I'm starting to regret relaxing my hair

[Rose1]

I spent more than 10 years with natural hair. I either twisted my own hair or wore braids or twists with extensions which really grew my hair. In June of last year I decided to take the plunge and relaxed my hair. I guess the honeymoon is over! Now that I am experiencing some breakage in some areas leaving one side of my hair shorter is than the other and the middle is starting to thin a little. I wish I'd have kept my hair natural. Since discovering LHCF (after relaxing my hair!) it's made me realise that there are so many other styles I could have tried with my natural hair. I'm seriously considering going natural if after I have braided or twisted (with extensions) for two/three months my hair is still breaking. I'll also be using JBCO (I got 2 large bottles when I was in Jamaica over christmas after recs on LHCF) religiously during this time in the hope that my hair strenthens.

Does anyone else regret relaxing their hair?

 

[Triniwegian]

Yep, I did but then I transitioned.
All you gotta do is transition, you know what you are getting yourself into since you know your natural texture.
Whatever you decide to do, whether it is to remain relaxed or go natural, it is enough knowledge and help on this site for you to beautiful healthy hair either way.

Good luck to you!!

 

[Firstborn2]

Rose, I'm sorry you aren't having any good results with the relaxer, but there are a lot of women on this board who are relaxed and are having a lot of success, maybe you can do a search. Goodluck with your decision

 

[NikStarrr]

Don't feel bad. Maybe do some research, like the PP said, on other relaxed head's regimens. Maybe that can help with the breakage. Plus, transitioning is always an option. If you really think relaxing was a mistake--transition!

 

[pookaloo83]

I regret it too. That's why I'm transitioning again. My hair is not healthy right now and the relaxer has broke it off tremendously.

 

[Rose1]

I guess the real reason I'm starting to regret relaxing my hair is because it started to go wrong after starting out perfectly. I know a lot of people who have had great success relaxing. My cousin has relaxed hair and her hair is super thick, strong and healthy. She said that while she relaxed she twisted her hair (without extensions) for about two year and now has hair just pass her shoulders. I'm so envious!

 

[Dani.Nicole]

I guess the real reason I'm starting to regret relaxing my hair is because it started to go wrong after starting out perfectly. I know a lot of people who have had great success relaxing. My cousin has relaxed hair and her hair is super thick, strong and healthy. She said that while she relaxed she twisted her hair (without extensions) for about two year and now has hair just pass her shoulders. I'm so envious!

If you don't mind me asking, what's your regimen if you have one at all? Do you use a lot of heat? Do you deep condition? Is the root of your problem the relaxer itself, or is your practices ON TOP of the relaxer? That'll help you decide the next steps you should take.

 

[jwhitley6]

I regretted it and quickly transitioned...only had one touch-up. I cut it into a cute style and kept trimming until I was relaxer free in 8 months. Sometimes I miss my cute short hair.

 

[Rose1]

If you don't mind me asking, what's your regimen if you have one at all? Do you use a lot of heat? Do you deep condition? Is the root of your problem the relaxer itself, or is your practices ON TOP of the relaxer? That'll help you decide the next steps you should take.

I only use heat when I dry my hair (using a heat protector) I DC once a week. I alternate between protein and moisture, and then use Aphogee Pro Vitamin leave in conditioner, ORS Olive Oil Hair Moisturizing Lotion and recently started using JBCO. I tend to wrap my hair. Today I twisted my own hair and plan to keep this in for a week or two.

I have the following product in my bathroom, obviously I do not use them all at once!:

Dr Miracle's Temple & Nape Gro Balm
Aphoghee Shampoo for damaged hair
Aphogee Pro Vitamin leave in conditioner
Aphogee Keratin 2 Minute Reconstructor
Aphogee Deep Moisture Shampoo
Doo Gro Mega Thich Intensive Repair Conditioner
Doo Gro Growth Oil - Easy to apply when wearing a weave.
Doo Gro Leave in Conditioner Treatment
Doo Gro Medicate Hair Vitalizer
Aveda Brilliant Shampoo
Aveda Damage Remedy Intensive Reconstructing Treatment
Black & Sassy Wrap Creme
Black & Sassy Wrap Sheen
IC Hair Polisher
Elasta QP Glaze
Africare Silk Spray
ORS Olive Oil Hair Moisturizing Lotion
Africa's Best Organics Horsetail & Rosemary Hair Revitilizer - Does not contain mineral oil or petroleum.
Africa's Best Organics Carrot Oil Cream - Does not contain mineral oil or petroleum.
Africa's Best Leave in Hair Mayonnaise
Africa's Best Organic Olive Oil Deep Conditioner
Motions Marula Natural Hair Therapy Hair & Scalp Oil. I used this when I had the weave.
JBCO

I have also been told that the breakage could be due to stress. I lost a close relative just before I started to relax last year and have been feeling very down and also lost a lot of weight due to loss of appetite. My appetite has now come back. I guess maybe I should have waited a while before relaxing as my body has been under a lot of stress over the past few month due to grieving.

