I FELL off the COURTSHIP wagon....

[brownsugarflyygirl]

As you all know/may remember, I was very passionate about the importance of a time of singleness and not dating but rather following a courtship model. Well for two years, I didnt date and just focused on myself and my relationship with God...and it was a beautiful time.

So towards the end of my second year, I got involved in a courtship but decided after four months that he was not the one for me and ended it...great experience...no hard feelings.

But then....it seemed like once I opened that door when guys approached me to express interest instead of being like I would be like why not? Only to look up and realize that I was just dating

So anyways....I know I had high standards as I only entertained one offer in over two years...but I just got tired of constantly saying no and was like if I keep saying no...how will it ever happen...I should be more open-minded

Anyways, now Im trying to get back into the courtship mindset....and not wasting my time dating people who aren't ready to be a husband. I think Im going to employ a three question test...

1- Do you have an active relationship with God and are you currently actively attending a church?

2- Are you currently gainfully employed (preferably with a salary equal or greater than mine) and living independently?

3- Am I physically attracted to you?

If the answer to no to any of the above, I think Im going to have to say no from now on...because otherwise...there is no grounds for a courtship.

Thoughts ladies?

 

[Cleve_gryl]

I agree with you. I'm not going to be out here dating just to be dating. It ends up being a waste of my precious time. I am very interested in marriage and a family, and if the man is not then why even bother wasting either of your time?

I met a man at church and I knew he'd been interested in me for a long time. So, we began chatting on the phone for a while. He eventually told me he's not interested in having any children in the future. Okay, see ya!! I appreciated his honesty because we clearly didn't have the same goals for the future and it would have been bad later on if we did begin "courting" without that knowledge up front....I feel the same way about other goals in life as well.

 

[Shimmie]

You are a walking, breathing testimony BrownSugarFlyGirl. Without the challenge, you would not be encouraging others, as you have chosen.

My reply..."No Conterfeits" Our Jesus is not a counterfeit God, neither should we settle for counterfeit husbands.

It's Deal or no Deal, we accept what's Real...

Love and blessings,

 

[SEMO]

In understand your commitment to courtship. I read a great book on it ("Choosing God's Best") and so I understand where your coming from. But I also think it's an issue of semantics. I think courtship and "dating with a purpose" are different terms for the same thing. In both situations you enter it with the mindset of evaluating whether or not this person is husband material (and not "just kicking it" to pass time).

Don't lower your standards though, I know you will find the right one.