I Hate Stylists!!!!!!!!!

[CheerBear]

Ok....Now I rarely ever post....but I have to today, because I'm SO mad I could cry and only you ladies will understand...

First of all, I'm a member that's been here for a loooooong time, just never make my presence known..and when I did I was always the girl with a new problem...so now more problems, I pretty much got my hair under control...that is until I decided to go back to a stylist last month, now the drama begins...

My first experience (October 20th) with her went as follows:

I explained to her that I hadn't been to a stylist in a while because I was learning to care for my hair myself and didn't agree with some practices. I told her I have really fragine fine hair that can't take alot of heat or chemicals....she then grabs my hair and tells me that it's thick and nappy and she can take care of it...so proceed to her doing the usual "talk down to the client like they don't know anything" routine..and I'm arguing with her..so she gets out the relaxer..I tell her righ then, I have a sensitive scalp so please base me really well..she does...about 15 minutes go buy and I'm burning..I tell her...she sprays some oil sheen on the area..keeps going, I say no, I'm burning, I don't need sores, I already have psoriasis..she rinses me..I'm thinking she is going to do a deep con, she insteads does a quick rinse, then puts setting lotion in my hair, sits me under the dryer and leaves me or 30 minutes. When I was dry, she flat ironed it with ceramics(thank god!), trimmed it, then flat ironed again to style it. So at this point I'm pissed that she didnt deep condition me and just used mad heat on it. When I was on my way out..she informs me that she used a super on me!!!!! I dont think anyone needs a super, especially not someone whose hair is already weak!

So I went in today to get a deep condition and trim..thinking nobody can mess that up..WRONG!!!! First thing she tried to do was convince me that I needed a relaxer. I told her hell no, I don't have enough new growth! She argued with me that my hair is breaking because I need a perm..and I informed her that it's breaking because she used a super on me and enough heat to fry the sun...soooooo she ended up not trimming, and not conditioning me well( 10 minutes under dryer), after which she put a little oil on my hair and put me back under the dryer, then blow dried it using a thin ass comb, yanking out my hair, and when I told her to stop because it's taking my hair out, she tells me " no..im training your hair to be straight, this comb will make it more managable".....so tht right there ended the visit. I should not have even gone back, but I thought I would give her another try. I'm just so mad because she tried to talk to me like I'm an idiot who knows nothing...If nothing else, I know my own hair! I'm too mad to even type more right now..but I've decided to go back to doing my hair. The end.

 

[Lovelylocs]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

Don't go back to her!
Where do u live? You don't know of any dominican salons?

 

[Cooyah]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

i'm so sorry this happened to you hun, hair stylists can be very stupid (for lack of a better word) when it comes to doing what the client wants for their hair. If you ever do decide to go to another stylist try and go into a salon and find out about their practices before letting them touch your hair, do a consult or even look on the threads here about salons in your area. Good Luck and I'm really sorry this happened.

 

[sky_blu]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

Yes! Do not GO BACK! RUN! Why would she use a super if you tell her about your hair that you walk around with 24/7? Sounds like an idiot to me!

 

[Lovelylocs]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

i'm so sorry this happened to you hun, hair stylists can be very stupid (for lack of a better word) when it comes to doing what the client wants for their hair. If you ever do decide to go to another stylist try and go into a salon and find out about their practices before letting them touch your hair, do a consult or even look on the threads here about salons in your area. Good Luck and I'm really sorry this happened.

This sounds like a good idea. The trouble is that although u need an appointment for many AA shops, they are not formal enough for consultations and tours. I would feel strange doing this.

 

[LizLeila]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

She sounds dumb. I would NEVER go back. Sorry you had to go through this.

 

[Sassygoddess]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

OMG i can't believe her. This is why i don't go to sylists. i was just telling my friend the other day how when you go to a black stylists they don;t know sh*T about hair care, they just know how to style. if you go in with a problem they don;t recommend any products they just style and let you go with the damage hair. Lack of education if you ask me. i am so upset for you. her doing this to your hair might have set you 6 months backwards. stay away from black stylist. if you try to tell them what you want they become offened and upset as if you don;t know your own hair. Ugh! .

Anywoo! good luck on repairing the damage if there was any.
we are here for you

 

[CheerBear]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

I live in cincy and we don't have dominican shops from what I know...and believe me, I'm not going back...I've spent too much time on here and and had too many heartaches from my hair to let some idiot with a license screw it up.

