• ⏰ Welcome, Guest! You are viewing only 2 out of 27 total forums. Register today to view more, then Subscribe to view all forums, submit posts, reply to posts, create new threads, view photos, access private messages, change your avatar, create a photo album, customize your profile, and possibly be selected as our next Feature of the Month.

I'm done! I'm giving up on this hair care thing!

⏳ Limited Access:

Register today to view all forum posts.

Register Log in
MissFallon,

Please do not give up. One thing is for sure, YOUR HAIR WILL KEEP GROWING! No matter what you do, if you are in average health it will grow.

The trick is to be patient enough to stay gentle with it, and try not to dwell on it too much. Try not to become impatient and start jerking or ripping hair in frustration.

Keep doing the good things that you are doing and you will get there. Transitioning hair shows shrinkage so much sometimes that you really can't see how much it has grown.

Hope this helps
Softresses
 
I feel your pain, please don't give up. Everyone's hair goes through different growth cycles. Maybe your hair is going through the cycle where it doesn't grow, don't worry this isn't long, your hair will kick in and start growing again. Don't give up hope. My hair hasn't grown that much this year and I was getting fed up too, now I plan on just weaving it or braiding it.
 
okay I just viewed your fotki:eek: i just dont understand why you want to give up, your hair is growing alot
 
:confused: What????????!!! NO!! You can NOT be serious! Child! I would love to have your hair right now. What?? You wouldn't want to trade places with me. I just saw your Fotkin and in my opinion I happen to think you are doing a fabulous job. Sometimes it's hard for us to see our OWN accomplishments but girl- your hair looks good. As far as you not liking the thinness, go for a roller set to make it look a little fuller around your head. I know ince my hair grows out to your length it will probably look the same, but I am a curl queen with my hair short I need curls and with my hair long I need curls It just makes me look like I have more hair because it is so thin.

Girl Don't give up. Seriously. Keep doing what you are doing.
 
MissFallon, aren't you transitioning? And do you have fine stranded hair? If so, you probably are going through what I went through when I transitioned. I have fine stranded hair and as my new growth grew out, it was way thicker than my relaxed hair. It made my relaxed hair look thin and puny. I did everything to protect my hair in order to transition longer, but I decided to do the big chop. I too would wonder why my hair appeared the same length and it was because of shrinkage, forreal. I remember when I went to a salon to get a trim. My hair was grazing shoulder length. When the stylist straightened all my hair with a blowdryer and flat iron, it was inches passed my shoulders.
In order to get through this, you have to set an ultimate goal for yourself... Do you really want long hair or do you really want natural hair? That's what I had to determine. It was no use for me to hold on to my relaxed ends just so I can have longer hair if my ultimate goal was to be natural. So I chopped it off realizing I can grow long natural hair instead of long half thin relaxed hair/half thick natural hair.
Hope that helps! Please keep taking care of your hair and determine what you really want for your hair.
 
The problem isn't the thinness of my hair, it is the length. Today my hair is crazy thick. I did a rollerset to check length and its shorter than my pics in my July album. I don't have a problem with the thickness of it right now because it is really full and thick because of my shampoo/conditioner but it seems to make it look so much shorter. Its like I have to sacrifice the length to get it thick and full. If I flat iron it my ends will look messed up. I broke my camera so I can't show you what I mean. If I can figure out how to take pics w/ my camera phone I will do it later. I'm ready to just relax it at this point or go bald and wear a wig for the rest of my life. I want to just get a weave but they thin out my hair so bad. I don't know what to do. I'm so sick of this damn ponytail/bun!
 
Last edited:
nomoweavesfome said:
:confused: What????????!!! NO!! You can NOT be serious! Child! I would love to have your hair right now. What?? You wouldn't want to trade places with me. I just saw your Fotkin and in my opinion I happen to think you are doing a fabulous job. Sometimes it's hard for us to see our OWN accomplishments but girl- your hair looks good. As far as you not liking the thinness, go for a roller set to make it look a little fuller around your head. I know ince my hair grows out to your length it will probably look the same, but I am a curl queen with my hair short I need curls and with my hair long I need curls It just makes me look like I have more hair because it is so thin.

Girl Don't give up. Seriously. Keep doing what you are doing.
Click to expand...

ditto. APL is not short. have you tried changing your diet. maybe that will help with more growth. don't give up. because if you do you're never gonna know if you can reach your goal.
 
