If You Would Have Had Long Hair Then.....

[My Friend]

Do you think a certain situation would have been different? Since "good hair" has a place in the black community and long hair in mainstream America, do you have a gut feeling that certain things could have been different?

Boyfriends, husbands, girlfriends, jobs, you, etc.

 

[My Friend]

Don't be a unicorn. If you haven't noticed there are long hair forums for black, white, and Latino. Some black men state they prefer long or good hair. Siblings and family members were treated different because of their hair status.

Yes. We all want world peace and people to look at our inside's and not the outside but that ain't happened yet and don't try to pretend this thread is going to change it.

I already see that people are going to be hesitant to share because the unicorns are always the first to post. Also, if you state that maybe you thought you could have gotten a certain man due to your hair length, you would be wrapped in Remi weave and burned in the LHCF you don't need a man town hall thread.

 

[*CherryPie*]

I have always had long hair (APL-MBL). And no, things don't change just because you have long hair. Some of y'all are giving way too much power to long hair.

Hair don't do all of that.

 

[Aviah]

I have always had long hair (APL-MBL). And no, things don't change just because you have long hair. Some of y'all are giving way too much power to long hair.

Hair don't do all of that.

ITA. then again it does depend on the mindset of those surrounding you and how much value they put on it...

Sent from my GT-I5700 using GT-I5700

 

[chrisanddonniesmommy]

Always had it. It didn't add anything to my life. I'm married with kids, highly educated, yada, yada, yada.

It's more about the person.

 

[BEAUTYU2U]

I expect confidence, that's abt it. Knowing I reached a goal and all of that.

Sent from my VM670 using VM670

 

[Evolving78]

best things have happened to me when my hair was short!

 

[BlkOnyx488]

Duplicate post

 

[BlkOnyx488]

I am a short hair lifer here,
and I know my home life would have been different, my father was constantly complaining because my hair was so short. he use to say "Little girls are suppose to look like doll baby's".

Prehaps he would have found something else to complain about but it would have been nice to not have to hear his mouth complaining about my short hair when I was a child.

However as I got older my confidence was never tied to my hair, when you develop the idea that "my hair don't grow" you just don't think or care about you hair and you move on to other things in life. it becomes unimportant.

My short hair has been a disappointment to me and no one else, besides well um Dad LOL

 

[brg240]

I always had long hair and I don't think it changed my life :/ but i guess it depends on the person. I never cared about good hair/bad hair so I guess there is that. But the 'oh you have such long hair, it's so pretty, can i have it' made me develop a bit of a complex where i'd equate my prettieness to my hair :/ so yeah

 

[klsjackson]

I've mostly had long hair all my life, but I got more attention from men , people in general, the one time I cut my hair short. It was like people noticed my face more or something. Sometimes I want to cut if off again, but the upkeep!!! Oh, well.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

I am a short hair lifer here,
and I know my home life would have been different, my father was constantly complaining because my hair was so short. he use to say "Little girls are suppose to look like doll baby's".

Prehaps he would have found something else to complain about but it would have been nice to not have to hear his mouth complaining about my short hair when I was a child.

However as I got older my confidence was never tied to my hair, when you develop the idea that "my hair don't grow" you just don't think or care about you hair and you move on to other things in life. it becomes unimportant.

My short hair has been a disappointment to me and no one else, besides well um Dad LOL

This was me except is was my mom. What made things worse is that my cousins (her sister's daughters) all had long thick hair and they lived right around the corner so I was around them daily. Even the teachers at the elementary school we all attended favored them because of their hair and lighter skin. I was always an honor student--I tested on the 12th grade level in the 6th grade--but all my mom focused on was that my hair never looked like my cousins' hair. She still hates my hair to this day--I'm just old enough to ignore it and do what I want now.

 

[BlkOnyx488]

This was me except is was my mom. What made things worse is that my cousins (her sister's daughters) all had long thick hair and they lived right around the corner so I was around them daily. Even the teachers at the elementary school we all attended favored them because of their hair and lighter skin. I was always an honor student--I tested on the 12th grade level in the 6th grade--but all my mom focused on was that my hair never looked like my cousins' hair. She still hates my hair to this day--I'm just old enough to ignore it and do what I want now.

