I want to abstain... How do you do it?

[*SkolarStar*]

People need to understand that women have urges too. I feel like society just expect men to be the ones to take cold showers and exercise when they have urges but sometimes I get to that point too d@mmit! I get to that point too!!

For those who are successfully abstaining from coloring until being in a exclusive relationship or marriage. What are you doing to keep from thinking about it? Running? Hitting a punching bag? Yoga? What's your secret??? erplexed

 

[virgo_chinwe]

Keeping yourself busy...helps me. I really need to get into a physical hobby like yoga again...I used to do hot yoga. And it doesn't hurt to have a flick around every now and then just to keep me cool and collected lol. My urges are pretty beasty. I also entertain more male friendships due to abstaining for some reason. It's kind of my way learn how to develop more tangible relationships with men that are not dominated by physical attraction. I also get to have that male attention I would seek in a bf/husband without physical contact---its really mentally refreshing. I think by doing so...I am low key preparing myself to be a good wife and more in-tune wife/gf. Alot of my male friends impart useful knowledge about successful relationships.

 

[Renewed1]

Lots of praying....

Activities, I recently joined several meetup groups, so meeting people is good.

Long walks/exercising to loud music.

I enjoy writing fiction; so I work out my frustrations on my characters. (Nothing sexual).

I do a video diary expressing my pent up frustrations and other things. This helps me release those feelings.

I noticed recently I shop alot during my period. So I think I'm compensating not having sex with shopping. I got alot of junk in my closet. I need to stop this bad habit.

Sometimes, I will read a romantic novel with rated "R" stuff in it. But this is rare and I must be at a point, where I'm about to grab the first guy I see and ride him.

Basically, find something that will allow you to release those pent-up desires. It's been over 5 years since I had sex. I'm pretty good at controlling my desires. But um I'll be 35 this year and my biological clock is going BOOM BOOM BOOM.

 

[janiebaby]

People need to understand that women have urges too. I feel like society just expect men to be the ones to take cold showers and exercise when they have urges but sometimes I get to that point too d@mmit! I get to that point too!!

For those who are successfully abstaining from coloring until being in a exclusive relationship or marriage. What are you doing to keep from thinking about it? Running? Hitting a punching bag? Yoga? What's your secret??? erplexed

Are you in a relationship now or are you trying to abstain from getting a cut buddy? Sorry for the questions if they seem too personal..

 

[LifeafterLHCF]

As the ladies have said prayer and keeping busy..Im trying to break the habit of self indulgence and I may have to bust out with some jumping jacks if I get the urge at night again..I want to be clean pure and under control if and when I marry.

 

[itsjusthair88]

Exercise...I work 2 jobs now (my regular job and I started my own event planning business...keeps me VERY busy), umm, lots of reading, a dirty movie or 2 and meditation.

 

[*SkolarStar*]

Are you in a relationship now or are you trying to abstain from getting a cut buddy? Sorry for the questions if they seem too personal..

I'm not in a relationship right now. I'm trying to restrain from turing guys with potential into cut buddies for coloring too soon. There's a guy right now who is just and I need to hold off. But I also need to send my energy elsewhere somehow.

Thanks for the tips, keep 'em coming (no pun intended ).

 

[janiebaby]

I'm not in a relationship right now. I'm trying to restrain from turing guys with potential into cut buddies for coloring too soon. There's a guy right now who is just and I need to hold off. But I also need to send my energy elsewhere somehow.

Thanks for the tips, keep 'em coming (no pun intended ).

Ok, I was about to say find one you don't like and hit it and quit it but I see what you're saying now. Hmmm I'm in the same predicament sooooo I don't have any good advice but stay away from him I know if I get so much as a kiss it's curtains

 

[chickle]

its so confusing to me too! its like at what point do you stop? are u allowed to kiss?

 

[Windsy]

For those who are abstaining are you allowed to self-color?

I did it yearsss ago for 1 year....I thought I had a sex demon and wanted to prove that I didn't so I tried it for 1 year. I stayed busy, prayed, read and I certainly didn't self-color; self-coloring increases the urges for me.

 

[Windsy]

its so confusing to me too! its like at what point do you stop? are u allowed to kiss?

I would say don't do anything at all. Even kissing can get the flower moist and thumping.

 

[Do_Si_Dos]

The best advice I can offer is to keep your dates in public places. No redbox nights or cooking..

 

[RoseTintedCheeks]

being involved with Church and other volunteering opportunities.

Keeping myself busy with my hair, exercise, clothes, etc.

Dates in public and during the day instead of nighttime.

Wrap up those late-night phone conversations. <-- Keeps them wanting more anyway.

All about self-control and living for something bigger than myself.

 

[nicole625]

@op, i am wondering the same thing. i went from questiong whether i was a sex addict,lol to stopping cold turkey a few months ago. im so glad you started this post. let's hope to receive a ton of advice.

btw, staying extremely busy is what has helped me but i can feel that it isn't working as much as it did in the beginning. good luck to you!

 

[GoingNatural]

long-term vision and self pleasure

 

[vevster]

As the ladies have said prayer and keeping busy..Im trying to break the habit of self indulgence and I may have to bust out with some jumping jacks if I get the urge at night again..I want to be clean pure and under control if and when I marry.

Your neighbors will love you.