 

[Afrolinda]

Wow, I always say that I want to relax in a two years. But now I'm having some doubts. I hope you will transition, I also had a setback recently.

 

[Junebug D]

Some people experience breakage from wrapping too often, especially if you wrap in the same direction. Do you protective style at all?

 

[Rose1]

Some people experience breakage from wrapping too often, especially if you wrap in the same direction. Do you protective style at all?

I mainly wrap, but I change direction every so often. I have tried pincurls and as I'm so bad at rollersetting, I tried ponytail rollersetting last week.

 

[**SaSSy**]

sorry that you're having setback with your relaxed hair. Relaxing, or even being natural is not for everyone but with the help with education it can help you understand which choice is right for you. If you despise relaxed hair that badly you should transition. If you are having really bad damage from your relaxed hair you should baby your hair.

 

[jada1111]

I spent more than 10 years with natural hair. I either twisted my own hair or wore braids or twists with extensions which really grew my hair. In June of last year I decided to take the plunge and relaxed my hair. I guess the honeymoon is over! Now that I am experiencing some breakage in some areas leaving one side of my hair shorter is than the other and the middle is starting to thin a little. I wish I'd have kept my hair natural. Since discovering LHCF (after relaxing my hair!) it's made me realise that there are so many other styles I could have tried with my natural hair. I'm seriously considering going natural if after I have braided or twisted (with extensions) for two/three months my hair is still breaking. I'll also be using JBCO (I got 2 large bottles when I was in Jamaica over christmas after recs on LHCF) religiously during this time in the hope that my hair strenthens.

Does anyone else regret relaxing their hair?

If you really want to stay relaxed I suggest doing searches on the forum to get help on the best protein/moisturizing treatments, trimmings, rollersets, wraps, products, etc.. This site's been around for years now and I consider it the ultimate forum for relaxed heads.

I'm natural, so I can't help you. I have never, ever had the urge to relax since I bc'd 7 years ago. I'm going to be applying a demi-permanent color to my hair tonight and the thought of doing it is bothering me. Demi perms do not lift the color, but they open the cuticle up a bit to accept the color and make it stay longer, so there is some damage (although minute) associated with it. I'm bored with my dull natural black hair color and want something deeper and will last a few washings. Semi perms wash out too quickly for my tastes.

 

[Rose1]

sorry that you're having setback with your relaxed hair. Relaxing, or even being natural is not for everyone but with the help with education it can help you understand which choice is right for you. If you despise relaxed hair that badly you should transition. If you are having really bad damage from your relaxed hair you should baby your hair.

I don't despise relaxed hair, I just don't like how my hair is at present.

 

[Rose1]

I have made an appointment with my hairdresser for Saturday to have the Aphogee Two-Step Protein Treatment and kinky twist with extension. I plan to keep the twists in for two to three months. Hopefully this will help my hair, as when I leave my hair alone it grows. I'm not sure what I'll do once I take the twists out, maybe I'll go natural. I guess this will depend on the condition of my hair. Just out of curiousity is there a maximum time I can leave my hair before retouching with a relaxer (if my hair is ok that is) can I retouch after say, six months and retain the length or would I have to cut off the relaxer and start again? Decisions, decisions!

 

[Nya33]

Some people experience breakage from wrapping too often, especially if you wrap in the same direction. Do you protective style at all?

I have realised i can only wrap for a few weeks after relaxing by week 6-7 have to bun or my hair starts to break!

 

[back2relaxed]

I have made an appointment with my hairdresser for Saturday to have the Aphogee Two-Step Protein Treatment and kinky twist with extension. I plan to keep the twists in for two to three months. Hopefully this will help my hair, as when I leave my hair alone it grows. I'm not sure what I'll do once I take the twists out, maybe I'll go natural. I guess this will depend on the condition of my hair. Just out of curiousity is there a maximum time I can leave my hair before retouching with a relaxer (if my hair is ok that is) can I retouch after say, six months and retain the length or would I have to cut off the relaxer and start again? Decisions, decisions!

Rose1, you can just go ahead and relax if you choose to after any point. That is called "stretching". Lots of relaxed heads find it beneficial to limit the amount of chemical we put on our hair, and see going longer than the manufacturers' instructions of relaxed every 4-6 wks, is stretching! Make sure you have the stylist give you a trim if you need one before you get the twists, and also take care of your hair and scalp while you have the twists. Also wait 2-3 weeks after you take the twists out to relax your hair, if you choose to.

 

[Rose1]

Rose1, you can just go ahead and relax if you choose to after any point. That is called "stretching". Lots of relaxed heads find it beneficial to limit the amount of chemical we put on our hair, and see going longer than the manufacturers' instructions of relaxed every 4-6 wks, is stretching! Make sure you have the stylist give you a trim if you need one before you get the twists, and also take care of your hair and scalp while you have the twists. Also wait 2-3 weeks after you take the twists out to relax your hair, if you choose to.

Thanks back2relaxed.

