I THINK I WILL RELAX.....:(

[Mandy4610]

I am feeling the same way but I think it's harder for me because I can't wear scarfs and headbands while I am in uniform in order to try something different. I got micro braids today after having kinky twist and I don't like them at all. I think I am going to get more kinky twist after I take my micros out in a few days. I'm seriously thinking about relaxing though. Hopefully we can both hang in there.

We will all need each others support. I think hanging in there is the best thing for me to do right now. I think I need to find something to take my mind off my hair.

 

[Mandy4610]

I am so sorry that I am so confused by this "to relax or not to relax thing". Everyday I see or hear something that makes me want to relax.
DH has not said much about my hair since I BCed, so today I decided to ask him how he feels about it. He said he liked my relaxed hair better, but it was really up to me, as long as it is my real hair.
Do be honest I am just not finding any pleasure in working with my TWA at the moment. I can not make my mind up. I know DH does not care much what my hair texture is.....dang, I am having the worst time with this.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I know it is hard! I have been down this road 9 times, hubby is tired of me big choppin, he don't care if I am natural or relaxed he just want my hair to grow out! But do what you feel your heart is telling you! I know it feels like a tug o war! But if you aren't happy with a Twa, then this might not be the right time for you, I know we a beautiful selection of Relaxed, Natural & Texlaxed heads on here,and it is hard!! I am with you! I guess that is why most women Transition because they don't or can't deal with very short hair!! You will be fine!! Stop racking your brain I can see it is really getting to you and sometimes you wanna cry! But don't let it!!! We are here for you no matter what! I have went through this 9 times and still had the same support! Just do what makes you happy.

 

[Mandy4610]

I know it is hard! I have been down this road 9 times, hubby is tired of me big choppin, he don't care if I am natural or relaxed he just want my hair to grow out! But do what you feel your heart is telling you! I know it feels like a tug o war! But if you aren't happy with a Twa, then this might not be the right time for you, I know we a beautiful selection of Relaxed, Natural & Texlaxed heads on here,and it is hard!! I am with you! I guess that is why most women Transition because they don't or can't deal with very short hair!! You will be fine!! Stop racking your brain I can see it is really getting to you and sometimes you wanna cry! But don't let it!!! We are here for you no matter what! I have went through this 9 times and still had the same support! Just do what makes you happy.

I am going absolutely insane with this. I have never felt like this about my hair. This is really really hard...I think it is even harder because I have to make the decision, it is making me wish someone could just tell me what is right for me, but I know I will have to make the decision.

 

[d-rock]

I've never been there...but maybe you could get braids or kinky twists for a style change?

I ditto this. I keep my hair in these styles most of the time. More styling options and protects my hair while it's growing.

 

[ImFree27]

yup im boerd with my hair too, so i either straighten it, or put a wig on or get a sew in weave, i think im go wig shopping this weekend, or maybe do a sew in if i'm up to it. i wouldnt relax if i was boerd, just put a wig on, its a quick fix and its fun

 

[Aggie]

I am going absolutely insane with this. I have never felt like this about my hair. This is really really hard...I think it is even harder because I have to make the decision, it is making me wish someone could just tell me what is right for me, but I know I will have to make the decision.

I just PM'ed you Mandy.

 

[DDTexlaxed]

I think I and Signature Beauty have the BC/ relax record on LHCF. I relaxed 3 months after my BC. I missed the ease of relaxed hair and style options. If you want a happy medium, texlax. I let a stylist relax me bone strait and I don't like that. I am going to grow out my hair and texlax it. I can do wash n gos and roller sets. The best of both worlds.

 

[Aggie]

I think I and Signature Beauty have the BC/ relax record on LHCF. I relaxed 3 months after my BC. I missed the ease of relaxed hair and style options. If you want a happy medium, texlax. I let a stylist relax me bone strait and I don't like that. I am going to grow out my hair and texlax it. I can do wash n gos and roller sets. The best of both worlds.

I'm not texlaxed, but I totally agree. I can see me texlaxed but I can't see myself chopping off my hair to do so.

 

[thebraudgroup]

well, that was going to be my suggestion. I went natural because I thought I would like it, and I didn't. Natual hair is not for me. But I was scared to relax. But I was bored with my hair. So I texturized it, and that helped a lot. Now that it's longer, I have the option of flat ironing, which I don't really do - but at least I have the option. I think we all get bored at one time or another. But putting a chemical in your hair is the point of no return. And as someone stated before, if you don't fix the problem, it'll still be there. Now you're back to square one. When my hair was really really short, I washed it every day. It grew VERY quickly. You have options, just hang in there. And we're here to support you!

