I give up for now....

[Impresaria]

Ladies....I don't know what I did wrong. But I have had it with the hair. The past 3 months has been completely downhill for me. My hair starting breaking all over from when I had ovelapped in the past (before finding this board). The hair at my nape has now broken off to about 3 to 4 inches shorter than the hair above it. The crown has short patches here and there. I don't like what I see at all. I have been religious (okay, maybe semi-religious) about my regime, but past abuse has finally caught up with me. I really think that I am going to get a serious chop this weekend. I loved my hair when it was short, so I can deal....I would rather have a nice short do than jacked-up-trying-to-be- long hair...check my last updated pics to see what I'm talking about.
Hair pics

 

[melodee]

SpicedTee,
Sorry to hear about your frustrations. Although I don't want to to "give up" completely, I must say that taking a break from the pressure of growing long tresses is a good idea. Your hair will grow on its own, and being overly concerned about it is stressful. You don't need the stress. You can come away from this right now knowing the proper way of caring for your hair, even if you're not diligent about it. I believe that in a few months(at most), you'll be ready to join us again.

 

[Miosy]

Hi

Girl, I must tell you "DON'T Give Up". Your hair looks healthy. U may need to change your regime. What exactly are you doing with your hair everyday? Relaxer, Shampoos, Conditoner, Daily products, how do you sleep, do you blow dry, curling irons, etc.... Let's try to solve the problem first.

 

[honeycomb719]

You come to far to be talkin about giving up now. SpicedT, I feel your pain girlfriend, but you got to keep on pressing toward the mark hunny. I have my days too, when I want to through in the towel, but I can't, I won't, and same for you hun.
Just stop lookin at in for a few days. Do a ponytail or something to let this faze your in past. Then, after that hair do is worn, then see how your feelin about your hair. I'm sure the mood will be lifted by then.
This usually helps me, when I'm havin the "hairblues". I'm not where I thought I would be by now, but I'm far from where I've been. And, me lookin at your pics I see your hair has made some progress.
I'll trade mine for yours, LOL. Sike, just trying to lighten the mood. Cheer up girly, things will be lookin better soon. Just dont do anything drastic out of disappointment.

You'll be o.k.

 

[Nyambura]

[ QUOTE ]
I must say that taking a break from the pressure of growing long tresses is a good idea. Your hair will grow on its own, and being overly concerned about it is stressful. You don't need the stress.

[/ QUOTE ]

SpicedTee,
Sorry to hear the news.

I agree with Melodee: don't give up hope but give yourself a break for now.

I think too much stress is bad for the hair (and for the spirit! - I know when I look at the length I want my hair ultimately to be, instead of looking at how much growth I've attained since starting the haircare journey, I get frustrated

).

With patience and persistence, I believe we can attain longer hair than we've ever had before.

Good luck!

 

[AngieK]

<font color="brown">SpicedTee,

I don't actually think your hair looks too bad. Yes, there is some breakage in the nape, but a few good trims will even everything back up. An inverted blunt style could actually disguise the breakage as it grows out. With an inverted style, the hair is cut in such a way that the back is a little shorter than the hair that hangs on the shoulders (it hangs at a slight angle). It takes weight off the back and provides fullness in that area. Meanwhile, you get to keep most of your length, and you hair will still have some shape. As it grows out, you can continue with this style until the breakage areas are gone, and then you can rebalance the cut by letting the back hang as long as the sides.

AngieK </font>

 

[Lucia]

Spicetee,
Hold on a minute and breathe, I looked at your pic's and I didn't see anything so bad that you need to chop it all off.
Unfortunatelly what's done is done but you can get hair back into shape gradually, I would say though if you are having problems b/c of past abuse you can start by getting regular trimms of 1/4-1/2 inch every 2 months. Then I would reccomend going over your current haircare/vitamin(if you're not taking some maybe consider doing so just do a search) regime to see what may be agrevating your hair. You may be using too many products, not the right ones, or not enough for your hair needs right now.
I would suggest a protein reconstructor like Aphogee or Aubrey Organics, you must follow this with a balancing/moisterizing CON to soften the hair and return proper pH.
You definitely are going to need to deep condition on top of the protein treatments more often like every week, under a heat cap or a hot wet towel(acts like steamer), and stay away from hair dryers,flat/curling irons etc...
hth

 

[SingingStar12]

