I had an Epiphany!

[Candycane044]

On March 15, 2008 as I was straightening my hair, I had an epiphany. For my two years of being natural I never wore my natural hair out. I always hid it in braids, wigs, or straightened it. Today when I was going to straighten my hair I realized it was time to stop. I realized that I don't like my hair when it's straight at all, because it loses its personality. I was straightening/hiding all this time because of fear of rejection from my boyfriend and others as well. I came to the realization (finally!! took me long enough) that if these people truly care about me they will love me regardless of what my hair looks like. I know it sounds ridiculous but this was a serious struggle I had. Now is the time to stop hiding. My natural hair is coming out for the world to see! And believe me it's here to stay

http://public.fotki.com/Candycane044/
There aren't many photos but believe me there will be.

 

[PureSilver]

I'm happy for you, it's always wonderful feeling when we can cross hurdle, i too sare a very similar struggle. I've always wanted long hair for as long as i can remember and i would always beat upon myself, when pl compliment my hair (when it's looking good and growing, cuz i'm sure we all have bad hair days) yes i do feel good, but it's even a nicer feeling when they can see your hair in it's natural state and still love and accept you for who you are and not what your hair doesn't or doesnt do to you.

I'm still trying to accept my curl pattern and hair type. God knows why so won't question it, i'll just embrace it

 

[Joyful1]

Congratulations, Candycane. I'm so happy for you and your new found hair freedom!

 

[hopeful]

Congratulations!!! Enjoy all of that beautiful hair.

 

[ajoyfuljoy]

That's a great epiphany. I was struck about something I read on another hair board that said,

"Why are African-Americans the only race of people afraid/ashamed to wear out their natural hair?" erplexed

That really got to me. While I've been out and about this weekend, all I see is black ladies with weave in (including me and my pony)! It's like I never noticed it before or saw it from this new perspective. I saw one natural head, her hair was cute and I had to tell her so.

So yeah, I'm thinking too. I'm 12 weeks post (I was supposed to relax this weekend but I chickened out). I like the texture of my natural hair, I'm not sure what it would look like grown out, but the waves I get when I put it in a ponytail and the coils I see are really interesting. And this is the first time in my life I've ever felt this way or even noticed what my natural texture kind of looks like (found this out a couple of months ago).

I may relax next week (who knows?) but I'll still be thinking about all of this.

 

[Candycane044]

Thank you ladies for your support and understanding! I think that this is a struggle many of us go through.

 

[quasimodi]

That's a great epiphany. I was struck about something I read on another hair board that said,

"Why are African-Americans the only race of people afraid/ashamed to wear out their natural hair?" erplexed

That really got to me. While I've been out and about this weekend, all I see is black ladies with weave in (including me and my pony)! It's like I never noticed it before or saw it from this new perspective. I saw one natural head, her hair was cute and I had to tell her so.

So yeah, I'm thinking too. I'm 12 weeks post (I was supposed to relax this weekend but I chickened out). I like the texture of my natural hair, I'm not sure what it would look like grown out, but the waves I get when I put it in a ponytail and the coils I see are really interesting. And this is the first time in my life I've ever felt this way or even noticed what my natural texture kind of looks like (found this out a couple of months ago).

I may relax next week (who knows?) but I'll still be thinking about all of this.

I've had the same thought, too. It seems as though every other race can do what they wish with their natural hair and not be ashamed, but black women seem to have this ever looming stigma on our hair.

Don't get me wrong. There are many women who like to relax or straighten their hair (I'm thinking LHCF folks), because it's more conducive to their lifestyles or they find their hair easier to manage that way or they simply like the look it gives them. I personally don't see anyything wrong with wearing your hair straight for those reasons. However, there are also a great deal of women who are out right ashamed/scared to wear their hair naturally. Fear of rejection from their loved ones, society at large, fear of being thought of as "ugly", etc. There's something wrong with that picture. As though the way God made us is something that needs to be corrected???

So, Candycane, congratulations on your hair epiphany!!! Run free! Let the curls bounce and soar and shrink and retract (you know how our hair does), and most of all, be YOU!

 

[Candycane044]

I've had the same thought, too. It seems as though every other race can do what they wish with their natural hair and not be ashamed, but black women seem to have this ever looming stigma on our hair.

Don't get me wrong. There are many women who like to relax or straighten their hair (I'm thinking LHCF folks), because it's more conducive to their lifestyles or they find their hair easier to manage that way or they simply like the look it gives them. I personally don't see anyything wrong with wearing your hair straight for those reasons. However, there are also a great deal of women who are out right ashamed/scared to wear their hair naturally. Fear of rejection from their loved ones, society at large, fear of being thought of as "ugly", etc. There's something wrong with that picture. As though the way God made us is something that needs to be corrected???

So, Candycane, congratulations on your hair epiphany!!! Run free! Let the curls bounce and soar and shrink and retract (you know how our hair does), and most of all, be YOU! yep:

Thank you quasimodi! I agree with you, I know for me it was mostly fear of rejection from loved ones and society. I love my natural hair but I knew that others wouldn't. But I'm to the point that I don't care what others think. My hair has never been healthier and it doesn't deserve to be hidden!

