I THINK I AM GOING TO GIVE UP......

[bgyrl]

Maybe I just wasn't meant to have long hair. That's why I haven't been on this site for a while because I am doing all this work and I see no progress. I have been doing my hair great justice by doing the best I can to have healthy long hair. Since March 2007 I did protective styles, wash at least 2-3 times a week, deep condition once a week, mositurize twice a day, use mtg......

Even when I am in my braids I think have all this new growth and I get so excited but when I take my hair down it's still the same length. I take that back my hair on the right side in the back has grown a little and now my hair is all uneven so even if i do keep trying to grow my hair I will have to keep cutting it cus the ride side grows longer than the rest of my head.

Someone please help me and give me some advice. I get so frustrated when I see everyone on here with long hair or I see people growing like two inches a month. I am a natural 4a so I am wondering is it because I don't have a perm because every person I see on here with a perm has beautiful long hair.

 

[freshlikemoi]

Lady! I am right with you. Can I just say that i had a sewn-in for about 6 weeks, had madd new growth and when I took out my hair is was nothing. I couldn't believe it. My 2 year hair-nniversary is in May, I don't even have a full even head of hair yet. Yet I see newbies coming on and are BSL in like weeks (ok I'm a bit dramatic, but hear a sista out). I gave myself a false goal: APL by Christmas, now that for sure aint gonna happen. So have you been giving yourself false expectations?

Although, I feel this way, and I too would like to give up, the obvious thing to do is to not give-up. It just doesnt make sense. So what happens, you start using heat all the time, wearing quick weaves and then when ya hair is broken off you think of "what could have been?" You don't want to have to go through that...So my words to you are "chin up champ" long hair is around the corner.

 

[*Muffin*]

It'll be okay! It's because your hair is natural that it seems like it's taking a long time to grow. Even though I'm happily relaxed and have very healthy hair, I admire those with natural hair. If you love your natural hair, then DON'T get a relaxer. But if you don't like your natural hair, then it's okay to relax, or even texlax. It's just going to take time to notice the growth if you have natural hair. There are many naturals on this site that have beautiful, long hair. Don't give up on your hair care goals! You'll get there! Do you trim your hair a lot?

 

[bgyrl]

Thanx for the support guys!!!! I really appreciate it. Man I just feel like breaking down and crying because you put so much into and you get nothing in return. I was even thinking about texlaxing but I am scared because when I was younger I had long hair and my aunt put a perm in it and it all fell out. And I am sick of wearing the twists and fros its too much up keep. I just want to get up and go in the mornings. And with braids with all the washing and deep conditioning I do my braids look like I had them in for 4 months when they only been in for 2 weeks. Man, something has to give.

 

[ShiShiPooPoo]

Girl, I AM relaxed and it just seems like my hair used to grow so fast but now... I don't know if it is because I am getting older or what. I am getting it relaxed tomorrow so we'll see. I was having thoughts of just getting it cut again real short because I know it'll be cute and I won't have any expectations except to just live life and be cute. Well, you know what I mean...I am frustrated too.

Hang in there! We'll hang in there together!

 

[locabouthair]

Hi, please don't give up. I know how you feel, when i was natural, I felt my hair was too much maintenance, not syaing you should relax, but just that I know how you feel.

You say your hair hasn't grown but have you straightened it? If your hair is really coily, it may be hard to see the length. How long have you been on your journey? and how is your diet? Do you get enough sleep? Do you exercise?

 

[Leslie_C]

Thanx for the support guys!!!! I really appreciate it. Man I just feel like breaking down and crying because you put so much into and you get nothing in return. I was even thinking about texlaxing but I am scared because when I was younger I had long hair and my aunt put a perm in it and it all fell out. And I am sick of wearing the twists and fros its too much up keep. I just want to get up and go in the mornings. And with braids with all the washing and deep conditioning I do my braids look like I had them in for 4 months when they only been in for 2 weeks. Man, something has to give.

If it makes you feel any better, back in february I texlaxed after being natural for a year. When I was natural It seemed like my hair hadnt grown at all...but I was pleasantly suprised when I texlaxed that I had a decent amount of hair and Ive made a lot of progress since then that is easy to see and measure since it will finally hang down and its growing down instead of out which is what I wanted. Im not telling you to texlax or relax, thats a personal decision, but just keep in mind progress may seeeem slower when natural just bc the true length doesnt show. I couldnt do anything with my natural hair bc I cant do twists/braids(dont know how) and its too humid in FL to hold a press....Im happy with my decision. Dont give up....is your hair at least healthier if not longer?

