I'M UPSET. . . AGAIN

[diamondlady]

After not seeing my stylist for months (due to some personal problems) I was able to get back into the salon in July of this year. I knew she was going to want to trim my ends and they were ragged, but I was totally unprepared for a the CUT she said I needed. 3" needed to be cut. She was able to convince me and I let her cut the three inches.

Now what upset me . . . Last week she tells me I need 2" cut, I reminded her that she just cut 3" in July, she told me she DID NOT. I tried to make her remember by recanting the conversion but she insists that she DID NOT CUT 3" and she definately needed to cut 2 inches. Then her aunt chimed in with she couldn't have cut 2 inches and have my ends look like they look now. (Family owned salon).

Now I know I'm not crazy. When I got home I started looking at pictures before the cut and I thought maybe I'll show her these pictures and she'll remember, then I thought, forget it. I'm NOT GOING BACK. She knows I'm trying to grow my hair and she keeps wanting to chop it off. (by the way, she just chopped off her hair to like stubbles and goes to the barber each week for a hair cut) How can she understand how I feel about the length of my hair when she doesn't care about the length of her own hair.

 

[karezone]

Say firmly like you are speaking to child throwing a tantrum "I do not want nor need a trim or cut. If you proceed to cut or trim my hair in any way, I will not pay for my salon services and will file a report with the state board of cosmetology. I will also tell everyone that I know not to come to you for hair service."

As you can tell I don't play about hair cutting. If you don't want it, don't get it and don't let her convince you that you need something when you don't. Also there are hair haters. Maybe you should see less of her and her scissors.

 

[ekomba]

wowww i feel for u girl 3"inch thats a lot than 2" on top of that. dont go to her no more and avoid scissor happy stylists at any costs matter of fact if u have any long haired friends or see someone with length and nice ends i would ask them who they go to me . it reminded me when i just came to the us with shoulder permed hair the stylist told me she needed to cut the ends she said dont move and put me with the back facing the mirror i could not see girl if i tell u when she turned me my hair was short cropped no hair in my back shaved i never ask for a cut she said i had to trim the hair i refused she insisted she said she knows better shes licensed. after she said oh it will grow u needed it i started to cry. but now i just know if u feel like the stylist is just bossing you around and dont care for your growth or if her hair is busted do not let them treat your hair. hopefully girl it will grow back and dont go to her no more cause its easy to be influenced and if we dont speak up cause we afraid they have the last word. big hugggs

 

[Mystic]

I so hear you and feel your pain because the same thing happened to me. Read this thread.., (copy it and paste it in the search criteria) it might make you feel better and give you advice on what you need to do....
Ho do you tell a persistent hairdresser no without feeling bad?

 

[indefinite]

I usually get my ends dusted at a white salon like Dass at the mall. So by time I go to my regular hair dresser they never look raggedy or in need of a trim. The white folks do exactly what you tell them no more no less. They aren't scissor happy. It's a win win situation. Then you can tell your stylist, you just had them done. That will shut her up

 

[karezone]

I so hear you and feel your pain because the same thing happened to me. Read this thread.., (copy it and paste it in the search criteria) it might make you feel better and give you advice on what you need to do....
Ho do you tell a persistent hairdresser no without feeling bad?

Just say NO.

Why shoud you feel bad?

If you went to the club and the bartender kept saying that you need drinks that you do not want, would you feel bad if you said no to him.

Just remember she is just like your mechanic and plumber. A service person if you don't want the service just don't get it.

 

[mochamadness]

I'm sorry to hear about your experience. I had a stylist very similar to yours. Everytime I went to the salon, she always wanted to cut my hair. My hair length stayed the same for a few years because everytime it started to show some length, she would chop it off due to some so called damage! My advice would be to stop going to her! I know it's hard finding a good stylist, but she obviously doesn't care about the goals that you're trying to set for your hair.

 

[CandiceC]

I got my hair relaxed the other day and when she said "And you're getting a trim correct?" (She hadn't even looked at my hair yet) I said "No. Not this time."
I think I'm just going to start trimming my hair myself so I won't have to talk about trims with stylists every time I go in for a relaxer.