So that's what it means by stretching! This will give me the perfect opportunity to grow the shorter side of my hair and hopefully thicken the crown area. Hopefully once I take the extensions out my hair does not break.:crossfingers:

 

[~*~ShopAholic~*~]

Just make sure you detangle well when you take out the braids and DC a few times b4 doing a t-up. You may want to start trying to eat better and maybe take a muti vitamin to help with nutrients you may be lack. Stress and not eating properly can take a toll on our hair.

 

[curlicarib]

Protein dc every other week & aphogee leave in regularly - sounds like protein overload. Try easing up on the aphogee and do strictly moisture for a few weeks and see if it makes a difference.

HTH

 

[carolinetwin]

I'd like to chime in with my own tale of woe. I was natural for 7 yrs, relaxed (after I discovered LHCF) and I suspect switching from no lye to lye caused my breakage. Plus the so called stylist used to comb the relaxer all the way to my ends. My avatar tells the whole story. I had to cut my near shoulder length hair to ear length because all my crown and nape broke. I've taken up half wigs to get me through these hard times. I still experience breakage and I too am considering going natural, but now that I have discovered LHCF I'm going to see how it goes with proper hair care. I still experience breakage but not as much as before. Don't give up hope

 

[taz007]

I'd like to chime in with my own tale of woe. I was natural for 7 yrs, relaxed (after I discovered LHCF) and I suspect switching from no lye to lye caused my breakage. Plus the so called stylist used to comb the relaxer all the way to my ends. My avatar tells the whole story. I had to cut my near shoulder length hair to ear length because all my crown and nape broke. I've taken up half wigs to get me through these hard times. I still experience breakage and I too am considering going natural, but now that I have discovered LHCF I'm going to see how it goes with proper hair care. I still experience breakage but not as much as before. Don't give up hope

Oh no, Caroline!

I was interested in switching from no lye to lye so I relaxed my nape late December with Mizani BB and the same thing is happening to me (and I only relaxed the new growth).

I am really babying my nape.

You may want to see the posts by IDareTsHair. She stated that she lost 90% of her hair after a relaxer mishap.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I am so sorry to hear that! you will be fine all the ladies on here have the best advice, I was natural, and decided to texlax, and just touch up every 5-6 months, I still have my thickness and my big hair, my shrinkage was just to bad, and I just couldn't deal with it, Sometimes I want to transition and then sometimes I don't. Either way Relaxed or Natural you can achieve a Nice Head of Healthy Long Hair, it is all in the products and your regimen and the time you can commit to put in ur hair.

I am a Protein Freak and I stay on top of my protein & moisture as well as scalp massages. You will be fine!

 

[CaliDiamond]

I texlaxed my hair from natural a few years ago and the one thing that has kept my hair on my head is moisture, moisture, moisture. By moisture, I mean water. The other ladies have mentioned braids which is definitely a good idea. Just keep them very moisturized with a braid spray. Or you can make your own (a tsp of oil of your choice, distilled water, a dollop of conditioner, and a fewdrops of tingly essential oil) in a spray bottle.

 

[Rose1]

Protein dc every other week & aphogee leave in regularly - sounds like protein overload. Try easing up on the aphogee and do strictly moisture for a few weeks and see if it makes a difference.

HTH

Hi Ensjg598

I don't use the Aphogee leave in conditioner very often, when I do use it, I only lightly spray my hair.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Just try practicing doing rollersets! I know soon your hair will be in order!!

 

[carolinetwin]

Oh no, Caroline!

I was interested in switching from no lye to lye so I relaxed my nape late December with Mizani BB and the same thing is happening to me (and I only relaxed the new growth).

I am really babying my nape.

You may want to see the posts by IDareTsHair. She stated that she lost 90% of her hair after a relaxer mishap.

Thanks for the advice. All you ladies are giving me so much inspiration. I'll check out IDareTshire's posts. Thanks!

 

[Rose1]

After twisting my own hair on Sunday (to give my hair a break from brushing and combing), I pulled them out this evening and try the Aphogee two step protein treatment which I brought today. My hairdresser was supposed to do it for me on Saturday before I have kinky twist, but I wanted to save some money so did it myself. I used a blow dryer as that was all I had. I followed with the Balancing Moisturizer, and then dc'd with Africa's Best Olive Oil Deep Conditioner. I also used ORS Olive Oil Incredibly Rich Moisturizing Hair Lotion and a little spritz of the Aphoghee Pro-Vit Leave-In Conditioner to protect my hair while blow drying and then moisturized my scalp with JBCO mixed with coconut oil and sweet almond oil. My hair feel so soft. I did notice that when I wrapped my hair there was less hair than usual in the comb. Hopefully this is a sign that the breakage is beginning to ease. I'm feeling more positive about my hair now and I'm looking forward to having my hair trimmed and kinky twists done on Saturday and giving my hair a break for a while. I guess what will be, will be!

 

[vainღ♥♡jane]

i do. thats why i'm transitioning now. ♥