 

[BlkOnyx488]

I completely understand how you feel. I did wigs and weaves all the time. then one day I was like go for it, see what happens. I get so many compliments on my hair now. And getting ready in the morning is such a breeze. when it rains who cares, the freedom is great.

 

[Lucky's Mom]

Congrats honey


We do all go through this..................

I am happy for you!
sj

 

[LHLover]

I came to the realization (finally!! took me long enough) that if these people truly care about me they will love me regardless of what my hair looks like..

Those who love you will love you for who you are with your natural hair. And they will love you not despite your natural hair but because of your natural hair. Congrtas on your realization.

 

[cupcakes]

i wanna seee!!!
can u post pix when u decide to wear it out? i luv big hair!

 

[ladylibra]

congrats! nothing wrong with wearing braids/twists/weaves as protective styles or for a change of pace... but i know how liberating it is to just wear your own natural hair and ENJOY it!

 

[2grlsandme]

You go girl! Good for you.

 

[diligence]

This is wonderful to hear. Much like you, I have been (and still am) hiding my natural hair with braids. It wasn't until I found this site (last month)that I realized that the time has come to embrace my hair, and not be afraid to wear it like it is...our hair is beautiful, and until we embrace it, we can't expect others to!

 

[Transformer]

Congratulations on your Epiphany! But truthfully did your boyfriend or other people ever say they didn't like your natural hair?

I've been natural a very, very long time. In the last four months I have started wearing rollersets primarily because my hair was dry and brittle due to lack of proper care (before LHCF membership). Previously I would wear two strand twists or just a wash/wear. I loved the freedom both styles provided.

Now since my hair is "straight".. pretty much EVERYONE tells me how they like my natural curly hair doo the best. DH of 31 years, who I THOUGHT preferred straight hair is always asking me when is "Curly Sue" going to return? He likes it better!

Also, take a look at many "mix" marriages...I was in the military for ages and we had plenty....most couples where the female is black and husband is another race...the female has a very "natural" appearance. I was once told by a gentlemen that while he was attractive to Black women he was more attractive to those that embraced their "natural" attributes...like natural hair. He disliked weaves not because of their appearance but that they sorta revealed a person's confidence.

But the very best to you and the new mind set that "loves her natural self."

A bit off topic: Yesterday DH and I were shopping and he pointed out a salesclerk and said " she has got to be the darkest person I've ever seen in my life ( hubby is the shade of 4:30 pm in the winter--nickname 430) but she is also one of the prettiest." Just to say, beauty has many images...not just the ones in the media.

 

[Firstborn2]

Congratz Candycane, I totally understand where you are coming from. Although I have been natual all of my life (well expect for 1 whole year I decided to relax, didnt work out so I went back natural). But the comments I get from friends and coworks and a few male family members saddens me. I had a very close friend ask my SO why does he let me walk out of the house with my head looking the way it does. Like I should be embarrass to wear my hair in it's natural state. I just realized that the world is full of ignorant ppl and I'm not going to stop doing me, because those ppl are embarrassed of who they are.

 

[Candycane044]

Congratulations on your Epiphany! But truthfully did your boyfriend or other people ever say they didn't like your natural hair?

I've been natural a very, very long time. In the last four months I have started wearing rollersets primarily because my hair was dry and brittle due to lack of proper care (before LHCF membership). Previously I would wear two strand twists or just a wash/wear. I loved the freedom both styles provided.

Now since my hair is "straight".. pretty much EVERYONE tells me how they like my natural curly hair doo the best. DH of 31 years, who I THOUGHT preferred straight hair is always asking me when is "Curly Sue" going to return? He likes it better!

Also, take a look at many "mix" marriages...I was in the military for ages and we had plenty....most couples where the female is black and husband is another race...the female has a very "natural" appearance. I was once told by a gentlemen that while he was attractive to Black women he was more attractive to those that embraced their "natural" attributes...like natural hair. He disliked weaves not because of their appearance but that they sorta revealed a person's confidence.

But the very best to you and the new mind set that "loves her natural self."

A bit off topic: Yesterday DH and I were shopping and he pointed out a salesclerk and said " she has got to be the darkest person I've ever seen in my life ( hubby is the shade of 4:30 pm in the winter--nickname 430) but she is also one of the prettiest." Just to say, beauty has many images...not just the ones in the media.

Wow you ladies are fantastic! Thank you so so much for the support.

Ebonybee-You make an EXCELLENT point. I did assume that the people close to me would hate my hair. I do know for a fact though that my family hates natural hair except my dad who LOVES natural hair. As for the boyfriend...hmm I don't know lol! But you are definitely right about people being beautiful regardless of what the media tries to push.

I will definitely post pics with styles that I've tried out! Thanks again for the support! I love you ladies!

 

[Candycane044]

Congratz Candycane, I totally understand where you are coming from. Although I have been natual all of my life (well expect for 1 whole year I decided to relax, didnt work out so I went back natural). But the comments I get from friends and coworks and a few male family members saddens me. I had a very close friend ask my SO why does he let me walk out of the house with my head looking the way it does. Like I should be embarrass to wear my hair in it's natural state. I just realized that the world is full of ignorant ppl and I'm not going to stop doing me, because those ppl are embarrassed of who they are.

Wow.. that's all I can say.