 

[hopeful]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

Sorry about what happened to you Cheerbear. Sending you a really big (((HUG))). She sent you signs from the start--when she "grabbed" your hair and told you it was thick and nappy that was a big warning sign. But you know what? We all make mistakes and sometimes it takes that last time to really get us to learn that WE HAVE TO STAND UP FOR OURSELVES AND OUR HAIR. The problem is not all hair stylists, the problem was with her and you not walking out after she grabbed your hair and talked down to you. And then you went back for more punishment. Remember that you deserve better, that there are some good stylists out there and that you have to trust your gut.

 

[bluediamond0829]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

girl i wldnt go back to her..how can you need a relaxer already...and super relaxer is to to strong...is she crazy...she was trying to make more money by telling you you need another relaxer...

 

[caligirl]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

I'm transitioning and doing my own darn hair now because of bad experiences that I had with stylist. My hair kept getting thinner and shorter and I tried to ignore it. Then one day, I was like, this is ridiculous. I've got to learn to work with my own hair. On the day of my last touch up, I had driven all the way to Boston from Washington DC because I didn't trust anyone else to relax my hair. When I got to my friends house where I was staying, she had the thickest, healthiest, waist length natural hair. And all she did was wet it and put conditioner in it. That was the turning point for me.

 

[Crysdon]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

You let her just rinse the relaxer out your hair and not use a neutralizing shampoo?

 

[SUPER SWEET]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

Never go back to her, the city is full of stylists. Ask for referrals or just walk in shops to take a sneak peek at the work.Now is the time to put your LHCF lessons to use. No heat, deep conditioning and protective styles.

 

[blazingthru]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

I agree you shouldn't go back there but you should also let them know that the service was horrible and your thinking about reporting them to BBB, Everyone needs a wake up call every now and then, I wouldn't give up on Stylist there are moments in your life where you will need someone to hook you up for this occasion or that celebration it would be better to find a shop that has good recommendation and pay a visit maybe just get a wash and curl and see how they do things you can always stop at the wash if you feel they are not treating you right and also you can most definately tell people exactly how you want your hair done and if their faces is all annoyed then its time to step. I just told my stylist after 18 years that I am through with her, I loved her she can hook my hair up like no one could but she would have me in her shop for 10 hours, I'm just getting a french roll - okay well I always wanted a little extra but she would always over book and half the time I was getting out of there at 2am and I was on the bus then. Also she wouldn't be there when I showed up. Well the last time I called her and she never called me back so I didnt' go and she acted all funny about it. Mind you I use to stand out in the rain waiting for her to come. She said well maybe I need to see someone else. So that was the end of that story after 18 years. I was hurt because no one can do hair like her - no one. Anyway I am not kissing no one A anymore. So I said so long and that was the end of that. Aint no body better then me. Aint nobody better then you and you deserve the kind of service your money that you worked hard for is paying. The problem is no one wants to let these shops know what the deal is the client sets the form for how the hair is going to be taken care of not the stylist, especiallly if they want to make money. They won't get it ( I mean It ) until they get told a couple times and word of mouth spreads faster then fire. I wouldn't go back there but I sure would let them know their service is terrible

 

[PretteePlease]

Re: I F**KING HATE STYLISTS!!!!!!!!!

you did right to leave a super perm that ***** was trippin you need to post her name and the salon to put her on blast

 

[UmSumayyah]

Say it with me ladies... "NO. MORE. STYLISTS!"

 

[rai]

i'M sorry you had that experience. It's good that you are not going back. Always trust your instincts.

 

[NoNapNique]

IMO from hearing horror stories (and experiencing some of my own over the years)... The salon industry is not geared toward healthy hair care. They fry it to get it looking really nice when you walk out (so then you depend on them to keep you looking good)... But you're back a week later for a deep condition because a million little pieces broke off as soon as you got home! Then they keep it short by always trimming too soon, and more than you tell them to... just so you are on a CONSTANT CYCLE of "growing out" your hair, and being dependent on them for styling and *MORE* trimming (because they keep frying the newly trimmed ends!). It's how they keep their pockets full.

In addition to the above, I stopped going to stylists because I hate how catty and unprofessional they are. I don't like all the attitude and silent treatment when you *nicely* say you don't want something, or *nicely* ask them not to do something. I especially won't be going now that I am 2 in. from brastrap and it's getting thicker and healthier.

 

[KathyMay]

Say it with me ladies... "NO. MORE. STYLISTS!"

