I got Weaved checked and my hair pulled!
- Thread starter gissellr78
- Start date
LadyRaider
Well-Known Member
I wanna be weave checked so bad.
Tamster
New Member
that is horrible... but you know what?
its a solid example of how our bodies are continued to be disrespected. How we as people are continually devalued-- that our selves are still objects to be curious about, to be marveled at, to be objectified, to be used, to be abused.
The following is an excerpt from a transcript from a show on NPR ... the piece was called "Keep Your Hands Off the Hair"
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125020162
"On blog after blog, black women railed about the rudeness of folk just walking up and touching their hair.
On another site, womanist-musings.com, in an article called "Can I Touch Your Hair? Black Women and The Petting Zoo," the author noted, "Today white people still feel that they have the right to our bodies." She went on to say, "My blackness and your curiosity does not give you the right to touch me."
Let's have a reality check here. For hundreds of years, whites had permission to do anything they wanted to black people, and that includes things far worse than touching our hair.
Even now, there are still those pesky signs of disrespect, like a white person calling a woman old enough to be their grandmother by her first name. Is it because she's black and therefore doesn't deserve the respect of a title? Don't both acts send a signal that black people are still objects to be treated as one pleases — all without said object's permission?
One Web site actually suggested that blacks try humor or self-deprecation to assuage the hurt feelings of the offended person who has just forcibly touched them. But I think, what you ought to do, is keep your hands outta my hair, unless I invite you to touch it.[...]"
I encourage you all to listen to/read the link. The bulk of it is here, but it was still a great story.
This speaks worlds of truth, and is exactly what I want to convey. The issue is so much deeper than just people being rude.
its a solid example of how our bodies are continued to be disrespected. How we as people are continually devalued-- that our selves are still objects to be curious about, to be marveled at, to be objectified, to be used, to be abused.
The following is an excerpt from a transcript from a show on NPR ... the piece was called "Keep Your Hands Off the Hair"
http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=125020162
"On blog after blog, black women railed about the rudeness of folk just walking up and touching their hair.
On another site, womanist-musings.com, in an article called "Can I Touch Your Hair? Black Women and The Petting Zoo," the author noted, "Today white people still feel that they have the right to our bodies." She went on to say, "My blackness and your curiosity does not give you the right to touch me."
Let's have a reality check here. For hundreds of years, whites had permission to do anything they wanted to black people, and that includes things far worse than touching our hair.
Even now, there are still those pesky signs of disrespect, like a white person calling a woman old enough to be their grandmother by her first name. Is it because she's black and therefore doesn't deserve the respect of a title? Don't both acts send a signal that black people are still objects to be treated as one pleases — all without said object's permission?
One Web site actually suggested that blacks try humor or self-deprecation to assuage the hurt feelings of the offended person who has just forcibly touched them. But I think, what you ought to do, is keep your hands outta my hair, unless I invite you to touch it.[...]"
I encourage you all to listen to/read the link. The bulk of it is here, but it was still a great story.
This speaks worlds of truth, and is exactly what I want to convey. The issue is so much deeper than just people being rude.
brittanynic16
Well-Known Member
This happened to me about a month ago. Chick put her hand all in my scalp!
kasey
Active Member
If someone pulled your hair at the job, that person should be fired, or at least reprimanded.
DrC
Well-Known Member
Why do some people think ALL black women wear weave and that its impossible for us to grow hair?? Even if it were a weave what si of your business?? Thats like me going up to a white woman saying: " Wow!! Your tits are huge!! Did you get implants?" ( then start squeezing them)
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Huh?? Don't let someone assault you (pulling hair is an assault) and you just keep walking. No one should be putting their hands on your hair without permission so you need to check this person on that.
beans4reezy
Well-Known Member
Yes, I would contact HR. I would also let HR know that if it happens again, you'd be justified in having to defend yourself physically.
I don't care how long and pretty my hair is- it is nobody's right to put their hands in it; yet alone yank it!
beans4reezy
Well-Known Member
Yes, I can understand the curiosity other races my have for us; fine. The stupid, "Is that your real hair" questions are annoying and I feel inappriopriate, but you can at least ASK. Touching us is just so out of line! It just reminds me of the old slavery days when the purchasing "masters" would yank, pull, and tug, checking out the merchandise.
Real talk- do white women have to go through this crap?
erplexed
Tamster
New Member
Yes, I can understand the curiosity other races my have for us; fine. The stupid, "Is that your real hair" questions are annoying and I feel inappriopriate, but you can at least ASK. Touching us is just so out of line! It just reminds me of the old slavery days when the purchasing "masters" would yank, pull, and tug, checking out the merchandise.
Real talk- do white women have to go through this crap?
*cough* no *cough* and if they do it doesn't have the same implications or the same root or the same consequences.
*cough* read my post *cough*
kasey
Active Member
Yes, I can understand the curiosity other races my have for us; fine. The stupid, "Is that your real hair" questions are annoying and I feel inappriopriate, but you can at least ASK. Touching us is just so out of line! It just reminds me of the old slavery days when the purchasing "masters" would yank, pull, and tug, checking out the merchandise.
Real talk- do white women have to go through this crap?
No one asks a "Becky" if she is a natural blond, what color bleach she uses or where she bought her "extensions." This open season on AA women is getting outrageous and unacceptable.
Forgive me if I'm reading too much into this but I think that the belief that all AA women have "fake" hair also plays into the subliminal message that AA women have "fake" credentials and instead of being equally qualified are merely tolerated in the professional workplace. I hope that I am wrong.
teacherjess
New Member
These people need to go to personal space camp AND get some hometraining and manners. Insecure, ignant, hephas! SMDH
I am so sorry!!!
