IDK what the hell to think!! can u help me??

[L.Brown1114]

so i met this guy at sams club when i was getting some salmon for my mama and when i got up there to check out we locked eyes. I have never felt a connection like this in my life so fast. I mean it wasnt just lust it seemed like it was more, like we belonged. now i know i sound corny but i'm the type thats very pessimistic about relationships so for me to say this is a BIG deal! So he got my number and we started talking. THEN i find out he's talking to another females because she was the sister of my friends friend lol. small world right? anywho so sense i decided to forgive him sense theyve been talking for months and i had just met him it wasnt fair for me to get mad and luckily they dont talk anymore because he wants to be with me
but anyways i dont have a good history of boyfriends and i told him this because i dont want to say i know what i'm doing when i dont. so he was my boyfriend and i broke up with him because i got scared because iv never felt this strongly about some1 so fast! but i promised that i wouldnt break up with him so he lost trust in me and said i had to fight for him which iv been doing, but it seems like he not mentally there at times. it's not like it was in the beginning and i desperately want it to be. i mean i know he still cares because after we argue he'll call or i'll call and his friends tell me all he does is talk about me and how annoying it is. and the sexual chemistry is amazing and it feels like iv known him all my life!! what should i do? keep fighting for him because i did screw up hoping things will get back to how they used to b, or do you think he's already checked out pretty much and slowly pulling himself away?

 

[HoneyA]

so i met this guy at sams club when i was getting some salmon for my mama and when i got up there to check out we locked eyes. I have never felt a connection like this in my life so fast. I mean it wasnt just lust it seemed like it was more, like we belonged. now i know i sound corny but i'm the type thats very pessimistic about relationships so for me to say this is a BIG deal! So he got my number and we started talking. THEN i find out he's talking to another females because she was the sister of my friends friend lol. small world right? anywho so sense i decided to forgive him sense theyve been talking for months and i had just met him it wasnt fair for me to get mad and luckily they dont talk anymore because he wants to be with me
but anyways i dont have a good history of boyfriends and i told him this because i dont want to say i know what i'm doing when i dont. so he was my boyfriend and i broke up with him because i got scared because iv never felt this strongly about some1 so fast! but i promised that i wouldnt break up with him so he lost trust in me and said i had to fight for him which iv been doing, but it seems like he not mentally there at times. it's not like it was in the beginning and i desperately want it to be. i mean i know he still cares because after we argue he'll call or i'll call and his friends tell me all he does is talk about me and how annoying it is. and the sexual chemistry is amazing and it feels like iv known him all my life!! what should i do? keep fighting for him because i did screw up hoping things will get back to how they used to b, or do you think he's already checked out pretty much and slowly pulling himself away?

If you know he still cares, stop trying so hard to get him to come back. Remember you broke up with him. Just chill out for a while. The more we fight for a guy the more elusive and checked out he becomes. If you want to avoid that, stop fighting to get him back.

 

[hopeful]

You should not have to fight for any man. He is playing games. Either he wants to give it a go or he doesn't. I think you should take a step back and see if he pursues. If he doesn't I would move on.

 

[Mleah]

^^^^^^^^what she said above...one million times. Playa is playing you because YOU allow it. When you promise some one you'll never break up with them ,you are saying you will allow any bad behavior towards you without consequences.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

so i met this guy at sams club when i was getting some salmon for my mama and when i got up there to check out we locked eyes. I have never felt a connection like this in my life so fast. I mean it wasnt just lust it seemed like it was more, like we belonged. now i know i sound corny but i'm the type thats very pessimistic about relationships so for me to say this is a BIG deal! So he got my number and we started talking. THEN i find out he's talking to another females because she was the sister of my friends friend lol. small world right? anywho so sense i decided to forgive him sense theyve been talking for months and i had just met him it wasnt fair for me to get mad and luckily they dont talk anymore because he wants to be with me
but anyways i dont have a good history of boyfriends and i told him this because i dont want to say i know what i'm doing when i dont. so he was my boyfriend and i broke up with him because i got scared because iv never felt this strongly about some1 so fast! but i promised that i wouldnt break up with him so he lost trust in me and said i had to fight for him which iv been doing, but it seems like he not mentally there at times. it's not like it was in the beginning and i desperately want it to be. i mean i know he still cares because after we argue he'll call or i'll call and his friends tell me all he does is talk about me and how annoying it is. and the sexual chemistry is amazing and it feels like iv known him all my life!! what should i do? keep fighting for him because i did screw up hoping things will get back to how they used to b, or do you think he's already checked out pretty much and slowly pulling himself away?

Umm...sorry but I'm not "fighting" for ANY man. Either a man wants me or he doesn't. This guy seems like he's playing you or something. You shouldn't have to "fight" for him IMO. Even if you called it off because you got scared, if he really wants you he should be trying to calm your fears and pursue you gently. Not telling you that you have to "fight" for him. Please negro...go sit down.

You should not have to fight for any man. He is playing games. Either he wants to give it a go or he doesn't. I think you should take a step back and see if he pursues. If he doesn't I would move on.

Bingo... I couldn't agree more.

 

[awhyley]

Even if you called it off because you got scared, if he really wants you he should be trying to calm your fears and pursue you gently. Not telling you that you have to "fight" for him. Please negro...go sit down.

