I wanna dang perm!

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Why is it "bad" that she wants a straight look?!

Dang, a sista saying she needs a change in her appearance and all the sudden "it's" bad. People kill me....

Why are you taking it so personally?

By the way asymertyme (sp?) presented it seemed like she was having a fit with her natural hair

Assumertyme, whatever you decide it will be fine. Relaxers are not permanent- they can be grown out.

 

[Southernbella.]

Now you know I'm going to do this in the next "I'm going natural" thread, dontcha?

Look what you done started

Alright, don't get me in trouble!

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Just do what you do girl! I'm not trying to convert no one or make them change their mind about being relaxed or natural. I'm not getting paid to defend either hair type so why get mad. Do what makes you feel happy inside!

 

[getmoore]

Wow . I recently made that decision. I thought about it for a good four months before I actually relaxed my hair! I want to see if I can grow out my relaxed hair so I relaxed after being natural for a long time. I don't regret it at all! I love my natural hair, but I also love my relaxed hair. I'm sure I'll be natural again. I think I'll just go back and forth every few years. I need that change from time to time! Enjoy your hair girl!

 

[Qetesh]

I am not going to tell you that you HAVE to do either or, I don’t personally know how it is to deal with you hair ext.

I would suggest you try a straight wig for a few days and hold off.

Personally I feel you have many more options with natural hair than you do with relaxed hair (afro, chunky twists, blow out)
So of course I am going to say stay natural, its what makes you unique and your hair type truly you when you relax your hair you become a cookie cut out of a relaxed hair type (not to offend anyone who is relaxed)

 

[glamazon386]

Asummertyme,

Thats how I felt about my relaxed hair. I was tired of it. So I just hacked it all off. Get a blowout first and see if you like it. Then do whatever you feel is best for you. I'm sure it'll look great

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Ok so this may ruffle some feathers, but it's not meant to...I'm just trying to gain an understanding of some of the advice given in situations like these...

1. If a natural wears straight hair ALL the time, meaning bi-weekly presses, etc, how does that really make her different from a relaxed head? So she doesn't use chemicals, ok...but she still looks like a relaxed head, and if she likes the look so much that she uses some ungodly amount of heat to get the same look that a relaxer could give her, what really is the difference? I've only had a blowout once and I vowed to never do that to my hair or my scalp again. I've never burned from a relaxer the way that fire-spitting blowdryer burned me. I had to apply aloe vera gel to heal my scalp after the blowout. Maybe the idea is that if one day she decided to no longer press, she'd be able to back to a curly style without transitioning or a big chop, but with consistent use of heat over time, we all know that some patches (or even the whole head) will permanently straighten and the texture is lost. Anyway, I'm just trying to understand the logic in that.

2. What is the point in being natural if you're wearing weaves and/or braids all the time? If the idea is to grow out relaxed hair and transition because you're "tired of relaxed hair" or you want to "embrace your natural hair" then why use wigs and weaves? I guess I can understand using them to get past a phase (i.e. TWA or neck to shoulder, etc) but I see naturals here who wear weaves all the time. I don't understand that.

3. I totally agree with getmoore. Asummertyme, whatever decision you make isn't TRULY permanent. Yes, a relaxer will permanently straight a portion of your hair, but your hair is constantly GROWING and at any time, you can cut or process any portion of your hair. I understand that this decision can be a tough one (TRUST ME, I know) but you're better served by doing what you feel like doing and not feeling boxed in by the fact that you're natural and people want you to stay that way. Do what feels best for YOU. Like getmoore, you can always swing back to natural hair when you feel like it.

{DI}

ETA: To anyone who is militant about natural or relaxed hair, please save it. I'm not even one to be engaged in that kind of nonsense. I'm asking questions to get answers, THAT'S IT. I haven't had a texturizer since December nor have I chopped any hair off in an effort to be completely natural so CLEARLY I'm not bent on one or the other. That is all.

 

[Bublnbrnsuga]

Ok so this may ruffle some feathers, but it's not meant to...I'm just trying to gain an understanding of some of the advice given in situations like these...

1. If a natural wears straight hair ALL the time, meaning bi-weekly presses, etc, how does that really make her different from a relaxed head? So she doesn't use chemicals, ok...but she still looks like a relaxed head, and if she likes the look so much that she uses some ungodly amount of heat to get the same look that a relaxer could give her, what really is the difference? I've only had a blowout once and I vowed to never do that to my hair or my scalp again. I've never burned from a relaxer the way that fire-spitting blowdryer burned me. I had to apply aloe vera gel to heal my scalp after the blowout. Maybe the idea is that if one day she decided to no longer press, she'd be able to back to a curly style without transitioning or a big chop, but with consistent use of heat over time, we all know that some patches (or even the whole head) will permanently straighten and the texture is lost. Anyway, I'm just trying to understand the logic in that.

