if you drink, would you date a sober alcoholic?

What do you mean by "sober alcoholic"? If you just mean someone who doesn't drink at all... I've tried it a couple times.. I realize that I enjoy drinking with my man so if I could help it, I'd rather not date a non-drinker.

A former/sober alcoholic...no again lol.. I wouldn't want to be a tempter.
 
A recovering alcoholic? Probably not.

Depends on why. I dated a guy that didn't drink because his father was an alcoholic and he didn't even want to be tempted towards that. It was an issue because he policed my drinking ( and I don't drink a lot).

Another guy just didn't like alcohol and it wasn't a problem.
 
I like drinking with my man too, so I would prefer someone who drinks. As for the sober alcoholic, no because I'm not going to refrain from drinking in his presence and I can't have his sobriety on my conscious like that.
 
I wouldn't care if he doesn't drink. Is he policing my drinking and being preachy about it? Lifestyle differences can break a relationship.
 
I wouldn't date a man who identify/identified as an alcoholic. Alcoholism is a deal breaker for me.
 
No way. I drink and will continue to do so, so I would either have to never drink around him or risk his sobriety by drinking around him. I am not a fan of either of those options.
 
i could date someone who didnt drink, in fact i think id prefer it. but i dont think i would ever be with a former alcoholic.
 
That has always been a deal breaker for me. I'm not a heavy drinker by any means but when I do happen to drink I don't want to feel guilty for it. I respect someone's decision not to drink but we probably won't be hanging out much
 
If he s sober yeah sure ,i hardly ever drink.

ETa: if he s a recovering alcoholic NO . Never .
 
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Nope, wouldnt want to temp them and they would seem like a Debbie Downer in certain situations.
 
Ugh, these people with their addiction issues. I kid, but dang, that would be rain on the parade. I hardly drink but if I wanted to, I don't want to have babysit homeboy to make sure he didn't fall off the wagon.
 
I can't date a non-drinker. I only drink socially but it is an enjoyable activity that I'd like for us to share. Even if it is just wine.
 
Fine 4s said:
I wouldn't care if he doesn't drink. Is he policing my drinking and being preachy about it? Lifestyle differences can break a relationship.
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this. my SO doesnt drink....he just kinda got over it and he doesnt care that i do. even makes some bomb drinks(used to bartend).
 
He'd probably say I'm am alcoholic and I don't need the judgment :lol:

On the other hand, you'll always have a designated driver. It's a toss up.
 
My SO doesnt drink. Most of my exes don't drink. I'm the only member of my immediate family that drinks at all and the only person in my entire fam that actively keeps liquor stocked in my house. If I waited for a drinking buddy I'd be waiting forever. So for the most part I don't care as long as you know how to go to the liquor store and order my ish correctly. :look:

A sober alcoholic probably wouldnt work because I still expect them to go to the liquor store and deal with the fact that I like to drink socially and privately.
 
DH doesn't drink and I drink. I always have a designated driver. Plus I always get his drink tickets if we are at an event. He's rarely made a comment on me drinking but I don't drink often.
 
No. Not without making an adjustment.

Sadly....my cousin had been sober for the last 8 years and less than 8 months of dating a woman who drinks, someone who he dated as an alcoholic, he's back drinking again.

And it's bad. Like cleaned out my entire liquor stash that was locked away leftover from a party a year or 2 ago of vodkas, tequilas, rum, makers mark, whiskey and a new edition Tennessee Moonshine in less than a month.....:nono: He and that liquor coexisted just fine for the last year he's been in my house. I'm not blaming her, but they aren't a good influence on each other.

If I fell for a sober alcoholic, I'd just give up alcohol or tell him we just won't work because I am a social drinker. There is really no grey area.
 
I would have to see some serious potential or have strong feelings, because I would never do anything to jeopardize his sobriety. And that is taking on baggage.
 
I couldn't do it.... :nono:

I like to drink too much.... :look: I wouldn't want to inadvertently be stumbling someone, especially my bf. I can see giving up the booze for a FRIEND that I rarely see. But a DATING relationship?? I couldn't.

Plus, I would always wonder in the back of my mind whether or not the recovering alcoholic would ever revert back to old ways. Who knows what type of things the person did as an alcoholic or what type of "alcoholic" they are?? :look:

Idk....I just personally couldn't do it. :nono: I know myself well enough.
 
Hmmm, I know I cannot date a non-drinker. I have actually gone out with a man before who claimed to never have had a drop of alcohol ever. I just couldn't keep it going. I drink socially and enjoy getting a little faded every now and then, I can't be the only one drinking all of the time LOL. I actually agree that it's kind of fun to drink with your S.O.
 
drappedup said:
Hmmm, I know I cannot date a non-drinker. I have actually gone out with a man before who claimed to never have had a drop of alcohol ever. I just couldn't keep it going. I drink socially and enjoy getting a little faded every now and then, I can't be the only one drinking all of the time LOL. I actually agree that it's kind of fun to drink with your S.O.
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I'm the biggest hypocrite ever on this topic.

