I Don't Want To Go To Church Anymore... (Vent)

[Poohbear]

Hi, Pooh,

I hope things work out well for you...please stay encouraged in the Lord and try not to lean unto your own understanding. I agree with Shimmie this isn't your dad's doing but a trick by the enemy to discourage you from going to Church.

Please don't let how you feel get you caught up in the "the holier-than-though" rhetoric. That's just a tool for the enemy. Something else is going on here and I ask that you seek God's face concerning your place in that church. I believe your faith is being tested.

It's very clear you love your dad and he loves you. What I think he's done is put you on a pedastal and that's not fair to you. People tend to do that sometimes, when they see you trying your best to live the life God wants you to live. Nothing you do will be good enough.

Stay encouraged, sis!

Thanks Laela. I'm trying to trust in the Lord with all my heart, mind, and soul. The situation with my father is discouraging me from going to church big time. I just had to vent about it here. I'm tired of holding it in. And I certainly don't feel "holier-than-thou". I know that I sin and fall short of God's glory at times. All Christians do. And I also believe my faith is being tested as well. Everytime my dad speaks against me, it just makes me seek His word and read my Bible even more. See, y'all don't understand. My dad uses the Bible to fit his agenda. He'll twist the Word of God to fit his own opinions. I don't know how else to explain it but I know it's not right. And he uses the Bible to intimidate and force people to do what he wants them to do. And when he doesn't get his way from people, he either gets mad, frustrated, starts gossiping to other people about them and even judges their salvation. And I was talking to my sister about this and I think you're right about him putting me on this so-called pedestal. Anything I do is not good enough. And I feel like if I give in even more to what he wants me to do, he will get even more unappreciative and more controlling and I will lose myself in the process and my relationship with God will suffer.

 

[Poohbear]

GV, the real love and support for Poohbear comes not from speaking ill of her Father. The words we speak about him, good or bad, fall back upon Poohbear. A spiritual principle has been put into action here and we have to be very careful about that which we speak.

The two of them are spiritually connected and tied to one another. We have no idea what God has pruposed for Poohbear in connection to her Father and his ministry.

Poohbear is speaking from hurt of which we have no knowledge of it's spiritual connection to her relationship with her Father. There's a lot going on here and before I set my words against this man, I have to remember that they are also set against Poohbear.

It's just that serious. When satain goes after the 'head', he also seeks to destroy their seed, their off spring. Each of us who love Poohbear, will love her Father too, and pray for him with a full heart and not speak one word of evil against him.

Going to another Church is not healing the hurts between them. They both need our love and prayers. And i'm not saying that she should or should not attend another Church, that's between her and the Holy Spirit. But 'solely' leaving is not going to be the resolution. They Both need our love and prayers.

As for him being associated with a cult... NO ! He may be speaking of things disagreeable, but he is not a cult. This is her father, and it's up to us to encourage her for what God has called her to; which is to be reconciled to him in the fullness of love and God's peace.

No one in this thread has a right to speak negative about her Dad. Although she shouldn't, only She 'can', but they can't. It's her Father and if we love her, we'll respect him as such, no matter what has been shared. :Rose:

I haven't seen anyone speak negatively about my father in this thread. Only I have. I am venting and expressing what he has done and how I feel about him and how his words and actions have affected me spiritually as well as emotionally and psychologically. I cannot deny how I feel. And if you really want to know something, I'm not the only person that has felt this way about him and the church. And not just my immediate family either. There have been church members that have left the church because of certain issues. It's not just me, and it's not just us. And it's not like I said my dad is Satan or anything. My dad is saying that about me.

And Shimmie, I wasn't born yesterday and I'm not stupid or uneducated. I have a spirit of discernment about motives and agendas and opinions and attitudes or whatever. If I feel like the church is cult, that's how I feel. Even my brother has said the same thing. Even my cousins who came in town from Michigan said the same thing. And I didn't even provoke them to say it. They noticed it themselves without me even saying one word about my sentiments.

Talking about my father just happens to be the main issue with my spiritual well-being since he is my father and my pastor at the current moment. Maybe Satan is attacking both of us, but at the same time, God is the one who is in control and will have the victory in this situation whether I stay at this church or go to another one. I know one thing for sure, I'm not about to stay there for the sake of pleasing my father. I'm a Christian that has spiritual needs as well.

