I don't want him, but I don't want anyone else to have him

X

Xavier

Well-Known Member
Yeah that's right. I know there are so many reasons why it wouldn't work out between us, but I can't stand to see him with someone else:wallbash:


Anyone else experiencing this now or have in the past?
 
By the time my divorce came around I was wishing and hoping and thinking and praying that someone would come and take this man away...he's been in a bad mood ever since and it's hard to parent with someone who is cranky all the time. :look:
 
adequate said:
By the time my divorce came around I was wishing and hoping and thinking and praying that someone would come and take this man away...he's been in a bad mood ever since and it's hard to parent with someone who is cranky all the time. :look:
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In a way that's how I know I still love him. But, then there's being in love and loving someone. It can be a tad confusing for me at times. So, I just leave it in god's hands. :perplexed
 
You sound like me, I just got out of a relationship like this.... I would brake up with him and when I heard that he was dating/seeing/talking to another female i would come back.........:yep: But i just had to let it go cause I was just leading him on and giving him false hope.
 
Yes.

I am angry about the time I spent with him, thinking everything was going to work out.

I am really upset that he gives his love to someone else when I feel I deserve it. I don't necessarily care that someone else has HIM b/c he is a true lump of sh!t, but I am still incensed and offended that I somehow wasn't good enough (not true, I know) but she is?

And then I realize, he understands he can't get and keep a good girl of my station, so he is happy with what he has (a desperate dummy).

And then I start to feel a little bit better :drunk:.
 
sunnydaze said:
Hmph.same situation as Adequate..in fact, I cannot wait until my ex meets someone....
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I'm with you. Well, kinda.

I dunno - I think it'd burn to see him with someone else. But I also think he needs to realize that there is NO chance. NONE. And no amount of "lets just hang out" is going to fix that.
 
winterinatl said:
Yes.

I am angry about the time I spent with him, thinking everything was going to work out.

I am really upset that he gives his love to someone else when I feel I deserve it. I don't necessarily care that someone else has HIM b/c he is a true lump of sh!t, but I am still incensed and offended that I somehow wasn't good enough (not true, I know) but she is?

And then I realize, he understands he can't get and keep a good girl of my station, so he is happy with what he has (a desperate dummy).

And then I start to feel a little bit better :drunk:.
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:lachen::lachen:dat's funny right there!
 
Well I truly know that I deserve better. I told him a couple of weeks ago that I feel sorry for the woman he ends up with because she is going to have to put up with a lot, and he thought it was hilarious. I can't stand to see him with someone but also at times I wish that he would find someone so that I can official move on. I know it sounds crazy but the feelings are still there on both are parts. It was the last relationship for the both of us.
 
I know the feeling. I am sort of going through this now. When I say sort of I mean, I don't want him and I don't want anyone else to have him till I have moved on. It's not that I necessarally want him, because I know I can get better, it's just that I would want to move on with someone who is not a rebound but someone who is sent by God to me, and have him watch/hear how happy I am and then he can move on.

Maybe a little bit bitter. Reminds me of the Tanya Stevens song "Can't eat, Can't sleep, Can't Breath"
 
I have felt that way before about one person..maybe I always will a little. I think when you've totally surrendered to the thought of spending the rest of your life with a certain person and it doesn't happen, this attitude overtakes you after the break-up. That's why with all intense relationships it's best to have a clean break, no communication..outta sight outta mind for a nice loooooong amount of time. It's over for a reason, you only keep yourself stuck remaining friends or knowing in some other way about his life after you..it can become obsessive too. Surrender fully to the thought of him not being a part of your life, embrace all that's new and that feeling will eventually leave.
 
adequate said:
By the time my divorce came around I was wishing and hoping and thinking and praying that someone would come and take this man away...he's been in a bad mood ever since and it's hard to parent with someone who is cranky all the time. :look:
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I am at the opposite end of that spectrum....I told my ex husband...if you mess things up with "new girlfriend" I am going to be soo mad at you:lachen:. She seems nice and seems to really like my 5 y/o daughter plus I do not want him and am in a really great relationship so I could not care less who has him as long as he is happy and it makes co-parenting easier.:yep:
 
tatje said:
I know the feeling. I am sort of going through this now. When I say sort of I mean, I don't want him and I don't want anyone else to have him till I have moved on. It's not that I necessarally want him, because I know I can get better, it's just that I would want to move on with someone who is not a rebound but someone who is sent by God to me, and have him watch/hear how happy I am and then he can move on.

Maybe a little bit bitter. Reminds me of the Tanya Stevens song "Can't eat, Can't sleep, Can't Breath"
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I love that song and I love Tanya Stevens.
 
I have been there. I kinda still am...
My ex-fiance was childish and really got on my nerves, but he has so much potential. A guy friend of mine told me that some other chick was gonna reap the benefits from all of my work. He said I was making him the perfect guy for the next girl. Sadly, I think he was right.

I still don't want to see anyone living the life that I was supposed to live. We were together for so long and planned so much of our lives together. Now that we have both been seeing other people (he moved far away so neither of us has to see it) I don't want him to settle down. He can date all he wants, but I am not ready to hear that he's in a serious relationship or engaged to someone else. (Even though I have been in another serious relationship.) Selfish, I know.

We are pretty cool friends now. He tells me how much he misses me a lot, but I think he's just lonely. In reality, I don't really want him back, I just don't want anyone else to live the life with him that we planned together. :sad:
 
DivaStyle said:
I have been there. I kinda still am...
My ex-fiance was childish and really got on my nerves, but he has so much potential. A guy friend of mine told me that some other chick was gonna reap the benefits from all of my work. He said I was making him the perfect guy for the next girl. Sadly, I think he was right.

I still don't want to see anyone living the life that I was supposed to live. We were together for so long and planned so much of our lives together. Now that we have both been seeing other people (he moved far away so neither of us has to see it) I don't want him to settle down. He can date all he wants, but I am not ready to hear that he's in a serious relationship or engaged to someone else. (Even though I have been in another serious relationship.) Selfish, I know.

We are pretty cool friends now. He tells me how much he misses me a lot, but I think he's just lonely. In reality, I don't really want him back, I just don't want anyone else to live the life with him that we planned together. :sad:
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I know someone who dealt with this. Supported her man all through med school when he was dead broke. Then when he was done with his schooling the relationship ended. He said his feeling had changed and he needed to move on and got engaged a year later to his new girlfriend.:drunk:
 
Xavier said:
I know someone who dealt with this. Supported her man all through med school when he was dead broke. Then when he was done with his schooling the relationship ended. He said his feeling had changed and he needed to move on and got engaged a year later to his new girlfriend.:drunk:
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Do you know me in real life? j/k
My ex and I were together through college and while he was in med school! Our break up was mutual, and he hasn't gotten engaged, but that's still similar. He was a sheltered child who I felt needed to spread his wings a little before he got married because he seemed to always feel like he was missing something (due to his lack of life experiences). Now that he's a resident in a huge city, he sees that he wasn't really missing much, and he's trying to be all sweet to me. He always thought we would get back together, but I moved on. I told him I wasn't gonna wait on him and that if we didn't have it together before his residency I was not following him. I don't think he believed me.

Like I said, I know all the reasons why we shouldn't be together, but I still hate the idea of someone else living the life I used to dream about.
 
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