HappilyLiberal whew! Glad I am not alone
I think there is a conspiracy with the Government and some parents
to keep therapist in business. because no one can mess up your head like mommy and daddy

 

[tiffers]

I find it interesting that those who have always had long hair say "It's not that serious," or "I never thought about hair," or "It never mattered to me."

Of course it's "not that serious" to YOU because you've always had what so many little black girls wish for. erplexed Whether you choose to believe it or not, people show favor to girls with long hair. As someone who was perpetually NL growing up, I experienced this first-hand.

 

[HappilyLiberal]

I find it interesting that those who have always had long hair say "It's not that serious," or "I never thought about hair," or "It never mattered to me."

Of course it's "not that serious" to YOU because you've always had what so many little black girls wish for. erplexed Whether you choose to believe it or not, people show favor to girls with long hair. As someone who was perpetually NL growing up, I experienced this first-hand.

And my hair was actually shoulder length for most of my life so that wasn't exactly short by most standards. Although I did have two very large bald spots on both of my temples starting when I was nine--I think it was stress (I was a stressed out kid). Stress still shows up first in my hair.

 

[brg240]

I find it interesting that those who have always had long hair say "It's not that serious," or "I never thought about hair," or "It never mattered to me."

Of course it's "not that serious" to YOU because you've always had what so many little black girls wish for. erplexed Whether you choose to believe it or not, people show favor to girls with long hair. As someone who was perpetually NL growing up, I experienced this first-hand.

but that's true of everything though. You're not going to notice things you've had forever.

While I wouldn't say it had a big effect on my life, my long hair has always been serious to me. But it's not exactly a positive thing. I'd get a lot of compliments on my hair and that made me develop a complex. I have never majorly cut my hair and i probably never will. Have you read/watched Little Women; the character Jo cuts her very long hair very short and her sister says 'Your hair! Your beautiful hair! Oh, Jo, how could you? Your one beauty.' I've always felt that my one (only) true beauty was my hair. erplexed I mean i do like that i grew up with long hair (i never thought black women couldn't grow long hair and i didn't buy much into that good hair/bad hair stuff) and it's quite possible that it procured me some favor(though i've never been popular so i don't know how much) but it wasn't all positive.

edit: oh i do believe in the butterfly effect though, so i think peoples' lives would be different if the hair length changed. If anything changed really.

 

[FoxxyLocs]

I always had long hair too and people always noticed. It was the thing that everyone knew me by. My family put a lot of value on hair so they were very proud of it. Guys always noticed my hair first. It did make me feel weird, like ppl thought I was just a head of hair and that's it. Cutting it all off felt great! I was so happy. But ppl still defined me by my hair And then it all grew back and I was the girl with long hair again, and then the one with dreads, and so on. So I just can't get away from it. At least I satisfied my short hair curiosity and now I know that ppl did still love me with no hair

Sent from my HTC Evo

 

[BostonMaria]

I had the body and the brains, but not the hair. Hell, I could've taken over the world! God knew not to give me so much power all at once LOL

 

[candy626]

Interesting question.
I have curly hair that has always been on the longish side. Do I think my hair has gotten me more opportunities...? I think my overall appearance may have helped, but at the end of the day non-blacks don't view having long hair as a big deal AT ALL. So I don't think long hair has been responsible for me getting jobs.

From a social standpoint. I sometimes think people are leary of me because I have long hair, I'm lighter skinned, tall, and thin. I've had a couple tell me they thought I was going to be stuck up rather then the goofy person I really am.

Has having longer hair and possibly even lighter skin attracted certain men? Probably. Were most of those men quality men I wanted to date? Uh uh. My ex for instance, who I later discovered is bi-polar with a substance abuse problem told me he loves long hair and light skin women....? Yea...All black women as a whole share the same struggle with meeting decent black men. Having long hair or "good" hair doesn't make too much of a difference at the end of the day. Neither does skin tone.

But overall appearance, definitely can plays a role in different areas of your life.

 

[Tiye]

I find it interesting that those who have always had long hair say "It's not that serious," or "I never thought about hair," or "It never mattered to me."

Of course it's "not that serious" to YOU because you've always had what so many little black girls wish for. erplexed Whether you choose to believe it or not, people show favor to girls with long hair. As someone who was perpetually NL growing up, I experienced this first-hand.

I did not have long hair as a child and I say it's not that serious. There's no evidence that long hair gives anyone an advantage in getting through school or on the job market. No one's happier, healthier, or wealthier just because they have long hair. I won't even make an exception for modelling and entertainment related careers because of the widespread use of weaves and wigs in those fields.

 

[~~HoneyComb~~]

I don't feel that things would have happened any differently had my hair been longer.

I never had the mindset that my "hair" was what I needed to make things happen, be it get a job, get a man, etc.. My hair has never been long until my natural hair journey, until until then it was SL or shorter, which I preferred, but, imo, it never held me back.


The only reason I'm growing my hair long is to see how long I can grow it, not for what great things will happen in my life due to it being long because I don't think it matters.

I focused more on my personality and my overall appearance, never my hair.

 

[natura87]

I find it interesting that those who have always had long hair say "It's not that serious," or "I never thought about hair," or "It never mattered to me."

Of course it's "not that serious" to YOU because you've always had what so many little black girls wish for. erplexed Whether you choose to believe it or not, people show favor to girls with long hair. As someone who was perpetually NL growing up, I experienced this first-hand.

And its ingrained into children at a young age, like 2. So now you have people relaxing their babies hair just to show length.

 

[Ronnieaj]

It can definitely cut both ways. I always had what was considered long hair growing up (APL, mom was BSL). I was the only one with hair longer than NL at my church, and I was picked on mercilessly for thinking I was better than everyone else because of it. I hated being the odd one out, so I cut my hair to EL for about a decade. I got kicked out of the choir and usher board as a result . I was let back in when I let it grow out the first time (at my grandmother's request), but after senior pics were taken I promptly cut it back off and was kicked off again. Had my hair always been EL or NL, none of that would've happened and I think life would've actually been easier for me .

 

[sylver2]

please, when my hair fell out and i had to cut it all off, i was practically invisible compared to the attention i get now with it really long.

 

[yuhlovevybz]

I got more attention when my hair was real-life long, between Sl and APL. I think I would either get more attention or have more confidence myelf since these days every black girl I see has a weave and nothing else. I'm very conscience of every single aspect of my image, so hair is just a part of it. I keep my weight on point, my skin clear, and try to keep on top of my style game, so hair is just another part of my overall image.

 

[*CherryPie*]

Wow!! That's HORRIBLE!

It can definitely cut both ways. I always had what was considered long hair growing up (APL, mom was BSL). I was the only one with hair longer than NL at my church, and I was picked on mercilessly for thinking I was better than everyone else because of it. I hated being the odd one out, so I cut my hair to EL for about a decade. I got kicked out of the choir and usher board as a result . I was let back in when I let it grow out the first time (at my grandmother's request), but after senior pics were taken I promptly cut it back off and was kicked off again. Had my hair always been EL or NL, none of that would've happened and I think life would've actually been easier for me .

 

[Renewed1]

I expect confidence, that's abt it. Knowing I reached a goal and all of that.

Sent from my VM670 using VM670

Ditto, it's just hair. It's MY personal goal to have long hair (and the fact my head is so big; the more hair the more coverage).

I've been around people who value long hair.....but they valued character more.

 

[Mariaat40]

It can definitely cut both ways. I always had what was considered long hair growing up (APL, mom was BSL). I was the only one with hair longer than NL at my church, and I was picked on mercilessly for thinking I was better than everyone else because of it. I hated being the odd one out, so I cut my hair to EL for about a decade. I got kicked out of the choir and usher board as a result . I was let back in when I let it grow out the first time (at my grandmother's request), but after senior pics were taken I promptly cut it back off and was kicked off again. Had my hair always been EL or NL, none of that would've happened and I think life would've actually been easier for me .

Was it because they thought the hair is a woman's glory so you shouldn't cut it?

 

[HollyGolightly1982]

Ditto, it's just hair. It's MY personal goal to have long hair (and the fact my head is so big; the more hair the more coverage).

I've been around people who value long hair.....but they valued character more.

If it was "just hair" people wouldn't be putting coochie cream on their scalps and paying 6.50 to grow hair to their butt cheeks

 

[Raspberry]

My hair is currently APL.. long by black girl standards and there's definitely a noticeable difference in attention. I also get more attention than I did with MBL locs, interestingly enough.

But extra looks and flirting aint nothin if my bank account isn't increasing.