping it so tightly under wraps affects the relationship from developing as it normally would, you know? Usually, you two would talk during the day and such, but you're having to curtail that kind of behavior.
 
I dated and married in the workplace. I've shared my story before, let me see if I can dig it up.

It will work out, so try to focus on the positive things like this new budding relationship! I'm so happy for you, I think that thread you started before had a lot of good advice regarding your crush and now look! I loves it!!!
 
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