2. What is the point in being natural if you're wearing weaves and/or braids all the time? If the idea is to grow out relaxed hair and transition because you're "tired of relaxed hair" or you want to "embrace your natural hair" then why use wigs and weaves? I guess I can understand using them to get past a phase (i.e. TWA or neck to shoulder, etc) but I see naturals here who wear weaves all the time. I don't understand that.

3. I totally agree with getmoore. Asummertyme, whatever decision you make isn't TRULY permanent. Yes, a relaxer will permanently straight a portion of your hair, but your hair is constantly GROWING and at any time, you can cut or process any portion of your hair. I understand that this decision can be a tough one (TRUST ME, I know) but you're better served by doing what you feel like doing and not feeling boxed in by the fact that you're natural and people want you to stay that way. Do what feels best for YOU. Like getmoore, you can always swing back to natural hair when you feel like it.

{DI}

ETA: To anyone who is militant about natural or relaxed hair, please save it. I'm not even one to be engaged in that kind of nonsense. I'm asking questions to get answers, THAT'S IT. I haven't had a texturizer since December nor have I chopped any hair off in an effort to be completely natural so CLEARLY I'm not bent on one or the other. That is all.

Let the feathers be ruffled!! ITA!!

 

[WhipEffectz1]

Some people become too engrossed when discussing natural and relaxer hair. Sometimes, I think we need to post a debate thread where people can let out all their frustrations with each other. People say its not that serious but it must be if one is posting 3 or more paragraphs about the matter at hand. Sheesh, no one paying me to endorse either one.

 

[Divine Inspiration]

Some people become too engrossed when discussing natural and relaxer hair. Sometimes, I think we need to post a debate thread where people can let out all their frustrations with each other. People say its not that serious but it must be if one is posting 3 or more paragraphs about the matter at hand. Sheesh, no one paying me to endorse either one.

Not sure if the line in bold was directed at me but being that my post was the longest in the thread, I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it was.

And in response, I'm not sure if you read the whole thing, but it really has nothing to do with a relaxed vs. natural debate. I was trying to understand the position of some of the naturals/natural advocates on the board.

And yes, the issue, in my opinion, does warrant 3 paragraphs for me because I want to know the answers to my questions. Since I am a contributing and paying LHCF member, I'm entitled to that. Like you, no one is paying me to endorse either one...hence the reason I want to understand certain points of view.

 

[WhipEffectz1]

If the shoe fits..........enough said! I've spoken my point.

 

[Crackers Phinn]

1. If a natural wears straight hair ALL the time, meaning bi-weekly presses, etc, how does that really make her different from a relaxed head? So she doesn't use chemicals, ok...but she still looks like a relaxed head, and if she likes the look so much that she uses some ungodly amount of heat to get the same look that a relaxer could give her, what really is the difference? I've only had a blowout once and I vowed to never do that to my hair or my scalp again. I've never burned from a relaxer the way that fire-spitting blowdryer burned me. I had to apply aloe vera gel to heal my scalp after the blowout. Maybe the idea is that if one day she decided to no longer press, she'd be able to back to a curly style without transitioning or a big chop, but with consistent use of heat over time, we all know that some patches (or even the whole head) will permanently straighten and the texture is lost. Anyway, I'm just trying to understand the logic in that.

Strictly speaking for myself, I don't hate the perm. I HATES the touch up. Worrying about having enough new growth so as not to over/under process is a hugemongous pain in the ***. Then you gots to worry whether you or your stylist will base just enough so that the permed new growth a)doesn't burn the ish outta you or b)looks to be a similar texture as old perm. Not to mention trying to wear your hair in a way so that you don't look crazy with an inch or two of new growth is always fun. Finding the right amount of time to stretch ain't for the faint of heart, especially when you start finding fist full sizes of shed hair after washes.

That's too much for me to keep up with. If I want to maintain straight hair, it seems easier to just pull out the maxiglide once a week.

Again for me, being natural isn't linked with afrocentricity, I'm just going the route that seems easier for me to grow my hair long. And when it is long, I'm most likely going to straighten it more often than I do now.

ETA:

1. I also don't get that hung up over the title 'natural'.
2. If somebody wants to consistently wear their hair straight and using heat leaves some areas permanently straight, then it's a no harm-no foul situation.
3.I have been burned by perms, but not by a blow dryer.