Poohbear said:
MissFallon, aren't you transitioning? And do you have fine stranded hair? If so, you probably are going through what I went through when I transitioned. I have fine stranded hair and as my new growth grew out, it was way thicker than my relaxed hair. It made my relaxed hair look thin and puny. I did everything to protect my hair in order to transition longer, but I decided to do the big chop. I too would wonder why my hair appeared the same length and it was because of shrinkage, forreal. I remember when I went to a salon to get a trim. My hair was grazing shoulder length. When the stylist straightened all my hair with a blowdryer and flat iron, it was inches passed my shoulders.
In order to get through this, you have to set an ultimate goal for yourself... Do you really want long hair or do you really want natural hair? That's what I had to determine. It was no use for me to hold on to my relaxed ends just so I can have longer hair if my ultimate goal was to be natural. So I chopped it off realizing I can grow long natural hair instead of long half thin relaxed hair/half thick natural hair.
Hope that helps! Please keep taking care of your hair and determine what you really want for your hair.
Click to expand...

My ultimate goal is APL unstretched natural. My natural hair is earlength when stretched, about 2.5 inches unstretched.
 
HI :) I cant believe Im gonna say this but have your hair straightened (blowdried, flat ironed) and take a picture.

Your hair will always look shorter when it has texture. Its also a good way to see how much you need to trim. The pictures will show growth but you may wanna get a trim as the hair will continue to break and split if you need one. I doubt you havent had growth but if so, it may be because you need a good trim:)
 
Your hair is probably stressed from the 2 textures. I am so jealous because yr hair is gorgeous!:lol: Why not braid it for a time until yr hair grows? I understand how u feel about not wanting short hair. My natural hair was about the same length before I relaxed last week. I think I would've stayed natural if my hair were longer. The good thing is yr hair will always grow back. I don't know how u feel about weaves, but u can always go that route too to hide yr short hair. In my area, it is very hard to find someone to do black hair. I mostly have to rely on my own to get it done. Since u have styling skills, it will be easier for you to be successful in yr natural journey. Don't give up. You're almost at the finish line. We're rooting for you.:dance7:
 
MissFallon said:
The problem isn't the thinness of my hair, it is the length. Today my hair is crazy thick. I did a rollerset to check length and its shorter than my pics in my July album. I don't have a problem with the thickness of it right now because it is really full and thick because of my shampoo/conditioner but it seems to make it look so much shorter. Its like I have to sacrifice the length to get it thick and full. If I flat iron it my ends will look messed up. I broke my camera so I can't show you what I mean. If I can figure out how to take pics w/ my camera phone I will do it later. I'm ready to just relax it at this point or go bald and wear a wig for the rest of my life. I want to just get a weave but they thin out my hair so bad. I don't know what to do. I'm so sick of this damn ponytail/bun!
Click to expand...

I know what you mean, I cut off 1 1.5 inches on Monday and trimmed an extra inch off yesterday. I went from one inch above bra to APL (I believe). The longer my hair gets the thinner my ends get.
​
 
I'm sorry you are so frustrated. I'd second the suggestion to go ahead and flat-iron (the roots) because it sounds like you need to see the length and you need to feel pretty and swing that hair. I am 5 months natural and was feeling frustrated with how I looked and I just needed a change so I rollerset my natural hair and I instantly felt better. It's not remotely straight but I can see my length and I feel prettier. I would also suggest that you look at some pics of ladies with short hair, neck length and shorter, so that you can see how much longer your hair is than many others. Looking at the pics of long-haired ladies on this board can be inspiring one minute and frustrating the next.

Also, please try to be more patient and optimistic, think about and talk about what is going well. You talk about June like it was a year ago, June was just two months ago, I think you are setting yourself up for failure.

Finally, do you feel better with the bun or with the full and thick (although not as long as you like) rollerset? If you look and feel better with the rollerset, why not just stick with that? I cannot imagine having APL hair and wearing a bun all of the time. Many ladies on here grow their hair out with rollersets and don't ever wear buns.

Hang in there, this hair growing thing can be frustrating. Maybe you need a break but please don't give up, there is difference.
 
MissFallon,

Don't give up. Never give up on anything you REALLY want to accomplish.

Do you wear your hair in a bun style alot? I do and I noticed that my hair in the front at the ends is thin, the back is okay. I know it is from pulling it back all the time. I need to find another protective style that looks good on me.

Whatever you do, don't give up. Give it some more time. If you are doing the right regimen, I know you will reap the benefits soon. Just hang in there.

If you give up, you will NEVER reach your hair goals. I don't want to see you quit, so I am going to hang right in there with you and keep telling you not to give up.

Now keep your chin up and give us a smile!
 
PLEASE don't give up! Your hair is so pretty, I was just looking at your album for inspiration a few days ago. It'll all be worth it in the end, and you'll be glad that you decided to continue.
 
I'm cutting it all off and relaxing it. I never planned on wearing a TWA. Twistouts aren't for me. two strand twists aren't for me. Braids aren't for me. I was going to grow it out with protective styles and wear it curly when it got to APL. Not anymore! I'm getting a weave and rocking one for the rest of my life.

ETA: Or a lacefront
 
Last edited:
Ok, before I leave for good I'm going to just explain myself first. Last year I had thick full brastrap length hair. I had a sew-in put in last september for my bday to make it thicker. The sew-in messed up my hair and I ended up having to cut it. NO ONE (not even my SO) knows I cut my hair (well my mother knows its cut but doesn't know how short). So everyone that I interact with on a daily basis still thinks its that full healthy BSL almost midback hair that I had last year. I have worn clip in extensions twice and had a sew in for 2 weeks just cuz I was sick of wearing my hair in a ponytail. I am so fustrated with this ponytail that I wear everyday. I don't wear the curly one everyday anymore and wear a bun, which I absolutely hate. Its not a sock bun, its a phonypony wrapped in a bun. No one knows I have short hair and I am so embarrassed to show them my real hair. I just want it to grow back and it is taking forever. Everytime my SO goes to touch my hair I pull back or if someone comments on it I shy away even if its a compliment cuz its generally not mine. I just want my hair back and its taking forever. I am one of those ppl who wore my hair out everyday since I was about 12 years old and cut it right after turning 21 (turning 22 next month). I'm just ready to let my hair down again and not have to worry about it being a weave or a half wig or someone else's hair. I just want to wear my own hair down w/o a million ppl asking me what happened to my hair and what did I do to it. I just don't feel like going through the embarrassment that I have been trying to prevent since the day I cut it (December 29th). So, thats my story:ohwell:
 
Please, I have to ask you what is your definition of "short"? Weave or not, your hair is not short by any means.

I don't think you should quit. I'm not feeling too good about my hair right now either, but I'm not giving up. Look at it this way, you may not be where you want to go, but you "ain't where you was". Get it?!

This is a sloooow process and it takes lots of patience, so whatever you do, don't give up. Stick it out. There are so many of us here to support you through this. Please don't give up. A lot of us are tired of our buns and phony pony's and all that stuff but we're hanging in there. Hang with us. Come on. It ain't so bad.;)
 
MissFallon said:
Ok, before I leave for good I'm going to just explain myself first. Last year I had thick full brastrap length hair. I had a sew-in put in last september for my bday to make it thicker. The sew-in messed up my hair and I ended up having to cut it. NO ONE (not even my SO) knows I cut my hair (well my mother knows its cut but doesn't know how short). So everyone that I interact with on a daily basis still thinks its that full healthy BSL almost midback hair that I had last year. I have worn clip in extensions twice and had a sew in for 2 weeks just cuz I was sick of wearing my hair in a ponytail. I am so fustrated with this ponytail that I wear everyday. I don't wear the curly one everyday anymore and wear a bun, which I absolutely hate. Its not a sock bun, its a phonypony wrapped in a bun. No one knows I have short hair and I am so embarrassed to show them my real hair. I just want it to grow back and it is taking forever. Everytime my SO goes to touch my hair I pull back or if someone comments on it I shy away even if its a compliment cuz its generally not mine. I just want my hair back and its taking forever. I am one of those ppl who wore my hair out everyday since I was about 12 years old and cut it right after turning 21 (turning 22 next month). I'm just ready to let my hair down again and not have to worry about it being a weave or a half wig or someone else's hair. I just want to wear my own hair down w/o a million ppl asking me what happened to my hair and what did I do to it. I just don't feel like going through the embarrassment that I have been trying to prevent since the day I cut it (December 29th). So, thats my story:ohwell:
Click to expand...

Sweetie, you should never let people define who you are. If you don't want to wear weaves anymore, then don't, it's just as simple as that, and if you want to answer the questions people might ask you about what happended to your hair, just say "i cut it". I'm sure you will look fine with short or long hair, you just need to be yourself and not something you "think" other people want you to be.;)
 
Sigh. Not to sound mean, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for you. Your hair looks gorgeous! Even if it's not as gorgeous as it was last year, it still looks good.

