if you don't want me Ninja, let me find someone who does!!!!

[lesedi]

Hey ladies
am sooooooooooooo frustrated right now!
My ex is driving me crazy.....
1. He calls weekly to tell me he loves me
2. Tells all my dates that we are still together
3. CLAIMS me so that potentials won't get with me
4. Refuses to talk about US
5. Has the nerve to tell me that he wants me to be his wife........WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT!!!!???

I know i don't want to be with this man,(or should i say boy?) but I just don't know why, if he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, he is so adamant on stopping me from being with anyone else??!!

It's driving me crazy! and this SOB has a girlfriend!!!

What do i do ladies???

 

[Sprinkl3s]

I'm in same boat girl. well.... not exact but still Need answers PLEASE

 

[Bachelorette]

tell the gf to put a leash on her dog

 

[Angelicus]

Change your number.

 

[FlowerHair]

Just stop taking his calls, block his e-mails and stay out of touch for as long as necessary. He has a new girlfriend, I'm sure she doesn't appreciate his behavior What a low life!

How does he get to talk to your dates?

 

[FluffyRed]

cut him now!

he's setting you up to be a permanent sideline chick, and you see he's a cheater. So...

 

[FluffyRed]

this is some old-a$$ game
my aunt had a college clasmate in this situation
ffwd 40 yrs, dude married his gf, still boinking the side dish,
wife died, he married someone ELSE,and, yes he is STILL BOINKING THE SIDE DISH.

they're damn near 70.

get out now.

 

[Renovating]

Ignore him and live your life. You asked why he's doing it- to control you and out of pure selfishness. The only control he has over you was given BY YOU.

erplexed How does he even have the ability to talk to your potentials/dates??????

 

[babyb900]

this is some old-a$$ game
my aunt had a college clasmate in this situation
ffwd 40 yrs, dude married his gf, still boinking the side dish,
wife died, he married someone ELSE,and, yes he is STILL BOINKING THE SIDE DISH.

they're damn near 70.

get out now.

erplexed

She's been the side piece for decades!!!!

Some women are just so stupid and desperate to have a man

 

[Zuleika]

this is some old-a$$ game
my aunt had a college clasmate in this situation
ffwd 40 yrs, dude married his gf, still boinking the side dish,
wife died, he married someone ELSE,and, yes he is STILL BOINKING THE SIDE DISH.

they're damn near 70.

get out now.

Goodness! Talk about allowing someone to waste your life!!!

 

[Zuleika]

He does these things because You allow him to. Its simple, change your number, remove him from your facebook, block him if you have to. Don't hang out with the same people. Why do you even stay long enough on the phone to hear him tell you he wants you to be his wife? He has a girlfriend, but he wants you to be his wife, when the time is right? How does that even work?

 

[HoneyA]

I said "what?!" out loud three times when I read your post OP. Are you kidding me? Stop talking to him, engaging him and encouraging him. Stop answering the phone when he calls, stop texting back or whatever. He is no longer even an issue. You are moving on with your life. The more you mess around listening to his garbage, the more you hold yourself back. Stop encouraging him!

 

[Kerryann]

Change your number and if you are serious let him know you will get an order of prioetection against him or even tape his arse when he does his funky stuff and mail it to his girlfriend

You need to move on

 

[awhyley]

this is some old-a$$ game
my aunt had a college clasmate in this situation
ffwd 40 yrs, dude married his gf, still boinking the side dish,
wife died, he married someone ELSE,and, yes he is STILL BOINKING THE SIDE DISH.

they're damn near 70.
get out now.

So, the side dish NEVER got married? Ever? This is sad as all hell.
I couldn't imagine being second best FOR LIFE (OMG, 3rd best, he re-married and not to her )

erplexed

She's been the side piece for decades!!!!
Some women are just so stupid and desperate to have a man

I can't believe she stayed for all those years. I mean, didn't she get the message that after his wife DIED and he married someone else that she wasn't the one.

