I have a theory...

[Godyssey]

I've mentioned this to my husband and he disagree's.

Anyway, my theory is that men and women are raised to be incompatable.

Girls play with dolls, glitter, they like pink, are told to act like ladies...

Boys are taught to be distructive, like dark colors, and taught to be hell raisers... in lot's of cases, just the opposite of what a girl are taught

Cut to the future, with a divorce rate of 50% last I heard. Is it just me or do you think that perhaps men and woman sometimes just aren't very compatible because of the way they were raised?

Please be aware that I'm generalizing here.

I'm thinking that Perhaps if there were some way to make boys and girls more understanding to each other and more comaptible early on, then that may be a good step in the right direction in the long term.

I mean hopefully, the women won't be the only one nurturing the kids, so why is it so bad for boys to cultivate some nurturing skills by playing with a doll or having a pet.

Girls could learn to do things that were typical male things. Like learning how to use tools etc.

I believe it would close the gap between us somewhat. What do you all think?

 

[Mai Tai]

I would respectfully disagree with the above viewpoint because generally speaking,...

- I do not think the nurturing of children, and usage of tools are gender specific qualities to begin with. These are skills that any PERSON should have, period.

- The best way to teach children is to lead by example. Before we start handing our boys dolls, or our girls toolboxes in an effort to foster a particular characteristic, we ourselves have to be nurturing, independent, and diligent. We have to get involved in healthier practices and more functional relationships in order to equip our children with these same values.

- Regardless of what you teach...men and women are different. I think that if children are taught to love, respect, and appreciate our differences some marriages would last longer.

 

[Syrah]

I also have to respectfully disagree. I don't think divorce rates have anything to do with the differences in how boys and girls are cultured to understand and internalize masculinity and femininity. If that were the case, divorce rates in countries like Sweden, Denmark, France and Spain would be equally as high - and they're not.

Something else is going on.

My opinion - the problem is two fold - people date without purpose and approach marriage as a fantasy. Dating is communicating via email, text message, Facebook and Twitter. Dating is cohabitation and kids without commitment, tolerating behaviors hoping "(s)he'll change" and making lists that involve a man's height, education and income, how often and where he attends church, not his commitment to his relationship with God, his ability to love and support, his loyalty, his commitment to being a provider etc. Dating is "not asking the tough question because I don't want to scare him off" only to find out after marriage. Marriage is engagement rings, weddings, a-line dresses and color palettes.

We date based on the wrong things and marry with the "for better" not the "or for worse" in mind.

 

[Duchesse]

I can see where you're coming from. Makes me think of a book I read in school, I think it was "Boys Will Be Boys", and "Raising Ophelia", I really don't remember the titles, anyhoo, in class we discussed the completely different ways that children are raised/socialized, as well as the natural tendencies in many boys/girls to be interested in diff things.

But I agree with the other posters. I think in the long run, the breakdown in communication/marriage occurs frequently due to individuals lack of seeing an "others" viewpoint as valid, disfunctional mating, and twisted ideals (individual and societal). Not so much about a difference in gendered interests.

My preference for pink teddy bears and doubledutch and his preference for G.I Joe and Tag Football (tounge in cheek generality) will probably not make him my best friend in childhood, but I don't think it affects my and his ability to form a longstanding companionship when we're adults.

Again, I get what you're saying when it comes to the abilities to nurture and be sensitive. Ufortunately, that is a quality that is often frowned upon with young boys (man up son...don't be a p*ssy, etc.) that is to the detriment to boys/men, and the women/men who they end up in relationships with....but I don't think that is the main reason behind the current divorce rate.

I'm rambling now..