I'm in need of some advice.

[collidoscope]

Okay so.. To explain my situation, I just graduated high school and I'm about to go to college next month.

At the beginning of the summer, my boyfriend of almost a year moved a couple of hours away. Since then, things were getting pretty sour.. A lot of arguing, all that good stuff. But we "loved" each other.

Last week, he broke up with me. And he refuses to try to work it out. I basically gave up my dignity here, and I feel pretty stupid for it. I cried, I begged, I pleaded, etc etc.

Now, we both have this mutual friend. Said friend is always instigating.. Always has something to say about everything. I counted this person as one of my best friends and my ex counts him as a best friend too. So, the mutual friend tells me about how my ex just was tired of me and how he doesn't wanna work it out. At that point I was feeling pretty sh*tty to be honest. Anywho, I called mutual friend last night because I wanted to find out if the ex had been talking about me. That was a set up for failure! Mutual friend, this instigator and really messy guy, laughed and told me, "No, he's really not worried about you. He doesn't care. Plus, everybody's happy ya'll broke up anyway." erplexed So that basically made me feel much worse.

I keep telling myself there's a million other fish in the sea.. I'm about to go to college, blah blah.. But I still feel pretty bad. Sorry it's so lengthy.. Thanks in advance for your help.

 

[crlsweetie912]

Okay so.. To explain my situation, I just graduated high school and I'm about to go to college next month.

At the beginning of the summer, my boyfriend of almost a year moved a couple of hours away. Since then, things were getting pretty sour.. A lot of arguing, all that good stuff. But we "loved" each other.

Last week, he broke up with me. And he refuses to try to work it out. I basically gave up my dignity here, and I feel pretty stupid for it. I cried, I begged, I pleaded, etc etc.

Now, we both have this mutual friend. Said friend is always instigating.. Always has something to say about everything. I counted this person as one of my best friends and my ex counts him as a best friend too. So, the mutual friend tells me about how my ex just was tired of me and how he doesn't wanna work it out. At that point I was feeling pretty sh*tty to be honest. Anywho, I called mutual friend last night because I wanted to find out if the ex had been talking about me. That was a set up for failure! Mutual friend, this instigator and really messy guy, laughed and told me, "No, he's really not worried about you. He doesn't care. Plus, everybody's happy ya'll broke up anyway." erplexed So that basically made me feel much worse.

I keep telling myself there's a million other fish in the sea.. I'm about to go to college, blah blah.. But I still feel pretty bad. Sorry it's so lengthy.. Thanks in advance for your help.

Sorry to say, but you asked for it!
You wanted info and went to a messy ish starter and you got what you asked for.
Start fresh at school, work on YOU and the rest will come.
Prepare yourself for the rest of your life and forget BOTH of those ZERO's

 

[collidoscope]

Sorry to say, but you asked for it!
You wanted info and went to a messy ish starter and you got what you asked for.
Start fresh at school, work on YOU and the rest will come.
Prepare yourself for the rest of your life and forget BOTH of those ZERO's

Yeah I think I did. I always do things like that and then regret even asking.

Thanks!

 

[Bublin]

Girl, you are so young. Trust me you will look back at this oneday and just laugh. Put it down to life experiences.

 

[Highly Favored8]

Okay so.. To explain my situation, I just graduated high school and I'm about to go to college next month.

At the beginning of the summer, my boyfriend of almost a year moved a couple of hours away. Since then, things were getting pretty sour.. A lot of arguing, all that good stuff. But we "loved" each other.

Last week, he broke up with me. And he refuses to try to work it out. I basically gave up my dignity here, and I feel pretty stupid for it. I cried, I begged, I pleaded, etc etc.

Now, we both have this mutual friend. Said friend is always instigating.. Always has something to say about everything. I counted this person as one of my best friends and my ex counts him as a best friend too. So, the mutual friend tells me about how my ex just was tired of me and how he doesn't wanna work it out. At that point I was feeling pretty sh*tty to be honest. Anywho, I called mutual friend last night because I wanted to find out if the ex had been talking about me. That was a set up for failure! Mutual friend, this instigator and really messy guy, laughed and told me, "No, he's really not worried about you. He doesn't care. Plus, everybody's happy ya'll broke up anyway." erplexed So that basically made me feel much worse.

I keep telling myself there's a million other fish in the sea.. I'm about to go to college, blah blah.. But I still feel pretty bad. Sorry it's so lengthy.. Thanks in advance for your help.

I am so sorry.
I know is hard and yes, I been where you are at. Go to school get your education and do the best and be the best you can. God has a better man for you just get you together. Keep your head up!

 

[sharentu]

(( hugs )) heartbreak will do you like this. just try to see this as a growing experience. you are going to college and you are young, you will survive this. try not to dwell on this.