 

[Mystic]

It's easier for you to say this because you are not in her shoes neither were you in mine. Of course we say no but the fact that we allow them to change our minds into cutting our hair is the problem. It was a problem for me and the answers I got from the ladies were encouraging and I know it would be helpful to her as well. You cannot just shout out to someone to just say no because you are capable of doing it. For some people fighting with a hairdresser is uncomfortable and we are learning how to handle that discomfort be it stop going or facing the problem head on.

Just say NO.

Why shoud you feel bad?

If you went to the club and the bartender kept saying that you need drinks that you do not want, would you feel bad if you said no to him.

Just remember she is just like your mechanic and plumber. A service person if you don't want the service just don't get it.

 

[diamondlady]

Thanks to all who responded.

I love my hair and I told my stylist that. I don't trust many people with my hair, I told her that also. I shared my hair goals with her, the fact that I wanted to grow my hair back, not the length that I wanted. I have treated her very, very well, with tips and occasionally I bring her food (you know they work so long and so hard, it's hard for them to get to lunch).

After not seeing her for a while, she was sweet and very professional but after going every week since July, she started getting too familiar, again. I think that some stylist forget that YOU ARE THE CUSTOMER and you should get what you ask for.

I love the results when she does my hair-- silky, bouncy, and so much body, but I think I'll take Mochamadness' advice and stop going to her. I'll do my own for a while.

 

[indefinite]

I just faced something similar to this a couple of minutes ago. I went to get a facial and she tried to sell me into getting a package paying for six sessions ahead of time, then she tried to strong arm me into buying her products. She already had the products out with the bag with the tissue paper ready to go

 

[Isis]

Say firmly like you are speaking to child throwing a tantrum "I do not want nor need a trim or cut. If you proceed to cut or trim my hair in any way, I will not pay for my salon services and will file a report with the state board of cosmetology. I will also tell everyone that I know not to come to you for hair service."

As you can tell I don't play about hair cutting. If you don't want it, don't get it and don't let her convince you that you need something when you don't. Also there are hair haters. Maybe you should see less of her and her scissors.

ITA with you Karezone, including what you said about the importance of saying "NO". It may feel uncomfortable at first for some who are just learning but after setting these boundaries as often as necessary, it eventually it feels and becomes empowering.

 

[indefinite]

ITA with you Karezone, including what you said about the importance of saying "NO". It may feel uncomfortable at first for some who are just learning but after setting these boundaries as often as necessary, it eventually it feels and becomes empowering.

I used to have that problem. But now I am in my 30's it's real easy to say no. I think it comes with time for some people..........

 

[karezone]

I used to feel bad about saying no to people but then I learned that I was the one who was being hurt by my inability to say no. Sometimes you just have to do what is best for you and in some instances hurting someones feelings is what happens when you do what is best for yourself.

 

[diamondlady]

I used to feel bad about saying no to people but then I learned that I was the one who was being hurt by my inability to say no. Sometimes you just have to do what is best for you and in some instances hurting someones feelings is what happens when you do what is best for yourself.

Sometimes I think that this is a person I'm entrusting my precious hair to. If I embarrass her or make her mad, she may decide to do something terrible to my hair as revenge. After all, we don't always know what they are putting in our hair. I know that seems strange but things like that happen.

I've seen some pretty awful things happen in the salon. I once saw a stylist tell a girl she needed a trim and preceded to cut off this lady's long beautiful hair. The lady started crying and saying her husband was going to be upset with her. The stylist apologized then said "Oh, don't worry it will grow back and let me just put in a couple of tracks 'til it does. Girl believe me, your husband will never even know".

After the lady left, the stylist perceived to brag about how much money she had made from cutting off this lady's hair and selling her weave.

 

[CandiceC]

Sometimes I think that this is a person I'm entrusting my precious hair to. If I embarrass her or make her mad, she may decide to do something terrible to my hair as revenge. After all, we don't always know what they are putting in our hair. I know that seems strange but things like that happen.