 

[isobell]

I hate to state a point which is blatantly obvious but some people's hair handle's heat better than a relaxer, and vice versa. Not everyone loses hair texture or suffers heat damage. For many people relaxers de-bulk their hair too much and they cannot have their hair full AND straight unless it's pressed or blown out. What does it matter anyway if a person wants to wear their natural hair straight the majority of the time, nobody tells the legions of white women, asian women etc who blow fry their hair straight everyday to just get a relaxer. Not directed to the OP but why are black women so often having to defend the choices they make for their own hair?

 

[patient1]

Just live it out Asummerytime! My mom always tells me to wait 7 days before acting on a thought, but hey...that's her gospel not mine.

If you want to relax, do it.

For myself, my natural hair is a lifestyle choice, likely a lifetime decision, africentric, etc...all that, but that only applies to me. Fry it, dye, tie it down, weave it up. Girl do whatever you want to do to your hair, follow your instincts, and most importantly ENJOY.

Enjoy your hair. If having natural hair is not enjoyable then don't have natural hair. There are lots of heads of attractive relaxed hair here for inspiration. If you relax and decide you want to do natural hair again, well...you ain't said nothing but a word. You can go back and forth as many times as you desire. Know what I mean?

p1

 

[patient1]

Not directed to the OP but why are black women so often having to defend the choices they make for their own hair?

Hair choices, body choices, men choices, name choices, pregnancy choices, choices, choices, choices ad nauseum.

However, I have a remedy. If each individual woman of hue would not waste a breath defending a DAYUM thing...imagine the stillness. Cause really, when you get down to it one does not HAVE to do anything. I indulge in it very rarely...creeps up on me during moments of boredom and idleness.

p1

 

[MizaniMami]

Some people become too engrossed when discussing natural and relaxer hair. Sometimes, I think we need to post a debate thread where people can let out all their frustrations with each other. People say its not that serious but it must be if one is posting 3 or more paragraphs about the matter at hand. Sheesh, no one paying me to endorse either one.

Sometimes think that too, but it would serve no good.

It's the passive agressive thing that gets me. People saying something without really saying it. It's all good though. I respect that everyone has their own opinions.

 

[asummertyme]

Honestly yall, i have been thinking about relaxing for months..i have been killing myself tryin to talk myslef out of it..i was trying to hold on afew more months..with my hair natural, i have worn it out all of 3 months...tops..i have weaved wigged and braided all the rest of the while..but my hair cannot handle a bone strait relaxer..my hair is fine so..what is a sister to do..maybe get a texturizer and then a dominican blow out...maybe a press..but i am afraid i may burn my hair like i did with my flat iron, and i and to cut that peice of hair off b/c , it would not revert back...
anyhoo..i dunno...i know one thing..i am tired...but i gots to do something to my head...right now i am wearing a str8 wig, but i aint feelin it like that..i only wear it with a hat or a hear band..i hate that wiggy look it has..
something has to give...

 

[determined_to_grow]

hmmm- did you ever think of the texlax thing???? There are alot of women here who do it and I think that is what's going on right now with my hair.... But I would suggest you do it or get someone who can actually do it. But first you should try getting a blow out, press your hair or flat iron it straight to see how you like it...

Honestly yall, i have been thinking about relaxing for months..i have been killing myself tryin to talk myslef out of it..i was trying to hold on afew more months..with my hair natural, i have worn it out all of 3 months...tops..i have weaved wigged and braided all the rest of the while..but my hair cannot handle a bone strait relaxer..my hair is fine so..what is a sister to do..maybe get a texturizer and then a dominican blow out...maybe a press..but i am afraid i may burn my hair like i did with my flat iron, and i and to cut that peice of hair off b/c , it would not revert back...
anyhoo..i dunno...i know one thing..i am tired...but i gots to do something to my head...right now i am wearing a str8 wig, but i aint feelin it like that..i only wear it with a hat or a hear band..i hate that wiggy look it has..
something has to give...

 

[Cooyah]

2. What is the point in being natural if you're wearing weaves and/or braids all the time? If the idea is to grow out relaxed hair and transition because you're "tired of relaxed hair" or you want to "embrace your natural hair" then why use wigs and weaves? I guess I can understand using them to get past a phase (i.e. TWA or neck to shoulder, etc) but I see naturals here who wear weaves all the time. I don't understand that.

for me it's the same as someone wearing a bun 365, protective style to get over a hump. I don't plan to stop protective styling until I get to at least APL, then I will floss the fro a bit. But it's going right back to PS until I get to WSL. It's all about long hair, and I'll enjoy it when I get it.

this is just in relation to me answering the question posed by DI.