I'm very observant of other's drinking habits. I can drink like a fish and am known to get white girl wasted. But as far as other people drinking--it's a major turnoff. Like a big one. I think of subconsciously cut off friends or potentials after seeing them drink more than one drink. In my head alcohol creates a trust issue. I don't trust people that get drunk. It's a control issue. First, I was raised by a family that firmly looks down on social drinking. Our cookouts and family events on both sides of my family were sober gospel-music events. ALL THE TIME. EVERY SINGLE ONE. WITHOUT FAIL. Til this day I have yet to see an elder of my family drink alcohol (although I'm sure a few prob have)--not my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles--nobody. No beer. no wine. EVER. The only relative I know that keeps alcohol in their house is ME--and a couple younger cousins but they don't count.

Secondly, for various reasons, I know that I'm one to get out of control at times. I like and prefer others I know are in control all of the time. Feeling safe is huge to me. I want to do whatever the hell I want and I want someone to be there to protect me in the event things go down hill.

So I guess if someone told me they enjoyed drinking I'd probably stop talking to them or engaging very often. Def no relationship. :look:

eta: a lot of my friends do drink but it's either rare or in small doses. cept for 2 and a half lol. To sum it up., I've never had to be the DD. My friends ont he other hand....well.... *calling SO or Mom--banging on the door tryna figure how to drag my drunk arse up the stairs* :look:
 
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barbiesocialite said:
I'm the biggest hypocrite ever on this topic.

I'm very observant of other's drinking habits. I can drink like a fish and am known to get white girl wasted. But as far as other people drinking--it's a major turnoff. Like a big one. I think of subconsciously cut off friends or potentials after seeing them drink more than one drink. In my head alcohol creates a trust issue. I don't trust people that get drunk. It's a control issue. First, I was raised by a family that firmly looks down on social drinking. Our cookouts and family events on both sides of my family were sober gospel-music events. ALL THE TIME. EVERY SINGLE ONE. WITHOUT FAIL. Til this day I have yet to see an elder of my family drink alcohol (although I'm sure a few prob have)--not my parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles--nobody. No beer. no wine. EVER. The only relative I know that keeps alcohol in their house is ME--and a couple younger cousins but they don't count.

Secondly, for various reasons, I know that I'm one to get out of control at times. I like and prefer others I know are in control all of the time. Feeling safe is huge to me. I want to do whatever the hell I want and I want someone to be there to protect me in the event things go down hill.

So I guess if someone told me they enjoyed drinking I'd probably stop talking to them or engaging very often. Def no relationship. :look:

eta: a lot of my friends do drink but it's either rare or in small doses. cept for 2 and a half lol. To sum it up., I've never had to be the DD. My friends ont he other hand....well.... *calling SO or Mom--banging on the door tryna figure how to drag my drunk arse up the stairs* :look:
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How does this work? Im now a light to nvr drinker and I cant hang hang with my friends who get sloppy. Its not funny or fun for me to have to babysit
 
kaykari said:
How does this work? Im now a light to nvr drinker and I cant hang hang with my friends who get sloppy. Its not funny or fun for me to have to babysit
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I'll be honest. I'm known to be a bit spoiled. I'm also introverted. I'm also emotional and sensitive with a lot going on at times.

However, I'm also a good friend and a good time. It takes a lot to get me out of zone aka the house. Even my hobbies are indoors. I think it's about pros & cons. Evidently, my friends and loved ones believe I'm worth the investment for their own individual reasons. It's no secret I'm unpredictable, if you're not someone that thinks you can contain or understand me we probably wouldn't be friends in the first place.

Or it might be that I attract my parents. My SO and past relationships have been with men that value clean-living but the type that would do anything for a friend, their family or SO--just like my dad. My friends have been very serious, cautious and responsible non-risk takers--just like my mom. My parents love me. Would take a bullet for me. That's what I know so maybe that who I know to pick.

I'm a lot better due to age and maturity but there's still difference in my "party-hard" and my loved ones lol
 
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Guys this just happened last night. He beat me to the restaurant. When I checked in the hostess immediately offered me the wine list saying that he thought I may like a drink. It was our first date. I met him that morning on the net :look:

I sit down and asked what he was drinking he said he didn't drink. I told him I don't drink either. Well really I don't drink much. I am on occasion a social drinker. Then he told me that when he as in a meeting earlier it was an AA meeting. He said he has been sober for 6yrs. He had great conversation and likes fancy ish. I'm seeing his arse again.
 
PretteePlease said:
Guys this just happened last night. He beat me to the restaurant. When I checked in the hostess immediately offered me the wine list saying that he thought I may like a drink. It was our first date. I met him that morning on the net :look:

I sit down and asked what he was drinking he said he didn't drink. I told him I don't drink either. Well really I don't drink much. I am on occasion a social drinker. Then he told me that when he as in a meeting earlier it was an AA meeting. He said he has been sober for 6yrs. He had great conversation and likes fancy ish. I'm seeing his arse again.
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I think this is common.

My girlfriend's husband doesn't drink but he'll buy out the bar for everyone else. She's like me when it comes to drinking or partying. Party hard. If she's out with her girlfriends and drinks too much, he'll just call her a car in the event he doesn't feel like picking her arse up (or can't they have children lol). Interestingly, although she's a regular drinker, he doesn't like drunk sex. I'm not sure what that's about but when they are spending intimate time--I guess when he wants her to be emotionally & physically present--he demands her to be sober. no alcohol.

I'm not sure how this works in reality with a sober alcoholic though. What are the chances they'll fall off the wagon?
 
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