I need a hair style intervention - vent ( advice appreciated)

[ajoke]

I have been feeling down in the dumps over my hair lately. Mind you, this is the first time since I BC in May 2009 that I finally like the way my hair feels- it's finally soft and moisturizer and much less tangly. I am keeping it simple big time, and my hair is growing steadily, mostly thicker at this point, but after a mini chop of my split ends in May, my length is beginning to recover again. But- the big but is that all the health benefits come with the consequence that I look a ham most of the time. Many times I don't like the way I look in the mirror. I have enough hair to bun or puff, but shrinkage ensures that I have to straighten my hair if I want to bun without jeopardizing my fragile edges. I have now roller set my hair to stretch it twice, and it actually got stretched decently, but my bangs look a ham - I started wearing bangs because of my edges. I don't know how you ladies use gel to smooth your hair into a bun, because it is just not working for me without me getting a headache.
Many of the women i'm around wear fake hair 98% of the time, and I'm trying to encourage them to take care of heir natural hair, but how can I be taken serious if I look unpolished. Plus I'm in a professional job, and At the way I've been looking recently.
I feel like I have to either keep my hair in weaves or braids until I get to the length where twist outs and braid outs begin to look good again, but I'm afraid my hard won progress with my edges will be lost again.

Looking rationally, I think like the way I'm feeling is caused by a mix of pregnancy hormones and the awkward length I'm at. When my hair was shorter, twist outs looked better to me.
Does anyone have any advice as to hairstyles that look professional and grown up with bangs? Or should I just do a full head weave with a closure and keep it moving?

 

[brittle_hair]

I felt like that about my hair the month that I wore it natural, so I decided to braid up until my length is long enough to do more styles. Braiding doesn't have to mean you lose your edges, it doesn't for me cos I keep the edges moisturized and I hold the root of the hair while the hairdresser braids the hairline, so it doesn't pull the hair out.

What length is your hair? Can you get it into a french roll? Is it long enough to wear a barrette? There must be styles you can do that you like, such as a frohawk, I'm sure other naturals can give you some hair style options.

But if u know you would prefer your hair at a longer length then maybe u just need to wig/weave until then. Ain't nothing wrong with fakin' it till you make it!

 

[ajoke]

Thanks for commenting brittle_hair. My hair is about CBL at the back and NL almost SL in front when stretched. I think I'll just put the hair in a weave, but I really hope my edges survive. Or cornrows, if only I could figure out a style with bangs that still looks adult.

 

[ManeStreet]

Weaves are a great way to try out a new style, length or color to mix things up and make it fun when u are feeling in a hair rut. Just make sure you find someone who can do a proper install that is not too tight and take care of your hair underneath. You hair get a curly/kinky curly/or kinky straight hair so you can still have a natural look but just more versatility. I say go for it. I'm only on the 2nd weave I ever had and I'm hooked because I think its a fun way to change things up with the commitment or damage to my own hair.

 

[NappyNelle]

What about low-manipulation styles like twists and braids? IMO, they are very professional and can be clipped to put low stress on your hairline. You can also stretch your hair without heat by air drying in braids. It takes longer to dry, but it's gentler on your hair than rollersetting.

 

[ajoke]

Weaves are a great way to try out a new style, length or color to mix things up and make it fun when u are feeling in a hair rut. Just make sure you find someone who can do a proper install that is not too tight and take care of your hair underneath. You hair get a curly/kinky curly/or kinky straight hair so you can still have a natural look but just more versatility. I say go for it. I'm only on the 2nd weave I ever had and I'm hooked because I think its a fun way to change things up with the commitment or damage to my own hair.

I actually used to do weaves a lot, but I have suffered set backs in the past, particularly with my hair line, that is why I am careful.

What about low-manipulation styles like twists and braids? IMO, they are very professional and can be clipped to put low stress on your hairline. You can also stretch your hair without heat by air drying in braids. It takes longer to dry, but it's gentler on your hair than rollersetting.

I have only actually roller set twice now, and I mostly allowed the roller set to air dry as it's main purpose was to stretch out my hair and not style as such.
I have been doing twists or frenchrolls with twisted bangs since May. It doesn't look professional on me though, because my hair is fine and the twists are so thin and scragly in spite of the fact that I have a lot of hair on my head! Maybe kinky twists are the way to go.