Asummertyme, relax if you want, go to the doms, do something different.

 

[locabouthair]

i feel you jcoily. there are good and bad on both sides.

 

[Ebonygurl00]

Well, I know that asummertyme's hair will look great no matter what she does to it.

 

[asummertyme]

thanx gurl...^^

 

[Divine Inspiration]

JCoily and Cooyah, thank you for answering my questions. You both gave me a different perspective that I hadn't considered.

Your responses are greatly appreciated.

 

[beyondcute]

LOL! Okay!!!


BlackC, girl you right. My bad BeyondCute. I just get so defensive when it comes to this type of subject. I didn't mean to get so negative in that thread. I hope you forgive me homey.

Its all love. It just threw me off cuz it seems ot have come out of nowhere. Most people relax again because thye are new to the natural game and cant deal with thier hair but she's had it so long Im actually kinda suprised that she is haveing issues with it this far down the line... I didnt mean it like that though. Change is good! Do you boo!

 

[Poohbear]

Ok so this may ruffle some feathers, but it's not meant to...I'm just trying to gain an understanding of some of the advice given in situations like these...

1. If a natural wears straight hair ALL the time, meaning bi-weekly presses, etc, how does that really make her different from a relaxed head? So she doesn't use chemicals, ok...but she still looks like a relaxed head, and if she likes the look so much that she uses some ungodly amount of heat to get the same look that a relaxer could give her, what really is the difference? I've only had a blowout once and I vowed to never do that to my hair or my scalp again. I've never burned from a relaxer the way that fire-spitting blowdryer burned me. I had to apply aloe vera gel to heal my scalp after the blowout. Maybe the idea is that if one day she decided to no longer press, she'd be able to back to a curly style without transitioning or a big chop, but with consistent use of heat over time, we all know that some patches (or even the whole head) will permanently straighten and the texture is lost. Anyway, I'm just trying to understand the logic in that.

2. What is the point in being natural if you're wearing weaves and/or braids all the time? If the idea is to grow out relaxed hair and transition because you're "tired of relaxed hair" or you want to "embrace your natural hair" then why use wigs and weaves? I guess I can understand using them to get past a phase (i.e. TWA or neck to shoulder, etc) but I see naturals here who wear weaves all the time. I don't understand that.

3. I totally agree with getmoore. Asummertyme, whatever decision you make isn't TRULY permanent. Yes, a relaxer will permanently straight a portion of your hair, but your hair is constantly GROWING and at any time, you can cut or process any portion of your hair. I understand that this decision can be a tough one (TRUST ME, I know) but you're better served by doing what you feel like doing and not feeling boxed in by the fact that you're natural and people want you to stay that way. Do what feels best for YOU. Like getmoore, you can always swing back to natural hair when you feel like it.

{DI}

ETA: To anyone who is militant about natural or relaxed hair, please save it. I'm not even one to be engaged in that kind of nonsense. I'm asking questions to get answers, THAT'S IT. I haven't had a texturizer since December nor have I chopped any hair off in an effort to be completely natural so CLEARLY I'm not bent on one or the other. That is all.

Divine Inspiration, get outta my head! I've thought the exact same thing before. Excellent points!

 

[melodee]

It's normal to want the opposite of what you have. Try a blowout.

Country, where do you get your blowout?

 

[asummertyme]

yes, my sister is natural ..and she told me the ladies didnt wanna do her hair and they were angry b/c, they had to blow out all of her natural hair..ima be a nagry black woman if they do that 2 me...but i do want to clip my ends..

 

[Ms Red]

Ok so this may ruffle some feathers, but it's not meant to...I'm just trying to gain an understanding of some of the advice given in situations like these...

1. If a natural wears straight hair ALL the time, meaning bi-weekly presses, etc, how does that really make her different from a relaxed head? So she doesn't use chemicals, ok...but she still looks like a relaxed head, and if she likes the look so much that she uses some ungodly amount of heat to get the same look that a relaxer could give her, what really is the difference? I've only had a blowout once and I vowed to never do that to my hair or my scalp again. I've never burned from a relaxer the way that fire-spitting blowdryer burned me. I had to apply aloe vera gel to heal my scalp after the blowout. Maybe the idea is that if one day she decided to no longer press, she'd be able to back to a curly style without transitioning or a big chop, but with consistent use of heat over time, we all know that some patches (or even the whole head) will permanently straighten and the texture is lost. Anyway, I'm just trying to understand the logic in that.