I am so sorry!!!
BostonMaria
Well-Known Member
Not for nothing Giselle, I've seen your hair and if I ever meet you I'm pulling it LOLOLOL j/k
Its so perdy!
Its so perdy!
gissellr78
New Member
you do have some beautiful hair! I wouldn't pull it but I'd be trying to look for tracks! LOL
lmao thanks i look too but pulling and asking is a no no
gissellr78
New Member
Thank you.The part that bothered me the most is that i know if i was light skinned this wouldn't be an issue. is because i am black
gissellr78
New Member
Oh girl i am sick of the weave question...i was actually thinking of getting kim kardashian waves...but am not daring lol
kmn1980
Emoticons don't affect me
Yes, I can understand the curiosity other races my have for us; fine. The stupid, "Is that your real hair" questions are annoying and I feel inappriopriate, but you can at least ASK. Touching us is just so out of line! It just reminds me of the old slavery days when the purchasing "masters" would yank, pull, and tug, checking out the merchandise.
Real talk- do white women have to go through this crap?
*cough* no *cough* and if they do it doesn't have the same implications or the same root or the same consequences.
*cough* read my post *cough*
True gospel. The Dred Scott conclusion still lives on in their hearts. What else would make them think it's okay to violate someone's personal space like that? As if brown people are the cattle and they are the farmer.
And before the "not all white people are like that" crowd comes in here with the cape on, read behind the words.
LittleLuxe
New Member
Lol, do you know what this is going to look like to men in the vincinity?
One woman walks by another woman and compliments her on her hair stroking her fingers through it or tugging on it lightly, the woman then turns around and starts fondling the other's breasts. Shucks, one of these days I know I'm gonna turn on the news and hear about you LHCF ladies on the news for one reason or another. Starting riots and stuff.
Also. I do believe there is some validation in what people are saying about white/black dynamics in regards to the hair pulling and such but let's not also exclude our own sisters going around doing the EXACT SAME THING. lol.
I'm not sure how it is for some of you ladies in your environments but quite honestly where I'm from once you see a black woman with hair past a certain length on her body there is NO doubt it's a weave. Hair is huge for us but to some ladies weaves are almost like an accessory, especially with all these idiotic candy colored skittles mess I see on women's heads now. Since I'm sure rae-rae wasn't born with lime green and neon pink bangs I'm going to guess it's a weave and apparently she has NO issues with the whole world knowing that. Same as how (when I had a weave) baby girl would shout clear from across a parking lot "Girl your weave is fine! Where'd you get it, how much it cost, ooh this is silky!" for everybody and their dog to hear while I try to duck under a parked car to save face, lol.
A lot of what white people think about us (not all) is supplied through mis-conceptions they SEE in the way we deal with eachother. I am just starting to study women's hair now wondering if it was or if it wasn't but 4 months ago you had BSL hair then you were wearing a weave period. I didn't need to check anyone because I know black women don't play that and my face is too pretty to be cut, lol. Now my eyes are open and I know better. And please...also have sympathy for our dear white friends...cause some are still in the dark.
I know I've got white friends who STILL don't know it was a weave back in the day and who will totally miss out on my Long Hair Glory because I'm not ready for that convo.
"...but you always had long hair."
"No sweetie that was a weave, it was fake hair"
"Wait. What? What do you mean it was fake??"
"...I purchased it. I did not grow it."
"...and you...grew this?"
"Oh yes! This is all mine!"
"......who's hair was it before?"
"Well you see Ming-Lee in Korea - "
Lol. Have pity on them ladies, and politely inform them touching a person without their permission is inviting a whole-sale a$$ whooping to descend on them like Kirstie Allie at a bake sale.
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havilland
Magical Mythical Princess
see!!!! i thought i was the only person that felt discriminated against when this happened.
i agree with you! it happens to me all the time at work!!!!! ugh
why can't my hair just be nice???
and why can't they stop being rude and minding my business???????????????!!!!!!!
i'm soooooooo sorry this happened to you. (on the up side i am glad your hair is that lovely that people feel the need to be rude.
)
stelladata
Active Member
Hmph this is something I get often, when I wear my hair out, sometimes even ppl I don't know talk ish.. one case got me so pissed, both of them were like " I don't know why black girls like wearing long *** weave like it's their hair"!!!!!! I was so tight! that I purposely parted my hair half up half down right on the bus like those little kid hair styles but you could clearly see the part ( I know, childish but that shut them up) .
I think at this point you have the right to call them out on ignorance like ' hoe.. just because you, your mamma and your auntie have no idea how to take care of their hair and it don't grow doesnt mean every other blk woman is like that"! I don't know. I would have been *****ing hard, it just makes them look stupid.
I think at this point you have the right to call them out on ignorance like ' hoe.. just because you, your mamma and your auntie have no idea how to take care of their hair and it don't grow doesnt mean every other blk woman is like that"! I don't know. I would have been *****ing hard, it just makes them look stupid.
justicefighter1913
New Member
OOOoooooh heck no!!! When did people get so ignorant? I mean seriously, do not touch me! That's assault! The funny thing about that is, people don't expect you to say anything back to them or do anything to them when they wanna act stupid like that.
Missigirl
New Member
This has only happened to me at church by a little old lady I have known all of my life, but she was still weave checking me and would have been glad to tell anyone who would listen if it had been a weave.
Since I have my own business and my hair is up in braides I don't have this problem at work. But when I was working for someone else ......I would let the person know they are in my 2 feet and I did not invite them in.
Since I have my own business and my hair is up in braides I don't have this problem at work. But when I was working for someone else ......I would let the person know they are in my 2 feet and I did not invite them in.
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