He has a girlfriend, but he wants you to be his wife, when the time is right? How does that even work?

It doesn't. It's called BEING PLAYED. He just wants to string her along, like that 70+ jump off above. Someone said earlier, he wants to control her situation AND his.

The more you mess around listening to his garbage, the more you hold yourself back. Stop encouraging him!

Exactly, cause he thinks he's wearing you down. Cut him off IMMEDIATELY! It's for your own good.

 

[FluffyRed]

So, the side dish NEVER got married? Ever? This is sad as all hell.
I couldn't imagine being second best FOR LIFE (OMG, 3rd best, he re-married and not to her )

I can't believe she stayed for all those years. I mean, didn't she get the message that after his wife DIED and he married someone else that she wasn't the one.

Yeah. Never. That story pissed me off so badly that whenever my (married) college sweetheart would call "as a friend," he got cussed smooth out!

That offends me - the mere thought!

 

[Almaz]

Okay I know this happens but it boggles the mind everytime

this is some old-a$$ game
my aunt had a college clasmate in this situation
ffwd 40 yrs, dude married his gf, still boinking the side dish,
wife died, he married someone ELSE,and, yes he is STILL BOINKING THE SIDE DISH.

they're damn near 70.

get out now.

 

[3akay3]

He does these things because You allow him to. Its simple, change your number, remove him from your facebook, block him if you have to. Don't hang out with the same people. Why do you even stay long enough on the phone to hear him tell you he wants you to be his wife? He has a girlfriend, but he wants you to be his wife, when the time is right? How does that even work?

Agreed. I was in the situation about 4 yrs ago and it took me some time to realize I was letting it continue. Do what you gotta do to completely block him out of your life. If you want to keep him out, be careful not to fall back into old habits.

 

[acooks143]

Hey Lesedi,

I wasnt even ready for you to say at the end "he has a new girlfriend"
my mouth was wide open...Men are sooooo stupid! Dont allow him to pull you into his game that only needs 2 players but he is trying to add a extra

 

[tiara76]

Hey ladies
am sooooooooooooo frustrated right now!
My ex is driving me crazy.....
1. He calls weekly to tell me he loves me
2. Tells all my dates that we are still together
3. CLAIMS me so that potentials won't get with me
4. Refuses to talk about US
5. Has the nerve to tell me that he wants me to be his wife........WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT!!!!???

I know i don't want to be with this man,(or should i say boy?) but I just don't know why, if he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, he is so adamant on stopping me from being with anyone else??!!

It's driving me crazy! and this SOB has a girlfriend!!!

What do i do ladies???

for him to refuse to talk about "us" somebody has to be bringing up convo's about "us"...and if it isn't him outside of keeping you hanging on by telling you he loves you and wants you to be his wife when the time is right (maybe after he breaks up with current girlfriend..??)

who is it??

who are all your dates and how does he get to talk to them and why are they listening to him vs you?

how does somebody claim you who isn't with you and who are the potentials?

seem he does have all the power

you won't be so frustrated once you take your own back

also seems like maybe you don't really want to be let go.....?????

or else you would be gone

 

[Tiffalicious]

Wow... my best friend was in a situation like that and she ended up dead. Please remove yourself swiftly and thoroughly. Men like that piss me off.

 

[mscocoface]

When you are really tired of this and don't want to participate any longer you will stop this. This is all about you once you think about. All the things he is being allowed to do he is doing so with your premission.

Wishing you the best.

 

[gabulldawg]

Hey ladies
am sooooooooooooo frustrated right now!
My ex is driving me crazy.....
1. He calls weekly to tell me he loves me
2. Tells all my dates that we are still together
3. CLAIMS me so that potentials won't get with me
4. Refuses to talk about US
5. Has the nerve to tell me that he wants me to be his wife........WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT!!!!???

I know i don't want to be with this man,(or should i say boy?) but I just don't know why, if he doesnt want to be in a relationship with me, he is so adamant on stopping me from being with anyone else??!!

It's driving me crazy! and this SOB has a girlfriend!!!

What do i do ladies???

I'm also curious to know HOW #2 & #3 are even possible!! It sounds like you are in the front row entertaining this tomfoolery.

 

[FluffyRed]

I'm also curious to know HOW #2 & #3 are even possible!! It sounds like you are in the front row entertaining this tomfoolery.

she thinks it's flattering at this point.

she thinks she can win.

doesn't see how all the women are catering to the man.

 

[ThickHair]

I had to get ig'nat and crazy with my ex and that Ninja left me the heck alone.

You are not ready. When enough is enough you will nip all this stuff in the bud.



Ummm, I don't think the OP is coming back, she wasn't expecting everyone's blunt answers.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

she thinks it's flattering at this point.

she thinks she can win.

doesn't see how all the women are catering to the man.

Uh, Can I get another AMEN on this one??? You hit the nail on the head...The only reason a woman would entertain this foolery is due to her lack of confidence of finding a man who truly wants to be with her...

He knows at this point what makes her tick and how...His gf is getting all the treats while you are getting all the tricks...He knows that your confidence is low enough to be allowed to be treated like a slow-a**...Sorry but its real...

Time for a whole lot of doing and alot less talking...In the time that it took to put this thread together...You could've blocked the emails, internet pages, changed your number, and etc...

What REAL woman is going to play these games with him...uh, you...cause if you notice the woman he's with ain't putting up with no b.s. like this...

 

[Mitey Cyrus]

What do i do ladies???

When you stop enjoying it, you'll know what to do

 

[MrsHdrLe]

When you are really tired of this and don't want to participate any longer you will stop this. This is all about you once you think about. All the things he is being allowed to do he is doing so with your premission.

Wishing you the best.

My bff told me this years ago and it is my motto when it comes to relatioships. When you've had enough, you'll walk away and that'll be the end. No need to discuss any further. In the meantime, stay busy and have fun looking pretty. Best.

 

[lesedi]

Thanks everyone for the comments. Some have been harsh but I know the sentiment is true. I have wasted too much time on this man and everytinme I move on, i get pulled back in. I guess you guys are right....I AM finding it semi-flattering at the moment...I guess because, for so long I wanted him to say these things.

But with him tracking down my dates and potentials, I swear i have no involvement. My ex is a very well-known guy in my city and pretty much knows everyone. A guy i went out with this past saturday (who i thought wouldn't know him) sent me a text message yesterday saying ' i don't want to get in the middle of a lovers tiff. I really enjoyed our date, would have liked to have gotten to know you more but since you are already taken......i guess not'.............!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I KNOW my ex contacted him. This is the third time he has done this. He stalks me on fb, if he sees me out with a man (in the club etc...) he'll approach him when im in the ladies' or he'll try and make friends with guy so as to annoy me. I'm at my wits end....this almost feels abusive to me.

I feel like talking to my ex will just make the problem worse. I'm trying to block him out. It's hard but neccesary. Another thing is i'm good friends with his sister so I feel he will always have some sort of access to me. Should i terminate that friendship?

I'm sorry ladies, i know i sound like a tired-a$$ old woman, but i'm feeling like one.

 

[phynestone]

What REAL woman is going to play these games with him...uh, you...cause if you notice the woman he's with ain't putting up with no b.s. like this...

I will have to disagree here. He's just not doing in her face. Perhaps he "respects" her enough not to, but I think it's just a matter of time before he "tries" her.

 

[MrsAriannaAmbers]

This is a clear cut case of I want the cake, punch and ice cream and eating it all too...Lesedi admitted she like the attention its a game for them...the only reason why she is a lil upset at this point is because she realize that she let it get out of hand and needs to reel his a** right back in...because now its a foolery mess and she's becoming undatable on the scene

The only reason why he would ever trie any other woman is because she let him get this far with this mess in the first place...So of course it may be natural to try someone else when she finally shuts him down...