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I feel a lil' embarassed...

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Jim

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I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Hi! Sorry to drop in...I'm a white Male...47 years old, and, I need some SERIOUS help with my hair! (Keep it long....Unmanageable..) Wonder if any of you ladies might have ANY ideas that could help me...
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

We will certainly try. Please tell us a little about what you do now, and what your problems are. There are a lot of knowledgeable ladies and gentlemen here who can help!! And welcome!!
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Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Hi Marla!
Thanks so much for relying so soon! A lil' bit about me. Have had problems with my hair since I could "almost" run a comb thru it. Most of my younger years it was cut short due to catholic School. Because of personal preferences, I choose to keep it long, shoulder length or longer, but, most of the time, just keep it tid back in a ponytail. Have tried, I think EVERY OTC product availablr...(Frizz Ease...You name it..) Blow dried for hours...For the times I'd like it straight. Had it Relaxed a few years ago...HORROR..It seems as though what most of you use works...I'm in your hands...
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Is your problem keeping it straight? Or do you have a breakage/thinning problem? What type of hair do you have? If you don't know, go to the entrance page and click on hair types. At least I think that's the page! DUH!! It may be the Home page! Sorry!!
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Hi Bellydancer!
Totally new to this, and, not sure if you can read my other Post, but I'm a a TOTAL loss with my hair, and, before I decide to cut it all off...(I'd never do that..) Was looking for some kind of ideas how I could try to straighten it somewhat. (Don't laugh, but, a former girlfriend of mine once set it for me...LIKED the results, although, they were short lived...)
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Wavy...Curly...with Frizz...(Try and think of Kenny G on a BAD hair day...)
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

What happened with the relaxer?

Have you tried using conditoner as a leave in?

I know some girls have had success with using Henna to control their hair. I've never used it but you can read the Henna thread and see some of their comments.

I'm a fan of Sebastian Wet personally to control frizz.

But tell us more about how the relaxer was a disaster.
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Jim, what's your regimen? How often do you wash your hair? What shampoos do you use? Do you use conditioner? How long do you leave conditioner on before rinsing? Did you say you straighten with heat (forgive me I misunderstood; I'm tired and my memory's behaving like a sieve)? How often do you use heat on your hair? Is the frizz just mainly at the ends or throughout your hair strands? Is your hair dry or oily? Do you take any supplements? Does your hair break easily and how does it feel when you touch it? (My last question is trying to establish if you are just after a nice shiny smooth Pantene-ad-like look, or if you are also looking to improve its texture.)

I'm just about to head off to bed, but your answers will definitely give people an idea of what your hair might need so you should get a few guidelines shortly. I'll stop by tomorrow and see if I can add anything. And hey, don't be embarrassed. I think you're very smart to seek help.
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Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

"Wow"!!!
"Thanks" for all the replies! I try not to shampoo to often...every other day..I'll try and switch from shampoo to shampoo as I've heard sticking with one product too long is not good for your hair. (An Old Wive's tale?) I'll use anything that states it's for dry hair. The relaxer? Caused "major" breakage..split ends..almost got to the point of shaving it all off then, but, I'm determined to see if I can finally get this right...Don't really know what to do, which is why, I guess I'm here. I don't care what it takes...what it costs..I'm really just looking for some feedback as to what others might have tried, and just might work..."Thanks" again for all your help and replies!!! I'll try and fix my settings with an e-mail address..
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Hi Jim,
Many ladies here do a daily conditioner wash, followed by a weekly shampoo wash. I do a weekly shampoo wash (creme of nature .. it's a good detangler), condition with a protein conditioner (Joico kpac deep penetrating reconstructor), deep condition with a moisturising conditioner (still in the market for an excellent one) and when my hair dries, I add Redken's extreme anti-snap leave in conditioner and get no frizz whatsoever. The key is experimentation. What works for others might work for you, but again might not.
Good luck
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Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Jim, I'll tell you what I've learnt about hair care in the last few months.

- There are 3 things hair must have: moisture, moisture, moisture.
- Heat is not my friend. This means even hot water (which I loved with a passion BTW) isn't good for my hair.
- Water is my friend and is another term for moisture; so now I wash my hair AT LEAST twice a week - often more.
- If I can keep my hair from losing moisture, it'll look and feel better, and it'll be less prone to breaking.
- Hair undergoes natural wear and tear but you can keep it from getting weak by regular strengthening treatments with protein.
- The less you manipulate your hair, the less it gets worn.
- Patience is a prerequisite to having healthy hair. Patience when handling it; patience while waiting to see improvement; patience while waiting for the length you see seek.
- LHCF is an altar to which you can bring any problems whatsoever and someone's bound to know a solution.


I don't know what shampoo you use but I highly recommend Creme of Nature Shampoo (Says "detangling and conditioning" on the bottle). Not only does this leave my hair feeling soft and smooth, but it also seems to intensify the color (my hair is black but not that deep midnight shiny black, but CON seems to make it appear a lot darker so it shines better).

Do you have a hood dryer at home? You will need one for conditioning although there are alternatives which I will mention shortly. You will also need plastic caps or Saran wrap. You may not need to do this every time you wash your hair, but I do. Basically, I apply conditioner to my damp hair, put on a cap or wrap my hair with Saran wrap, then sit under a warm dryer for about 20 minutes. One thing I like the Saran wrap for is I can bend forward and hang my head down so that my hair remains straight, then wrap my hair mummy-style till it's completely covered. I then let the tip fall over or I tuck it under at the nape. The reason for using heat when conditioning is that it opens up the cuticle of your hair allowing the conditioner to penetrate your hair. This is especially important if you are doing a protein treatment. Do a search on the forum for conditioners to get an idea of which ones have worked for people and how. That may help you decide on a good conditioner. You don't have to spend a lot of money right away. Many companies can send you samples to try out before you actually invest in a bottle. Lekair Cholesterol (there's an green one and orange one) can be found at your grocery store and costs about $3.00. Many people on the board use it as a deep conditioner and there have been raves about it. You might try that. If you don't have a dryer, just put on a cap and wrap your head with a warm towel or just anything that'll cause your head to feel warm. The idea is to create warmth that'll raise your hair cuticles. You could even just wear a cap and bask in the sun and let that be your source of warmth.

When you rinse off your conditioner, use as cool a temperature of water as you can stand. This is not only good for preventing split ends but it helps your cuticle seal in the goodness of the conditioner. Rinse well. As a final rinse, I highly recommend a few drops of Apple Cider Vinegar (if your hair is dark) or just White Vinegar (if you're blond) in distilled water. That'll give your hair a lovely healthy shine and remove any residue you might have. I like to give my scalp a good massage in a basin of the solution so I can be sure no residue of products is left on my scalp which could clog pores or cause itches.

Now I don't use a towel at all to dry my hair but you can tell if you need to use one depending on how much water your hair is dripping when you're done. You don't want to get yourself all soaked but you do want to leave as much water on your hair as you can. Coz we want to try and trap as much of this moisture as possible. This is when you add a moisturizer or an oil to trap the water. A search for moisturizers will give you ideas. I'm currently having fun with natural oils (jojoba, coconut, avocado -- sometimes mixed, but usually I use just one of them. I've even got my BF hooked on jojoba
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). I apply them when my hair is wet. I do mix some essential oils in when I use them, but it's not essential (no pun intended). You can use the oils just on their own. Why I pick those oils is because they are light and are known to penetrate hair so they don't just sit on your hair. Hence they give shine without a greasy feeling. (CAUTION: I understand that for Caucasians the oils (even jojoba which is the lightest of the three oils) can feel very greasy so go easy on it.) Here's a simple recipe for a daily treatment if you decide to use natural oils:

[ QUOTE ]
Daily Hair Treatment
This treatment is for use every day on all hair types. The non-greasy oils will be absorbed into the hair shaft and will keep the hair smooth, glossy and healthy.

3 teaspoons lavender oil
2 teaspoons rosemary oil
1/2 teaspoon jojoba oil
To make: Mix together in a small bottle. Shake to blend.
To use: Put a few drops on the palm of your hand. Rub your hands together and then rub through your hair.