 

[Poohbear]

GV-NA-GI-TLV-GE-I

Thank you for your posts! You are right.

And I haven't shared anything in private with Shimmie about anything regarding this issue with the church and my father.

Even if this man was not my father, I would feel the same way.

Plus, I don't feel this church is a fit for me in other areas too. For instance, there are no other people I can really relate to that are my age in that church except for my brother and sister. Everyone else is either much older or much younger. Yes, I know you can relate to people of different ages but I feel like it's important to have Christians from your church that you can fellowship with outside of the church.

Plus, there are other things that have gone wrong in our church with other members and our family that I have had problems with. It's not just my dad, however, he is the main issue as far as my spiritual well-being and my role in the church. And yes, I know all churches have their problems or whatnot. I am the type of person that can forgive, let go, and let God, but I am human and I do have a tolerance level and I have a mind and an intuition of my own.

 

[Prudent1]

Poohbear,
I am and have been praying for your situation. Keep seeking God concerning all things. He will answer you. I pray it will be soon. This is avery delicate and sensitive situation. Keep seeking God...

 

[GodsPromises]

Pooh,

My quite response is: It's time to find a new church home.

Now for the drawn out response: Sometimes in order to grow and mature in Christ we need to change where we are. Now this has nothing really to do with your Father, maybe just maybe the Lord is using this situation to get you out of your comfort zone in order to move you to where He wants you. I agree that you need to heal your relationship with your father but at the same time you must continue to grow in Chirst and if you are feeling that you can't in the location that you are in then it's may just be time to relocate to do God's will. You can't do his work in the state that you are in right now, trust me I know.

Pray that the Lord will show you where He wants you and then you need to go where He says go. It sounds to me that you know what you need to do but you are torn between growing and saying loyal to your father, because the only reason you are staying there at that church is because you are living at home and your loyalty to your dad. Stay in prayer, sis. He will never lead you astray.

 

[Poohbear]

These two online articles explain a little bit of what I've been going through:

http://eaandfaith.blogspot.com/2007/03/how-to-spot-religious-abuse.html

http://www.spiritwatch.org/relabdef.htm

 

[MSee]

Pooh I understand what you are going through. I've had a simillar experience but the Pastor is not my relative. I kept saying touch not the Lords anointed and obey those in athority over you etc. Then I went through a period of prayer and fasting one meal a day. All I can say is that when the Holy Spirit starts revealing truth and backing it up with scripture, it is best to obey God than man (or woman). I searched myself, and keep checking my own obedience to the word because I know hurt and emotional abuse can open the door to deception, I can only suggest that you keep doing the same (I can tell you have been searching yourself). Once you are sure of what God is telling you to do JUST DO IT. He will take care of the rest. If we are to "follow peace with all men" and "seek peace and pursue it" we may have to step away from toxic relationships. But I will suggest always maintain respect and guard your heart vehemently and ask God to set a watch over your mouth. If your joy has been stolen, so has your strength (borrowed that from a friend who knew what I was going through) so take time to maintain prayer, personal praise and worship and studying and meditating on the scripture to keep you strong in the Lord.

I will pray for you.

 

[pebbles]

I haven't seen anyone speak negatively about my father in this thread. Only I have. I am venting and expressing what he has done and how I feel about him and how his words and actions have affected me spiritually as well as emotionally and psychologically. I cannot deny how I feel. And if you really want to know something, I'm not the only person that has felt this way about him and the church. And not just my immediate family either. There have been church members that have left the church because of certain issues. It's not just me, and it's not just us. And it's not like I said my dad is Satan or anything. My dad is saying that about me.

And Shimmie, I wasn't born yesterday and I'm not stupid or uneducated. I have a spirit of discernment about motives and agendas and opinions and attitudes or whatever. If I feel like the church is cult, that's how I feel. Even my brother has said the same thing. Even my cousins who came in town from Michigan said the same thing. And I didn't even provoke them to say it. They noticed it themselves without me even saying one word about my sentiments.

Talking about my father just happens to be the main issue with my spiritual well-being since he is my father and my pastor at the current moment. Maybe Satan is attacking both of us, but at the same time, God is the one who is in control and will have the victory in this situation whether I stay at this church or go to another one. I know one thing for sure, I'm not about to stay there for the sake of pleasing my father. I'm a Christian that has spiritual needs as well.

It appears that your mind is made up. Do what you feel is best for you. :Rose: