I'm Defecting Back to Relaxed!!

Robin41

Robin41

New Member
I've been natural for two years and it's time to give it up and rejoin the ranks of the relaxed heads! I'm bored with the limited number of hairstyles I can wear and find that all I want to do is wear braids now just so I don't have to deal with my hair. More importantly, I am so disappointed in the texture of my natural hair. I guess I got caught up seeing all the beautiful type 3-something naturals here with their swinging, bouncy curls and thought I'd get the same thing. But my natural hair won't do that and doesn't look like that and I'm not happy. And talk about shrinkage! I don't mind going a little shorter, but my below shoulder length hair shrinks up into my scalp when it dries! And I've tried every product and process suggested for softening and lengthening my hair, but nothing works. I'm done fighting it.

I guess all this whining is leading up to the fact that I tried, but I cannot hang in there any longer. I've got an appointment for a relaxer on Saturday. *SIGH* I'll just have to go back to admiring all you beautiful, natural heads from afar.

Thanks to all who provided their help, guidance and suggestions throughout my attempt and good luck to everybody transitioning to natural. Hopefully, your experience will be more rewarding than mine! :-)
 
Hugs Robin. I dont have any experience in what you're going through but I'm sure someone will come to the rescue.:grin: Best of luck in whatever you decide.
 
I'm sorry you didn't find what you were looking for with your natural hair. Best of luck with your new relaxer. There's plenty support for relaxed hair as well, so you'll be fine.
 
Ditto the other two posts. There is nothing wrong with being honest with yourself about what works for you. Make sure to post pics when you get your new 'do!
 
I'm sorry to read your frustration, especially when I read we share the same hair type. I'm not natural but I like to be on the lookout for successful stories in natural hair management in case I choose to transition anytime soon. I too have type 4a hair with MAJOR shrinkage and when I'm stretching I really like to have fun pulling on my new growth and watching it "boing" (shrink) back into place.:lol:

Perhaps you can tell your stylist to tex it so you still can have some of your original styling options if you choose. Just know that what ever you do may result in future boredom too. So I hope your choice comes without regret.

Hopefully some natural heads here can suggest something that you haven't yet tried. If not I hope you have a good hair day on saturday!
 
pls also remember the chemicals that you will be using on your head..have you really thought this through?

I thought a lot about your comment regarding wanting or hoping for type C hair...thats not for everyone. I have type 4 hair and i am so happy with it.

If you are sure you want to go through getting a perm on a reg...then go for it and i wish you the best on your journey.

One more thing...if you had more growth...would u then be happy with your natural texture?
 
I am sorry to here that you are not happy with your hair and I know how you feel about curls and length.

I feel the same way about length and I love curls that is why I texlax. I still have more shrinkage then I like and sometimes I think that I would like to process it longer for bigger curls but then I look at heads I admire and even the weave I love and the texture is really similar to the look I have achieved with my texlax.

The decision is yours but i seems a little extreme to me. Have you considered trying texlaxing? If you like the curls - Great! If you don't then you can still wear it straight or do a corrective next time and make it straighter.

I don't think die hard curly lovers - I am speaking for myself - will ever be happy with straight, relaxed hair. Plus I know my thick hair hates being straight.
 
That's okay...at least you gave your natural texture a chance to do its thing. You gotta be happy with Your hair. Good luck with the relaxer.
 
I agree with Pinkskates....do what you feel is right for YOU!

I know that you will be blessed because you have learned so much here on the forum about hair, whether its relaxed or natural and you have given your natural hair a chance...so i say...go for it!

Girl, I just want to see some pics when you get it done on Saturday, ok?

Blessings...always!
 
Ooooh good luck girl! I hope it turns out beautifully. You should be very proud to have hung in there for two years:yep:, that is awesome. And now you know for sure what your natural hair is like, that is a blessing. I appreciate your honesty. And we want to see pics:grin:.
 
Congratulations on your choice to relax your hair! For me, there are few things more frustrating that being in the "valley of indecision." I'm glad you're doing what's best for you and your hair.
 
prospurr4 said:
Congratulations on your choice to relax your hair! For me, there are few things more frustrating that being in the "valley of indecision." I'm glad you're doing what's best for you and your hair.
Click to expand...

ITA to the bolded. You put that very nicely.
 
Good luck with your decision. I agree that you have to do what is best for you. Just make sure you really think it over...don't just do it on a whim.

If staying away from chemicals was not your major reason for going natural than I would suggest texlaxing.

Do what makes you happy. There is a lot of info on the forum and we are here to support you!
 
I hope it's not too late to say I'm glad you've found what works for you and I'm sure your relaxer will come out great! :grin:
 
Hey, Robin:

The ladies have already put it eloquently enough: you simply gotta make yourself happy first. Perhaps texlaxing would be a good compromise as others have mentioned.
 
xxBlackRosexx said:
pls also remember the chemicals that you will be using on your head..have you really thought this through?

I thought a lot about your comment regarding wanting or hoping for type C hair...thats not for everyone. I have type 4 hair and i am so happy with it.

If you are sure you want to go through getting a perm on a reg...then go for it and i wish you the best on your journey.

One more thing...if you had more growth...would u then be happy with your natural texture?
Click to expand...

Uh, uh. I've given that some thought and shrinkage is just one of the problems. Even if I had the patience to wait until it's longer, I don't think I'd be any happier with it.
 
Thanks so much for the support and blessings, ya'll. It's truly, truly appreciated. And thanks to all who suggested texturizing. I'll talk to my stylist and make some decisions on Saturday!
 
Robin41 said:
I've been natural for two years and it's time to give it up and rejoin the ranks of the relaxed heads! I'm bored with the limited number of hairstyles I can wear and find that all I want to do is wear braids now just so I don't have to deal with my hair. More importantly, I am so disappointed in the texture of my natural hair. I guess I got caught up seeing all the beautiful type 3-something naturals here with their swinging, bouncy curls and thought I'd get the same thing. But my natural hair won't do that and doesn't look like that and I'm not happy. And talk about shrinkage! I don't mind going a little shorter, but my below shoulder length hair shrinks up into my scalp when it dries! And I've tried every product and process suggested for softening and lengthening my hair, but nothing works. I'm done fighting it.

I guess all this whining is leading up to the fact that I tried, but I cannot hang in there any longer. I've got an appointment for a relaxer on Saturday. *SIGH* I'll just have to go back to admiring all you beautiful, natural heads from afar.

Thanks to all who provided their help, guidance and suggestions throughout my attempt and good luck to everybody transitioning to natural. Hopefully, your experience will be more rewarding than mine! :-)
Click to expand...

Hi Robin, I think that you are to be commended for going as long as you did with your natural state. I too had given up relaxing 3 years ago only to return to it again in January of this year. I was sporting a short crop and permanent color when my hair began to break off like crazy in 2005. I started braiding it up and wearing wigs and sew-ins until I regained my growth. I loved my hair when it was natural but dealing with the tight 4a naps was quite a chore! My scalp would be sore from me trying to detangle it or when combing it out to a style of some sort.

Now that I know about this forum the next time if I decide to transition I will be armed with all sorts of valuable information and support from the wonderful sistahs on this board! Good luck and HHG! :yep:
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Similar threads

Mandy4610
WHICH IS EASIER TO MANAGE, NATURAL OR RELAXED HAIR?
Replies
22
Views
6K
ajargon02
ajargon02
BlueNile
Relaxed Heads....do you ever just wanna give up...
2
Replies
31
Views
5K
BlueNile
BlueNile
Sondice
Back to relaxed....
Replies
11
Views
3K
Sondice
Sondice
Neith
Relax, natural, texturized, relaxed, natural... and start over again.
Replies
20
Views
5K
heyfranz
heyfranz
healthyhair2
Any Naturals go Back 2 Relaxed Hair?
2
Replies
47
Views
9K
choqlat
C
Back
Top