This is what I'm talking about. This dude doesn't sound the least bit concerned about your feelings, and that's something that you should be concerned about.

 

[varaneka]

I'm turned off by him FOR YOU because he thinks you need to fight for him.........ugh

and he knows you don't have a good history of bf's in the past. well, either a guy is going to step up and change that experience by showing you how a good bf behaves and treats his lady, or he will not.

 

[Kerryann]

how about u just fight him instead of for him for him just being a jackass

tell son to kick rocks lets see his reaction then. leave him alone and see what happens

 

[SilentRuby]

Umm...sorry but I'm not "fighting" for ANY man. Either a man wants me or he doesn't. This guy seems like he's playing you or something. You shouldn't have to "fight" for him IMO. Even if you called it off because you got scared, if he really wants you he should be trying to calm your fears and pursue you gently. Not telling you that you have to "fight" for him. Please negro...go sit down.



Bingo... I couldn't agree more.

how about u just fight him instead of for him for him just being a jackass

tell son to kick rocks lets see his reaction then. leave him alone and see what happens

 

[mscocoface]

You said you have a history of choosing bad relationships or the wrong boyfriend......this is another one.

When you determine what you truly want in a relationship, that you are WORTH FIGHTING FOR and also understand what you do to sabotage relationships you will choose wiser and better.


Remember the saying if it walks like a duck, and talks like a duck, it is a duck. This guy is just not that in to you. His loss.


I am hoping the best for you because you deserve it.

 

[L.Brown1114]

thanks for the replies ladies!! the advice i was getting from my friends was to fight for him and have the ball be in his court. i shouldnt have done that because in the beginning of the relationship he fought for me and it was great, but guys do lose interest and was new so its not like feelings cant just disappear!! i'm going to wait until he calls me, if he does, and tell him what u ladies are saying!! how i should be persued and if i was scared you should be persuing me gently and showing what a good boyfriend is. he automatically assumes it was my fault for my horrible history! anywho yeah this guys kcikin rocks cuz i'm moving on. i just got fed the **** up!

 

[Murjani]

How long have you two been dating?

 

[awhyley]

he automatically assumes it was my fault for my horrible history! anywho yeah this guys kcikin rocks cuz i'm moving on. i just got fed the **** up!

Like you said, it's time to move on.

 

[CoilyFields]

We always want men to pursue us...because we're supposedly worth it. So if you really feel strongly about him...whats wrong with pursuing him? ESPECIALLY since you're the one who broke up with him.

Dont let a good guy go south. I mean i havent heard you say anything was wrong with him.

Its natural for people to feel rejected WHEN WE REJECT THEM! And if we want them back we have to prove that its not just a passing fancy...or we wont get scarred and run again. And frankly he may be trying to figure out it you're really the one for him now since you left him before. Put as much effort into it as you would want him to put into pursuing you.

Guys do have feelings too...

 

[MissMeWithThatIsh]

Me and Bobby Valentino had the same connection. His eyes locked into mine when he sung to me through the TV in the Slow Down video.


Okay I'm fantasizing again... seriously though, take this in stride. He has a right to talk to anyone he wants.. and the friend should be more mad at him than you are! Relax and enjoy the situation for what it is. As much as you want to get him back, most men feel the need to chase you... it's very stupid...but it's the truth. Just be easy.

As far as YOU personally, I would tell you that you need to open yourself up to love. You sound scared as hell and it's not a good look, especially if it's someone you have a true connection with. You need to resolve that! Wishing you luck.

 

[PPGbubbles]

so i met this guy at sams club when i was getting some salmon for my mama and when i got up there to check out we locked eyes. I have never felt a connection like this in my life so fast. I mean it wasnt just lust it seemed like it was more, like we belonged. now i know i sound corny but i'm the type thats very pessimistic about relationships so for me to say this is a BIG deal! So he got my number and we started talking. THEN i find out he's talking to another females because she was the sister of my friends friend lol. small world right? anywho so sense i decided to forgive him sense theyve been talking for months and i had just met him it wasnt fair for me to get mad and luckily they dont talk anymore because he wants to be with me
but anyways i dont have a good history of boyfriends and i told him this because i dont want to say i know what i'm doing when i dont. so he was my boyfriend and i broke up with him because i got scared because iv never felt this strongly about some1 so fast! but i promised that i wouldnt break up with him so he lost trust in me and said i had to fight for him which iv been doing, but it seems like he not mentally there at times. it's not like it was in the beginning and i desperately want it to be. i mean i know he still cares because after we argue he'll call or i'll call and his friends tell me all he does is talk about me and how annoying it is. and the sexual chemistry is amazing and it feels like iv known him all my life!! what should i do? keep fighting for him because i did screw up hoping things will get back to how they used to b, or do you think he's already checked out pretty much and slowly pulling himself away?

Maybe im in the minority.... but I see why he wants you to fight! You broke up with him because things were fine and going welll quickly!

Im sorry hunny but you made it hard for him to trust you....U did that even after promising not too!....if you run when things are going too well how will you handle the bad?

If you care for him fight for him! you did make an error... but if you feel like it is a lost cause move on an never make that mistake again with the next one!