[/ QUOTE ]
Source: http://www.neryspurchon.com/recipes/haircare1.html

To me that ratio of carrier oil (jojoba) to essential oils seemed wrong since I believe only a few drops of EO are needed in any mixture, so I wrote to the people that own the website to ask why they use more essential oil then carrier oil in their recipe and whether that wouldn't be too strong on the senses. They wrote back to say that the recipe works for Caucasian hair and that since you only use a small amount from that mixture, you do wind up using only a few drops of the EOs. They explained that from their experience, jojoba was too greasy if used in large quantities. They have some pretty good recipes there and actually the entire website is a pleasure to read so do look around. Oh and I know a white lady that uses jojoba as a hot oil pre-shampoo treatment so you could try that if you find it too greasy to use as a leave-in, even in that recipe. But if your hair is as dry as afro hair, then you might just try my way and use only a few drops of the EO and enough of the carrier oil to cover the hair. But make sure you hair is wet before you apply the oils. Think of them as a sealant holding in moisture which is the water. If the oils don't work for you, I suggest you try the frizz ease serums like John Frieda one more time. After a deep conditioning, and an vinegar rinse, you might see a difference. I don't know if you usually apply a frizz ease serum when your hair is wet, but make sure you do. If you've rinsed with cold water and especially distilled or ACV solution, and then you apply the serum on wet hair and let it air dry, I think your hair will appear smoother. What conditioners and serums do is coat your hair so the cuticles lie flat and they also reduce static on your hair give it a smooth appearance. Even damaged hair can look better with that coating. If after following this procedure your ends still look frizzy, they may be so damaged that only a trim will help. Check out this website. There is a lot of info there that will help you understand your hair better and so you will be better equipped to figure out what your hair needs are. You don't have to read through the entire website to get the info you need. You can just jump to the chapters of interest from that page.

I know all this has addressed just the frizz but not removing the curls...if you're aiming for a straight look. I will let those with relaxed hair address that issue coz they know better. I don't know if wraps are safe to do on wet hair so I'll let the veterans help with that. I do know that Lanza ( www.lanza.com ) have a line called Strait Line Formula that is supposed to give a temporary straight look. I'm not sure what the chemistry behind that is but perhaps you could give them a call and have someone explain. They do send samples so if you email them your addy or call them and ask for samples, specifying which ones you want to try, they will send them to you.

I'm sorry to have written a novel (bet no one warned you about me, huh?), but I do hope something in all that babbling helps. Of course, I'm being very optimistic in my assumption that you managed to read this far without falling asleep.
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Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

[ QUOTE ]
"Wow"!!!
"Thanks" for all the replies! I try not to shampoo to often...every other day..I'll try and switch from shampoo to shampoo as I've heard sticking with one product too long is not good for your hair. (An Old Wive's tale?) I'll use anything that states it's for dry hair. The relaxer? Caused "major" breakage..split ends..almost got to the point of shaving it all off then, but, I'm determined to see if I can finally get this right...Don't really know what to do, which is why, I guess I'm here. I don't care what it takes...what it costs..I'm really just looking for some feedback as to what others might have tried, and just might work..."Thanks" again for all your help and replies!!! I'll try and fix my settings with an e-mail address..

[/ QUOTE ]

Jim, maybe part of your problem is the consistent washing of your hair everyday. Your hair may not like SLS (Sodium Lauryl Sulfate) and this can cause drying which can result in damaged, dry, splitting hair.

As someone suggested, try condition washes. You basically wash your hair with a mild moisturizing conditioner.
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Welcome to the forum, no need to feel embarrassed...it's all good here...
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Welcome Jim, glad to have you
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...the ladies here have given you plenty of advice and I hope some of it works for you. Definitely try a milder shampoo and a nice moisturizing conditioner to combat the frizz. Always protect your hair with a nice dimethicone product (smoothing agent, look at the ingredients list) and heat protectant (Paul Mitchell makes a good one) before blow drying and this will give you great results.

Take Care
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

I can't talk too much right now...(@ Work..) but, I just want to say "Thank you" to everyone's who's been kind enough to either give suggestions, or, just say Hi! At first, I was a little leary about posting here, but, you all have made me feel right @ home! I'll write more tonight..."Thanks" ladies!!!!!
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Welcome to the board Jim and I hope you enjoy this board as much as everyone else does.
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Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Welcome Jim!!
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I'm sure you'll get all the advice you can handle here and become an addict like the rest of us
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Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

"Thanks"!!! I "KNOW"!!! Even though I should be busy at work, I've spent most of the day reading almost "every" post on here! I never thought I'd say this, but, I am actually looking forward to start working with my hair! It's sounds like it will be fun, and, can't wait to see what kind of results I may get! I just envy you ladies who are fortunate enough to get yours done at those Dominican salons I've read so much about! I'll write much more tonight-
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Hi, Jim, and welcome to the LHCF!

You may wish to check out a book entitled Hair Rules. It offers some really good tips for folks with the type of hair and hair issues we encounter. I am sure that you will find it useful.

However, I see that you have received gallons of advice from many knowledgeable ladies!

northernbelle
 
Re: I feel a lil\' embarassed...

Welcome to the board Jim.
Flahssssss.gif

No need to be embarrased. It's better to find a solution to your hair woes than to have no hair at all. I've found great support here
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