Exactly UmSumayyah NO MORE STYLISTS. CheerBear you should attempt home styling your hair and get it back to healthy now beofre you go to anymore stylists. I have had to learn the hard way by "trusting" stylists to style my hair. Sometimes it is just not worth it.

 

[Crystalicequeen123]

IMO from hearing horror stories (and experiencing some of my own over the years)... The salon industry is not geared toward healthy hair care. They fry it to get it looking really nice when you walk out (so then you depend on them to keep you looking good)... But you're back a week later for a deep condition because a million little pieces broke off as soon as you got home! Then they keep it short by always trimming too soon, and more than you tell them to... just so you are on a CONSTANT CYCLE of "growing out" your hair, and being dependent on them for styling and *MORE* trimming (because they keep frying the newly trimmed ends!). It's how they keep their pockets full.

In addition to the above, I stopped going to stylists because I hate how catty and unprofessional they are. I don't like all the attitude and silent treatment when you *nicely* say you don't want something, or *nicely* ask them not to do something. I especially won't be going now that I am 2 in. from brastrap and it's getting thicker and healthier.

WOW! You're my inspiration NoNapNique!! How do you do it?? How do you keep your hair looking nicely without going to a salon EVER?
I think I would quite the salons too if I didn't like being "pampered" and rollersetting so much.

I think I'm going to ease up on the salons too and see how the health of my hair does. If my hair starts breaking and stuff then I'll go back. But I think just going to the salon for my relaxer treatment is basically all I need. I too am kind of fed up with the salons. I mean, my stylist (bless her heart) is very nice, and is quite dedicated to hair health, BUT...she's so far, and a bit expensive! I feel like everytime I go to her I'm being coaxed into buying another product or a "deep treatment". I'm sure they're great for my hair, and sometimes I do get one, but I'm a college student! I'm not money bags. lol

 

[balisi]

I understand your frustration with stylists, because I've had a few bad ones myself. I've also had some great ones, so I know that not all stylists are cut from the same cloth. As a customer, one should be ready, willing and able to LEAVE as soon as one sees, hears, or feels anything one doesn't like.

 

[angelk316]

I Hate Stylists too. When I was permed they never wanted to deep condition my hair. If they did they wanted to charge me extra. They wanted to charge extra for every little thing. I hated that. A roller set would be $50!!! My hair was always breaking off because I could never find a good stylist that I could afford.
thats why I am natural now.

 

[Mizani_Mrs]

Just remember 'NOT ALL STYLISTS ARE CREATED EQUAL'. I seriously thought they were. I mean afterall...aren't they studying the same Malady Cosmo book??? As for me....i've found better luck in an international chain salon called Hair Cuttery and I hear JCPenneys is pretty good as well. If you are just trying a stylist out...go there for a rollerset or blowdry when your hair is recently permed because they can't mess that up, no matter what they put in it. See how they handle it, then ask that stylist questions as far as relaxers and their technique and tell them your 'relaxer wishes' and you can get a feel if he will respect the wishes or if he keep interrupting you and telling you that his way is better. If so then simply go to another stylist for your rollerset (same salon) until you find a good one. You'd be surprised how my first convo went when i first went there...My stylist (a spanish chick) was telling me her technique which was very good...then another stylist chimed in about how she relax all the way to the ends and how she uses a Nexxus Emergencee trtmt to permanently stop the breakage she caused. (i wanted to slap her soooo bad, how a temporary condtioner is gonna stop permenant relaxer damage?) So i make a point to call for an appt for MY STYLIST...even if i have to wait an extra week to get on her calendar.
But overall...healthy hair does start at home.... Is there any reason why you can't go to eBay, purchase the same conditioner and do your own deep cond? heck you can do a 3hr deep cond if you want to.... I only go to the salon for touch-ups and also maybe a rollerset once a month just to keep my hair trained and bouncy.....
This is it...make a committment to yourself to never let anyone relax your hair without you interviewing them first. (i know it's embarassing, but u gotta do it).....

 

[NoNapNique]

WOW! You're my inspiration NoNapNique!! How do you do it?? How do you keep your hair looking nicely without going to a salon EVER?