I've seen some pretty awful things happen in the salon. I once saw a stylist tell a girl she needed a trim and preceded to cut off this lady's long beautiful hair. The lady started crying and saying her husband was going to be upset with her. The stylist apologized then said "Oh, don't worry it will grow back and let me just put in a couple of tracks 'til it does. Girl believe me, your husband will never even know".

After the lady left, the stylist perceived to brag about how much money she had made from cutting off this lady's hair and selling her weave.

 

[karezone]

yeah. some stylists do crooked things like what you described but if you are afraid that someone is going to mess you up on purpose because you don't agree with their assesment don't let them care for your hair. Or only let them do certain things.

I think that there is one member who has several stylists. One that does good trims, one that does good relaxers, and one that is good at wash and styling.

 

[ekomba]

Sometimes I think that this is a person I'm entrusting my precious hair to. If I embarrass her or make her mad, she may decide to do something terrible to my hair as revenge. After all, we don't always know what they are putting in our hair. I know that seems strange but things like that happen.

I've seen some pretty awful things happen in the salon. I once saw a stylist tell a girl she needed a trim and preceded to cut off this lady's long beautiful hair. The lady started crying and saying her husband was going to be upset with her. The stylist apologized then said "Oh, don't worry it will grow back and let me just put in a couple of tracks 'til it does. Girl believe me, your husband will never even know".

After the lady left, the stylist perceived to brag about how much money she had made from cutting off this lady's hair and selling her weave.

wowwwwwwwwwwwwww that so messed up u make quick bucks in a minute but lose a customer for life how pathetic is that man

 

[diamondlady]

yeah. some stylists do crooked things like what you described but if you are afraid that someone is going to mess you up on purpose because you don't agree with their assesment don't let them care for your hair. Or only let them do certain things.

I think that there is one member who has several stylists. One that does good trims, one that does good relaxers, and one that is good at wash and styling.

How do you know who you can trust???

I had a good friend who became a stylist and she told me all the tricks they were teaching her in school. She seemed truly disgusted. Things like "Talk your clients into a light hair colors so they will have to come back often for touch ups on the color". Then she said she would never do anything like that when she got into the salon. She said if it's not flatterening to the person, she would not suggest it.

Then when she got into the salon she start employing all the tricks they taught her. When I confronted her about it, she told me she had to make a living.

 

[SerenityBreeze]

Hey i feel you 100%. I had to stop going to stylist for cuts or trims all together. I suggest you master the art of dusting your ends. You will notice the growth and if you are on top of the dusting, little by little, you will get rid of any raggedy ends (if any) without noticing inches and inches of hair loss.

I find too that, by doing it little by little, it gives me the courage (once and a while) to cut 1/2 inch off.

Good Luck!

 

[indefinite]

How do you know who you can trust???

I had a good friend who became a stylist and she told me all the tricks they were teaching her in school. She seemed truly disgusted. Things like "Talk your clients into a light hair colors so they will have to come back often for touch ups on the color". Then she said she would never do anything like that when she got into the salon. She said if it's not flatterening to the person, she would not suggest it.

Then when she got into the salon she start employing all the tricks they taught her. When I confronted her about it, she told me she had to make a living.

It's just like waiting tables. To make a better tip, you suggest alcohol. That will plump up a check quick!

 

[diamondlady]

wowwwwwwwwwwwwww that so messed up u make quick bucks in a minute but lose a customer for life how pathetic is that man

Just to prove what goes around, comes around, this stylist (who was too, too ghetto) lost her space in that shop for doing some of things she was doing. She had a bad reputation and hard time getting into another shop.

 

[morehairplease]

How do you know who you can trust???

I had a good friend who became a stylist and she told me all the tricks they were teaching her in school. She seemed truly disgusted. Things like "Talk your clients into a light hair colors so they will have to come back often for touch ups on the color". Then she said she would never do anything like that when she got into the salon. She said if it's not flatterening to the person, she would not suggest it.

Then when she got into the salon she start employing all the tricks they taught her. When I confronted her about it, she told me she had to make a living.