2. What is the point in being natural if you're wearing weaves and/or braids all the time? If the idea is to grow out relaxed hair and transition because you're "tired of relaxed hair" or you want to "embrace your natural hair" then why use wigs and weaves? I guess I can understand using them to get past a phase (i.e. TWA or neck to shoulder, etc) but I see naturals here who wear weaves all the time. I don't understand that.

3. I totally agree with getmoore. Asummertyme, whatever decision you make isn't TRULY permanent. Yes, a relaxer will permanently straight a portion of your hair, but your hair is constantly GROWING and at any time, you can cut or process any portion of your hair. I understand that this decision can be a tough one (TRUST ME, I know) but you're better served by doing what you feel like doing and not feeling boxed in by the fact that you're natural and people want you to stay that way. Do what feels best for YOU. Like getmoore, you can always swing back to natural hair when you feel like it.

{DI}

ETA: To anyone who is militant about natural or relaxed hair, please save it. I'm not even one to be engaged in that kind of nonsense. I'm asking questions to get answers, THAT'S IT. I haven't had a texturizer since December nor have I chopped any hair off in an effort to be completely natural so CLEARLY I'm not bent on one or the other. That is all.

A year and a half ago I would have strongly been insulted. Now I whole-heartedly agree.

 

[Wishin4BSL]

for me it's the same as someone wearing a bun 365, protective style to get over a hump. I don't plan to stop protective styling until I get to at least APL, then I will floss the fro a bit. But it's going right back to PS until I get to WSL. It's all about long hair, and I'll enjoy it when I get it.

this is just in relation to me answering the question posed by DI.

Asummertyme, relax if you want, go to the doms, do something different.

This is me too. I'm PS until APL, then PS till BSL. If I'm still not satisfied (although I'm almost positive that I will be) then I'll PS until MBL, but I doubt I'll want to get that far. Never know though.....

But yeah, relaxing isn't bad in my opinion (though I'm relaxed), but it IS permanent. You should be ABSOLUTELY SURE before you do it!

 

[plove]

Ok so this may ruffle some feathers, but it's not meant to...I'm just trying to gain an understanding of some of the advice given in situations like these...

1. If a natural wears straight hair ALL the time, meaning bi-weekly presses, etc, how does that really make her different from a relaxed head? So she doesn't use chemicals, ok...but she still looks like a relaxed head, and if she likes the look so much that she uses some ungodly amount of heat to get the same look that a relaxer could give her, what really is the difference? I've only had a blowout once and I vowed to never do that to my hair or my scalp again. I've never burned from a relaxer the way that fire-spitting blowdryer burned me. I had to apply aloe vera gel to heal my scalp after the blowout. Maybe the idea is that if one day she decided to no longer press, she'd be able to back to a curly style without transitioning or a big chop, but with consistent use of heat over time, we all know that some patches (or even the whole head) will permanently straighten and the texture is lost. Anyway, I'm just trying to understand the logic in that.
ITA

2. What is the point in being natural if you're wearing weaves and/or braids all the time? If the idea is to grow out relaxed hair and transition because you're "tired of relaxed hair" or you want to "embrace your natural hair" then why use wigs and weaves? I guess I can understand using them to get past a phase (i.e. TWA or neck to shoulder, etc) but I see naturals here who wear weaves all the time. I don't understand that.

I'm a natural and I wear braids all the time.
I'm not tired of relaxed hair. I think it's just hair and you can go back a fourth. This is the second time i went natural.I embrace my hair no matter what i do to it. I'm not owning up to being a natural because I don't wear my hair out. I don't have a problem with my natural hair because the last time I was natural I didn't wear braids. I just rock my natural hair.
I want long hair right now so that is why i stay in braids. (I'm also hair lazy)


3. I totally agree with getmoore. Asummertyme, whatever decision you make isn't TRULY permanent. Yes, a relaxer will permanently straight a portion of your hair, but your hair is constantly GROWING and at any time, you can cut or process any portion of your hair. I understand that this decision can be a tough one (TRUST ME, I know) but you're better served by doing what you feel like doing and not feeling boxed in by the fact that you're natural and people want you to stay that way. Do what feels best for YOU. Like getmoore, you can always swing back to natural hair when you feel like it.

I think Asummertyme should do what she wants to do because in the end she have to live with it.

{DI}

ETA: To anyone who is militant about natural or relaxed hair, please save it. I'm not even one to be engaged in that kind of nonsense. I'm asking questions to get answers, THAT'S IT. I haven't had a texturizer since December nor have I chopped any hair off in an effort to be completely natural so CLEARLY I'm not bent on one or the other. That is all.

I hopes this helps