I'm scared of doing it for the first time!

use a vibrator. if you've never had that kinda penetration it's gonna hurt. my first time didn't hurt.. i didn't loose my virginity until i was grown and could buy toys.
 
dlewis said:
Really?? WOW something must have been wrong with me.:lachen:

I will say once you get past the first time it's smooth sailing afterwards.
Click to expand...

LOL For me it hurt more than once...for the first year I would say, but I didn't do it more than 5 times at the most that first year. :perplexed
 
*keeps eye on thread*
We're in the same boat, OP. Haha. :grin:I posted about this not too long ago...back when I was going to be getting married. :rolleyes: We'll be fine. lol. Countless generations of women have done the do for the first time so...it shouldn't be TOO bad. I'm sure we'll feel the same way when/if we get pregnant about delivery and pain. :)

My bff's first time practically turned me off from the idea of having sex, it was HORRIBLE. :nono: As long as you don't put too many expectations into it, and he's patient and understanding and lots of preparation, it should work out ok.

HOLD ONTO IT. It is indeed a precious gift!!
~*Janelle~*
 
Personally, I think tampons are highly overrated.:rolleyes: I don't like the idea of there's something stuck inside me, if U know what I mean. Besides the fact of possibly getting toxic shock syndrome. Pads may be a bother at times, but at least I know how to maximize the use of them.
 
FlowerHair said:
I think most women don't have any severe pain.
Me on the other hand, I had sooooooo much pain the first time :crazy: I couldn't insert a tampon either before I got sexually active. Heck, even now it doesn't feel comfortable to me, 20 years later :lachen:

With the right man, under the right circumstances it will be fine :)
Click to expand...
i am the same exact way lol
 
I think you are thinking too much about it and it's making you more scared. Obviously you are far from ready. Each person is different. Yes you will be nervous but you can't let your fear affect you that much. Yes it's uncomfortable and even painful but it's not usually excruciatingly painful. I've never given birth but I'd imagine it's 100x less painful that.
 
I'd say to hold on to your v-card, it is indeed a precious gift! But when you do decide its time, then your heart will be racing and you will be so excited that the pain will not be all that great. I'm guessing you dont have access to adult toys.... so when the time is right maybe you guys can experiment the first few times by lubing his finger and slowly ummm ok i'm gonna stop there because i have no idea if i'm allowed to say this kind of stuff... :look:
 
you are more frightened because it's in abstract....
and focus is on the actual act
...but making love is a total experience

a kind compassionate partner...your husband
going at your pace....whether that is one hour or all night
set the space...so you are relaxed.
your fav music..your fav incense...
take as long as you need for pre-intercourse play
and take breaks to help you relax....
 
Well it hurt a lot the first few times and it still hurts a bit now but not like before.
It's not something you can rush in, it has to be done gradually and it's best with a caring, patient partner.
 
my first time didnt hurt at alllll prob becoz (sorry TMI coming up) he had broken the hymen 3 months before we went all the way (which hurt like a byiatch). We had like six months of 'preplay' before the bignite so it was fine. However the 2nd 3rd and 4th time...I had to tell him to take it easy. If we had had sex without all the months of 'preplay' i think my first time would've been my last time for a decade.
 
I used tampons years before I lost my virginity. I hated pads. :look:

My first time hurt, but it wasn't too bad. My bf at the time knew it was my first time - and he was really sweet about it. He took his time, stopped when it hurt too bad, and did some other things to lessen the pain that I don't think I can talk about here. :look: This may be TMI but it stopped hurting after he put it all the way in. :look: Then I was like, ok, I see what this is all about. :lol: But the insertion process hurt like the first 3 times we had sex. Then after that, smooth sailing...

I don't know about the vibrator advice. I didn't discover those until way after I had lost my virginity.

ETA: Lots of preplay will help. Make sure you're adequately lubricated. And mentally and emotionally ready and you'll be alright.
 
Last edited:
kayte said:
you are more frightened because it's in abstract....
and focus is on the actual act
a kind compassionate partner...your husband
Click to expand...

yes, wait for your husband. Or at least someone that you love and feel really comfortable with so that you can relax and take your time. And remember, the vag*** only has two functions...getting things in and getting things out. It was meant to stretch and lenghthen.
 
saved06 said:
lol..I would suggest waiting if you can. Hold out....keep your treasure as long as you can. :grin:...till marriage
Click to expand...


Thank you !!! why are you worrying about this so much now if you're planning on waiting ''til marriage?

OK, corny outdated advice alert

Which by the way will be impossible if you keep playing all around the edges, if you know what I mean .

The intensity btwn a man and a woman is impossible to deny when alone together and doing everything short of intercourse. So you will be giving it up sooner or later , most likely before marriage.

Before you go too far, maybe you should look into Birth control for yourself and start using it and not rely on your partner to provide condoms.

There is a lot of stuff out there now having a baby is just one concern. Be good to yourself and be informed. Talk to someone IRL that you trust to give you good advice.

You're playing with fire, don't get burned :nono: :blush:


Ok, old lady is leaving the room now.
 
Last edited:
(My cousin's advice) If you let him started to manipulate you with his fingers (first one finger, than two) that will help. After that you could use dildos to help. The number one thing is to RELAX. If you get tense when u actually are ready to have sex it will be like trying to walk through a crack in the wall lol/
 
msdeevee said:
Thank you !!! why are you worrying about this so much now if you're planning on waiting ''til marriage?
Click to expand...


Speaking from a virgin's perspective, sex involves pleasure, but the first time is pain. I am 24 and ever since I was 13 I've heard how utterly painful it is the first time. As an adult, I want to take every precaution in my power to lessen or erase the pain of the losing my virginity. I think if she and her SO are careful then they don't have to go all the way. My SO and I are keeping penial insertion strictly for marriage.
 
OP, I would recommend relaxing. I was really, really scared my first time, and was pretty old compared to society's standards. I think the buildup of waiting so long for the first time really made it worse than what it was. I'm fairly certain my hymen was already broken before my first time (as are a lot of women's) due to sports and gynocological exams,etc., so it really didn't hurt as much as I thought. I'm wondering if there's a correlation between the length of time you wait and the severity of pain (i.e., the longer you wait, the less it hurts)... :scratchch
 
It hurt... pain... and blood everywhere... I waited till I married @ 25.... Bled he first couple of times... but it started to feel good like after the 10th time... I hated doing it... heck i'm still learning.... My advise? lots of lubricant... and relax... it should feel better with time.
 
kayte said:
you are more frightened because it's in abstract....
and focus is on the actual act
...but making love is a total experience

a kind compassionate partner...your husband
going at your pace....whether that is one hour or all night
set the space...so you are relaxed.
your fav music..your fav incense...
take as long as you need for pre-intercourse play
and take breaks to help you relax....
Click to expand...

What happened to this poster?
 
Had to try again, again, and again before the ship docked.Although uncomfortable we made it happen slowly... no pressure from him and he made it so fun on each attempt. Try to relax and just let it happen.
 
Was.. er..um..older than 21, I'll just say.. when I had sex for the first time..it didn't hurt, so I was grateful for that. I worked out alot..and am double jointed..maybe that helped???:grin:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top