 

[*Muffin*]

Thanx for the support guys!!!! I really appreciate it. Man I just feel like breaking down and crying because you put so much into and you get nothing in return. I was even thinking about texlaxing but I am scared because when I was younger I had long hair and my aunt put a perm in it and it all fell out. And I am sick of wearing the twists and fros its too much up keep. I just want to get up and go in the mornings. And with braids with all the washing and deep conditioning I do my braids look like I had them in for 4 months when they only been in for 2 weeks. Man, something has to give.

I know. I get really emotional over my hair too. We put so much effort into making our hair be the best it can possibly be, and when we think it doesn't pay off, it gets to us. Just hang in there! I'm sorry about your bad relaxer experience. The only bad thing I've had happen to me is that some accidently got on my face and burned it (it didn't leave a scar though). For me, relaxed hair is very easy to manage and deal with. But I also believe that natural hair is, too. If you aren't satisfied with your hair, you can always change it. If you want to texlax your hair, you can mix the base with a couple of Tablespoons of oil to make it more mild. Also don't leave it in for a long time. You may only have to leave it in for 5 minutes to loosen your texture a bit. It's all up to you. I don't want to make it seem like I'm advertising chemical processes ('cause I'm not). I just want you to be happy with your hair and reach your goals .

 

[Harana]

Thanx for the support guys!!!! I really appreciate it. Man I just feel like breaking down and crying because you put so much into and you get nothing in return. I was even thinking about texlaxing but I am scared because when I was younger I had long hair and my aunt put a perm in it and it all fell out. And I am sick of wearing the twists and fros its too much up keep. I just want to get up and go in the mornings. And with braids with all the washing and deep conditioning I do my braids look like I had them in for 4 months when they only been in for 2 weeks. Man, something has to give.

Aww I feel you chica! But hang in there! Have you thought about washing your hair less? For me personally, my hair breaks if I wash it more than once a week. I usually wash every ten days or so. Many naturals wash their hair less and still experience growth. If I want to clean my scalp in between protective styles like twists and braids, I use a scalp cleanser (while still mositurizing everyday with either spritz or cream). Twist/braid updos and twist/braid buns are nice get up and go protective styles and are different from the usual braids/twists hanging around your face looking fuzzy. If you aren't seeing growth, try tweaking your regimen again. It is a little work to figure out what works, but well worth the effort! You can do it!

 

[STLCoverGirl]

Don't give up...I was at apl(maybe longer) in 2004 and just made waistlength in 2007. I got a trim and am trying to get back..it's not always a quick process. For me, I can't obsess over length, I find that if I just do the basics and leave my hair alone, it will grow. It probably won't be at record speed like some of the women on this board but you'll get there...eventually.

 

[BeautifulFlower]

NO NO NO! Please dont be discouraged.

First Step....

Whats are regimen?
Whats your hair type?
Relaxed, Natural, Texturize?
When do you relax?
How often do you use heat?

 

[bgyrl]

Hi, please don't give up. I know how you feel, when i was natural, I felt my hair was too much maintenance, not syaing you should relax, but just that I know how you feel.

You say your hair hasn't grown but have you straightened it? If your hair is really coily, it may be hard to see the length. How long have you been on your journey? and how is your diet? Do you get enough sleep? Do you exercise?

I have been on my journey since March and I get about eight hours of sleep each day. I don't eat fast food at all I eat nothing but organic foods if its not organic I check the labels to see if the ingredients are ok. I have been the healthiest I have even been in my life since I read that book "Natural Cures they don't Want you to know about" by Kevin Tredau. I just stopped excercising because I don't have enought time after work.

My hair is 4a and I only wash 2-3 times a week while im in braids. I wash once a week when my hair is out. I want to press my hair because I get headaches from wearing those bands and at my job I get alot of crazy stares and comments from my clients about my natural hair. But I know if I start pressing it my hair really isnt going to grow.

Well im glad there are people out there who understand what I am going through.

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Girl, everyday I think about giving up. But then again I really haven't done the work so I am going to start doing the work and see what happens.

Sometimes you have to try new things and also, don't believe everything you read on this board. Not to hate but sometimes people "talk" about how much "progress" they have and who knows if it's true or not.

So fear not, there are plenty of people here that feel your pain, they just ain't posting. It can be pretty hard when people state they are "stuck" at SL.

For some, just getting to SL would be a dream, so sometimes I think that people forget that here on this board. We are ALL striving for long hair, and some of us are no where near SL or BSL but that doesn't mean that for us, we can't support the ones that feel left behind.

 

[locabouthair]

Don't give up...I was at apl(maybe longer) in 2004 and just made waistlength in 2007. I got a trim and am trying to get back..it's not always a quick process. For me, I can't obsess over length, I find that if I just do the basics and leave my hair alone, it will grow. It probably won't be at record speed like some of the women on this board but you'll get there...eventually.

Yes, a watched pot does not boil. When I think of all the times my hair grew it was when I wasn't in such a hurry to get length, I was letting it do what it do and it grew. Remember if you keep focusing on it not growing, you going to continue getting that.

I know it's hard I have been there and have still been going through but try to hang in there maybe you need to take a break from the board, to get your mind off of it.

 

[Aggie]

Don't give up Bgrl. If anything, take a week off, no take 2 off then get right back in there.

I agree with locabouthair, about the importance of getting enough sleep and exercise. What I would like to add is also the importance of the amount of your vitamins, protein and water intake. Consume about 1 gram of protein per pound of your body weight and drink at least 8 - 8oz glasses of water per day (more would be great).

If there is any stress in your life, try your best to reduce or remove it as much as possible. Many times, an entire day of fasting works for me, it pushes out poisonous toxins out of my body and allow my body to naturally heal and bounce back. The Master Cleanse is great at this although it's a longer fast than a day. But it works.

Go for a swim, a jog, clear your head a little, take a little time out for you, and you'll be amazed at how these little things can help your human machine respond to what your mind is telling it to do. Your hair is not the boss of you, you are.

We are your friends and we are all here to support you with your efforts no matter what. Lean on us, we'll carry you for a while.

 

[mzcris]

Maybe I just wasn't meant to have long hair. That's why I haven't been on this site for a while because I am doing all this work and I see no progress. I have been doing my hair great justice by doing the best I can to have healthy long hair. Since March 2007 I did protective styles, wash at least 2-3 times a week, deep condition once a week, mositurize twice a day, use mtg......

Even when I am in my braids I think have all this new growth and I get so excited but when I take my hair down it's still the same length. I take that back my hair on the right side in the back has grown a little and now my hair is all uneven so even if i do keep trying to grow my hair I will have to keep cutting it cus the ride side grows longer than the rest of my head.

Someone please help me and give me some advice. I get so frustrated when I see everyone on here with long hair or I see people growing like two inches a month. I am a natural 4a so I am wondering is it because I don't have a perm because every person I see on here with a perm has beautiful long hair.

Never Ever Give Up...you seem to have a good hair regiment...what you are lacking is patience...growth will come!

 

[Wildchild453]

Maybe I just wasn't meant to have long hair. That's why I haven't been on this site for a while because I am doing all this work and I see no progress. I have been doing my hair great justice by doing the best I can to have healthy long hair. Since March 2007 I did protective styles, wash at least 2-3 times a week, deep condition once a week, mositurize twice a day, use mtg......

Even when I am in my braids I think have all this new growth and I get so excited but when I take my hair down it's still the same length. I take that back my hair on the right side in the back has grown a little and now my hair is all uneven so even if i do keep trying to grow my hair I will have to keep cutting it cus the ride side grows longer than the rest of my head.

Someone please help me and give me some advice. I get so frustrated when I see everyone on here with long hair or I see people growing like two inches a month. I am a natural 4a so I am wondering is it because I don't have a perm because every person I see on here with a perm has beautiful long hair.

how do you check your length? do u check by stretchin it?

 

[bgyrl]

Yes I do check my lenght by stretching it

 

[ChocalateDiva]

Aww I feel you ma! But hang in there!

 

[Ebony Majesty]

don't give up hun! we all reach a hurdle that takes a while to get over, but you'll get there eventually.

I feel like my hair isn't getting any longer either, but we must keep trying!

Maybe tweak a couple things in your regime

 

[Saida]

I hope you wont give up, your such a beautifull girl, I just looked through your fotki, saving it to my favourites

 

[Mimi22]

Oh dont give up!
My hair always seems short when its natural, but once pressed, I see a great deal of progress. I get a professisonal press once a month, or once every two months. Streching doesnt give a solid view of things (IMO) and perhaps you should get a professional press to see how things are? There are a lot of ladies here who press and still maintain great length & growth. Hope that helps
x

 

[cecilie]

Pease don't give up , I understand you but be sure that finally you will see the results of you work . Everyone's hair has his own rythm of growth ...
Good luck .
Cecilie .

 

[EMJazzy]

Just be consistent and patient and you WILL reach your goals.

 

[Wildchild453]

Yes I do check my lenght by stretching it

that can be part of the problem b/c your hair strands don't fully straighten by pullin on it. So all the hair length may not be shown

 

[Hair Iam]

Girl, everyday I think about giving up. But then again I really haven't done the work so I am going to start doing the work and see what happens.

Sometimes you have to try new things and also, don't believe everything you read on this board. Not to hate but sometimes people "talk" about how much "progress" they have and who knows if it's true or not.

So fear not, there are plenty of people here that feel your pain, they just ain't posting. It can be pretty hard when people state they are "stuck" at SL.

For some, just getting to SL would be a dream, so sometimes I think that people forget that here on this board. We are ALL striving for long hair, and some of us are no where near SL or BSL but that doesn't mean that for us, we can't support the ones that feel left behind.

So true ...so many people forget where they came from ...good point

 

[AvaSpeaks]

Also too but sometimes the products that we are using on our hair can hamper or thrive our progress.

Like there are so many products on here for protein and moisture; Aubrey, Aphogee, LeKair, ORS, geez louise! It's enough to make your eyes spin on your head

So maybe look at what you are using. I know why my hair isn't getting longer, because I don't do the work to retain it That's on me huh? But my hair grows like weeds, so if I start taking care of it, then maybe I can be CL by January.

 

[Cheleigh]

Patience and consistency is key!

My hair grows slowly. I cannot compare its growth rate to how other people's growth rate may or may not be. I can admire how quickly others grow, but my hair is unique to me.

Like you, I am a "type 4" and my hair has grown just fine in the past 20 months--not 2" a month, not even 1" a month, but grown. I started about neck length in March 06, and now it's armpit in December 07, which is probably less than average, or about average. I think it's important to document your journey so that you can see growth over the long haul, even if you don't see it day to day (which wouldn't be the case anyway).

My hair grows at the same rate whether it's relaxed or natural, and I'm sure yours does too. Retaining the length is where the work comes in.

Your hair is very pretty, BTW. Good luck.

 

[glamazon386]

Maybe I just wasn't meant to have long hair. That's why I haven't been on this site for a while because I am doing all this work and I see no progress. I have been doing my hair great justice by doing the best I can to have healthy long hair. Since March 2007 I did protective styles, wash at least 2-3 times a week, deep condition once a week, mositurize twice a day, use mtg......

Even when I am in my braids I think have all this new growth and I get so excited but when I take my hair down it's still the same length. I take that back my hair on the right side in the back has grown a little and now my hair is all uneven so even if i do keep trying to grow my hair I will have to keep cutting it cus the ride side grows longer than the rest of my head.

Someone please help me and give me some advice. I get so frustrated when I see everyone on here with long hair or I see people growing like two inches a month. I am a natural 4a so I am wondering is it because I don't have a perm because every person I see on here with a perm has beautiful long hair.

Your hair might be breaking off on the ends faster than it is growing. Your hair is growing but you may not be retaining length. I had that problem when I was relaxed. My hair started looking better because i was taking better care of it. But those ends were jacked. I probably should have gotten a good trim first before I started anything else. You said it's uneven right? That might be why. Braids can be murder on the ends especially if your hair was already damaged. I suggest you get a trim and start from there.

Also, since you're natural what are your styling habits? The way you care for your hair could be wreaking havoc on your strands. I noticed that I had to stop combing. I learned that the hard way when I had to get a trim last week. Too much manipulation (me playing with it and blowdrying and every thing else since I've been bored lately) made my ends look fried. I had just had a trim in September. There was no reason for me to need one this soon.

 

[chicacanella]

Well, sometimes if you just stress over it growing it will seem like it isn't growing. I can attest to that myself.

So, maybe just co-wash once a week, deep condition once and moisturize every other day.

Just think how bad of a condition your hair would be if you didn't do anything? To think of your regimin, yet you say there isn't much progress, well, that is definitely better than doing nothing.