I Was Lost But Now Am Found

VictoriousBrownFlower

Well-Known Member
I was sick for 9 yrs with cripling fear. I had fear in everything people, the devil, life in general but the lord is freeing me. I thought I would die in it and tried to commit suicide many times. One time I was almost successful but God purged me of the pills without me even knowing it. I just remember waking up the next day to my dad telling me what did you take? There's blood and vomit all over the bathroom sink and toilet.

Since the 13th of March God has been working in me. He's been working in my mind to quell my fears. He's given me confidence in my power through him, faith, and hope. He spoke to my spirit telling me I was special, and my life would be a miracle but I didn't believe him until now. He told me everything works in favor for the one that loves the Lord. That what you reap in tears you will sow in joy. He's told me everything I went through will be used. Nothing was a mistake but I was meant to go through the pain so he could be shown through me.

For so long I was trusting in my abilities when God was telling me trust in him. That he would exalt me. My life was not an accident but was orchestrated by him. He will use my life to honor his name. That's why it had to be impossible in the natural because he wanted to show he was real through my story. I'm in the process of writing a book about my story named miracles within. God still does miracles. He's doing one in me right now.
 
I'm happy for you. Please don't hesitate to speak with your doctor and get a full medical and ask for a referral for a counselor. There are many licensed christian counselors who can help you stay on track to healing.
 
Thanks a lot Shimmie. I never thought this could happen to me but now I know God made it seem impossible because he wanted his glory to be shown in my testimony. I couldn't have done it without him. He truly saved my life, and it was for a reason. The devil is a liar. He told me I was worth nothing but now I know I am worth so much to God.

Kanozas I'm in councilling but it never worked. I'm on medication and it does work but God took me the rest of the way. I use to have this dark cloud over me. I felt nothing but fear, anxiety, confusion, disbelief. I kept going to God but couldn't feel him. I knew you can't follow your feelings and I didn't. My feelings told me to stop seeking God. THat he wasn't with me but I kept going, searching, praying. Then finally one day he came to me and revived my soul. He took me out of the darkness and brought me to the light.

I've made more progress in one month than I have in a year with medicine and councilling. I do believe God put the right people in my life though. I love my doctors and they push me to do more. THey listen and are very helpful but they could never do what God did. God changed my whole belief.
 
I realized something. Without God I feel like I'm worth nothing. I can do nothing, but with him I could have nothing but feel like I have everything. His presence in all consuming, all encompasing. It just feels so good to have him back. He brings such a peace to my mind, and hope. I want nothing from him but his presence. When he comes he changes you in a way that nothing else can. He takes all the worry, all the fear, all the lack away and brings such a peace. You don't know how much you love something until it's gone. Nothing's changed but him coming back and I feel whole.
 
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