I am sorry your routine didn't work for you... I know how you feel with the breakage. I discovered my breakage last year, and with less stress on my hair and less heat, I have less split ends and breakage. My suggestion is to trim a little off of your ends a month, like maybe a centimeter to a 1/2 of an inch, so it won't be as darastic to you and you won't miss your hair so much. Also your hair will begin to look thicker. That's what I've done and it works quite well. No matter what you decide to do for your hair, please be calm and relaxed, and I reassure you that it will grow back quicker than you thought it would

 

[DatJerseyDyme]

DON'T GIVE UP..I'm having a similiar problem (with breakage around the hairline though) and I just keep telling myself that it was from is wasn't treating my hair properly so of course it isn't going to be as long as the rest of my hair. Try to find a hairstyle that conceals it until it grows out! Try to find the root of the problem because if you don't, when you grow your hair out again, chances are you are going to have the same problems...I feel your pain girl!

 

[melodee]

Spiced,
I forgot to mention that your hair looks okay to me. I know that length is hard to maintain, but this is the toughest part of the grow out process. Once you get down past the shoulders, you'll be cruisin'. I say don't cut, but just don't WORRY!( as we tend to do here!)

 

[serena]

[ QUOTE ]
I would rather have a nice short do than jacked-up-trying-to-be- long hair

[/ QUOTE ]

Your hair doesn't look jacked-up to me. Ok, so your ends ain't perfect - neither are mine. But yours certainly don't look bad enough to merit a serious chop, in my opinion.

 

[ineedmoney]

okay i know that you are a little discouraged but don't give up. though your lengths are funny you hair is stil very pretty. maybe you just need a break. have you considered maybe a weave or ponytail? this way you hair can be stored away and it can have time to grow untouched. don't just chop it all off. keep the faith.

 

[YuNg]

i feel your pain spicetee i give up too im thinking about cutting my hair short. I see all these boys that grow there hair effortlessly and i've been trying to grow my hair out way before them they catch up with me in 2 months. Thats sad everyday i hear "damn your hair been that length since 8th grade"

 

[miss_brown]

[ QUOTE ]
[ QUOTE ]
I would rather have a nice short do than jacked-up-trying-to-be- long hair

[/ QUOTE ]

Your hair doesn't look jacked-up to me. Ok, so your ends ain't perfect - neither are mine. But yours certainly don't look bad enough to merit a serious chop, in my opinion.

[/ QUOTE ]

Ditto

I think that a serious cut should be your last resort. Everyone's giving you great advice - styling alternatives, small trims, protein/moisturizing conditioners. Please try some of these before doing anything drastic. Good luck and be encouraged.

 

[adrienne0914]

i agree with what everyone else is saying!! i don't think your hair looks as bad as you think it is. if you get a cut, get a TRIM to even up the ends a little. but don't get a big chop!! it just makes your goal that much farther away.

it may seem like yours is the only hair with issues, but believe me, it's not. we all struggle with different issues at one time or another. cutting your hair alot will not solve anything. and i'm sorry, but i i don't see the jacked up hair that you're talking about!! PLEASE keep trying and listen to the advice that's been given here. we're here for you!!

 

[Crysdon]

It doesn't look as bad as you say. Get a trim and have your stylist cut your hair into a bob type style. That will help the nape catch up with the rest of your hair.

 

[Bellatrix]

I agree with the others. It really doesn't look that bad at all.

You don't need to do a big chop.

 

[dontspeakdefeat]

My hair sista please...Don't Speak Defeat! I too recently suffered with a breakage problem after I took my braids out. My hair was extra tangled in the back and I had to cut through some of the tangles therefore causing the back area to be uneven. I did a healthy trim of about 1 inch and decided to wear my hair in proctective styles to keep it from drying and breaking.

I would like to say to you that even though you are not liking your hair they way it is now it is not as bad as it seems. Your hair looks really good for someone who is experiencing hair setbacks. We all have them from time to time but if we chop our hair off everytime we have a setback then our goals will never be met! Instead of cutting off your hair get a nice trim of no more than one inch and just start figuring out exactly what you hair wants and needs.

Remember moisture and more moisture.

Good Luck to you and please keep up updated!

 

[sassygirl125]

I agree, too. No need for a big chop. Just have the back cut a little to give you that beveled bob look while your hair evens out.

 

[aqualung]

I wouldn't chop if I were you. The setback is just temporary. If I were you:

1. I'd put my hair away for a while. I'd get my hair cornrowed down and put in latch hooked braided extensions and forget about it for 1.5 months. No touch ups, no manipulation. Moisturize with S-curl or liquid leave in.
OR
2. I'd go on one of the bun challenges and wear it up daily til the holidays. Only take it down to wash and moisturize.

Sweetpea says that hair grows while you're not stressing over it. I believer her.