I was in a salon one day,in my stylist/owner of the salon chair, and overheard her & one of the other stylist discussing doing this to their clients....that was my LAST day going to her. *Pats self on back*

 

[determine3]

I guess the problems are worldwide-I thought it was only me!! I remember a few years back, after growing my hair to approx. shoulder length with braids i relaxed my hair but didn't like that it had absolutely no body. I have a friend who always had hairstyles i loved so i decided to do this cut (which was about chin length). She took me to her stylist. Well, I noticed chopping and chopping and was thinking in my head that the style was being cut way shorter than what i asked. There were so many people there staring and I didn't speak up. Well, after he was done, my hair was cut so short with long pcs. at the side. He said because I was tall and have a heart shape face, he wanted to give me a style that was striking and would draw attention to my face!! I was so mad but I didn't say a word. Lesson learned though, now I speak up!!!!! I don't really go to stylists anymore but the lady who trimmed my hair 3 weeks ago was great. She trimmed very little and told me she would keep doing so for me until my hair evened up!!!!!!!

Sorry to hear about your bad experience! Great decision not going back there.

 

[karezone]

Personally I trust no one.

I come in and get what I want done. I watch them like hawks, make them turn me toward the mirror so I can see what they are doing to my head and I tell them so. I don't care what they learned, where they learned it, or how long they have been doing hair. I know that I will be the one who will end up dissatisfied and out money if I let them do what they want.

First is to come in knowing what you want exactly. telling it to the stylist and making sure she understands. I think that they sometimes can identify the insecure and home in on it.

Remember they are a service provider like any other.

As to the trims and cuts. I get cuts at a salon and try to do my own trims. If you are afraid to do your own trims get a friend to help. show them how much you want took off and go for it.

 

[CandiceC]

Are you ladies telling your stylists why you stopped going to them?

When I left my former (scissor happy) stylist she wanted to tell my coworker she didn't know why I stopped coming to her. She knew I was upset about her chopping on my hair even though I told her no. (She had already trimmed my hair three weeks before and four weeks before that.)
I made sure she knew I was upset with my body language. I'm nonconfrontational so I was real quiet, paid and went to leave. She tried to play it off like she wanted to talk some more, asking me casual questions she had already asked earlier. Yeah right. She knew she shouldn't have pulled those scissors out after I told her no.

 

[tenderheaded]

Ladies, before I discovered LHCF, I thought I was paranoid. No way could a professional stylist screw up my hair worst than I ever could, but they did, and on more than one occasion. A few years back I had kept my hair braided and wigged and it was to my shoulder blades. The first thing she did was "trim". It did look good. Less than 3 weeks later I went in for a wash and set and she started to put more relaxer in my hair !!! Said she wouldn't charge me for it, that it was ok because she had underprocessed the ends. AND THEN SHE CUTS AGAIN!!!!.
Needless to say, that was my last trip to her. It has taken me years to say no.

 

[Yellowflowers]

Say firmly like you are speaking to child throwing a tantrum "I do not want nor need a trim or cut. If you proceed to cut or trim my hair in any way, I will not pay for my salon services and will file a report with the state board of cosmetology. I will also tell everyone that I know not to come to you for hair service."

As you can tell I don't play about hair cutting. If you don't want it, don't get it and don't let her convince you that you need something when you don't. Also there are hair haters. Maybe you should see less of her and her scissors.

I totally agree. Well said! Feel empowered to speak up for what you want. You should not have to pay someone who does not respect what you want.

 

[qtgirl]

I know it's hard to say no to stylists esp. since I'm a non-confrontational person and like someone else said I'm sometimes afraid they'll really try and jack me up because of something I said to them.

I do my own trims and dustings and I believe that stylists at Dominican salons are less likely to trim your hair without it really needing it. A lot of them have long hair themselves and both like and respect long hair, so they're not cutting just for fun.

 

[LovelyZ]

Everytime I go to the hair salon the stylist tells me I need a trim. And her idea of a trim and my idea of a trim is always different. What really makes me mad is that she always say "it's just hair" or "I'm only cutting a little bit" like that's supposed to soften the blow. I'm so frustrated with the whole thing I trim my own hair. I don't trust any stylists to do it. They go overboard with the "trimming".