I don't why you would cut your hair and relax it so you won't be outed.:perplexed
 
I just dont like it this length. I'm sorry y'all, I know I'm being incredibly negative but I can not help it tonight. I was all hype cuz my hair was all thick and pretty but I guess I got a serious case of hair anorexia:ohwell: I'm about to break out the flat iron and just straight this newgrowth out all the way.
 
zora said:
Sigh. Not to sound mean, but I have a hard time feeling sorry for you. Your hair looks gorgeous! Even if it's not as gorgeous as it was last year, it still looks good.

I don't why you would cut your hair and relax it so you won't be outed.:perplexed
Click to expand...
I'm sayin...:ohwell: Is your family/friends that shallow? Are they going to cut you off? I mean what's the worse that will happen?

ETA: Your hair is very pretty in your pic btw
 
although I know what it feels like to have hair negativity you really need to look at all of these people on the board who are striving to get where you're at right now...including me. What are some of the things that you DO like about your hair? You should be thankful for the hair you do have cuz some people esp those with illnesses are not that fortunate.
 
CityGirl said:
Please, I have to ask you what is your definition of "short"? Weave or not, your hair is not short by any means.

I don't think you should quit. I'm not feeling too good about my hair right now either, but I'm not giving up. Look at it this way, you may not be where you want to go, but you "ain't where you was". Get it?!

This is a sloooow process and it takes lots of patience, so whatever you do, don't give up. Stick it out. There are so many of us here to support you through this. Please don't give up. A lot of us are tired of our buns and phony pony's and all that stuff but we're hanging in there. Hang with us. Come on. It ain't so bad.;)
Click to expand...

ITA! Excellent post CityGirl! MissFallon, I understand your frustration believe me. I used to have what I thought was "long" hair before I joined LHCF and I can't wait for it to grow back. However, I've accepted two things; my hair is very slow growing and I need the utmost patience to see this though to my goal. You are at a more advanced starting point on this journey than many of us here. Don't be discouraged. I applaud your honesty about your feelings too. Keep your chin up.
 
Ayeshia said:
although I know what it feels like to have hair negativity you really need to look at all of these people on the board who are striving to get where you're at right now...including me. What are some of the things that you DO like about your hair? You should be thankful for the hair you do have cuz some people esp those with illnesses are not that fortunate.
Click to expand...

So, so true :ohwell:
 
ITA......

It's one thing to be temporarily discouraged with your hair progress but this is a bit extreme. Not that it means much to you right now but, please be thankful for what you have right now. You would be amazed what this sense of appreciation can do to your hair progress. Appreciate what you've got and eventually you will get what you want from your hair.

Ayeshia said:
although I know what it feels like to have hair negativity you really need to look at all of these people on the board who are striving to get where you're at right now...including me. What are some of the things that you DO like about your hair? You should be thankful for the hair you do have cuz some people esp those with illnesses are not that fortunate.
Click to expand...
 
MissFallen


I like the new song by IndiaArie if you want to be ballheaded right now go for it. I think you will still be cute cheer up :)
 
MISSF,

Don't make any decisions right now while you are angry. You may regret it. Take some time, get some braids or something and leave you hair alone. You may just need a hair hiatus!
 
I don't understand whay your upset about. just looked thr your album. Your hair is very pretty and a great length.
As for the 'other people' just say u cut it because u weren't happy with the ends or something and thats that. You are making a mountain out of a molehill
 
Whatever i don't even know why i posted being fustrated. I regret posting this. I wish I could just delete this post (is this possible? pm me if it is w/ instruction) Nevermind forget it, I was just expressing my feelings but now I just feel bad for feeling my bad about my hair. Sorry.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

J
I'm giving up....
Replies
8
Views
1K
jazzyfunknastee
J
S
Home Hair Care vs. Professional Hair Care
Replies
9
Views
2K
Ebony
E
kbragg
I'm Giving Up On Natural Hair
2 3 4
Replies
117
Views
18K
sunnieb
sunnieb
julzinha
I'm Done!
2
Replies
35
Views
6K
cinnespice
cinnespice
MissFallon
I liked my hair better b4...I'm done with all this extra stuff! <vent>
Replies
25
Views
3K
dannie
dannie
Back
Top