 

[garr6982]

SpicedT

Your hair looks great!

I think we all have our days of frustration but that's all part of the process! Recognize the stress your hair is putting you through and just re-focus for a minute. You are making progress!

 

[Impresaria]

I love yall....dang....

Everytime I need a pick-me-up you all are right here with the right answers. I pampered the tresses last night and when I woke up this morning and read all of the replies, I was like "this is not as bad as it looks". I have to admit that I am obsessed right now with my hair, health, weight, life...and so on, and when I am going through a life change the first thing I want to do is cut my hair off. The advice given is great, I need to step back, re-evaluate, step away from the scissors (and the scale) and re-commit. I have decided to go back to the tried and true for me.....rollers sets and buns. I really need to get a good miosturizing shampoo to help with the dryness. And a good moisturizer too. Any suggestions?

 

[AmilLion]

[ QUOTE ]
I love yall....dang....

Everytime I need a pick-me-up you all are right here with the right answers. I pampered the tresses last night and when I woke up this morning and read all of the replies, I was like "this is not as bad as it looks". I have to admit that I am obsessed right now with my hair, health, weight, life...and so on, and when I am going through a life change the first thing I want to do is cut my hair off. The advice given is great, I need to step back, re-evaluate, step away from the scissors (and the scale) and re-commit. I have decided to go back to the tried and true for me.....rollers sets and buns. I really need to get a good miosturizing shampoo to help with the dryness. And a good moisturizer too. Any suggestions?

[/ QUOTE ]

I feel your pain SpicedTee. For a minute, I was experiencing tremedous shedding (I recently came off Birth Control pills). The Shedding is slowing down, but not to a rate that I am comfortable with. Though my hair did not grow as long as I was hoping for this year, I still have hope. Rather than having expectations to reach in 12 months, I'm working on 3 month intervals.

 

[Tracy]

I am SO glad you decided against a cut.

I just took a look at your pics and said: "Her hair looks fine!"

You're gon be a'right girl! ANd your hair looks fine....promise. Do a small trim, put it up and forget about it for a while.

Your hard work WILL pay off.

 

[Islandgirl]

Don't cut it! This same predicament happened to me last year, my hair broke off completely from a relaxer application on the left side of my head, and my hair in the back fell out overtime because the hairdresser wasn't rinsing out the relaxer from my nape properly. And girl, i cut my hair last year to my the bottom of my ears, and I regret it (the hairdresser talked me into to doing it, i figured she knew what was right blah blah blah). i have learned since coming to this board that protein strengthens. So what have i done for the past six months? Wore my hair in styles that hid the short hair (i usually pinned up my hair or i wore rollersets), and this has helped tremendously. how i know this? because of the hair has grown out. And i have done protein treatments every other week followed up with moisturizing. and i deep condition every time, and constantly moisturize. its not the same length of the rest of the hair, but its growing. and your nape isn't as bad as mine from the accident (mine wasn't even an inch long).

you can do it, don't cut it!

 

[Nyambura]

[ QUOTE ]
I really need to get a good miosturizing shampoo to help with the dryness. And a good moisturizer too. Any suggestions?

[/ QUOTE ]

SpicedTee,
I'm glad you've decided not to chop off what progress you've achieved with your hair.

During my first year of my haircare journey, I focused on nursing my hair back to health (I know hair is dead but you get what I mean). I really liked using <font color="brown"> Aubrey Organics' J.A.Y. (jojoba, aloe, and yucca) Desert Herb Shampoo.</font> It required my using an atypical method for shampoo but my hair and scalp seemed happier. The results were cumulative: the more I used it, the better my hair became. I used the J.A.Y. shampoo in combination with <font color="brown"> Aubrey Organics' G.P.B. (glycogen protein balancer) Conditioner. </font> These two products helped turn my hair around from brittle, fly-away, see-through hair into strong, moisturized, thicker hair (although taking pantothenic acid definitely added to the thickness). I bought the AO products at Whole Foods.

I'm also a fan of the Elucence line. Elucence Products

Others have found great luck with Pantene products and other relatively inexpensive, more available lines like Creme of Nature. As for moisturizers, I like rinsing my hair with distilled water and sealing my ends with oil (castor is still my fave right now). Others have loved S-Curl No Drip and other jherri curl activators for long-lasting moisture. My hair used to do fine with them but then rebelled.

These are all options for you to explore (and there are many, many more products raved about on this Board).

As with all things on this Board though, mileage may vary. You'll have to experiment to see which products/combinations work for you.

Hang in there!