I really wished she would just shut up!

[dannie]

O.K, so I get my touch up today by a new stylist, which by the way came out underprocessed because, she didn't base my scalp right and it started to burn. The stylist proceeds to b*%#h at me for the entire time shes doing my hair about how much thicker, and healthier it would be if I didn't relax. That it looked like I permed it for 10 years, that it was long but it looks dead, it was all gonna fall out, etc, etc....She didn't have not one nice thing to say about my hair. And honestly, it's not thin at all. Well, no thinner than the next girls hair. Granted, I know I have breakage at the roots on one side of my hair due to a bad perm in October. So much of my hair came out in October I was crying and thought I was going bald, and I'm not one to cry over hair. But it looks fine now, just thinner on that side. Anyway, I'm thinkin, "hello, do you see how long my hair is, obviously I take care of my perm, its not dry and breaking off at the ends". But she just keeps yapping and yapping. She did have valid points though. Yes, the lye perm does change the color of your hair, but so does the sun. Yes, my hair would be thicker if I didn't perm it, but constant heat breaks your hair down and makes it look thinner too. By the time she was finished I just wanted to cry because it seems like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I see you ladies who have gorgeous healthy relaxed hair, so I know it's possible. But I know if I keep letting other people perm it, she's right, it is all gonna fall out, because most stylist don't know what the they're doing.

Not to babble on, so I'll get to the point. Should I just start relaxing my own hair? Is it bad to perm your hair in the long run? Should I consider a texturizer?

Thanks for reading this ladies, I appreciate any feed back ya'll can give me.

 

[TrustMeLove]

Do what makes you happy. Personally I wouldn't give anybody my $90 to talk down about my hair goals if you aren't with me chic then your against me and its time to find a new stylist. Espcially if she isn't capable at doing her job correctly.

Yes there are positives and negatives to do anything to change the state of your hair, including using heat, relaxing, and texturing. In addition that going to stylist so she can do your hair and not learning how to do it yourself is also not good for your hair.

So if she really wants you to take care of your hair better tell her you will no longer need her services because having a dependency on her for your hair care needs isn't a good idea either. Because what happens on a sunday when the shop is closed and your going through a hair care emergency is she going to run to the shop and open it up for you NO. So with her advice you've decided to stop seeing her. I KNOW THAT WOULD SHUT HER UP.

Even, when I come in with my hair jacked my stylist is still positive and just suggesting ways for me to take better care of my hair towards the end of my 10 week post relaxer.

Switch it up, theres no use in paying somebody to give you a bad day.

-fAYE

 

[gabrielle2]

while i agree with the above poster about paying someone to talk down to me and my hair...i do wish i had a stylist who had told me about what relaxing was doing to my hair..instead of come back...or we will cut it and see what happens..etc. if i had that advice...i would have LONG gone natural. BUT STILL...there is a way to speak to people and relay messages....her intentions may have been good...but it was lost in the negative delivery.

 

[dannie]

Well, I do think she is a good stylist because she actually cared enough to try to get me away from perms. I was just angry because she was talking about my hair like its crap on a stick and I know my hair looks better than a lot of her clients I saw waiting.

Besides, everything she said about perms I already knew. I think it's a personal preference. I perfer to perm my hair and I shouldn't have to hear anybody's crap about it. And I know for a fact that the broken pieces were caused by another stylist mistakes months back. She got me wondering if I shold just take matters into my own hands to get the results I want. Since I don't like my hair too straight I was wondering if I should just texturize since I never wear it out anyway?

 

[lsubabiedee]

you could just tell her that u pay her for hair services not mouth!
I think her intentions were good.
Have a talk with her first. If she keeps it up, then part ways!

 

[Poohbear]

Ever since I was young, my mom has been the only one to put a relaxer in my hair. So that's the only person I have let relax my hair. I haven't relaxed my hair before but I know Im gonna have to start learning because I see how a lot of you have problems with stylist doing your relaxers. I would trust my mom or myself over someone who knows nothing about my hair.

 

[Jade21]

I was really hesitant to reply to your post only because it almost seems like you've already made up your mind.

I agree with the person who said that the stylist's intentions were good, but maybe her delivery was a bit harsh. Something tells me maybe she just wanted to get you to think about the whole situation. In one breath she's criticizing, but at the same time, she was applying a relaxer to your hair which she believed to be damaged. That's not so hot in itself.

Maybe at this point what you should consider is whether maybe you might want to simply take a break from relaxing. It just sounds like you have not had the best person doing the relaxer application and that's where you've run into trouble. I think your goal in the long run if you want to relax your hair is either to find a superior stylist who can do it well or learn yourself.

When my hair was relaxed, I was always grateful that I had the stylist I did because she cared about my hair. That makes a tremendous difference.

~Jade~

 

[Nyambura]

[ QUOTE ]
dannie_19 said:
O.K, so I get my touch up today by a new stylist, which by the way came out underprocessed because, she didn't base my scalp right and it started to burn. <font color="brown"> The stylist proceeds to b*%#h at me for the entire time</font> shes doing my hair about how much thicker, and healthier it would be if I didn't relax. That it looked like I permed it for 10 years, <font color="brown">that it was long but it looks dead, it was all gonna fall out, etc, etc....She didn't have not one nice thing to say about my hair. </font> And honestly, it's not thin at all. Well, no thinner than the next girls hair. Granted, I know I have breakage at the roots on one side of my hair due to a bad perm in October. So much of my hair came out in October I was crying and thought I was going bald, and I'm not one to cry over hair. But it looks fine now, just thinner on that side. Anyway, I'm thinkin, "hello, do you see how long my hair is, obviously I take care of my perm, its not dry and breaking off at the ends". But she just keeps yapping and yapping. She did have valid points though. Yes, the lye perm does change the color of your hair, but so does the sun. Yes, my hair would be thicker if I didn't perm it, but constant heat breaks your hair down and makes it look thinner too. <font color="brown">By the time she was finished I just wanted to cry </font> because it seems like I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't. I see you ladies who have gorgeous healthy relaxed hair, so I know it's possible. But I know if I keep letting other people perm it, she's right, it is all gonna fall out, because most stylist don't know what the they're doing.

Not to babble on, so I'll get to the point. Should I just start relaxing my own hair? Is it bad to perm your hair in the long run? Should I consider a texturizer?

Thanks for reading this ladies, I appreciate any feed back ya'll can give me.

[/ QUOTE ]


((((hug))))) I've been there before too, with the smack-talking stylist who is so toxic that at the end of the experience, you feel as if you've lost a pound plasma.

I highlighted the above portions of your post to show that the problem is hers, not yours. Her behavior was unprofessional. That's all there is to it. What kind of professional provides a service that has her client feeling *worse* than before she started? More importantly, what is the point of ripping your regimen to shreds if she isn't going to offer you solutions? It's unprofessional and counter-productive. You haven't failed sweetie, she has.

Don't waste another minute of your valuable life trying to figure out whether something you did (or didn't do) caused that stream of abuse. I see you're in Southern California. There are women here who live in that region who may be able to help you out. I know Adrienne0914 does, and she has nothing but wonderful things to say about her stylist.

Good luck and don't let the turkeys get you down.

 

[dannie]

Thank you guys so much!!! I feel alot better now and I'm never going to her again. I try so hard to take care of my hair and I was just a bit hurt when she sat there ripping me to shreds. I know it's my fault since I know that I just need to either break down and do my own relaxers or go natural. I also think I will look into texturizing here on the board. I am so stuipd for letting people jack up my hair for this long. I let her FLATIRON my hair after a touch-up. How stuipd am I? OK course it looks thinner, you are never supposed to flat iron pressed hair, and I know this already. I told her, "your only supposed to rollerset permed hair" and she said "rollersets are for people who just trying to hide their breakage." WTF?

 

[myco]

[ QUOTE ]
dannie_19 said:
I told her, "your only supposed to rollerset permed hair" and she said "rollersets are for people who just trying to hide their breakage." WTF?

[/ QUOTE ]

"Ignant" people make me sick. She sounds lazy on top of being cranky. Like everyone else said, she might not be the stylist for you. Paying for a service entitles you to a certain level of professional decorum - obviously she doesn't have it.

 

[patience]

Although her delivery needed a LOT of work, she was telling you the truth. Your hair would be healthier if it were natural. She could have found a better way to tell you though. Like Gabriell2, I too WISH someone would have been that blunt with me a LONG time ago. I would have been natural a long time ago.

Either way, in short, you know the truth. It would be in your best interest to learn to do your own hair regardless of how you choose to wear it. It's yours, you are ultimately responsible for it, not the stylist. Get to know your hair. With all of the resources available today, there is NO reason what so ever for you to not know how to care for your own hair.

I wish you the best.

 

[blue_flower]

[ QUOTE ]
Jade21 said:
I was really hesitant to reply to your post only because it almost seems like you've already made up your mind.

I agree with the person who said that the stylist's intentions were good, but maybe her delivery was a bit harsh. Something tells me maybe she just wanted to get you to think about the whole situation. In one breath she's criticizing, but at the same time, she was applying a relaxer to your hair which she believed to be damaged. That's not so hot in itself.

Maybe at this point what you should consider is whether maybe you might want to simply take a break from relaxing. It just sounds like you have not had the best person doing the relaxer application and that's where you've run into trouble. I think your goal in the long run if you want to relax your hair is either to find a superior stylist who can do it well or learn yourself.

When my hair was relaxed, I was always grateful that I had the stylist I did because she cared about my hair. That makes a tremendous difference.

~Jade~

[/ QUOTE ]

I agree that you should take a break. If you want to continue perming, then that's okay. I just think you should take a break and learn how to extend your touch-ups, moisterize your new growth, do roller sets, etc.

 

[blue_flower]

[ QUOTE ]
dannie_19 said:
Thank you guys so much!!! I feel alot better now and I'm never going to her again. I try so hard to take care of my hair and I was just a bit hurt when she sat there ripping me to shreds. I know it's my fault since I know that I just need to either break down and do my own relaxers or go natural. I also think I will look into texturizing here on the board. I am so stuipd for letting people jack up my hair for this long. I let her FLATIRON my hair after a touch-up. How stuipd am I? OK course it looks thinner, you are never supposed to flat iron pressed hair, and I know this already. I told her, "your only supposed to rollerset permed hair" and she said "rollersets are for people who just trying to hide their breakage." WTF?

[/ QUOTE ]

That's the reason why more people are going to the Dominican salons!