 

[lunabelle]

Sweetie, you have a wonderful experience ahead of you. You'll be preoccupied with getting adjusted, meeting new people, and let's not forget the parties. Believe me, you have so much to look forward to. In the meantime, ditch the friend, because no real friend is amused by your pain(which he obviously is) and forget the ex. Focus on making sure you have all of your things in order to start a new chapter in your life, he couldn't have left at a better time.

 

[sky_blu]

Trust me. Your ex did you a favor! My first love and I had the same situation, where we were going through it before I went off to school. We broke up then he pleaded with me to get back together via phone the day I got up there. We were four hours away and I gave up lots of "opportunities" to stay with him. I learned my first lessons of love dealing with him and you want to talk about dignity loss? Boy oh boy I gave it to him, he took it, crumbled it up, and throw it away among other things. Forget him, cut off that toxic friend (why keep negative energy around you) and think of all those cuties your about to meet when you start your college experience Good Luck chick!

 

[WomanlyCharm]

I know this hurts right now, but believe me, you will get over it.

This guy actually did you a favor...now you can move on to bigger and better things and people in your life.

Remember, the best revenge is living well...so go out and have a great life and a wonderful time at college. And try not to give your ex another thought.

 

[Farida]

With friends like those, who needs enemies?

With growing up you outgrow some friendships too. I won't tell you to not remain friends with the mutual friend, but I certainly wouldn't. At least I would keep my distance for some time. He showed that he doesn't have sensitivity towards your feelings, you said yourself he is an instigator and it is hard to make a clean break when he is involved with the person you are trying to forget.

It looks tough now, but you will look back and be glad you didn't stay with that boyfriend. In fact, most high school relationships, especially long distance ones, do not survive the first year of college. I know, I heard and read this and saw and heard plenty of freshmen BSing their SOs when it was clear they didn't care anymore about them.

 

[KEWLKAT103]

You'll be happy in a few months that you're starting college single.
Focus on your studies and meeting better friends.
Leave your ex and the instigator behind.

 

[socurlyqt]

Breakups hurt regardless. But they especially hurt when you have people who wont be there for you when you need them Focus on yourself and prepare your self for school. I PROMISE when college starts it will be like this NEVER happened.

 

[collidoscope]

Thanks ladies.. I definitely feel better about the whole situation now and all this just makes me more excited for college.

 

[NYAmicas]

The ladies have already gave great advice......what's up with the so-called friend anyway. ANyway you can ditch him? For your own good, babe?
And trust, give a few months of college and please update post about a new guy you met there. That other jerk will be old news.

 

[collidoscope]

The ladies have already gave great advice......what's up with the so-called friend anyway. ANyway you can ditch him? For your own good, babe?
And trust, give a few months of college and please update post about a new guy you met there. That other jerk will be old news.

He's one of those people that'll call you just to get in your business, but will never call you to say hi. He's also a user.. like.. before he got his car I used to give him a ride home from school everyday.. Most times for free.. But when he got his car if we'd want to go anywhere he'd try to charge us like $20 to go to the next town over.. which is ridiculous.. and this is even before gas went up!

 

[song_of_serenity]

He's one of those people that'll call you just to get in your business, but will never call you to say hi. He's also a user.. like.. before he got his car I used to give him a ride home from school everyday.. Most times for free.. But when he got his car if we'd want to go anywhere he'd try to charge us like $20 to go to the next town over.. which is ridiculous.. and this is even before gas went up!

Knowing this...WHY is he a friend again? I see no benefit to you having him in your life... Please do your self a favor and get rid of him.

As for your ex. Leave him be, no checking up on him (you know Mr "run tell dat" aka nosy friend already went back and told him that you asked...probably made you seem worse than you were. A simple "Did he ask about me?" becomes "Oh, she was asking bout you and just CRYIN' to me over the phone...") Focus on your studies and allow your heart to mend. And in the event he does come back (and they usually do, even if it's to get a little "something") then recall this thread, these feelings and what you went through to salvage the relationship...Hope it works out!
~*Janelle~*

 

[tada1]

::hug::
I hope you're doing much better, and excited for college

 

[Ivy_Butter]

Sweetie, you have a wonderful experience ahead of you. You'll be preoccupied with getting adjusted, meeting new people, and let's not forget the parties. Believe me, you have so much to look forward to. In the meantime, ditch the friend, because no real friend is amused by your pain(which he obviously is) and forget the ex. Focus on making sure you have all of your things in order to start a new chapter in your life, he couldn't have left at a better time.

That is so true. I can't tell you how many girls (and guys) go to college with SO back home and it rarely works out. I know so many girls who had bfs in other cities and I guarantee you that were not faithful. There are so many guys in college you won't even remember his name. Do get an education though!

 

[BrooklynSouth]

Sorry to say, but you asked for it!
You wanted info and went to a messy ish starter and you got what you asked for.
Start fresh at school, work on YOU and the rest will come.
Prepare yourself for the rest of your life and forget BOTH of those ZERO's

Ditto, ditto, ditto...go on with your life...this mess will make you shake your head and laugh years from now..You'll ask yourself..."What was I thinking?"