 

[SignatureBeauty]

I think I and Signature Beauty have the BC/ relax record on LHCF. I relaxed 3 months after my BC. I missed the ease of relaxed hair and style options. If you want a happy medium, texlax. I let a stylist relax me bone strait and I don't like that. I am going to grow out my hair and texlax it. I can do wash n gos and roller sets. The best of both worlds.

Okay!! We know how to set that Record and I have already Texlaxed it 2 days ago , I saw your hair and I was like wow she has some pretty shiny hair!! My texlax is still curly and I can't wait for it to grow on out!!

Good Luck Mandy!!!

 

[Amour]

OP I had / have a similar continuing problem. I hated my relaxed hair because it was thin and lifeless and breaking, so I decided to transition to natural.

Half way through my transition i felt i couldnt handle my 4Z hair so i decided to texlax.

Texlaxing proved to be a big, messy, mistake as i still had relaxed ends and 20 other different hair textures to my hair

now, im considering relaxing again but im concerned abt the uneven textures and the thin, lifeless hair I was running away from......... erplexed

 

[Mandy4610]

OP I had / have a similar continuing problem. I hated my relaxed hair because it was thin and lifeless and breaking, so I decided to transition to natural.

Half way through my transition i felt i couldnt handle my 4Z hair so i decided to texlax.

Texlaxing proved to be a big, messy, mistake as i still had relaxed ends and 20 other different hair textures to my hair

now, im considering relaxing again but im concerned abt the uneven textures and the thin, lifeless hair I was running away from......... erplexed

Its a tough decision and one that should not be rushed, thats what I am learning. I am taking one day at a time and everyday that goes by is one more day of staying natural, so I will see.

 

[NaturalNelly]

Hey Mandy,
I understand your pain. I was forced into this last transition to natural after a hairdresser burned a patch of my hair off during a touch up and there was no saving it and I NEVER want to relax again. I have gone natural numerous times in my life, doing to BC and loving it. I know that the point where your hair is now sucks, but I would suggest doing two strand twists with it. It will look like small locks, and as the days go by you can re-twist them to give them more length. I did that one time while I was natural and soon those twists were able to be put in a ponytail and be styled.

If that does not float your boat, consider getting a press and curl. It will give you a much needed style change and maybe increase your confidence that you hair really is versatile and is steadily making the growth progress that you want.

Good luck, and I really do hope you stay natural!

 

[glamazon386]

Get a weave or braids to take your mind off it. I always looked at it as I didn't cut all my hair off for NOTHING whenever I had a weak moment.

 

[tocktick]

imo, if you choose to relax you should be at the point where you're happy and confident in your decision. your choice shouldn't prompt you to feel upset or a "failure" etc because then it's likely once you're relaxed, you'll still not be 100% satisfied with your hair.

if you believe you've exhausted all avenues in trying to find a solution to your hair problems then you should be able to be confident in your decision. just make sure you research the pros and cons of being relaxed, products that may work for you and the style options available to you at your current length. otherwise, you may find that the same problems you have as a natural are there as a relaxed head.

personally speaking, i felt like i looked like a boy when i bc'd and my hair was short. i received hardly any compliments irl. now that my hair is longer and super thick, the compliments roll in all the time, even from strangers. it sucks that it had to be that way but what can you do? imo, it's easy to transition in comparison to the mental transition one has to make. i had to not rely on others to validate me and i had to realise that my femininity could be expressed in other ways besides hair.

i truly hope that if you relax that this will be the solution for you and you'll not regret it. i don't think hair should make you very unhappy, so just do what you feel in your heart is best for you. don't make a snap decision based on your current frustration. good luck!

 

[*Muffin*]

Whatever decision you make, just make sure it's really what you want. If you want to remain natural then you could try and learn some new styles and different ways of wearing your natural hair. Also, if you want to relax make sure that you're willing to devote time to DC'ing and keeping your hair very healthy and moisturized so you don't experience the same problems that you had when your hair was previously relaxed. I know there are a lot of women on this forum who have successfully grown both natural and relaxed hair long and create beautiful styles with their hair that we all can definitely learn from. And if you ever need a support buddy (especially if you decide to relax) or even if you just want to chat about good hair products or something, feel free to PM me .

 

[Mandy4610]

Whatever decision you make, just make sure it's really what you want. If you want to remain natural then you could try and learn some new styles and different ways of wearing your natural hair. Also, if you want to relax make sure that you're willing to devote time to DC'ing and keeping your hair very healthy and moisturized so you don't experience the same problems that you had when your hair was previously relaxed. I know there are a lot of women on this forum who have successfully grown both natural and relaxed hair long and create beautiful styles with their hair that we all can definitely learn from. And if you ever need a support buddy (especially if you decide to relax) or even if you just want to chat about good hair products or something, feel free to PM me .

Thank you so much girl! I appreciate that:blowkiss: