I THINK I WILL RELAX.....:(

[Mandy4610]

I am just not sure what to do with my hair. I am absolutely bored with it and I am not excited about doing anything with it. I keep thinking maybe I should wait it out and see how I feel after it becomes longer, but I just can't seem to make up my mind about whether I should stay natural or relax. My TWA is super thick right now and it is at that stage that it does not exactly look cute, but it does not look bad either ...You know what I mean. I kind of look like a little kid with boyish hair. My problem is that I don't really know if relaxing is the answer.erplexed
When I was relaxed the hair in the back of my head was breaking and was not as health or as long as the rest of my hair, but I enjoyed taking care of it and I got a lot of compliments on it. Now I don't get any of that.
I am thinking maybe I should texlax and see what happens. I don't know. Has anyone gone through this before?

 

[shocol]

I am... I've decided to wait it out. And give myself a treat next week by flat-ironing.

ETA... Your TWA in your siggy looks very cute. Mine just looks crazy and out of control.

 

[straightlovely]

I've never been there...but maybe you could get braids or kinky twists for a style change?

 

[Spongie Bloom]

I've never been there...but maybe you could get braids or kinky twists for a style change?

I was going to suggest this, braid it up and see how you feel in a month or two

 

[SmartyPants]

You have to ask yourself why you went natural in the first place. When I did the TWA thing it was because my relaxed hair was breaking. My going natural was an act of desperation because things were not working out with my preferred relaxed style. Then I found this board and learned how to take care of my own (relaxed) hair. I even put in my own relaxers now. My (relaxed) hair has never been this thick nor grown this fast ever.

If you went natural because it's something you really wanted, then try braiding or some of the other suggestions and see if you still feel like relaxing in a couple of months. If you were like me and went natural out of frustration, I think it's OK to go ahead and relax now--just use the knowlege on this board to help you retain your healthy relaxed hair.

 

[Irresistible]

are you kidding , there are threads and threads of hair frustration

The best advice is wait it out to make sure its really what you want

 

[MzOptimistic]

I agree with the others. I think you should wait it out before you make any decisions you'll regret

 

[Mandy4610]

I am... I've decided to wait it out. And give myself a treat next week by flat-ironing.

ETA... Your TWA in your siggy looks very cute. Mine just looks crazy and out of control.

Thank girl...Sometimes it looks good, other times its just plain boring

I've never been there...but maybe you could get braids or kinky twists for a style change?

Thanks for the suggestion. I can't do braids or anything with fake hair. I don't like it on me and DH hates it even more. I love it on other people though

I was going to suggest this, braid it up and see how you feel in a month or two

Thanks for the suggestion.

You have to ask yourself why you went natural in the first place. When I did the TWA thing it was because my relaxed hair was breaking. My going natural was an act of desperation because things were not working out with my preferred relaxed style. Then I found this board and learned how to take care of my own (relaxed) hair. I even put in my own relaxers now. My (relaxed) hair has never been this thick nor grown this fast ever.

If you went natural because it's something you really wanted, then try braiding or some of the other suggestions and see if you still feel like relaxing in a couple of months. If you were like me and went natural out of frustration, I think it's OK to go ahead and relax now--just use the knowlege on this board to help you retain your healthy relaxed hair.

I went natural for all sorts of reasons...frustration was definitely one of them because the hair in the back of my head was breaking and I could not revive it for the life of me. I also went natural because I was inspired by all the naturals on this and other boards. When I was in high school I had natural hair and it was very healthy, not that long, but healthy and it looked relaxed when I rollerset it. Back then I did not know much about hair, heck I used to wash my hair with dish soap and I applied Vaseline to it...so I thought since my hair did well then, even without all the care, it should do well this time around too. That was also part of the reason for going natural. I think I am bored because of the length too, I can't do anything with this length.
Ugggggggggggghhhhhhhhh, I don't know what to do

 

[Mandy4610]

are you kidding , there are threads and threads of hair frustration

The best advice is wait it out to make sure its really what you want

I know, I know...I am just really frustrated and bored.

 

[Mortons]

I think a weave or individual braids would do you some good around this time.

ETA: Dont relax yet.

 

[Irresistible]

Thank girl...Sometimes it looks good, other times its just plain boring


Thanks for the suggestion. I can't do braids or anything with fake hair. I don't like it on me and DH hates it even more. I love it on other people though


Thanks for the suggestion.


I went natural for all sorts of reasons...frustration was definitely one of them because the hair in the back of my head was breaking and I could not revive it for the life of me. I also went natural because I was inspired by all the naturals on this and other boards. When I was in high school I had natural hair and it was very healthy, not that long, but healthy and it looked relaxed when I rollerset it. Back then I did not know much about hair, heck I used to wash my hair with dish soap and I applied Vaseline to it...so I thought since my hair did well then, even without all the care, it should do well this time around too. That was also part of the reason for going natural. I think I am bored because of the length too, I can't do anything with this length.
Ugggggggggggghhhhhhhhh, I don't know what to do

whatever your hair did while it was relaxed before and nothing helped it, is probably going to happen again

that was my story, thats why I am now a 14-15 year natural through all the frustrations through the years, going back to breakage was just not an option anymore

 

[Tarae]

I don't think relaxing is the answer. I'm relaxed and I'm currently bored with my hair also. I think it's just a phase most of us go through at some point in out hair journeys.

I think you should wait it out. I'd hate for you to relax out of frustration and then hate it

 

[lilsparkle825]

I've never been there...but maybe you could get braids or kinky twists for a style change?

this is what i did. i started a new hair project and made a big deal out of it; i searched for the perfect color hair, the perfect brand, watched all the tutorial videos, and everything, then took about 3 days to put them in. bought me time to not have to deal with my hair.

 

[Mandy4610]

I don't think relaxing is the answer. I'm relaxed and I'm currently bored with my hair also. I think it's just a phase most of us go through at some point in out hair journeys.

I think you should wait it out. I'd hate for you to relax out of frustration and then hate it

Thanks...that is my fear...That I would hate it after relaxing and then I would have to cut again. I am not very patient with my hair especially when it come to cutting, I can cut on a whim. I don't wanna do that again.

 

[Mandy4610]

whatever your hair did while it was relaxed before and nothing helped it, is probably going to happen again

that was my story, thats why I am now a 14-15 year natural through all the frustrations through the years, going back to breakage was just not an option anymore

Yeah, it probably would happen again, thats why I though maybe if I texlax rather than bonelax. I don't know.

 

[Irresistible]

Yeah, it probably would happen again, thats why I though maybe if I texlax rather than bonelax. I don't know.

Just give yourself time to think this one out. You will find the right answer for you, even if you do texlax and it doesnt work out you can always go back to natural. When I first went natural I relaxed again thinking i could do something different, had breakage again, it was hard to start all over again, but I survived it

 

[LadyEuphoria007]

this is what i did. i started a new hair project and made a big deal out of it; i searched for the perfect color hair, the perfect brand, watched all the tutorial videos, and everything, then took about 3 days to put them in. bought me time to not have to deal with my hair.

OOOH this is a good idea. :scratchch

I felt like this recently so I just did some kinky twist...I miss my baby fro...it's only been 6 days lol.

 

[Mandy4610]

Just give yourself time to think this one out. You will find the right answer for you, even if you do texlax and it doesnt work out you can always go back to natural. When I first went natural I relaxed again thinking i could do something different, had breakage again, it was hard to start all over again, but I survived it

and your hair is beautiful......

 

[prettykinks]

I think you should wait it out. When I had a TWA I would play around with different colored and pattered scarves and clips. I would wear my big hoop earrings or different dangle earrings to spice up my look plus on those boring days a little eyeshadow or eyeliner and some lip gloss or lipstick will set off the look. To finish it off you have to have confidence that you look good. I knew I did and I didn't need anyone to tell me so but I still received lots of compliments because I was smiling and grinning all the time. Love your hair and yourself and you will be able to think of new ideas to make your hair beautiful. Next thing you know it will be long.
HTH

 

[SignatureBeauty]

No Mandy!!!!!!!! your hair is growing beautifully and I have been watching you, we are in this together, give it time,go buy some nice scarves, headbands, new earrings, lipstick etc. I know that wearing a Twa for so long is very boring and that is what sent me back to relaxing last time, then I didn't want it and chopped it off, I was bored relaxed to and plus My crown starts to break off.

Try to save to go get braids or something, I usually love a wash n go style, you can do it, Mine has finally start to grow from the bald stage, so we can grow through this together, I have been where you have been so I understand, You gotta be strong to wear a Twa, a Twa is not for everyone. But you look good with it and we will make it through this together. once you get over this hump, it will be my turn to vent to you LOL!!!!

 

[Irresistible]

and your hair is beautiful......

Thank you sweetie and so is yours even if you are frustrated with it right now

 

[IntelligenceisBeautiful]

girl get some kinky or senegalese twists they are so in right now, at least it will give you some time to tjhink. I felt this same exact way not too long ago, and I'm glad I gave myself time before relaxing. I would have sooooooo regretted it.

 

[Mandy4610]

girl get some kinky or senegalese twists they are so in right now, at least it will give you some time to tjhink. I felt this same exact way not too long ago, and I'm glad I gave myself time before relaxing. I would have sooooooo regretted it.

Girl I wish I could get braids or something, but I absolutely do not like fake hair on me, I like it on other people though. I don't think that I can find someone that can do it for anyway, there are no stylists around here.

 

[Mandy4610]

No Mandy!!!!!!!! your hair is growing beautifully and I have been watching you, we are in this together, give it time,go buy some nice scarves, headbands, new earrings, lipstick etc. I know that wearing a Twa for so long is very boring and that is what sent me back to relaxing last time, then I didn't want it and chopped it off, I was bored relaxed to and plus My crown starts to break off.

Try to save to go get braids or something, I usually love a wash n go style, you can do it, Mine has finally start to grow from the bald stage, so we can grow through this together, I have been where you have been so I understand, You gotta be strong to wear a Twa, a Twa is not for everyone. But you look good with it and we will make it through this together. once you get over this hump, it will be my turn to vent to you LOL!!!!

Ho thank you girl. This TWA is just driving me crazy. It needs to grow already. I think maybe length is what I need more than anything, because then I can do all sorts of things with it. I will wait and see.

 

[SignatureBeauty]

Ho thank you girl. This TWA is just driving me crazy. It needs to grow already. I think maybe length is what I need more than anything, because then I can do all sorts of things with it. I will wait and see.

You are welcome! I know for me too it was more of a length thing, never my texture, I became so frustrated and mad, but in the end it was regret, I don't care for briads either, but wigs are okay, do you like wigs? maybe you can cornrow the front and put a half wig on. But I understand, just let it pass, look at other online albums and others natural hair and just give it time!!!!! don't texlax either, give your hair time to grow out,my texture changes when it grows out, and make sure you take pics every so often!!! We here for you girl!!!

 

[Aggie]

No way Mandy, you can't relax now. I really feel that you are just frustrated with the limited style options right now and that can be easily remedied with some braids or cornrows or something like that. Try that first for a while then re-evaluate the situation again in a few months or so. But don't relax if you know in your heart that's not what you really want to do, okay honey?

 

[Mandy4610]

No way Mandy, you can't relax now. I really feel that you are just frustrated with the limited style options right now and that can be easily remedied with some braids or cornrows or something like that. Try that first for a while then re-evaluate the situation again in a few months or so. But don't relax if you know in your heart that's not what you really want to do, okay honey?

Thanks Aggie, I appreciate your support. I know that the limited styles is one of my frustrations. I have run out of things to do with my hair and I am bored. I have to figure out what else I can do. I am not 100% comfortable with relaxing because I have this feeling that the issues I had when I was relaxed will come back, I think thats only thing stopping me right now, that and the fact that I am broke and can not afford to get a relaxer.
My other problem is that I can not find anyone who can do cornrows with out fake hair, I am not into fake hair on my head.
Thank you for your support Aggie. You know I always appreciate it!!!

 

[GeauXavi]

I agree on the hair frustration...wait it out...also if you relax, you may STILL be frustrated if your hair legnth isn't what you want...and may have to grow out a style that you don't like...It took me a long time to grow out my "mushroom" when i went back to relaxers after being natural...now they are in style....whatever...seriously lol

 

[BobbieDoll]

I am feeling the same way but I think it's harder for me because I can't wear scarfs and headbands while I am in uniform in order to try something different. I got micro braids today after having kinky twist and I don't like them at all. I think I am going to get more kinky twist after I take my micros out in a few days. I'm seriously thinking about relaxing though. Hopefully we can both hang in there.

 

[Nice & Wavy]

I am just not sure what to do with my hair. I am absolutely bored with it and I am not excited about doing anything with it. I keep thinking maybe I should wait it out and see how I feel after it becomes longer, but I just can't seems to make up my mind about to sat natural or to relax. My TWA is super thick right now and it is at that stage that it does not exactly look cute, but it does not look bad either ...You know what I mean. I kind of look like a little kid with boyish hair. My problem is that I don't really know if relaxing is the answer.erplexed
When I was relaxed the hair in the back of my head was breaking and was not as health or as long as the rest of my hair, but I enjoyed taking care of it and I got a lot of compliments on it. Now I don't get any of that.
I am thinking maybe I should texlax and see what happens. I don't know. Has anyone gone through this before?

Yes, yes, and yes...I have gone through this before and still do sometimes. You do have to do what you feel is best for you. You have so much information now for both natural and relaxed hair, that you can do either one and still have healthy hair.

All the best to you in whatever decision you make!

Blessings!