Well... Most of the time I wear my hair in a bun.
But to answer your question - to keep it looking "salon styled" whenever I wear it down... first I learned how to self-trim. I've been doing 1/8 inch dustings about every 6 weeks since May to even up my hair, as it is growing out some short spots (I wish I had recent pics, because it has really improved since my album pics!) I let my hair air dry as much as possible, then if I want a sleek look I will use my ceramic flat iron on a medium setting (and always with heat protectant). But In order to take care of your own hair, you definitely have to have a good idea of how you like your hair to look, or else you will get frustrated and give up. I like my hair bouncy, thick and full... So I gear all my styling and maintenance products towards that. For instance, for that "salon bounce" I used to get when I had my hair blow FRIED and curled with marcel irons - I invested in Caruso steam rollers... Then I follow up with KeraCare essential oils for that "salon shine" (or Aveda Anti-Humectant pomade, then lightly spritz with Luster's Pink Oil Glosser). Soon as I walk out the door, my hair just bounces and blows in the wind - and people are asking who does my hair! Then at night, I put a little Vitapointe on my ends and do pin curls, the next day it looks exactly the same!
Come on... TAKE THE 'NO STYLISTS' CHALLENGE! :bouncegre

 

[tenderheaded]

Hair stylists are the only people we pay who DON'T listen to us !!! And they feel perfectly justified in taking out their dislike of questioning them on us! When I got my natural hair relaxed in April and said "no cut". She kept talking down to me "your hair will split up the shaft, or these are old ends need to go"Well, since I only had 1/2 inch the year before (thanks to another sytlist) they couldn't have been that old!!! She took out her anger by combing my hair so hard she raked my shoulders!

I don't like having to do my own hair but I don't like being almost bald either. I'm getting the hang of self hair care and getting compliments. You will too!!!

 

[CurliDiva]

Why do we let stylists talk us out of all of the GREAT hair knowledge and self love that we've gained?

I'm afraid to go to a salon (or even a braid shop) becuase I don't want to hear the yada, yada about my hair being thick (code for full and nappy) and it needs to be straighten.

Not only do I think they will still try to do what they want, but this is a blow to my "hair" self esteem.

 

[uncutandgettinglonger]

I can't believe that *****'s nerve!!! You were only at five weeks. Generally that is not long enough, unless your hair grows fast, and even then I would have stretched for a few more weeks.

There is a white lady that does my hair, she is great, very customer oriented. She takes a pick and goes thouth my hair each time to see where my really curly sopts are, the first time she was there, she wrote them down so that if there ever was a time that she wasn't able to do my hair, the other girl would know what to do. she only relaxes my new growth. The only direct heat she uses is to flat iron, and I don't really think that its very hot.

She always asks if I want a trim/ I haven't had any damage since doing to her. The I went to a lady about two months before I found her who started in on trimmming my hair before asking and said that I needed it to be trimmed because I had just had a relaxer. She did do a decent job on my head, it wasn't all stiff and stuff afterward, but I didn't like the way that she did business over all.

 

[CheerBear]

I don't even think I'm so much angry with her as I am with the fact that black women are so disenchanted and ignorant when it comes to our hair. I know how many she has un the same lines on and they just accept it because they feel, they went to "hair school" so they must know! I know I'm not saying anything everyone here doesn't already know, it's just the first time I've had to personally experience someone so unknowledgable...I mean really..the women tried to use the rat tail comb in my hair, and when I told her to take the damn thing out, she says" Your hair isn't used to being straight, this is how you train it and make it more managable" THIS IS WHY SO MANY WOMEN ARE BALD HEADED....And like so many of you said..i should have stood up for myself..but, enough of this rant. I just wish all us LHCF women could teach community classes or something...

 

[Mahalialee4]

It was all about WHO IS IN CONTROL!!!!And a lot of them are mentored in such a fashion...because some have illusions of grandeur and egos out of sight!!! Many stylists are treated like crap and peasants by the owners and the one chance they get to shine and BE IN CONTROL of anything is when you are in the chair. It should be a joint effort and positive working relationship between the stylist and the CLIENT WHO IS PAYING!!!!!!!!!! but too often, the stylist makes it all about her/him. Oh yeah, it is all about CONTROL!!! When they can control you...they can control your time......and your pocket book, and HOW YOU AND YOUR HAIR WILL BE TREATED...in spite of anything you want or have to say....and you will LIKE IT AND PUT UP WITH IT....Stop letting stylists pimp your hair....bonjour

 

[mscounselor]

I guess Im one of the few who only needed one experience never to go back. All of my bad experiences were because I didn't stand up for myself. The one back in Ft. Lauderdale is different. She could care less about styles. She always checks for health first.
For those who dont' go to stylist, Kudos to you. I dont have the patience to learn how to do my hair right now.