The first thing you have to do is get on your knees and speak to God. Pray that youll have the strength to rededicate your life to Him. You need to do this. If we don't accept Jesus as our SAVIOR
and LORD, then we can't go anywhere else.
Then you need to thank Him for everything He has done for you, and just for His overflowing love. Thank HIM for EVERYTHING - even for the tribulations.
Things will get better. But the first step is praying. Pray for faith if you need to, pray for strength and diligence. I also feel like you need to confess your sins. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you in prayer. Often times we don't even know what sin we're doing that's getting us in the way of what God has in store for us. And other times we do and we ignore it. Both are bad.
I also think you should think about seeing someone, maybe a Christian therapist or a pastor. Are you going to church? I feel like you're going to have to do a whole life turn around; but take it one day at a time. Just one day at a time.
See the awesome thing about God is He is ALWAYS there and sometimes He uses our sin to show how merciful and loving He is. Because as soon as things ge rough, we start getting
really hungry for Him, right. We get so lost and confused when He's not first in our lives because that's how it ought to be.
So my challenge to you is to make Him first tonight, tomorrow, etc...just one day at a time. God is so awesome He will speak to you. I also encourage you to read the Bible if you want online:
www.biblegateway.com --> you can look up words, study the Bible dail
http://www.rbc.org/odb/odb.shtml --> refreshes daily with short stories, Bible verses, and testimonials
http://www.valorieburton.com/ --> subscribe to the newsletter, read links etc
Also this online stuff is great but are you part of a church community? A good ministry where you can be taught, teach, and have fellowship. That's reallllly important.
I would also begin practicing journaling and exercising. I was in a rut in November of '06 and I can attest that all of the above things have helped me. I can say that I am over that hump now and if you saw me in Nov '06, you'd understand how big of a deal that is. Let me tell you I do not boast in me but in Christ Jesus because He is the king, Lord, Savior....He can and WILL bring you through this. The first step is redication...
I'll probably update this tomorrow with some scriptures. In the meantime:
2 Corinthians 12:7-10
7To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. 8Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. 9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me. 10That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.
1 Corinthians 1:26-31
26Brothers, think of what you were when you were called. Not many of you were wise by human standards; not many were influential; not many were of noble birth. 27But God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise; God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong. 28He chose the lowly things of this world and the despised things—and the things that are not—to nullify the things that are, 29so that no one may boast before him. 30It is because of him that you are in Christ Jesus, who has become for us wisdom from God—that is, our righteousness, holiness and redemption. 31Therefore, as it is written: "Let him who boasts boast in the Lord."[
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I pray that you may see how great and vast and deep the love of Jesus Christ is, I pray for your family and for your health; for your faith and for your self-love. I pray for your love for Christ and your obedience in Him. I pray that you may be the woman that HE wants you to be, whether or not it's exactly what you may think you want. God has a much bigger and better plan for you.
*I'm sorry if this was long or for I had any typos, I'm just really moved by your post...May God bless you. =)
**Okay I feel like at times like this God is about to do something big so just get yourself ready. He wants you to be in a better position so you can receive His blessings. He's telling you trust in Him and to live for Him, so that you can open a new chapter.****